Edge of Awareness

by C. A. Popovich

  “I wouldn’t mind at all.”

  *

  “Your mom and Poppy seem to be quite taken with each other. Have they known each other a long time? She said he was a friend of the family.”

  Dana pulled into a parking spot in the back of Amigos, shut off the engine, and turned to face her. “Poppy used to be an all-breed judge in the dog show circuit and did most of the best in show judging at the large dog shows. My father bred and showed springer spaniels, so they got to know each other. Mom and Dad would go out with Poppy and his late wife sometimes. They’ve recently reconnected after many years.”

  “That’s nice. They seem happy.” Maria’s tone was reflective. “Let’s go eat. I’m hungry.”

  “I read in one of our local small papers that this place might be sold.” Dana held the door open for Maria and didn’t resist resting her hand on her lower back as she passed through. “It has seemed run down lately. I hope the food will still be as good if someone else takes over.”

  “I’d hate to see it go. It’s getting to be our place.” Maria looked wistful.

  They sat down and Dana took Maria’s hands in her own. “Yeah. About that, our, us, and we. I want to apologize for my floundering last week. You took me by surprise coming to the school, and I guess I hadn’t processed my feelings completely yet.”

  “I told you I understood.”

  “No. I want to say something.” Dana sat back in her chair and looked out the window for a moment. “I think you are one of the bravest women I’ve ever met. It was hard for me at seventeen to realize I was different from my girlfriends. It was even harder when I finally told my mother that she’d never have a son-in-law. But I never had to try to fit into the accepted lifestyle. I can’t imagine how hard it would be to have lived as a heterosexual my whole life and then realize there might be something else, more natural for me, that could make me happier. Especially something you were taught was wrong. I don’t know where our relationship is headed, but I can’t think of anything I want more than to see you as much as possible.”

  Maria sat back but didn’t pull her hands away. “You’re right. I did jump to conclusions about it because of the church I was involved in. And yes, it’s scary for me. But you know what?”

  Dana squeezed her hands to show she was still listening.

  “It’s also exciting. I’ve already talked to my parents, and they just want me to be happy. And spending time with you makes me happy. I don’t care much about what people call it. I just know I think about you all the time. I don’t know where we’re headed either, but I do know that it feels right. Will you take the chance?”

  Maria was clearly tense as Dana considered the question. She deserved an honest answer. “Yes. I want to take the chance, because I think about you all the time too. You’re amazing. Because you’re just figuring things out and finding yourself now, is no reason for it not to be real. No one knows what the future brings, but if we don’t try, if we don’t see how we can be together, we’ll never know. I don’t want to give up that opportunity.”

  “So you want a date after all.” Maria raised an eyebrow and grinned.

  “I want more than that, but let’s start there.”

  Maria’s megawatt smile erased any lingering doubts for Dana, and she didn’t care that she probably looked like the Cheshire cat grinning back.

  “Have you thought about what you want to do for this date?” Dana asked.

  “Yeah. I have.” Maria’s eyes shimmered. “I want to go dancing.”

  Dana laughed. “Okay, dancing it is.” She looked at her watch. “We should head over to Poppy’s. They’re probably waiting for us.” Maria nodded. “Absolutely. But only if you’ll hold my hand on the way over.”

  Dana grasped her hand as they walked through the restaurant. “That’s not asking for much.” She kissed her before heading to the door.

  They arrived at Poppy’s, and Poppy answered her knock quickly. Her mother was nowhere in sight.

  “Come in you two. Did you have a nice lunch?” Poppy seemed distracted.

  “Yes. We did. We like the food at Amigos.”

  “Your mother’s upstairs. After we ate she wanted to see the progress I’d made on the rolltop desk we picked up.”

  “Yeah. She told me about it. It sounds like you got a good deal.”

  “I did, but…wait. I’ll show you.”

  They followed Poppy upstairs, and Dana was hyper aware of Maria following close behind her on the stairway. Dana just laughed when she saw her mother standing over the rolltop desk wearing an old worn apron, rubber gloves, and safety glasses. She was holding a huge piece of steel wool and looked ready to use it on the side of the desk. “Yep. That’s my mom.”

  “Oh, hi, you two. I was just showing Poppy how easy this can be if you use the right grade of steel wool.”

  “She seems to be showing me up when it comes to the art of fine furniture restoration.”

  “I’ll come back next week with some old clothes and we can finish this thing. It’s going to be a beautiful piece,” Dana’s mother said.

  Dana laughed and saw her mother glance down at their clasped hands. Now that she had hold of Maria, she didn’t want to let go. Her mother gave her a quick smile before going on about furniture restoration. Dana concentrated on Maria’s warm, soft hand firmly enfolding her own. She stepped closer to her and shivered at the heat generated by the nearness of their arms. Maria moved even closer and Dana pulled her hand to her lips.

  She dragged herself back to the moment after briefly lapsing into the fantasy of holding Maria while they danced, and kissing her until they were both dizzy, and Maria throwing her head back in passionate abandon. A date going dancing she could do. What might happen after the dance, she’d take one step at a time.

  Chapter Twenty-one

  Dana grabbed Maria’s hand as soon as they crossed the threshold of the Rainbow Lounge, and Maria automatically interlocked her fingers with Dana’s. Maria had been to bars before with her first husband, but this was very different. For one thing, there was no smoke. She liked that. She hadn’t known what to expect, but the music coming from the digital jukebox was loud enough to dance to, but not so loud you couldn’t carry on a reasonable conversation. Several female couples and a few male ones were holding each other close as they danced. She was anxious to give that a try. She loved to dance, but not one of her husbands had enjoyed dancing. Any weddings they went to she’d end up fast dancing with her girlfriends, and only slow danced with Justin’s father after he’d had several drinks. The other times she’d simply sat out the slow dances. She couldn’t wait to feel Dana’s body pressed against hers as they danced.

  “Would you like something to drink?” Dana asked.

  “What’re you having?”

  “I’m going to have a beer.”

  “Okay. I’d like a Lowenbrau.”

  “Lowenbrau? I’ll see if they have that.”

  “Wait. What kind are you having? Maybe I’ll try something different.”

  “I like Labatt. It’s a Canadian beer.”

  “Okay. I’ll have one of those.”

  Dana returned with their beers and she tried to relax. She picked up the frosted mug that Dana had set in front of her and lifted it to toast. Dana lifted hers in response, and she took a swig. It was lighter than the beer she’d had with Jaylin. Almost refreshing. There was less of the bitterness of the Lowenbrau.

  “This is good.”

  “Yeah. I like it. But—”

  “I know. Be careful. It’s alcohol and it sneaks up on you.” She smiled and relaxed a little more. “Can we dance now?”

  “Let’s.”

  Maria moved into Dana’s arms as if she’d been doing it forever. Their bodies molded perfectly, and she pulled Dana closer as they moved to the music. She thrilled at the feel of Dana’s body pressed up against hers, and her nipples tingled when their breasts touched.

  “You’re a good dancer.” Dana brushed her ear with her lips as
she whispered into it, and Maria’s knees went weak. She wrapped her arms tighter around Dana’s neck, and Dana’s grip tightened in support. She had no idea how long the dance lasted or if they were even still moving. She’d never known this feeling of contentment from holding another person. Someone switched the music to Lady Gaga’s “Born This Way,” and Dana moved a step away and began to dance to the heavy beat. Maria kept step with Dana, and their beers were warm by the time they returned to their table. They were breathing hard and laughing.

  “Whew. I haven’t danced so much…ever, actually.”

  “Me either. I’ll get us a couple of fresh beers and we can sit for a bit.” Dana brushed her fingers over Maria’s hand before she headed to the bar. Maria liked the physical attention Dana was giving her. She hadn’t realized how much she missed that. She recognized how much she’d been missing her whole life. Peter barely touched her except when he wanted sex and then it was a few kisses, boob squeezes, and away he went. If she thought about it, she’d always craved hugging and touching. Even as a child, she remembered her parents’ embrace as being one of her fondest feelings.

  “Here you go.” Dana set the icy mug in front of her and pulled her chair next to Maria’s. When Dana slid her arm around her and sipped her beer, Maria settled against Dana and watched the dancers.

  “This is nice.” Maria snuggled even closer, and Dana tightened her hold.

  “Yes. It is.” Dana kissed the side of Maria’s lips before turning her attention to the dancers. “I’m glad Leanne didn’t decide to show up today. She was here the last time I was here. She left in a huff when I turned down her advances. I think you were right. She’s got major problems.”

  “Boy, I’m glad she’s not here tonight too. She’d have a conniption if she saw your arm around me.”

  “Yeah. I think you’re right. You haven’t heard from her have you? No more notes or anything?”

  “No. Nothing at all. I’ll admit I’m nervous sometimes, but I only got that one letter.”

  “Good. I hope she’s forgotten about me, but she’s pretty infatuated. You ready for more dancing?”

  *

  It was close to midnight by the time Dana pulled into the parking lot of Maria’s building and walked her to her door.

  She turned and leaned her back against the door as Dana stepped close. Maria melted into the gentle pressure of Dana’s kiss. She’d wanted this all night, and the few quick kisses on the dance floor hadn’t been enough to satisfy the intensity of the craving.

  “Let’s go inside.” Dana’s breath crystallized against her lips in the cold night air.

  Maria unlocked the door to her shop and grabbed Dana’s hand to pull her inside. She tossed her keys on the counter by the door and shifted into Dana’s waiting arms. “I want more of those kisses,” she murmured against the exposed skin on Dana’s chest.

  “Me too.”

  Lost in Dana’s embrace, she almost didn’t feel the little doggy foot scratching her right calf.

  “Frankie. I have to take him out. He’s been inside all evening.” Maria tore herself away from the security of Dana’s arms and grabbed his leash.

  “I’ll go with you.”

  Maria couldn’t believe how long her little dog was taking to find just the right spot to pee. Maybe it was because she’d had such a small taste of Dana’s lips, or only a short time to listen to the moans that Dana didn’t realize she made. Maybe it was the darkening of her azure eyes when she leaned in for a kiss, but standing in the dark on a cold night waiting for him caused every muscle in her body to tense. Just as she was ready to haul him back inside and worry about cleaning up his mess in the morning, Dana stepped behind her and wrapped her arms around her waist.

  “Does this help?” Dana asked.

  “Oh, yes.” Maria leaned back against Dana’s warm body and caught her breath.

  She forgot all about her little dachshund as Dana slipped her hands under her fleece jacket and pulled her shirt out of her pants. Her hands were warm and soft on her belly.

  “Is this all right?” Dana gently nibbled Maria’s neck as she spoke.

  Maria whimpered. This was nothing like she’d expected. All her tension drained away and heaviness settled in low in her abdomen. Even in her nightly explorations and fantasies, it hadn’t felt this good. And it wasn’t even really intimate. Yet.

  “I’ll take your reaction to mean you’re okay.”

  “More than okay.” She couldn’t remember when anything felt more right. “I want more, but I don’t know what that, more, is.”

  “It’s okay, baby. We have time.”

  Maria pulled Frankie’s leash and grabbed Dana’s hand to hurry back to the building.

  *

  In Maria’s warm shop, they kicked off their shoes, and Dana hesitated. She didn’t want to rush her into anything she’d regret. She was comfortable kissing her, however, so that’s what she did. They were both breathless when Maria pulled away, and with a shy smile, took Dana’s hand, and led her into her bedroom.

  Dana gently pushed Maria back onto the bed but stopped when she tensed. She pulled Maria to her so her cheek rested on her stomach. She wanted her more than anyone she’d ever wanted in her life, but she respected her too much to lose control. Her clit buzzed with anticipation of her touch, but she tamped down her desire in order to concentrate on Maria.

  “You okay? Do you want me to stop?”

  “No. No. I just don’t know what to do. This feels so intense.”

  “You don’t have to do anything, baby. Just relax and we’ll hold each other.”

  Maria scooted up onto the bed and held her hand out for Dana. “Let’s lie down. I want to feel you next to me.”

  Dana snuggled into the comfort of Maria’s body. “You feel so good.” Dana pulled her close and slid her thigh between her legs. She slowly unbuttoned her shirt as she lost herself in the depths of her obsidian eyes. Maria sat up and slid her shirt off, and Dana reached to unclasp her bra. Before she exposed Maria’s breasts, she sat up and quickly took off her own shirt, removed her bra, and lay back down. With a feather light touch of her fingers, she brushed her nipples and caressed the soft skin of her breasts as she lifted Maria’s bra off.

  “Are you still okay with all this?” Dana worried Maria was scared, or worse, regretted getting this involved.

  “I’m so okay with this, I’m finding it hard to breathe” she said and pulled Dana closer.

  Maria imitated Dana’s light touch on her nipples, and Dana managed to suppress her groans to a whimper. She surprised Dana by pushing her onto her back, and when she leaned over so just the tips of their nipples touched each other, Dana didn’t even try to hold back. Those gorgeous breasts she’d been fantasizing about swung across her own, and she arched into them needing to feel more. She cupped one with both hands and brought the nipple to her lips where she sucked lightly and flicked her tongue. She watched in wonder as Maria cried out and pushed herself against Dana’s leg. When she shuddered and collapsed on top of her, Dana held her tightly and gently stroked her back.

  “Oh, sweetheart, I don’t know what to say. I’m a little embarrassed. This is all so amazing.”

  Dana softly kissed her forehead. “You don’t need to say anything. Just let me hold you.” Maria snuggled into her, and Dana knew in that moment she’d lost her heart, and she prayed it wouldn’t be given back.

  *

  Dana rolled over and started at the feel of Maria’s warm body cleaved to hers. She pulled her close and kissed her neck before turning to check the time on the bedside clock radio. She had seven dogs scheduled to begin at nine o’clock and it was six. She had to get home, get changed, and get back to the school. She had to find a way to tear herself away from this cozy bed and make her way to her car.

  “Mmm. This is nice.” Maria snuggled closer and Dana pulled her to her. “Are you getting up?”

  “I have seven dogs coming in this morning. I should get going, even though it’s the last thin
g I want to do.” Dana pulled Maria closer.

  “What in the world?” Maria sat up, looking confused.

  “It’s okay, baby. Lie down.” Dana caressed Maria’s arm as she spoke. Maria looked around and Dana’s buzz of arousal left over from their night’s activity turned into insistent throbbing when Maria’s breasts swayed in front of her.

  “I can’t remember the last time I slept so soundly.”

  “It’s okay. Frankie’s right there and I’m here. It’s Monday and you don’t have to work, but I do.”

  “Hmm.” She snuggled back down and wrapped her arms around Dana’s waist. “Can you call in sick?”

  Thoughts raced through Dana’s mind. Her mother was there now. She could probably handle checking in all the dogs, and her latest students were progressing nicely. Maybe she could take a morning off.

  “Wait a minute.” Maria trailed little kisses down Dana’s chest as she spoke. “It’s not Monday. We went out dancing last night. Saturday night. It’s Sunday, sweetheart.” Maria flicked her tongue across Dana’s right nipple and Dana no longer cared what day it was. She wasn’t going anywhere.

  “I don’t have much in my little kitchenette for breakfast. I hadn’t planned on an overnight guest.” Maria grinned and rolled on top of Dana.

  “Coffee?”

  “Always.”

  “Then we’ll be all right. I want to know if you’re okay with all of this. I didn’t plan to stay overnight, but I was so comfortable holding you in my arms last night that I just drifted off to sleep. I never lose track of what day it is, and that was only our first date,” Dana said. She ran her hands over the soft, smooth skin of Maria’s back and nearly groaned when her nipples hardened.

  “I’m very okay with this. It doesn’t feel like only one date to me. It feels like I’ve known you forever. I loved dancing with you, and I want more of that touching stuff.” Maria rolled back onto her side and pulled the covers over her bare shoulders. “I still don’t know what I’m doing, but after last night, I have a much better idea of where to start. You know, we both fell asleep with our jeans on. It reminds me of camping. I’d like to be naked with you.”