I Was a Teenage Weredeer (The Bright Falls Mysteries Book 1)

by C. T. Phipps

  I was wearing a pair of jeans and a pink t-shirt with a white stag on the front. Beneath it, it said, “Got Deer?”, which I assumed was a bad joke about the stag being horny (ouch, I didn’t mean to make that pun). I wasn’t dressed up for work and my future at Pinehold washing dishes was uncertain despite the fact I was even gladder to be out of my parents’ house. I’d left behind the Merlin Gun even if I hadn’t yet gone through with my plan to bury it.

  “Shouldn’t security be escorting you out?” Marcus finally said.

  “Amazing what you can get past when you’re best friends with the boss’s granddaughter and claiming you’re delivering a sympathy card.”

  Marcus reached over to the phone. “Well, I’m going to tell them you delivered it and to escort you from the premises. I’m also pleased to tell you that your services are no longer—”

  “I know,” I said, my voice low and cold.

  Marcus paused. “Know what?”

  I scrunched up my brow. “You know, I’ve been thinking a lot about what happened. So much that it kept me up at night. Victoria, the Big Bad Wolf, the sacrifices, and all that. I couldn’t quite figure out how to make it all fit.”

  “Life is funny that way,” Marcus said, his canines exaggerating as his eyes became predatory and doglike.

  “The big question for me was why was Victoria in the woods to begin with? I knew Vicki before she turned into the mean girl she became her senior year and while we were never friends, I knew she’d never take her stilettos out into the woods voluntarily. Certainly not the Darkwater Preserve when she had all of this nice hotel land to run around.”

  “What are you implying?”

  “You sent her to the Big Bad Wolf,” I said, my voice dripping with disdain. “You weren’t able to deliver Lucien and his family to the demon ten years ago. I don’t know what you were offered in exchange for it, maybe it was just ending the curse on the town, but the fact you tried it meant you had some sort of deal set up. Then I thought about the resurrection plan which it mentioned. Nature spirits don’t think about that sort of thing, even when they’re being corrupted. Someone would have had to put that in its head.”

  “Black magic is very dangerous but not uncommon if you know the right people,” Marcus said, giving a half-smile. “The children probably would have risen as some sort of undead creatures, but I suspected it was past the point of caring.”

  “That’s another reason why you persecuted all but the Cervid magicians in town,” I said, nodding. “You’re a shaman too.”

  He laughed. “Wizard. I don’t pray to any god but myself.”

  “You are willing to make deals with them, though,” I said. “You screwed up your end of the bargain and didn’t want to risk its wrath by going back. You reconsidered when you saw Victoria grow up and start to look like your sister. You sent her into the woods as an offering. Your own flesh and blood.”

  “My brother’s flesh and blood,” Marcus corrected. “Victoria is my great-great grandniece, the same as her sister and brother. Enough that I’m willing to let them wander around the hotel, but not so much that they aren’t expendable to my dynasty. I’d claim your sister as my true offspring but she, sadly, showed her mother’s traits.”

  Wow, he was a real piece of work. “The demon claimed your daughter, though, and tried to enact the same plan as before. You couched Victoria through all of this in exchange for not hurting Emma anymore.”

  “A small price to pay.” Marcus leaned back in his chair and removed his glasses. “I even managed to convince her to get vampire blood to provide me with a bit of a boost in my old age. Enough that I don’t have to worry about any challenges from younger wolves when I attend the Moonmoots. The rest of the drugs she sold allowed me to maintain plausible deniability that I wasn’t paying for all of the magical paraphernalia she needed to try the ritual for a second time.”

  “Did you tell her to go after my brother?” I asked.

  Marcus smirked. “It would have served your mother right, but no. I only encouraged the Red Wolf to go after the others when they balked at sacrificing others I’d picked out. Killing Lucien off in the present day was part of the plan, of course. The Dragons have oppressed the werewolves and prevented our ascension to rulership for centuries. With the Red Wolf’s blessings, we might have overthrown the vampires eventually. Its death, though, at least means we don’t have to deal with its temper tantrums anymore. So, in a way, you have my thanks.”

  Any disbelief I’d had about there being a curse on the town was dispelled by the fact every business in town was flourishing. It turned out people must have been deliberately avoiding the town until this point since it was on a straight shot to New Detroit and within traveling distance to enjoy a beautiful countryside vacation. The fact that business had been somewhat improved since the Reveal meant either the Big Bad Wolf’s power hadn’t been enough to ruin the entire town or his sacrifice of the Dragon Clan had bought him some reprieve—I didn’t care which.

  I shook my head in disbelief. “Do you know how many people have died because of your plan?”

  “Apparently, I need to kill one more,” Marcus said, leaping across his desk and turning into a dire wolf in one easy motion.

  That was when he was sprayed in the face with verbena-spiked mace, causing him to scream. He’d forgotten I was faster than him even in human form. I’d also been prepared for him to pull something like that.

  “Argh!” Marcus shouted, turning around even as proceeded to electrocute him.

  The immense dire wolf howled before I gave him three jolts, just like Rudy, before giving him a fourth for good measure.

  “Security!” Marcus howled, literally, before turning back into an old man.

  The doors burst open, but it wasn’t his security guards who waited for him; it was Agent Timmons with a group of armed FBI agents behind him. Alex pointed his wand at the man on the ground before a flaming blade shot forth from the top, stopping just short of the agent’s neck.

  “Marcus O’Henry, you are under arrest for a variety of crimes ranging from attempted murder to trafficking in forbidden magic. Your Miranda rights will be read to you before interrogation, I assure you,” Alex said as he dropped a pair of silver handcuffs on the floor in front of him. “Do not attempt to resist.”

  “You can’t arrest me!” Marcus said, staring at them as he sweated from the close proximity of the pseudo-flaming sword in front of him. “I am the leader of all werewolves!”

  “A title not recognized by the US government or most of the other werewolf clans in the country,” I said, pulling out my cellphone. “By the way, this is much better than a wire for recording conversations. What are you, a Bond villain?”

  Alice O’Henry, Clara, and Christopher O’Henry were at the door behind the FBI. I also saw Emma hanging behind them, staring down at the figure before them.

  “Kill these idiots!” Marcus shouted.

  Alice looked down at her father. “I suggest you refrain from those kind of threats now, Father. It won’t be possible to extirpate you from this problem. They have some very special witnesses against you.”

  My mom, Lucien, and others. Lucien had turned over everything he’d accumulated on the O’Henrys after a lengthy shouting match with his brother about going to Pinehold to kill Marcus. The only reason he’d chosen not to, it turned out, was that the other witnesses were their own kind of vengeance. My dad wasn’t happy with my mother being “forced” to testify, but it was the first step in her winning back enough of my trust that I’d ever speak to her again. I knew Jeremy and Jeanine weren’t returning her calls either. Strange how isolating being a mass murderer and evil sorceress could be.

  “I have immunity,” Marcus said, looking between them. “All supernaturals do for the crimes of the past.”

  “Not for trying to kill fourteen-year-old Lucien after the purge of the Dragon Clan or for any of the other crimes you’ve committed since,” Alex said. “Your family has been willing to cooperate
with me in exchange for leaving their assets untouched and their own immunity to prosecution. That includes several federal crimes.”

  “You’ll never make it stick.”

  Alex shook his head. “The federal government is considering creating more legal protection zones than New Detroit and other vampire cities. Bright Falls is earmarked for being one for shapeshifters and the removal of you will expedite that process. Both sides want you taken down. The people who view you as an enemy of their agenda and the people to whom you are now an embarrassment.”

  That had been the reason Alex had stayed behind in Bright Falls and talked with Victoria’s father. The others too. A gift for his brother. I was glad I could be a part of it.

  Even if just in a small way.

  “A reservation, you mean.” Marcus spat on the ground at Alex’s feet. “I will burn this family to the ground before I let it be taken from me. Do you think any of you are without sin? I can get them to throw out any deal with you. They want us all dead.”

  “Perhaps,” Alice said, her voice icy cold. “However, you have neglected your business too much. I have made many contacts with the Brotherhood of Fenris and other gangs that have members imprisoned in South Dakota’s so-called Super-Pen. People you were unwilling to sully yourself by dealing with. Many have family on the outside. Husbands, wives, and children that could be well taken care of, should their loved ones do me a favor. Your stay in prison can be comfortable, Father, or it can be short.”

  Marcus growled at her. “You wouldn’t dare.”

  Then he looked down, now looking uncertain.

  “I remember the beatings and worse.” Alice’s eyes narrowed. A lifetime of pain, shame, and regret echoing through her next words. “I am the Alpha wolf now.”

  The Old Wolf turned to Alex. “Did you hear that? She threatened me.

  “I didn’t hear anything,” Alex said, looking to his associates. “Did you hear anything?”

  “Hmm?” I said. “I turned off my cellphone’s recording a while back.”

  Marcus, very reluctantly, put on the handcuffs then visibly deflated. That allowed the other FBI agents to examine him before leading him out of the room. The way Christopher and Clara watched him go, I couldn’t help but think they were every bit as happy to see him arrested as I was.

  “You can put away your lightsaber now,” Alice said, going to a nearby bookshelf and pulling a bottle of bourbon out from a hidden compartment within.

  “Flaming sword,” Alex said, disigniting his wand and putting it back into his interior jacket pocket. “Completely different.”

  I smirked. “Come on, it even hums.”

  “I won’t mess with Disney’s copyright lawyers,” Alex said cheerfully. His expression turned serious. “I appreciate everyone’s cooperation in this.”

  Alice poured herself a drink in one of her father’s glasses. “Don’t congratulate yourself too much, G-man. The only reason you’re leaving this place alive is because we owe you for avenging Victoria as well as ending the family curse. That applies to you, too, Jane.”

  I now regretted turning off my cellphone’s recording. “How nice of you.”

  Alex didn’t respond.

  Alice took a drink of bourbon. “Getting rid of Father is also convenient, since ingesting vampire blood meant he could have been around for another fifty to sixty years. I’m not going to wait that long to be the first ruler of all shapeshifters. Don’t think for a second I’ve forgotten that you’re the enemy.”

  “I am only an enemy to those who hurt others,” Alex said softly. “You might take this as an opportunity to reevaluate the legacy you’re leaving for your family.”

  Alice snorted. “You’re part of the federal government. The only thing keeping them from herding us all to our deaths, no deer puns intended, is money and fear. Secrecy was our best ally against the humans and eventually that’s not going to be an option. Then the world will be divided up along species lines.”

  “I hope you’re wrong,” Alex said, looking at the others. “Do you believe this.”

  “No,” Clara said. “I’m glad you did what you did. I owe you my life.”

  Alice shot her sister a nasty glare, apparently having expected family unity on this point.

  “I don’t care,” Christopher said, taking Alice’s bourbon away from her and taking his own drink. He was a handsome man who looked like an older version of Brad, which was kind of weird since they didn’t have a close blood relationship. “My father’s greed took away the one thing that mattered in my life.”

  “You have other children, Chris,” Alice said, looking sympathetic to her brother.

  “Do I?” Chris said, walking past Emma.

  Emma looked devastated.

  “So I guess this means I’m fired?” I said, looking over at Alice.

  “No,” Emma answered for her. “With Marcus gone, I have part of the hotel too. You can be the house detective.”

  I snorted.

  “Tour guide?” Emma suggested.

  Alice gave both me and Alex a withering look. “Stay out of O’Henry business, both of you. All the senators my grandfather owned are owned by me now and I have a lot of information on Washington’s finest. I also have connections with the vampires. Ones my father stupidly let atrophy. Someday you will be taking orders from me and we can end this farce.”

  Alice O’Henry turned around, leaving only Clara and Emma. Clara looked like she hadn’t slept in a week, and I couldn’t blame her. I bet she would have nightmares about this event for the rest of her life. Still, seeing the way she had her arm wrapped around Emma, I couldn’t help but think she was one of the good O’Henrys. That was relieving because it was clear Emma wasn’t getting much support from her actual parents.

  “She has got a bug up her ass about humans,” I said, saying what everyone else was thinking. I looked at Alex. “Can’t you arrest her for threatening a federal officer?”

  “Not without damaging the case against Marcus,” Alex said. “She’s also right that the government isn’t a friend of supernaturals. Yet. As bad as I think the criminal activity of the O’Henry family may be, I think it may be the lesser of two evils than shutting it down completely.”

  “Do you believe that?” I asked.

  “No,” Alex said softly. “However, it’ll keep my brother out of trouble too. He and Alice are already talking about ways to pool their resources in making Bright Falls the Reno to New Detroit’s Las Vegas. If other people come after them, though, I won’t protect them. Lucien has made his choice.”

  I was disappointed by that but not surprised. “So we’ve solved the mystery and unmasked the Big Bad. What now?”

  Alex smiled and clasped his hands together. “Cherry pie and coffee, anyone?”

  Jane Doe Will Return in:

  AN AMERICAN WEREDEER IN MICHIGAN

  Book Three of The United States of Monsters Series