by P. Jameson
Cael slowed, easing his grip on her neck and eventually releasing her from his bite. She watched with glazed eyes in the mirror as he stared at the mark in wonder. Gently, he licked it, kissed it, as if it was a newfound treasure.
For her, it was. But what would he think now? What about vengeance?
He breathed deep. “There is only me now,” he said with satisfaction.
Besh went limp with relief. She was so tired. It was difficult to remain standing.
“Thank you,” she breathed through sobs she hadn’t even realized were there. “Thank you, Cael.”
Gingerly, he slid out of her. “You need to rest now.”
Besh didn’t resist as he lifted her into his arms and carried her out of the bathroom.
Chapter Six
It was warm. Entirely too warm in the bed.
Besh awoke to find enough blankets to smother a horse piled on top of her. She kicked off the first few layers welcoming the cooler air that filtered in.
She took stock of her surroundings, noting she slept in a king size bed. The room was darkened, but she could make out the simple setting. Abstract art hung on one wall, a dresser in the corner, and dual bedside tables. Off to the side was a door that must lead to another bathroom. A glance at the bedside clock told her she’d slept the entire day away.
She relaxed, remembering she was safe. Well, sort of. She was at the mercy of Cael, but that didn’t scare her like it had with Jax.
Jax.
Tears pricked her eyes when she realized this was the first time since giving in to him, that she’d awoken without his scent taunting her. Every new morning had made her stomach roll, but she’d gotten used to it. Adapted. Otherwise how could she have lived?
Now, it was gone. What a relief.
She sat up, listening. She could hear Cael breathing and guessed he was in the living room. Stretching, she took in the aches with gratitude. Her shoulder was sore, but not bad. Her feet were blistered, but healing. Between her legs…
He’d been so gentle. Unexpectedly so. To be taken by an alpha and not be sore the next day was something she’d never thought possible.
Besh reached up to finger the mark on her neck. It was huge, bigger than the first one as he’d needed to rip through Jax’s. It would likely leave a bigger scar which was Cael’s intention, to be sure. It hurt. But she’d never been more thankful for pain in her life.
Rising, she pulled one of the blankets with her, wrapping it around to cover her body, and went into the living area. Cael sat on the couch, staring into the fire, running his thumb over his bottom lip. He was so deep in thought, he didn’t look up when she entered the room. Or maybe he was simply ignoring her.
She couldn’t blame him. Where did they go from here?
The glow of the fire danced off his profile, enhancing the harsh set of his jaw. His hair, short on the sides and long on top—the way most alphas wore it—looked less golden and more bronze from the flame. He was beautiful. He always had been, but now, with the weight of life sitting on his shoulders, and the way he still handled it with honor… he took her breath away.
She sat in the oversized chair close to the fire. He still didn’t acknowledge her.
Minutes ticked by until Besh lost count, but no words were spoken between them.
The rumble of her stomach finally brought his head around. He stared at her, his eyes roaming the length of her bundled up body. Then he stood and went to the kitchen. He returned with a jar of peanut butter. A spoon was sticking out of the top.
“I’d like you to eat,” he said gruffly.
Besh nodded, taking the jar while he went back to the couch. She spooned a bite, and her eyes drooped closed when she tasted it. Peanut butter. God, when was the last time she’d had peanut butter? It was delicious. A steak from a five-star restaurant couldn’t have tasted better.
She’d devoured half of the jar before she realized Cael was staring at her.
“If I’d known you were so hungry, I would’ve woken you so you could eat.”
“It’s okay.”
He was quiet while she ate more.
“Did he keep food from you?”
Her stomach soured. That fast, she felt nauseous. She put the spoon back in the jar, cradling the whole thing close to her chest. “Sometimes.”
Anger flashed in his eyes before he looked away. “I’m going to kill your brother.”
“What?” Besh almost dropped the peanut butter at his furious words. “No, you can’t do that.”
His glare was harsh. “He deserves to die for letting you suffer like that. He should have escaped and taken you with him. Or gone to the elders with evidence. Or hell, killed Jax earlier. Any of that would have been acceptable. But letting this go on for so many years? No.”
She shook her head sadly. “He did what he could. And he didn’t know all that was going on. I don’t think… I don’t think he knew just how cruel Jax was until Trager brought his mate to the camp. I never let him see the depth of it.”
“Why?” he growled. “Why did you protect Jax? After everything he did to you, to us?”
Besh’s head snapped back. “Is that what you think? That I was protecting him?”
Cael’s breath chuffed like an enraged bull’s. And that was fine because she was angry too. How could he think she cared at all about Jax?
“It was never him I was protecting all those years.”
Besh set the jar aside. She needed out of there. She couldn’t be here with him now.
Retreating to the bedroom, she heard Cael call, “What the hell does that mean?” but she couldn’t answer. She needed clothes and shoes. She’d find a way to repay Cael’s friend later. In the dresser she found a sweatshirt and pulled it on. The jeans in the closet were a couple sizes too big, and too short but they’d work for now. The hiking boots fit perfectly.
She turned to find Cael watching her. He seemed much calmer, staring through guarded eyes. “If not Jax, then who?”
Besh shook her head, frustrated. “I don’t think you would understand.”
“Try me.”
“No.” It felt good to say the word and have it stand. Instead of muttering it as a hopeless plea. A string of letters that wouldn’t actually stop anything.
She pushed past Cael, heading for the front door.
“Where do you think you’re going?”
“I don’t know. Don’t care. But I’m leaving.”
“Isabesh, be reasonable. You can’t leave.”
She turned to scour him with her glare. “Watch me.”
Moving the chair from under the handle, she unlocked the door. But as soon as she’d opened it a smidge, Cael’s massive hand landed on the wood, slamming it shut again.
“You will not walk out this door,” he roared. A command. From her alpha. Her wolf ducked her head to submit, but Besh would have no part of it.
“What, are you going to hold me captive as well? Will I never be free?” she screamed.
His face deflated, taking every ounce of dominance and replacing it with sadness. “That’s not fair, Isa.”
Her lip trembled. “I-I know.” She shook her head, her throat thick with regret. Would the feeling ever go away? “I’m sorry.”
“If you want to leave, we’ll leave. If it’s me you want away from, then I’ll wait outside until you go to bed. But you can’t go now, by yourself.”
“I’m not weak,” she argued. “My animal will protect me. And… my heat is gone.”
Cael stepped closer. “I know.” His voice was soft, careful. “That’s why you can’t be alone right now. You carry my young inside you.”
Her heart thundered in her chest. Was he right? Her mouth opened but nothing came out. Her hand rushed to hold her stomach. Was it true? Her wolf was so satisfied. The animal didn’t want for anything. It… it must be true.
“I can sense it. Faintly. You’ll probably know for sure by morning. But… it’s there. My young.”
He reached forward as if t
o place his hand over hers on her belly, but stopped short. She grabbed it and put it flat against her. His thumb swept back and forth over the place their young would grow. She could hardly believe this was happening. Yes, she knew her heat would make it possible, but she could never actually picture it.
“Are you sure?” she whispered. “Are you absolutely sure?”
Cael nodded. “You okay with it?”
Besh felt dizzy. Her mind swirled with impossibilities and what-ifs. “I need to sit down.”
She stepped around him, landing on the couch with a huff. Wow. In nine months, she was going to be a mother. She stared into the fire, watching the embers crackle and wondered if the next thirty or so years of her life would turn out better than the first. For the sake of her young, she hoped so.
***
“I was protecting the ones I loved.”
Cael stiffened at Isabesh’s quiet words. She hadn’t looked away from the fire since he’d told her about the life growing within her.
“Vesh. The pack. You.” She sighed. “If I could hide it well enough, no one would get hurt. Or, at least that was the agreement until Jax decided he wanted more.”
He wanted to demand that she explain, but pushing her wasn’t going to work. As much as he hated it, he’d have to wait for her to make the move.
After marking her, he’d wanted to lie in bed holding her. Wanted to sleep with her, and wake with her, make love with her just like any normal mates would do. But nothing about their union was normal. He knew that. So, he’d taken the couch instead.
What she needed was a distraction. In the dark of night, locked in the tiny cabin, there weren’t many options. There was a TV but no satellite or internet. He decided to dig around to see if he could locate some DVD’s but before he could, she turned to stare at him.
“Do you think he’s really dead? Do you think Vesh could kill him?”
Cael nodded. “I do. His bond with the alpha is completely broken. He swore allegiance to Ravendale after he mated Braeh. Besides, Avan wants the pack. That means the alpha has to die.”
“To you, you mean. He swore allegiance to you.”
Cael shook his head. “To the pack. I don’t do things like Jax. Pack comes first, and it’s my job to see that they’re taken care of.”
“What’s she like? His mate? Is she good for him?”
“Very.” Cael shifted, relaxing against the back of the couch. “She’s got the smartest mouth you’ve ever heard. She puts him in his place a lot.”
The ghost of a smile touched her lips. “But is she kind? Will she accept what has happened to him?”
Cael knew what she was asking. “She’s got a big heart. I think you’ll like her very much. You’ll meet her soon.”
Isabesh focused on the fire again. Several minutes of silence passed before she released a huge sigh.
“I went to the alpha because I was afraid he’d kill Vesh if I didn’t.” She wrung her hands, and Cael knew this was going to be it. The moment of reckoning for them both.
“I didn’t want to hurt you,” she whispered. “I just wanted my brother safe. I thought if I went to Jax and explained to him that I was already ruined, if I told him of my past, and that I’d found you. And that you would take me away so no one ever discovered the truth. I thought…” She let out a sad humorless laugh. “I thought he’d let me go. I figured I’d be back with you by sunset. How could the alpha of the largest wolf pack mate a female who was a whore? He’d never stand for it, that’s what I thought.”
Cael’s heart boomed in his chest, in his ears. His hands itched to touch her, to offer comfort or support. For himself as much as for her.
“But I severely underestimated his wrath. He…” She shook her head. “He was furious with me. With us. For embarrassing him. He already knew what my mother had done to me and Vesh. He hadn’t even minded. Said as long as he was my last, he could live with my ‘transgressions’. Transgressions, he called them. As if I’d had a choice in the matter.”
Her hands shook as she brushed the hair back from her face. Cael’s wolf pawed at him, desperately wanting to help. Nuzzle. Protect. Take the pain away. But all he could do was hear her out.
Isabesh met his gaze with tear-rimmed eyes. “I realized my mistake. Right away, and I tried to leave. I didn’t think he could keep me there. Legally, you know, he couldn’t. I could deny him, and that’s what I would have done. I was coming back to you. Even though I knew he’d hunt us. I knew it was dangerous and I didn’t care because—” A sob escaped, cutting off her words, but Cael was frozen, unable to move. “Because you were the only person who’d ever really loved me. Despite everything, you loved me, and no one would keep me from you.”
Move, damn it. Move. Take her into your arms. But something, some gut instinct, told him to wait.
Isabesh let out a shattered sigh. “But then… the alpha offered me a deal. One I couldn’t refuse. He got wind that you were asking the elders for a forum. Of course they would have questioned me about mating Jax, and he was desperate not to be humiliated further. He promised me he’d let you live, and Vesh too, if I called you out in front of the pack.” Her gaze pleaded with him. “Please understand, I needed you two safe more than I needed to be happy. But there was one more thing Jax agreed to that sealed the deal. He… he swore to never take me during my heat. Not until my final heat, that way he could still have an heir. I agreed, hoping he’d die before my last heat came. I… I guess I got my wish.”
Cael stared at Isabesh wide-eyed. She’d made a deal for his safety? She’d committed herself to Jax’s abuse for his safety? So he’d lived. Without her. Broken and half a fucking man. He would’ve rather died fighting for her. She had no right, no fucking right, to make that choice for them.
He bolted to his feet, but couldn’t figure out where to go.
“Cael?”
He turned his broken gaze to her. “Isa, how could you?” he breathed. His chest felt like it was being crushed in a vice grip.
She stood too, meeting him eye to eye. “How could I not?”
“All those years, Isa…”
Tears streamed down her cheeks, but she tilted her chin up stubbornly. “All those years you were safe and healthy and alive. I knew you wouldn’t understand.”
The back of Cael’s neck turned hot. He needed to shift. There was too much fury contained in his human body.
“Do you know what that did to me?”
“Yes! I know what that did to you,” she cried. “Did I ever, even one time look away during that forum? No. I watched your face, every feature. I saw the heartbreak. The betrayal. And I wished, wished, with everything in me that you would see I was lying. That you would just move on, knowing in your heart that I didn’t mean those awful things I said.”
Silence stretched between them like a thick sludge. Despite the avalanche of emotions piling on top of them, no words came. Just the breathing of lungs and the rapid beating of hearts and enough pain to fill an ocean. Would they ever be able to get this right?
“Please,” she whispered. “Say something.”
Cael shook his head. “I can’t think. I…” He glanced at the door. “I need to run.”
“Don’t go.”
“I need to think, and I can’t do that when I’m near you. Just… I’ll stay close.”
He was out the door before she could argue, the night air hitting him like a much needed punch. He and his wolf had some reckoning to do.
Chapter Seven
Besh hung her head, letting the tears fall where they may. She was so damn tired of crying. It was all she’d done for the past twenty-four hours. And even though Cael had taken her explanation badly, it felt good to get it all off her chest. Every minute she was away from Jax, another weight was lifted. Having everything out in the open was the biggest relief.
She dried her tears on the sleeve of her sweatshirt. He’d be back soon, and maybe they could talk more. Maybe he’d hear what she was really saying. Didn’t he unders
tand that her choices were done for love? He’d have done the same to save her.
Besh busied herself by picking up the place. She put the peanut butter away and washed the spoon. She straightened the bedroom, returning the hiking boots to the closet. Then she returned to the living room to wait for Cael.
The fire was hypnotizing but it was her only source of company. She added another log before curling on the couch with a blanket. She closed her eyes for only a second, but it was enough to throw her into a nightmare.
Vesh cried from the corner while mother screamed. She threw a shoe at him, but missed. She made sure the second one made contact before turning her attention back to Besh.
“You’re disgusting,” she spat. “You have no reason to turn your nose up to him. You’re not better than him. He’s an elder and a good paying customer, you lazy excuse for a whore! You’ll do this, or I’ll make sure the whole pack knows what you are. Do you think any boy will desire you after the entire camp knows you fuck people for money?”
“You make me!” Besh cried, her chest burning with rage and humiliation. She tried not to look at her brother. She didn’t want to see how scared he was.
The back of mother’s hand smacked Besh’s face, sending her sprawling and her cheek bursting with a shot of pain.
Vesh’s small growl filled the room as he lunged at mother, but she grabbed him by the neck, forcing him to the ground. “Maybe he’d rather have you,” mother snarled. “Shall we see?”
“No,” Besh argued. “I’ll go. I’ll do it.” Vesh was still so young. She’d do anything to spare him this hell.
An evil grin spread mother’s face until she looked like a demon clown. “Too late, darling. Your brother will take your place. I’m sure our customer won’t mind. He might even prefer it. It’s time for Vesh to earn his way.”
Vesh shook his head. “No. No, mother, please.”
She faltered, seeming to reconsider. “Your sister then? It’s your choice. Time for you to be a man and make a decision.”
