by Tarrah Betts
I loved fireworks. They were so beautiful and captivating as they exploded in the sky. I felt utterly spellbound by them.
My favorite fireworks, by far, were the golden ones that looked like what I imagined “pixie dust” would look like if it was falling from the sky. I’d once heard someone call that particular firework “Heaven’s Staircase” and I thought that perfectly encapsulated all the wonder and beauty of their shimmering golden perfection.
Sorcha had excitedly assured me that there were going to be quite a few boys at the party.
And even ones that I didn’t know!
The prospect of having a different gene pool occupying the same geographical space as me was in itself pretty exciting as outsiders rarely ventured into Spruce Hollow.
It was a one-horse town and populated with families who’d lived there for generations.
The Were pack alone had lived on the acreage for over 200 years.
I'd spent all day over at Sorcha’s house, helping her and her family prepare for the massive party. The guests were due to start arriving around eight and there was still a lot left to be done, so I rolled up my sleeves and pitched in. Sorcha and I had spent most of our time hanging up banners and New Years eve themed decorations and the barn was starting to look more like "party time" and less like "farm animals occasionally poop here".
“Does this look straight to you?” Sorcha asked as she laid a table runner filled with pictures of balloons and party horns on the punch table.
“Hmm, I think so” I replied as I straightened the snack table banner. “What are you wearing tonight, anyway?” I asked.
“Oh my god, Aspen, I got this new dress on that trip that I took to Shawfield with my mom last week. It’s so short; I can’t even believe that my mom actually bought it for me! It makes my legs look super long, I can’t wait until Josh sees me in it, he’s going to be so sorry that he broke up with me and left me for that hoe bag,” Sorcha replied bitterly.
“He’s such a jerk, you could do so much better than him, Sorcha. I saw the two of them on the last day of school right before Christmas break and I swear to god she was trying to lick his tonsils, it was totally gross. And she was dressed like a total prostitute. I don’t know what he sees in her, you’re so much prettier than she is,” I said emphatically.
Ever since Sorcha’s ex boyfriend, Josh, had dumped her after their two month anniversary, it was my job, as Sorcha’s very best friend, to completely trash him and his new girlfriend whenever the opportunity presented itself.
Josh had broken Sorcha’s heart when he had left her for one of the known “easy” girls in school and even though he was a jerk who didn’t deserve her, Sorcha was, sadly, still in love with him.
“Really, you think so?” Sorcha asked.
“Absolutely!” I said.
I wasn’t just saying it thought, Sorcha was a head turning beauty with long blonde hair and even longer legs. She had beautiful baby blue eyes and pouty lips and as such, generally got the best looking guys in school chasing after her.
That is, until they ultimately found out that she didn’t put out and was saving herself for “the one” to come along and sweep her off her feet.
She even wore a purity ring and everything.
I don’t know if I shared her sentiments on premarital sex but I definitely had to respect her for them. I subscribed to the belief that you had to take the car out for a test drive before you committed to buying it, because marriage was a pretty long commitment, or at least it should be.
In my head, it just didn’t make any sense to get married to someone without knowing that you were compatible in ways that seemed to be pretty significant.
And even though I was still a virgin and had only seen one penis when I was thirteen and Billy Donovan lost his shorts when he dove off the diving board head first at the community pool, sex seemed like it must be a pretty important part of a relationship to get wrong.
“I can’t wait until you meet my cousin Taylor, he’s so hilarious. He’s in college up North. And guess what, he’s supposed to be bringing some of his fraternity brothers with him tonight. Can you imagine, Aspen? Frats boys!! Oh my god, tonight is going to be so much fun!” Sorcha said as she hugged me enthusiastically.
Chapter 28
***
I had primped and preened for hours when I heard Caver’s truck pull into the driveway.
Roan was finally home!
He and the new Were had arrived back from the training camp sometime after lunch and once Caver got the call from Griff, he promptly got up from watching some sports show, popped his head in my room to say "bye" and hopped into his truck.
That was hours ago.
Caver had left our house hours ago to go pick up Roan at the Alpha’s house and I had erroneously assumed that he would be bringing him right back home.
I wondered what they’d been doing all day?
I felt slightly miffed. I hadn’t seen Roan in a really long time, couldn’t he of at least come home to see me first and then gone back out with Caver and Griff? Wasn't I important to him too?
I checked the mirror, one last time before I went out to see him. I had only done my hair and makeup for the party so far and was still wearing a pair of pajama pants and a tank top that I threw on after I got out of the shower. But at least my hair looked really pretty. I had straightened it with the new flat iron my Mom had given me for Christmas. I didn’t often wear my hair like this, as it was too much work to tame my wild tangle of curls. I had to run various hair products through it, blow-dry my entire head in sections, then run each section through the flat iron and then finally smooth some more product down the length of it.
It was time consuming but the end result was worth it. Boys tended to love the long silky strands that reached nearly to the small of my back and girls looked at me in full-blown envy.
Tonight, my makeup was done similarly to what it was the night I had gone to the party at the Dam or “Whore Makeup” as Roan liked to call it. Meh, whatever, I wasn’t going to let Roan ruin this night for me. Between him finally coming home from the training camp and the party at Sorcha’s tonight, I was filled to brimming with near mind numbing exhilaration.
Besides, Roan had already given me permission to go to the party; there was no way he was going to take it back now.
Oh, who was I kidding, this was Roan we were talking about, he could do whatever the heck he felt like and anyone else and their feelings about the situation could go hang, in his opinion.
As a precaution, I took off a little of the eye makeup before I left my room to go out and welcome him home.
I didn’t want to give him any reason to make me stay home.
I was eager and nearly trembling as I heard Roan come in the side door. We hadn’t seen one another in so long and even though we’d never actually consummated a physical relationship, or even kissed in a sexual way for that matter, I’d still missed him like a woman yearning for her lover.
With the distance between us, you’d think that we’d drift apart somewhat but our time apart had the opposite effect with Roan and I somehow becoming even closer than before due to our daily texting, emailing and phone calls back and forth.
It felt like our bond was more intimate and solid than it had been before he left Spruce Hollow.
I wondered if Roan felt the same way?
If the bracelet he’d given me for Christmas was any indication, I would have to say that he felt it too.
Walking to my bedroom door, I stopped and listened. Roan was in his bedroom, I could hear him dropping his rucksack on the floor, so I took a big breath and opened the door to peer down the hall.
Startled, I jumped and let out a little frightened squeak as Roan was standing in the hallway, right outside my door. Man, he was fast.
He laughed as he walked into my room.“Hi little girl, miss me?” he said, as he picked me up and swung me around my room in a great big bear hug.
“Yes, I did. I’m so glad you’re home Roan!�
� I said as I tried to wrap my arms around his muscular upper body to hug him back and failed miserable, he was just too wide. He smiled down at me, his blue eyes shinning with emotion as I hugged him as best I could and laid my head on his chest. He nuzzled my hair, inhaling deeply and set me down gently on the floor.
“I see you’re getting ready for your New Years party at Sorcha’s,” he said as he took in my hair and makeup.
“Is this where you tell me that I can’t go?” I asked nervously.
“No, I want you to go, Aspen. You’re young and beautiful. I want you to go and have a great time tonight.”
“Um, Roan, are you feeling alright? You’re acting kind of “un- Roan like,” I said suspiciously.
“Nope, I’m feeling just fine. I guess I must have missed you or something, pretty girl,” he said as he held me at arms length and regarded me with a strange look in his eyes.
Wow, he was in a great mood. I hadn’t seen this version of Roan in quite some time.
It was just too weird, like something was up. This was not the Roan I’d known for the past year and a half.
This was more like the old Roan, the happy, carefree one from my childhood.
“Where were you guys all day anyway? I thought you got back at lunch time?” I asked. I was hurt that he hadn't come home sooner to see me and was anxious to hear where he'd been. Although I'm sure what he considered a good excuse and what I considered one were two different things. Weres!
“I met up with some of the guys from the pack and we went out drinking to celebrate with the new Were on successfully joining the pack.”
Ah ha, I knew Roan wasn’t acting like himself and that explained everything! Roan had been drinking with his pack brothers, that’s what accounted for his jubilant mood. It explained everything perfectly: the smiling, the happiness, and the relaxed attitude towards me going out to Sorcha’s party.
I had rarely seen Roan while under the influence of alcohol, as he kept me sheltered from any unsavory behavior that he might engage in while he was out with the pack. My mind was racing with this new information; I wondered how much I could get away with, with him like this? Would he let me stay out later? Go on a date with Justin? Or maybe even give me something that I wanted so much more?
“I really missed you while you were gone, Roan,” I said as I stepped closer to him.
He just stood there, so I took another step closer. He still didn’t move away.
My hormones were racing at our proximity. I wondered if he would let me touch him? Swallowing whatever nervousness I had, I threw caution to the wind and grabbed Roan’s hand and pulled him closer to me until our bodies met. I hadn't been this close, physically, to him in a very long time. His body felt warm and solid against mine as he looked down at me, his eyes hooded with an unnamed emotion. Desire maybe?
“Aspen, what are you doing?” he said as he halfheartedly tried to pull away from me. I had no idea what had gotten into me and possessed me to behave in such a manner but I knew that unless Roan physically restrained me, there was no way I was going to stop.
His full lips were curled up in one corner, like he found my behavior amusing but I could feel his erection through his jeans, so maybe it meant something else entirely?
“Don’t you like me Roan? I like you,” I said softly as I looked up into his blue eyes.
“Aspen…” he said in a semi patronizing tone, but he still wasn’t pulling away from me. So, that was a good sign.
This was it, my chance to get physically and emotionally closer to him and I was going for it with both barrels blazing.
“I want to kiss you Roan. I want you so badly. Don’t you want me,” I asked, my voice silky and smooth.
Roan stood, cocked his head and regarded me intensely for a moment, as if he was deciding something important in his head. I held my breath as I waited for his answer.
Oh, please say 'Yes', Roan, please. I’m on fire for you.
After what seemed like an eternity of us just staring at one another, finally he spoke:
“Have a good time at your party, Aspen,” he said suddenly as he pulled away from me and stalked out of my bedroom.
Damn it all!
I pushed too hard. I was too eager and wanting when I threw myself at him. And even though it stung to have him walk away from me, there was no way I was finished. Now normally, the old Aspen would have just died of embarrassment but something had changed within me in the past month and a half with regards to Roan. I couldn't put my finger on it but having him walk away from me this time, it almost felt like he was taking something that was rightfully mine.
And it left me feeling more aggravated and kind of pissed off, rather than anything else.
I had no idea what was happening to me anymore.
The only thing I did know was that right now, I was fuming mad at Roan. I mean, how dare he walk away from me? How dare he send me hot and cold signals until my head felt like it was going to pop off?
I wanted him and he wanted me.
He did too; I could feel it emanating from him and it seeped deep inside my bones. He’d even had a raging hard on when we were close to one another, for cripes sake!
Sexually frustrated and angry, I stomped off towards Roan’s room to find his door closed. But it made no matter, I would not be stopped from getting what was rightfully mine.
Oh my god, did I just say that Roan was MINE?
What in the heck was wrong with me?
Wrenching the door open, I found Roan standing by his dresser, naked from the waist up. I stopped short, my frantic quest temporarily sidetracked, as my breath caught in my throat.
Chapter 29
***
Still reeling Roan's abrupt departure from my room, I refused to be shot down so easily. I already had my hand in the cookie jar, I wasn't leaving until I could taste the chocolate chip goodness on my tongue.
Opening his bedroom door, I was greeted by a shirtless Roan getting dressed to go back out. He was, by far, the most beautiful man I’d ever seen in my entire life, which was saying a lot because we lived with a large pack of physically unblemished Weres. There wasn’t an ugly or physically unattractive Were in the entire bunch. Genetically speaking, they were flawless specimens of human physical fitness.
Roan’s body was perfect, hard and lean, as I stared at his chest, my eyes full of naked desire. My gaze roamed from his hard pecs to his six-pack and hard, tattooed biceps, and back again.
I drank him in but it wasn’t enough. I wanted to lick him everywhere.
“Jesus, Aspen! I’m changing here. Get the hell out!” he roared at me.
“I don’t give a crap, Roan. This needs to stop. You need to stop. I know you care about me, I don’t know how or why but I can feel it inside me. I like you too, so stop being such a coward and do something about it! I’m not going to wait around for you forever, you know. Why do you push me away, only to pull me back again? I can’t take it anymore, Roan. Either you want me or you don’t. Make up your damn mind!” I was breathless with the conviction and passion with which I’d uttered my little speech.
I stood my ground and stared at him right in the eye, waiting for a response. He just looked at me, his blue eyes dark as he held his shirt in his hand.
We stood and stared at one other for what felt like forever. Neither of us spoke, we just took in the others face, lips, eyes, hair, until Roan finally threw the shirt on his bed and stalked towards me like an animal hunting his prey.
My heart was pounding in my ears as he grabbed me by the upper arms and roughly shoved me against the wall. He was rough with me as he crushed me with his body and I let out a little “ouff” sound as his weight forced the air from my lungs.
We stayed like this, neither one of us moving, until he leaned down and whispered darkly into my ear: “You think you can handle me, little girl? You’re wrong. I would break you in half. I would fuck you until you cried. You are too young and too immature for me. You need to grow up first, then we ca
n talk”.
He nipped my shoulder sharply as he pulled away and walked back over to his bed, thinking that he had frightened me; that I would back down and run away screaming like a little girl to my bedroom.
He obviously didn't know me that well any more.
I was a tempestuous bundle of sensual need, teenaged hormones and horniness, not a frightened six-year-old girl that sat on his lap eating cookies.
“You think you can scare me, is that what you’re trying to do here? Scare me away from the big bad Roan? Nice try but I’ve known you my entire life. You wouldn’t hurt me. You wouldn't dare. You are incapable of hurting me, Roan. You want me and I want you, you idiot! So what if I’m too young for you? Who cares? I don’t care, shouldn’t that be an important deciding factor here before you send me on my merry way?”
He was quiet. So very quiet as we stood in the silence of his bedroom. What was running through his mind? Why wasn't he talking? He just stood and stared at me, still plastered against the wall, in his steady half pissed off, half amused stare.
I was clinging to the precipice of desperation, struggling hard to maintain control over my newfound emotions but I could feel myself slowly slipping down into the sheer blackness of hopelessness and volatile distress.
Desperate and on the verge of weeping uncontrollably, I was nearly ready to beg Roan to love me.
Please love me Roan. Oh god, please.
I didn’t know where all these overwhelming emotions had come from but it felt like a damn had been split wide open inside of me, with all my longing and desire for Roan rushing forward like a tidal wave and pooling in my veins.
My lower lip was trembling as we stared at one another from across the room. I was holding on by a thread when his deep voice finally broke the silence in the room: “There are things going on here, Aspen, that you do not fully understand. It’s not time yet. Now, you need to leave my room and go get ready for your party” He turned his back on me and continued getting dressed, effectively dismissing me.
