“Okay. Just come get me when you’re ready.”
Cam made himself some toast, and Rachel took her tea and cereal to the table. Cam expected her to say something about him and Gareth any minute, but she messed about on her phone as she ate, only setting it down on the table when he joined her there.
He went to pick up a slice of toast and then paused, unable to stop himself from asking. “Aren’t you going to bring up our conversation from yesterday? I assumed it would be the first thing you asked me when I got back in last night.”
She smiled, but Cam sensed the sadness in it. “I said what I did yesterday, because I believed it needed to be said. But how you handle this thing with Gareth is nobody’s business but yours and his. As I was walking back last night, I realised that maybe I was projecting my needs onto you. I wanted you to see what you could have with Gareth and not waste this chance, because I already lost mine. But it’s not my place to tell you how to deal with this. That said, if you ever want to talk to someone who isn’t an official member of your pack, and who is relatively impartial, I’m here for you, and it would go no further than these walls. Not even to my father.” She let out a bitter laugh. “Especially not him.”
The offer was heartfelt, and Cam appreciated it. To see him have this chance and not act on it must be incredibly hard for her to watch. “Thank you. I’ll keep that in mind.”
Rachel made herself scarce as Cam’s betas began to arrive. Daryl appeared first. Closely followed by Mike and Alec. Cam let them in and ushered them through to the living room. Alec said nothing of the night before—not that Cam expected him to; his word was his bond—but Cam relaxed a little nonetheless. Jason and Paul arrived together, and unsurprisingly, Gareth was the last of his betas to get there.
Cam went to answer the door, and for the first time in as long as he could remember, a nervous tension rippled through him as Gareth’s familiar scent hit him. Subtle at first, the delicate hints of citrus teased his senses, as though he hadn’t smelt it a thousand times before. Shaking it off, he opened the door and greeted Gareth with as reassuring a smile as he could muster. He needed this not to be awkward for everyone’s sakes.
Gareth’s scent hit him full force, his body’s reaction to it taking Cam totally by surprise. A rush of warmth filled him from his very core to the tips of his fingers, stealing his breath. Maybe his attempt to let himself feel had worked after all. If so, then the result was unwelcome, and Cam struggled to keep a calm exterior.
Gareth couldn’t know.
“Sorry I’m late.” Gareth spoke to the floor before sighing and looking up to meet Cam’s gaze. The mixture of defeat and want in his eyes clutched at Cam’s heart.
He forced his emotions back down where they belonged and stepped back to let Gareth inside. “You’re not late. It’s fine.”
With a nod, Gareth eased past him and into the living area to join the others. Cam closed the door and took a moment to rest his head against it. His wolf stirred inside him, interest piqued with Gareth now in Cam’s space. That one brief encounter seemed like a monumental shift in their dynamic—as though Cam teetered on the edge of a cliff. He could take a step back to the relative safety of the life he’d lived for the past ten years, or he could leap into the unknown and face all the risks that went with it.
Alec’s words replayed in his head. “You also told me that the chance of a bond was worth risking everything for.”
Instinct warred with common sense. Cam curled his hands into fists, let his claws slide out to pierce his palms, and used the pain to keep himself focused. He was having to do that far too often these days.
His new pack was a fragile allegiance in need of constant attention to prevent rifts forming and becoming too wide to fix. He didn’t have time for this, couldn’t afford more distractions when there were already so many things that required his attention.
I don’t feel anything but a pack bond for Gareth.
Yesterday he’d thought that was true, but now the words tasted like ash on his tongue. The voice in the back of his mind—that sounded more and more like Alec’s—whispered to him, If you let this one go, if you don’t at least try… will there ever be another chance?
Cam thoughts immediately went to Mia, and guilt bit at him deep and unforgiving. What would she think if she was watching over me right now?
She’d tell me to man the fuck up and stop living in the past.
Deep down in the depths of his soul, he knew she’d never want him to spend the rest of his life alone.
He took a deep breath in, Gareth’s scent as strong as before.
Instinct or common sense…?
Bollocks to it.
He pushed off the door with a low growl. He was the fucking alpha of this pack… time to go in there and act like it.
CHAPTER TEN
Bloody hell.
Gareth took a moment to just breathe as he left Cam in the hallway. He thought he’d been prepared for this. Walking over from his building, he’d done nothing but steel himself to enter Cam’s home again, prepare for the intoxicating scent that was certain to hit him as soon as he walked in.
The prospect of it had been hard enough to deal with, but the reality was so much worse. Despite his best efforts, Gareth couldn’t get Tim’s words out of his head—somewhere inside that hard exterior, Cam had feelings for him. They might be locked away and probably not as intense as Gareth’s, but he felt something.
When the door opened, Gareth’s first instinct had been to lean in close and run his nose along Cam’s neck, scenting him. Thank fuck he’d managed to stifle that one. Cam made no move towards him, so Gareth could only assume nothing had changed between them.
With herculean effort, he’d walked past without laying a finger on Cam, but he doubted he’d had as much control over his scent. He should have asked Tim if the potential bonding scent lasted for a few hours or if it was a permanent thing. Breathing in deep revealed nothing. Maybe it had passed? Or maybe he was just used to it by now? Either way, he had to go into a room full of betas and hope no one picked up on it.
A low growl sounded by the front door, sending a shiver down his spine. What the hell was Cam doing? Gareth bit his lip, cursing internally when a fang tip pierced the skin.
Get it together.
When he finally entered the living room, he got a few curious glances from the others, but no one commented. Maybe he’d been acting weird enough these days that it was becoming the norm?
Only Alec looked at him for longer than strictly necessary, and Gareth got the feeling he knew. He raised an eyebrow, silently asking the question, but Alec gave the slightest shake of his head, then nodded at the doorway.
Gareth glanced over to see Cam now stood there, his easy, no-nonsense manner back in full force.
Smiling at the room at large, Cam’s gaze lingered on Gareth for just a moment before he strode over to stand in front of the unlit fireplace. “Let’s get started, shall we?”
Gareth took a seat next to Daryl, purposefully avoiding looking at Alec. Then Cam started to speak, and Gareth needed all his focus to keep himself in check. That soft, yet commanding voice seem to reach deep inside him, every word stoking the already smouldering embers of their bond. At this rate, he might very well combust before the end of the meeting.
“Firstly, I’d like to know the general feeling in the pack regarding Rachel.” Her name coming from Cam was like a wet cloth to Gareth’s internal fire. Despite knowing what he did, the thought of her here, with Cam, raised his hackles and he swallowed back a snippy retort. Breathing in, he forced himself to identify Rachel’s scent and fucking deal with it. He was better than this, for fuck’s sake.
Sounding way calmer than he expected, Gareth answered first. “I’d already told the members of my unit, so there was no surprise there. And to be honest, they’re curious more than anything. All of them are keen to meet her.”
Cam’s lips twitched. “I’m sure that can be arranged. I’d like her to meet as
many of the pack as possible in the time she’s here. It’s good for us all to hear about pack life from a different perspective.”
Gareth nodded. “As for the rest of them, the general mood seems to be in a similar vein—mild curiosity. Apart from those few in the meeting, I haven’t heard any negative reactions, but then again, I spent a lot of the weekend in my flat, so….” He made the mistake of looking up at the same time as Cam and lost his train of thought.
Daryl picked up the conversation saying much the same as Gareth, as did Alec and Mike. When it came to Paul and Jason, they glanced at each other first, and Gareth sighed. That didn’t look promising.
Grasping the distraction with both hands, he focused on the two of them as Jason started to speak.
“Overall, I’d say reactions were positive, if a little mixed. My unit were curious, much like everyone else’s, but some of the others I spoke were uneasy too. As a pack, we’ve just lost our alpha and gained not only a new one, but also joined with another bigger pack. After years of being in the dark with Newell, I think a lot of them just want to be kept informed.” He stopped and looked to Paul.
Out of the two of them, Jason was the more outspoken. Paul tended to only speak when he absolutely had to. But given the same situation, Gareth wasn’t sure he’d react any differently. He knew Jason a little better since the two packs had merged, but not Paul. He made a mental note to rectify that. Cam had always taught them to lead by example, and Gareth was doing a shit job of that lately. Pack was about unity. Family. If Jason and Paul didn’t feel that way, then something needed to change.
Paul cleared his throat, capturing Gareth attention, and everyone else’s. “I spoke to Robert Davies and a couple from his old unit after the meeting on Friday.”
Fucking Davies. Gareth struggled to find any pack unity with him or his group of friends.
Cam’s expression remained calm. “And?”
“I know he was way out of line talking to you like he did, and I told them all exactly that.”
“But?” Cam offered.
“But Wes had been acting as their beta, and now they’re on their own. And fuck knows what he and Newell are saying to them when they go to the prison.” Paul shook his head. “Wes let them form some pretty bad habits, but they’re too young or too stubborn to realise it and to want to change.”
“Probably a bit of both.” Cam sighed, and with a sinking feeling, Gareth wondered how much he and his fucking declaration were adding to Cam’s weariness.
Paul hesitated before adding, “They badly need a beta again.”
“You’re right. They do.” Cam’s gaze flicked between Paul and Jason. “As far as I see it, we have three options.” He spared a glance at the rest of them, and the hairs on the back of Gareth’s neck stood up. He’d already figured he was getting an addition to his unit. He didn’t want any more. “One, we could split them up and integrate them into some of the other units.” Both Jason and Paul frowned but kept quiet, waiting for Cam to finish. “Or, we keep them together and choose a new beta.”
“Who, though?” Jason asked.
Cam smiled. “Well, that would be options two and three. It would either be from your old pack or mine. The latter choice would probably piss them off but might help with pack integration.” He faced Jason and Paul, head slightly tilted as though studying them. “I take it you’re not keen on option one?”
Jason grimaced. “I think it would have the opposite effect to what you’re trying to achieve. They’d only get angrier about being separated, and that’ll help no one.”
“Hmm.” Cam glanced up at the ceiling, seeming to mull that answer over.
Without really thinking about what he was doing, Gareth let his gaze linger on the faint hint of stubble covering Cam’s throat and lower jaw. When he swallowed, Gareth’s heart stuttered—the bob of his Adam’s apple so captivating, Gareth jumped a little when Cam started speaking again. “We can shelve that idea for now. I’m willing to cut them some slack under the circumstances.”
“Thank you.”
Cam inclined his head in acknowledgement. “In that case, I’d like your input as to who you think would be suitable to be their beta.”
“Can we go away and think about it?” Jason asked.
“Of course. I wasn’t expecting an answer right this second. But we can’t allow their behaviour to escalate. I’d like some suggestions from you by Wednesday at the latest.”
“Understood.”
Alec asked the question that was on the tip of Gareth’s tongue. “Did you ask them why they’d been going to the prison to see those two arseholes?”
“I did.” Paul scrubbed a hand over his jaw. “They were reluctant to answer, as you’d expect, but apparently they just wanted to hear Wes and Newell’s side of things.”
Alec scoffed. “So hearing it from Cam and the alpha council wasn’t enough for them?”
Paul shrugged. “I think they honestly believed every lie Wes told them before the shit hit the fan.”
“Do you think they’re telling the truth?”
“About the visit?” Paul sighed, and Gareth felt a rush of sympathy for him. It must be difficult to be put in that position. These were members of his pack, well, Gareth’s too now, and he was being asked to report on them. “Yes, but I don’t think it’s the whole truth. It might have been the reason they went the first time.” He looked to Cam. “But they’ve been more than once, right?”
“They have,” Cam replied.
Paul carried on. “How much can either Wes or Newell have to say on that subject? Whatever it is they’re discussing now, though, Davies wouldn’t say.”
The ends of Gareth’s fingers tingled, his wolf dangerously close to the surface—like it always was around Cam lately. He clenched his hands in a loose fist, just in case, and concentrated hard on keeping his breathing steady. “Can’t you order them to tell you? You’re their alpha now, after all.” It had never been Cam’s way to force his pack to do as he asked, and Gareth regretted saying it as soon as the words left his mouth. The frown on Cam’s face had him adding, “Sorry, I know that’s not an option.”
Cam sighed, but the look he sent Gareth was resigned, not angry. “Believe me, it’s a tempting thought, especially because it concerns Newell, but exerting my alpha authority to make them do something they don’t want to do would make me just as bad as him. We need to find another way.”
Paul spoke up as the rest of them remained silent. “I can try talking to some of the others, away from Davies, see if they’re willing to be more forthcoming?”
“I don’t think it would hurt to try.” Cam smiled at Paul, but Gareth knew that look in his eyes. He’d already made up his mind and formed a plan of action. And waiting for Paul to ask around again wasn’t it.
Gareth cast a quick glance at Alec, who turned as if sensing it. They shared a look, and Gareth knew that Alec thought the same as him. He wanted Alec to ask. Gareth’s fangs were on the verge of sliding out with each second he spent thinking about Newell and Wes, and he didn’t need everyone else seeing his sudden lack of control.
Thankfully, Alec voiced his concerns. “You already have something in mind, don’t you?”
The barest of smiles appeared as Cam glanced Alec’s way, before disappearing as his expression sobered. “I might have. But not anything that I’m willing to share at this moment. For now, I’d like you all to continue to keep an ear out for signs of unrest within the pack. Jason and Paul, please come see me Wednesday with your beta recommendations, and if you manage to get any more information regarding the prison visits, then come see me immediately.”
Gareth watched Cam wrap up the meeting, and suddenly he knew what Cam’s plan was.
No.
He hadn’t actually thought he’d been serious before when he’d mentioned it, but now there didn’t appear to be another way. Gareth saw the resolve in his stance. He’d made his decision.
“No.” Gareth hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but the
word fell out of his mouth on a snarl.
Everyone in the room stopped, and the hairs on the back of Gareth’s neck stood on end as six pairs of eyes turned his way. Claw tips dug into his palms, and the coppery tang of blood filtered through the air around him. With his control almost gone, Gareth shot a panicked look at Cam.
“Right.” Cam’s alpha voice caught everyone’s attention. “I think that’ll do for this morning’s meeting. I’ll check in with you all throughout the week.”
Alec shot to his feet, ushering Mike and Daryl to do the same, and Gareth sent him a grateful look. Paul and Jason followed them out, and Gareth clung on to the sliver of control he had left until the front door clicked shut and they were alone in the room.
Throwing his head back, he let his teeth slide out, and the low growl building in his chest spilt out breaking the silence. Gareth stood and backed away from Cam until he felt the far wall press against his back. “I’m sorry.”
Cam raised both hands out in front of him. “It’s okay. But you need to calm down.”
“Can’t.” Closing his eyes, Gareth counted to ten in his head, willing himself to relax, but the problem was he didn’t fucking want to. What he wanted, what he needed was to march into that fucking prison and rip Newell’s throat out so he wouldn’t cause any more problems for Gareth’s pack or his alpha. “I want to kill him.”
“I know.” By the sound of his voice, Cam hadn’t moved. If this had been last week, he’d have rushed to calm Gareth himself—with a firm hand on his neck or his shoulder. He’d have touched him somewhere, and the distance between them drove an imaginary knife through Gareth’s heart. He’d done this, caused this rift between them by showing Cam how he felt and letting the bond process kick in.
Tim’s words came back to him as he struggled with his emotions.
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