by Matt Shaw
“It would be a one time thing. A one time thing to help us out of this situation you’ve got us into. We need this and deep down you know it.”
Kim was trapped. If it had been any other time she would have stormed out of the house. She would have stormed out of the house and out of his life. It didn’t matter how much she wanted to argue with him. It didn’t matter how much she wanted to run from him – she knew, in the end, he was right. They did need the money and she couldn’t allow them to lose the house. She couldn’t allow them to lose her mum back to the hospital. Jackie knew the end was coming but, when she wasn’t in pain, she tried not to think of it. The hospital took away the illusion that everything was alright.
“Don’t be fucking stupid,” hissed Leon as his mood changed for the worse. “We have a chance to put things right for us but we have to take it.”
“Won’t it upset you that someone else is with me?” said Kim through her tears – hoping that his temper wouldn’t continue to rise.
“Of course it will, I’ll just have to deal with it,” he replied. Kim didn’t believe him. She believed, honestly, that Leon didn’t care if someone else slept with her. “COME ON!” he shouted as the final bit of patience within him withered away.
“Please don’t shout. Don’t wake mum up.”
Kim could have gone to her auntie’s house. Kim could have gone and taken Jackie with her but she didn’t want Jackie to see that she wasn’t happy with Leon. She didn’t want her to think she was leaving her daughter behind at a time when Kim needed her most. Kim thought she could always leave after her mum had died – hopefully fooling her mum into thinking that she was settled and everything would be alright for her even though Jackie could no longer be by her side.
Kim wiped the tears from her eyes – this would just be another sacrifice to allow her mum the chance of resting in peace, “Okay.”
* * * * *
Kim had insisted on the hotel room. She didn’t want to see Frank in their house with her mum downstairs, potentially hearing everything. Jackie was bedridden now but her hearing hadn’t failed her. She didn’t need to hear her daughter sleeping with another man.
The hotel room was basic. A king-size bed was pushed against the far wall with bedside cabinets either side of it. On one of the cabinets was a small Bible and, on the other, a television control for the set that was on the television stand at the other side of the room.
The door opened and Leon walked in carrying a plastic bag with him, “He’ll be here soon, put this on.” Kim took the bag and peered in – lingerie. Red, lacy knickers with a matching bra – still with the price tag.
She looked to him and said, “Are you really okay with this?” She didn’t need to ask. He was more than fine. If anything – he seemed to be enjoying the setting up of the appointment.
He ignored the question, “I’ll be downstairs in the bar. I have my phone on me if you need anything. Now get ready.” He gave her a peck on the cheek and backed out of the room leaving Kim to prepare for Frank’s arrival.
As Kim slowly stripped off and put the new underwear on, her mind frantically raced. She had always been thinking about seeing Frank but, until now, she had never really given the actual details much thought. She knew what he wanted. She knew what was expected. She knew that Leon had placed some ground rules down for Frank to follow. She just didn’t know how to go about doing any of it. Was she supposed to make the first move? Was he going to take care of everything? Would he stick to the ground rules? Were they just going to get straight into the act itself or was there going to be a little foreplay first? Did he want foreplay? Was he going to take the lead or, as he was paying, was she expected to? Would they talk first? Would they have a little drink first to calm their nerves? Was he even feeling nervous? A quiet knock on the door signalled Frank’s arrival. A quiet knock that’s sole purpose was to let Kim know he was there and not get her to actually answer the door for, straight after the tap of his knuckle, Kim heard the sound of the key card being swiped through the lock.
By the time Frank walked in, Kim was sat on the bed, nervously waiting for him, trying to force herself to smile. She didn’t have time to wonder whether she needed to look as though she was happy to be there. At the end of the day it didn’t matter – Frank had only said how much he had wanted to fuck her and not how much he had wanted to have a conversation with her.
“Hi,” he said as he licked his lips and removed his top. “You look great.” Frank was full of a confidence Kim hadn’t seen in him before. Unknown to Kim it was a confidence brought about by the use of illegal substances. Kim answered him by removing her bra. “Man, you look fucking great,” Frank continued as he kicked his trousers and pants off revealing an erection.
Kim shuddered as the situation suddenly became a whole lot more real, “I’m sorry, I can’t do this,” she said as she went to get up only to be stopped by Frank.
“You can’t back out now. I’ve paid good money.”
“I’ll get you your money back.”
“And how do you think you’re going to do that? I know about the mess you two are in and Leon’s already spent the money.” Frank pushed Kim back and caressed her breast causing her nipple to harden through the sensation – not that her mind enjoyed it. Kim wasn’t aware Frank had paid in advance. She thought he was going to give her the money just before they did anything. She wasn’t aware Leon didn’t trust her enough to make the collection. She felt Frank’s penis slide against her panties.
“Please – stop,” she said knowing that it would sting if he pushed in when she wasn’t wet enough. She pushed Frank off herself and sat up.
“Okay, if you don’t want to go ahead with it that’s fine. Let’s just call Leon back up here, shall we? Let’s see what he has to say.”
Another feeling of helplessness crept over Kim. If she pulled out of the meeting now, Leon would be quick to anger. He’d have been even angrier if he had already spent the money too as they had no way of paying anything back. With little option Kim closed her eyes and laid back, “I just didn’t think you would want to rush it,” she said, “I thought you’d want to get your monies worth from me.” She peeled her panties off and dropped them onto the bed, next to her.
Frank smiled and inside Kim died. “What did you have in mind?” he asked.
Kim purred, “I want you to lick me.” Her tones flowed from her mouth as though she were suddenly a sexual predator. Frank smiled. “And you have to wear a condom,” she finished as he went down on her. She knew his saliva would help when it would come down to the actual penetration. The wetness of his spittle would take the sting off. The wetness of his spittle would be the only way she’d get wet.
“You taste so good,” he sighed as he continued to lap away at her. He believed the shudders she was experiencing were because of his natural skills as opposed to the shudders being down to revulsion. The mere thought of his tongue, his spit, against her vagina made the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end.
“I can’t wait to see how tight you are,” said Frank when he finally emerged from between her legs. Before Kim could say, or do, anything she felt the tip of his uncovered penis against her vagina lips. Before she could remind him that he had to wear a condom, also one of Leon’s rules, she felt him thrust deep inside of her. The shock of the penetration caused her to let out a scream; a scream that Frank took as a good sign as he pushed deeper inside of her. Kim caught her breath as Frank pulled out a little, only to have it taken from her again as he pushed himself back in – hard – building up to a frantic pace. Thankfully, for Kim, it was over within a couple of minutes as Frank ejaculated inside her. The thought of Frank being disease-free didn’t cross her mind. She didn’t care – she was just grateful that he was done already. He lay back onto his side and looked at her, stroking her hair. Kim didn’t look to him – she just lay in the same position and stared up to the ceiling; mortified at what she had just done.
“Thanks for that,” said Frank a
s he picked up her panties and rubbed it across her pussy – the panties’ material soaking up her juices and soft scent, a fragrant memento for him to remember her by. He gave them a test sniff before he jumped up from the bed. “I couldn’t believe it when Leon offered me the chance to fuck you.”
“What?”
“He said that you were talking about wanting to fuck me but he’d only allow it if I paid,” Frank laughed as he pulled his clothes back on, “worth every penny.”
10
KIM SHOWED NO EMOTION as she reminisced about her past. There was no hint of a tear as she explained the final moments, of Jackie, to Kirk. There was no expression on her face as she explained that it was Leon that drove her to become a prostitute. There was no expression on her face when she told Kirk how Leon had forced it upon her. She knew, deep down, she was a good person. She knew that, what had happened to her was all because of a series of unfortunate events and nothing else. If she hadn’t met Leon she would never have become involved in the lifestyle that she was currently leading. It was all him. It was all Leon and Kim had come to accept that. By the time she finished telling Kirk about Frank she didn’t care what he thought. She didn’t care if, after hearing the whole story, he did kick her out of the house or tell them where she was. Even if Kirk accepted everything and still was prepared to look out for her, she knew it wouldn’t be the sort of life that she wanted to lead – always looking over her shoulder and always running from pillar to post never daring to stop in case they caught up with her. She knew it was over.
Kirk sat next to her and absorbed everything. What he had heard didn’t turn him away from Kim. It made him feel sorry for her. He pitied her for having to be in that position. It made him hate Leon. It was the first time, in a long time, where he had hated someone other than himself and it felt good. By the time Kim had finished explaining to Kirk how she became a prostitute the sun was coming up outside – not that either of them knew this with the curtains still closed.
“I thought it was supposed to be a one off?” said Kirk as he placed a tender hand on Kim’s hand – hoping to see a sign of emotion in her. There was a flicker of light in her eyes; the windows of her soul – just a flicker. He remembered Kim when she was at college; he remembered watching her from afar thinking how alike her mother she was. He remembered thinking how smart she was. And pretty. He used to sit at the back of the class and look around at the other students – his gaze always falling back to Kim where he’d carry on looking until the end of class was signalled by the bell. Here she was, now, sitting next to him – a broken person. He tightened his grip on her hand. His own emotions were becoming stronger, and deeper, by the minute and he wanted nothing more than to turn the clock back and be there with her. If he had been there – perhaps he could have stopped all of this. If he had been there he wouldn’t have met Tracy. He thought for a minute. Perhaps if he had been there, with Kim, both of their lives would be completely different now. Tracy would be alive, Kim would be living her life how she wanted and Kirk’s life would have been different too. Since that night he had always wanted his life to be different. If Tracy couldn’t be by his side, he wished that he had never met her. The more he thought about it – the more he got himself wound up although he tried his best not to show this to Kim. She didn’t need to see any more anger. She had seen enough.
“They’re both dead now,” she said.
“What do you mean?” It was a silly question.
* * * * *
Another punch connected with Frank’s nose. This time the nose split open and blood spurted out. Another punch quickly followed, dropping Frank to the floor where he lay, writhing around in pain. The violence didn’t stop just because he was no longer standing and a kick to the stomach promptly followed. Frank’s pleas of mercy were answered with several kicks to the face that knocked out some teeth. Kim watched on from the sofa nursing her own cuts and bruises. Her punishment wasn’t as severe.
When Frank had returned to the hotel bar he was met by Leon who complained about the prices of the drinks being too high. Leon had suggested that they should go back to Frank’s house for a few celebratory drinks together – to mark the occasion. What Frank didn’t know, until it was too late, was that Leon had no intention of toasting what he had just done. As soon as Frank had walked into his lounge, Leon set upon him; kicking, punching and shouting – furious that, although it was Leon that pushed for it to happen, Frank had slept with his Kim.
Leon didn’t care that Kim was hurting. He didn’t care that all of this had only happened because he allowed it to – because he pushed for it as a quick way of earning some money. He didn’t even care when Frank stopped moving and struggling. He didn’t even care when Frank stopped breathing – instead he just dropped to his knees next to the body, out of breath.
“You did this,” he said as he looked over at Kim.
“Fuck you!” whispered Kim as she continued to nurse her cuts.
“What did you say?”
Kim didn’t say anything. She hoped that Leon would allow her that one slip-up. There was no point in provoking him further – she was just thankful that she got off so lightly compared to Frank. Kim looked to the body and felt sick. She knew it wasn’t her doing despite what Leon had said to her.
Leon looked across to Frank again, “We’re going to have to get rid of the body. We can’t leave it here.” He looked at Kim to see if she had any suggestions. She didn’t answer back. She didn’t see why she had to do anything – she didn’t see why she had to help get rid of anyone. It wasn’t her that killed him. For the briefest of moments she contemplated calling the police. She thought, if she could get to a phone, she could make the call and he’d be taken away and locked up. Kim’s adrenalin pumped around her body hard and fast before she threw up at the feet of the sofa.
“You’ll have to clean that up too,” said Leon heartlessly.
* * * * *
Kim looked to Kirk to see if he had a look of disapproval on his face. There was no such look. She waited for the obvious question to come from his mouth but nothing came; he just sat there and listened. Perhaps he understood why she couldn’t go to the police there and then – that it would be too much for her mother to deal with in the final, short time of her life. Perhaps he understood that Leon would have killed her too. Kim found it strange that she had just told Kirk she’d been a part of someone’s death and he didn’t even pull his hand away from hers. He just carried on sitting there. A wave of relief rushed through her.
“You were scared of him,” said Kirk – filling in the blanks of why she didn’t call the police, “That’s understandable.”
That wasn’t the only reason though. To begin with Kim didn’t want to upset her mum, she wanted her mum to be able to rest in peace. There were plenty of opportunities to go to the police after her mum had passed though but she couldn’t bring herself to do it – fear and love both stopped her. Part of Kim wanted desperately to believe that Leon would turn back into the man she originally fell in love with. Part of Kim wanted to be able to have everything go back to the way it was. She knew it wasn’t likely to happen but she still clung onto that hope; one of her last hopes. Kim also knew that if she stopped living the lifestyle long enough to really think about what she had been part of – she wouldn’t have been able to cope with the memories and guilt; not by herself.
“There’s one thing I don’t understand,” said Kirk, “if they are both dead – you don’t have to do this anymore. There are choices now. You have choices. You can stop it all – pack it all in and do something else with your life. Start afresh.”
“Like you did?” she nodded towards the pictures of Tracy. Kirk didn’t need reminding of Tracy, he was well aware of her presence. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. I don’t have any choices. I’m trapped.”
“But you said it yourself. He’s dead! You’re free now. He’s not here to tell you what to do anymore.”
“I’m not free; I’ve made a mess of th
ings,” Kim broke down into tears again.
Kirk clung onto her hand, “There’s nothing that can’t be fixed. There’s nothing you can’t recover from – with help.”
Kim looked at him. She knew it was time to tell him. So far he had been fine with everything. He had understood. He had carried on being kind to her. She thought that, perhaps, he may even have the answers for her; the solution to help her recover from everything without any scars – mental and physical.
* * * * *
There was a brief moment when things did return to ‘normality’ between Kim and Leon. After Jackie passed away Kim needed a shoulder to cry on and, despite previously being cold towards her, Leon was there to provide it. It was during this time of mourning that Kim believed things could return to normal for the two of them. She still had enough feelings for him to try and forget about what they had seen and been through – a fresh start, if possible. Her illusions were shattered soon after she had learnt to cope with the loss of her mother. When Leon saw her coping – the appointments began to ring in again. The emails, generated through a website Leon had built for Kim, were also coming in thick and fast.
