Fast Forward

by Juliet Madison

  “It hasn’t been a lie. Our relationship, the times we shared, Kasey, they were real. Nothing’s changed.”

  “Are you kidding? Everything’s changed! My mother’s dead and my real father might as well be since I haven’t even met him.”

  “Look, we can talk about the possibility of finding him sometime, if that’s what you want, but for now, we need to talk about us.” Dad pulled her hand back onto the table. “Kase, I was angry at your mother too, maybe I still am a little bit, but more for hurting you than me. I’m still the father you’ve always known, even though we have different DNA.”

  “It just feels weird, you know? I feel like the odd one out, not that that’s new to me, but this confirms it. I’m not a Crawford.”

  “In my eyes you are,” Dad said, as my head swivelled right and left from my father to my sister as their conversation continued. Dad lowered his head. “That is, if you still want me in your life? The way you reacted I thought … maybe you didn’t want anything to do with me anymore.”

  “What? Of course I do, I mean, I just need some time to process everything and … hang on—you thought I wouldn’t want anything to do with you?”

  Dad shrugged.

  “But I thought the opposite. I thought you wouldn’t want to continue this paternal facade now that the truth was exposed. I thought you’d be glad to see the back of the daughter who will always remind you of your wife’s infidelity.” Kasey swiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

  “Kasey, no. I may not be your biological father, but I raised you. Even though we don’t share genes, I’m one hundred percent sure you’ve carried on my propensity for hard work, for persisting with something until you’re satisfied, for never giving up. When I see you the only thing I’m reminded of is the amazing young woman you’ve become, nothing else. As far as I’m concerned, you’ll always be my daughter.” Dad’s voice faltered on the last word and he cleared his throat.

  Kasey’s bottom lip trembled. “I don’t want to lose you, Dad. I still want you to be my father.” Her eyes pleaded and my own bottom lip trembled too, as Dad shuffled his chair closer to Kasey and enveloped her in his arms.

  “I’ll always be here. I’ll always be your father,” he said, stroking her hair as her head rested on his chest. “Let’s make that a given, huh? I’m sure there’ll be more emotions to deal with, but as they come up, we’ll deal with them together, okay?”

  Kasey nodded, more tears flowing down her face, until eventually she sat up again and wiped her eyes with the tissue I handed her. “I’m sorry, Kelli, it’s supposed to be a happy day for you and here we are crying,” Kasey said.

  “Oh, it is a happy day, Sis, it really is,” I replied, a smile widening on my face. “This is the best birthday present I could have received. Well, besides the vase, Dad.” I winked.

  Dad smiled and Kasey said, “Oh, I didn’t have your birthday present with me, but I’ll bring it tonight. You really want to have a party on the beach instead?” she asked.

  “Yep. Oh, and could you bring some wood and branches from your backyard, I want to make a small campfire.”

  Kasey’s eyes brightened. She practically lived outdoors when she wasn’t holed up in the university laboratory or lecture halls. “Consider it done. I’ll bring some newspaper for kindling too, and matches. Hey, do you want me to drive us both there?”

  “That’d be great, thanks.”

  “So anyway, what’s new with you, sweetheart?” Dad asked.

  Actually, I just returned from the future where I was married with grown children and ran a successful company and didn’t look one bit like a model anymore.

  “What’s new? Oh, not much … except that, I’m going to get back into my creative pursuits. Start drawing and designing again.”

  Dad sat up straight in his seat. “Really? I’m so glad to hear that, you always had a knack for all things artistic. It was such as shame to let your talent go to waste after—”

  “After Mum literally ripped my confidence to shreds?” I interjected. “It’s okay, I’ve forgiven her now. I know she didn’t mean to hurt me. I’m really excited about what I could do with my skills. I’m actually planning on setting up a business eventually, once I’ve worked on a decent portfolio and done a course or two.”

  Dad’s face beamed. “If you need to run anything by me, I’m here. I’d like nothing more than to see you follow your dreams.”

  “Thanks, Dad.”

  “And hey, maybe you and I could go into business together, huh?” Kasey laughed. “Although I’d have to be a silent partner because unless you’re designing lab equipment, I’d be hopeless.” She winked, not knowing she’d be playing a very important role in the realisation of my dream.

  “Who knows? You never know what might happen around the corner.” I winked back and noticed Dad staring at his hands. “What’s wrong, Dad?”

  He flicked his hand in the air. “Ah, nothing. It’s just … I wish I’d been able to help your mother more. I should have got more help for her. If only she hadn’t shot you down like that. I’ll never forget your face after that dreadful day.”

  I held my palms in front of Dad. “Stop, Dad. Don’t go there. You did everything you could, it wasn’t your fault.”

  “But if I’d taken her to a different psychiatrist, got a second opinion, maybe she would have had a better chance.”

  “No, Dad, you can’t waste time or energy wondering what might have been, you can only change what’s in front of you right now. You did your best and Mum made her own choices in life. Her happiness wasn’t your responsibility.” I grasped his arm with my hand and he brought his other hand up and patted mine.

  “You’re right.” He nodded. “What’s important is what we choose to do now.”

  “Dad, promise me we’ll never let life get in the way of our family? Promise me you’ll never go away, that you’ll always stay close?”

  “I promise. I’m not going anywhere,” he replied, his eyes unblinking and fixed on mine.

  Only the future would tell me if that was true and although he would eventually leave us of course, at the end of his life, I hoped and wished that that day would not come for a very, very long time.

  After wandering around admiring the delights of the city, basking in the pleasure of not needing to be anywhere right now and just walking where my feet took me, I remembered something. I dashed back to my apartment, flipped open my laptop and typed FastForwardExperiences.com into my web browser.

  Internet Explorer cannot display the webpage. Damn. It didn’t exist yet. Oh, I wanted to submit my experience! Unless … I searched for domain name registration and then typed the web address into the ‘search for a domain’ field. This domain is available! Click here to register this domain.

  So, the person who made the website in the future hadn’t registered it yet. I should just wait and check on it every now and again. Unless … What if it’s meant to be me? What if I was the one who was supposed to have made the website?

  Tentatively I clicked on the registration link. I’d never registered a website domain before, I didn’t even know how it all worked, or how to make a website, but heaps of people had them so it couldn’t be that hard, could it?

  But what if someone else was destined to make the website and me registering it would stuff things up for them somehow? I thought about the experiences I’d read on the site, especially the one about Polly who seemed permanently stuck in her fast forward, and a pang of sympathy ran through me. One way or another, this website needed to be born. If someone was to contact me down the track and say they had thought of creating this website, then I would simply let them take it over.

  Yes. That sounded like a plan. Okay, here we go. I typed in my details and gave up my credit card number, something I was quite used to doing and the website tried to get me to purchase other domains as well.

  Would you like to add the following to your order?

  fastforwardexperiences.net

  myfastf
orwardexperiences.com

  fastforwardexperiencesnetwork.com

  Um, no, thank you very much. One would be enough and I wasn’t just talking about websites. As valuable and life-changing an experience it was, I couldn’t bear to go through another shock like that. I just wanted to get on with living my life and creating the future that was right for me.

  A minute or two later I was the proud owner of a domain name. As for the website itself, I’d figure that out later, at least for now I’d got the ball rolling.

  Oh damn! While I was in the future why didn’t I think to check on Foogle for other important things that had occurred between my twenty-fifth and fiftieth birthdays? Like, winning lotto numbers, fashion trends, Oscar winners—apart from Selena—and whether anyone else had been to the moon. Maybe there was a hotel on the moon. Or a prison. Oh, I can’t believe I didn’t check! Oh well, too late now.

  I went to close the laptop but hesitated. There was one more thing I wanted to do. I opened Facebook and searched for a profile. As expected, there was only one William McSnelly. I clicked on his profile and giggled at his picture. I’d become used to seeing him as a fifty-year-old man yet here he was, a twenty-five-year-old with a soft, sexy smile on his face, gentle eyes, cropped brown hair—much better than the wavy disaster he’d had in high school—and a simple blue shirt. Unassuming, but from what I’d discovered, completely, totally and utterly irresistible.

  I hovered the cursor over ‘add friend’, then moved it away. This wasn’t the way to go about reconnecting with him. I knew exactly how I would do it, but today was about my birthday, my friends and my family. Will could wait a little longer. I was saving the best for last.

  “Right, I’ve got the wood, newspaper and matches for the campfire, anything else we need?”

  “Hello to you too, Kasey.” I chuckled as I opened the door of my apartment to my sister.

  “Oops, sorry. Hi, and happy birthday … again. Now, what about a picnic rug?”

  “Oh yes, hang on.” I dashed to the linen cupboard and withdrew my non-tartan rug, which I had to order online. Did you know how difficult it was to find a non-tartan picnic rug?

  “Okay, let’s go,” I said.

  “Wait, let me give you your birthday present now.” Kasey smiled as she handed me the large slim package she had tucked under her arm.

  “Okay, thanks! Here, let’s swap.” I handed her the picnic rug and accepted the gift. I placed the package on the dining table and tore off the paper, realising how cool it was that I’d got to experience two birthdays. Shame I wasn’t able to bring back the gifts I’d received from the future, I’d have to wait another twenty five years to get my hands on that magical vacuum cleaner!

  “Oh Kasey,” I said, eyeing the artist’s quality sketch book, drawing pencils, empty portfolio and a selection of inspiring home magazines. “This is perfect.” A shimmer of anticipation rose up inside and appreciation for my sister who knew what mattered to me. “Thank you so much, I can’t wait to get started with all this!”

  “And I can’t wait to see what you come up with.”

  “Thanks,” I said again, wrapping my arms around her and pecking her cheek.

  “So, let’s get this party started!”

  Fifteen minutes later, we were spreading out the picnic rug by Kasey’s awesome campfire on North Beach. I looked up to find Selena approaching and flung my arms around her.

  “It’s so good to see you!” I almost apologised for missing her call yesterday during the meeting but bit my tongue.

  She smiled curiously. “I only saw you last night, but I’ll accept your compliment anyway.” She greeted Kasey then handed me a small gift.

  I un-wrapped it and held the garnet teardrop earrings up to my ears. “They’re beautiful,” I exclaimed. “Thanks Selena, I’ll put them on now.” I took my silver hoops off and replaced them with my new earrings. Selena snapped a photo with her phone while I flashed my best model pose.

  Then Selena sidled up close to me. “So, when’s Grant getting here, are you ready for his proposal?” She nudged me in the ribs.

  “Ah, actually, he’s not coming.”

  “What?” Selena and Kasey said in unison.

  “We broke up.”

  “What?” they said again, mouths gaping.

  “Are you okay? What happened?” Selena asked.

  “I’m fine, it was my decision. It’s a long story, but it’s for the best,” I replied.

  “But I thought he was going to propose. Did he propose?” Selena asked.

  “No, he didn’t. When you saw him walk out of DSJ, it was because he’d bought me a bracelet. It was beautiful, but I gave it back to him.”

  “Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I was sure he must have bought an engagement ring!” Selena covered her mouth.

  “It doesn’t matter, I would have assumed the same.”

  “How did he react?” Kasey asked.

  “Well, things got a little heated, but to be honest, I think he was more upset by my decision to change career than my decision to end the relationship.”

  “What? What’s happened to your modelling contract?” I thought I might have to call an ambulance for Selena soon if she didn’t stop gasping.

  “I’ve still got it, but I’m going to start working on a design business. Homewares that bring more beauty to people’s living environments.”

  “Really? I didn’t know you worked on art in your spare time.”

  “I don’t. Well, I used to, years ago and it’s time I got back into it,” I said.

  “Oh Kel, so much is changing, are you sure everything’s alright?” Selena asked.

  I nodded. “Absolutely.”

  “Then in that case, promise me you’ll design some kind of multi-purpose jewellery holder that attaches to the wall so I can free up space in my bedroom?”

  “What a great idea!” I got out my phone.

  ‘What are you doing?” she asked.

  “Adding it to my ideas list. I already have an idea for an automatic decorative tissue dispenser.”

  Kasey and Selena laughed and agreed to test the prototype once it was manufactured.

  I threw another stick on the fire and noticed Kasey gulping as she looked behind me. I turned to see Max Sheldon walking towards us, his loose white shirt hanging half out of his jeans and unbuttoned at the top revealing chiselled pecs. He was gorgeous, but funnily enough, we’d never had any spark between us. I saw him as a friend, or a brother and in the future, no doubt he’d become my brother-in-law. I held back a knowing chuckle at Kasey’s nerves. If only she knew.

  “Max is here, oh my God,” she whispered, wringing her hands and clearing her throat.

  “Happy birthday, beautiful,” he said, kissing both of my cheeks and handing me a huge bunch of exotic flowers, along with a bottle of Moėt.

  “Thanks Max, the flowers are gorgeous and I’m sure we can make use of this.” I held up the bottle and winked.

  He smiled, but his eyes held an edge of sadness. “I don’t think we’ve officially met. You’re Kelli’s sister?” He held out a hand to Kasey.

  “I’m Kasey. Nice to meet you, Max,” she replied, shaking his hand and offering her best smile. I could practically hear her heart pounding in her chest and worried it might leap right out and knock Max to the ground.

  Max kissed both of Kasey’s cheeks, then did the same to Selena, but his usual charming demeanour seemed subdued as his eyes kept falling to the ground.

  “Are you alright, Max?” Selena had noticed too. Kasey hadn’t, she was still beaming from her face having made contact with an underwear model’s lips.

  “Yeah, fine. It’s nothing.” He shooed a hand towards us.

  “It must be something,” I said.

  “Ah, don’t worry. It’s your birthday, time to celebrate.” He rubbed his hands together and glanced around.

  Okay, now I was worried. Max had never shown any emotion except happiness and complete confidence, but his eyes lacked their usual sp
arkle and his body appeared tense with apprehension. “Max, it’s okay, if something’s on your mind, you can share it with us.”

  He wandered over to the campfire and warmed his hands, then sat down on the picnic rug which Kasey had ensured was close enough to the fire but not too close as to be a fire hazard. Sensing an important revelation was imminent, I sat next to him as Selena and Kasey joined us.

  “I have to go to hospital on Monday,” he said. “I’ve been diagnosed with skin cancer. Melanoma.”

  Holy crap. Stunned faces stared at Max and he tossed a stray stick onto the fire.

  “Max, oh my God.” My hand covered my mouth, then rested on top of his forearm.

  “Do you need us to come with you?” Selena asked and Kasey nodded, her radiant glow replaced with fierce concern.

  “Thanks, but I’ll be fine. I’m having surgery and they’ll check if any of my lymph nodes are affected. Most likely I’ll need radiotherapy or chemotherapy, or both.” He ran a hand over his short hair. “Ah well, at least I won’t have much hair to lose, eh?” He attempted a laugh, but the mood remained sombre.

  “If you don’t mind my asking, where is the actual melanoma?” Kasey asked and I shot her a “Kasey!” glance.

  Max slipped off his left shoe and lifted his foot, exposing a small black lump on the underside, between his toes. “Can you believe it? Too much time lying on my back in the midday sun. Who thinks to put sunscreen on the soles of their feet, huh?”

  Gosh. I never did. But I’d start, even if it did make my shoes all squelchy.

  “It started to get itchy and that’s when I noticed it. I thought I had something stuck to my foot, but it wouldn’t come off, so I went to the doctor.”

  “Max, I’m so sorry. If there’s anything I can do…”

  “Thanks, Kel. I’ll take it one day at a time, but I’m sure I’ll be right.” He stared at the flickering fire. “I have to be.”

  “You will.” Kasey placed her hand on his other arm and he sent her a gentle smile.