Make My Heart Beat

by Liz King

  “Hold up, man. Slow down!” Wade yells into the phone, running over to where I’m still working and drags me by the feet out from under the Jeep. Wade thrusts the phone in my face. “Something happened to Lynae! It’s Seth!”

  My heart thumps in my chest. “What’s wrong?” I bark into the phone. I’m already leaping up from the floor and motioning for Wade to move his ass. We’re both headed to wherever the fuck my sweetness is so I can fix whatever the problem is.

  “I saw her when she was getting lunch. We were talking. She started having cramps,” Seth spits out frantically. “Something might be wrong with the baby. I don’t know. I took her to the ER. She looked really pale.”

  If feels like the world stops moving. No! This can’t be happening. She has to be okay. The baby has to be okay. “Where are you? Are you with her? Let me talk to her!” I am desperate to hear her voice. I need her. “We’re on the way!”

  Wade hops into his truck and starts the engine as I’m running towards the passenger side. Screw the garage right now. The work can wait.

  “I’m in the waiting room. The doctor kicked me out since I’m not family when he said he had to examine her,” Seth responds.

  “What’s going on?” Wade asks as he backs out of the parking lot.

  Fuck! No way in hell I’d want Seth in there with Lynae while she’s being examined, but I don’t want her by herself either. I’ll bet she’s scared to death. “Go upstairs, find Michelle or Gabbi, and tell them to get their asses down there now!” I order while Wade peels down the road towards the hospital.

  “Okay, I’ll find the girls. I’m scared, Connor. I don’t know how to deal with this shit. Just… come on. Hurry. She needs you,” Seth tells me right before I hang up the phone and toss it in the cup holder.

  “Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” I groan and run my hands through my hair. I look over at Wade. He’s gripping the steering wheel with a white knuckled grip and doing at least fifteen over the speed limit.

  Wade takes his eyes off the road briefly and gives me a concerned look. “Will you tell me what the hell is going on?”

  “Lynae’s in the ER. She started having cramps. Seth said something might be wrong with the baby.” I lean my head on the dash in front of me and try to take some deep breaths in and out. I don’t know what I’m going to do if there’s anything really wrong with either one of them. Lynae and the baby, they are my life.

  Wade nods his head and focuses back on the road. “Shit. We’ll be there in about ten minutes. I’ll drop you off at the door, then I’ll park. I’ll find you.” Wade places his right hand on my shoulder. “She’s gonna be fine. Don’t worry. If Nae Nae can survive the other shit you’ve put her through, she and the baby will be fine.”

  I start beating my head against the dash. I don’t want to be reminded of the stupid fucked up crap I’ve already made her deal with. God! I hope this isn’t a complication from the fall! Dr. Greene and Dr. Parsons said everything was fine! Things have to be okay. I refuse to think otherwise.

  When Wade pulls up to the ER entrance, I don’t even wait for him to stop the truck. I’m unbuckled and out the cab while it’s still moving. I burst through the doors and head straight for the reception desk.

  “Lynae Michaels. Where is she?”

  The receptionist looks up at me and scowls. I’m not in the mood to deal with a pissed off old lady that won’t let me back to where the love of my life is. Before she gets a chance to open her mouth, Seth calls my name and draws my attention.

  “Connor, come over here.”

  I walk in the direction of the chair he’s sitting in near the doors and stare at him, waiting for him to explain just what the hell is going on. “What do you know?”

  Seth stands up and runs his hand raggedly through his hair. “Let’s go back to Marcus’ room. It’s two doors down from where Lynae is. Maybe you can get in that way. The wicked witch over there won’t let us in there if you keep asking about Lynae. She told me family only. Besides, Gabbi is back there with her right now. She’s not alone.”

  “Fine, let’s go.” I don’t have time to wait around. If there is anything at all going wrong with Lynae or the baby, I should be back there. I’m the father, damn it!

  I let Seth lead me to the doors on the opposite end of the ER waiting area, away from the evil receptionist. Wade catches up with us just as we’re walking through the doors. Looking around the back hallway of the ER brings back memories of the last time we were all here. My stomach clenches at just the thought of her lying unconscious in that bed. I shake my head to rid myself of those awful memories.

  Seth ducks into a room on the left and we follow him. I want to find Lynae, but all the doors are closed. He said her room was near where Marcus is, but I don’t know which one that is. Marcus is sitting up in the bed while some cute little nurse finishes wrapping his hand in some gauze, droning on about antibiotic ointment and keeping it clean and dry.

  “Where the fuck have you been and why are those idiots here? It’s just my damn hand,” he quips.

  The nurse finishes what she’s doing and quickly runs out of the room, blushing furiously. Marcus doesn’t seem to pay any attention to her, and his face falls as soon as he sees the serious looks on our faces.

  “What’s wrong?” Marcus asks urgently.

  “Lynae is a couple doors down. Started having some really bad pains. We’re worried about Jellybean,” Seth responds.

  Jellybean? What the fuck is that about? I don’t have time to ask now. I’m just glad she wasn’t alone.

  “I’ll take you to Lynae. Come on, Connor,” Seth says, walking back out the door before Marcus can say anything else. He stops in the doorway and says, “Wade, you stay here with Marcus. I don’t think they’ll let all of us in there with her. They wouldn’t let me stay in there earlier.”

  “Thanks, man.” I clasp Seth on the shoulder. “For being here.” I mean it too. He was there for her when I wasn’t. I can only imagine how scared Lynae is.

  I follow Seth down the hall and wait while he knocks on a door. Gabbi pokes her head out and lets out a relieved “Connor” when she sees me. “Get your ass in here. Lynae has been freaking out asking for you.”

  Pushing my way through the door, I see Lynae lying on that little stretcher, hooked up to an IV and she just looks so damn small. Dr. Parsons is down here doing an ultrasound, but stops and turns around when Lynae notices me.

  “Oh, Connor!” Lynae whimpers.

  I drop to my knees and cup her face in my hands. “Baby, I’m right here. What happened? Are you okay?” I look from her tired eyes to Dr. Parsons. “Is the baby okay?”

  I feel tears starting to run down Lynae’s cheeks and onto my thumbs. I brush them away. “Shh, Lynae. Don’t cry. It’s gonna be okay.”

  Dr. Parsons removes the ultrasound thingy from Lynae’s belly and wipes her off with a towel. I look down at her and I see that there is a definite bump there that I hadn’t noticed before.

  “Hi, Connor,” Dr. Parsons says. “I’m glad you could get here. Everything is fine. The baby looks strong and healthy.”

  Lynae and I both sigh with relief.

  “I am going to admit you overnight though. Are you still having a lot of morning sickness? You’ve gained a few pounds, which is good, but your labs show that you’re very dehydrated. That’s what caused the dizziness and cramping you experienced earlier. I want to monitor you tonight and give you some more fluids through your IV,” Dr. Parsons says, patting Lynae’s hand.

  Lynae looks away from me and towards Dr. Parsons. “Yeah. This morning is the first morning I haven’t felt like losing everything from the night before, and I’m eating more. I guess I just haven’t been drinking enough.” Turning her head back to me, she adds, “I just get so busy that I forget.” She looks apologetic. “I’m sorry.”

  I want to shake her. How can she forget to take care of herself? She is a nurse for fuck’s sake! She takes care of people for a living, but she doesn’t stop to worry about
her own health.

  “Lynae, you have got to look after yourself. Like I said, I’m having you moved up to the prenatal floor for the night, and I want you to spend the weekend resting. See me in the office on Monday, and you should be able to go back to work on Tuesday if everything looks okay.” Dr. Parsons turns to address me. “Connor, can you make sure she relaxes and doesn’t do anything crazy? I know Lynae doesn’t listen to directions very well. Nurses always make the worst patients.”

  Lynae huffs in protest at Dr. Parsons’ remark, but doesn’t respond. I’ll be damned if I let her out of my sight this weekend. I don’t care what she says or anybody else. If I can’t get her to come home with me, I’ll go home with her. Hell, I even sleep on the fucking couch.

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Lynae

  I’m not happy about being forced to stay the night. I wanted to just sit back down in the cafeteria for a minute, let the room stop spinning and then go back to work. Damn Seth for freaking out and taking me to the ER. Now I’m back in a freaking hospital room. All it makes me think about is waking up and remembering my world crashing down around me. No. I can’t think about that. I have to remain calm and think about the baby. And Connor.

  I guess it was good that Seth was there. If I stop and think about everything, it was pretty scary. Those cramps were intense. I wasn’t surprised at all to see Connor come busting into the room either. I figured as soon as Dr. Griffin, the annoying ER doctor, kicked Seth out of my room, Connor would be the first person he’d call. I’m also very glad Seth had the brains to go find Gabbi to come and sit with me while I was waiting. I don’t think I could have handled getting bad news by myself if something was wrong. Michelle was scrubbed in in the OR, so she couldn’t come, but at least Gabbi was free.

  Dehydration. That’s what caused all this mess. If I just drank more water or juice this wouldn’t have happened. I want to kick myself for not paying more attention to my body. I should have known. I guess I figured that eating more, like Kim had told me to, was enough.

  “Baby, do you want me to go get you some of your yoga pants? I think that might be more comfortable for you.” Connor’s voice pulls me from my thoughts as he paces around the room, making sure the A/C is on high enough for me and that my water jug is filled up.

  Connor. He came running in to rescue me. I think back on my conversation with Seth at lunch. Seth practically confessing that he’s in love with me — that was awkward, to say the least. His words about Connor not being able to live without me. He asked me if I could forgive Connor. The truth of the matter is I think I already have forgiven him. I know in my heart of hearts that the real Connor, the man that I fell in love with and gave my soul to, wouldn’t have said all those things to me. And here he is: he’s dropped everything to come up to the hospital to take care of me.

  I smile up at him. “I have some in my locker from what I wore in this morning. I can get Michelle or Gabbi to bring them up later.” I hold my hand out for him, which he takes. “Thank you for being here.” Now that I’ve gotten my emotions in check I can think more clearly.

  Connor sits down on the side of my bed and pulls my hand up to his chest. “Lynae, there is nowhere else I’d be. You needed me. I’m sorry that I wasn’t with you when it happened. I wanted to be the one to bring Marcus up here, so I could check on you, but the garage was too busy. I’m glad Seth was with you though.” He leans down and kisses my knuckles. “Well, only kinda glad Seth was there.”

  I look down at my lap. I feel bad for forgetting about Marcus. I hope his hand is okay. “How is Marcus, by the way?”

  “He’s fine. Dumbass sliced his hand on some sheet metal. I think Seth told me he got five or six stitches. Nothing major.” Connor laughs.

  “That’s good. You can go check on him if you need to. I’ll be fine. I know you’re busy.”

  Connor takes his hand and lifts my face to meet his eyes. “I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying right here with you. And either you are coming home with me tomorrow, or I’m going home with you.”

  I don’t want him to go, but I felt like I needed to give him the option. I want him here with me. I want to tell him that I want us to be together. I’m done fighting. I’m not happy when we aren’t together. The last few weeks I’ve come to realize that no matter what my head says, my heart just won’t let me give up on Connor. Sure, I can deal with it, but I’m miserable knowing he’s upset and just as miserable.

  “Okay.” I squeeze his hand and look deep into those emerald pools that seem to suck me in. Every single time I get caught in them.

  Connor leans forward and plants a chaste kiss on my forehead. “I love you. You know that right?” My heart melts at his words. I do know he loves me. He is trying so hard to take things slowly like I’ve asked him to, but I’m tired of it. I want to move on. I want us to be together, to work things out. I’ve tried living without him in my life. I didn’t like it.

  The hospital door opens abruptly, causing me to jump in the bed.

  “Get the fuck out of this room right now, or I will kick your ass out myself!” Sly growls when he sees Connor sitting on my bed.

  Connor stands up and moves in front of the bed, standing between me and Sly. “You’re the one that needs to leave. Lynae does not need the stress of you yelling and acting like an ass right now.”

  Sly looks just as pissed as he did the last time I was in the hospital. I totally forgot that he was driving in today, after all the commotion. Shit! I don’t want to deal with him right now. As much as I love Sly, I know that all his presence will do is upset Connor and cause more tension than I can stand. Sly and Connor don’t mix well right now, and honestly, I want Connor by my side. I push myself to a sitting position and look around Connor’s body at Sly.

  He’s staring Connor down. Sly’s brows are furrowed and he’s breathing rapidly. I notice his hands clenching, forming fists. Dear God, please do not let them start a fight here in this hospital room. There have been way too many fights that I seem to be at the center of lately and I’m sick of it. “What are you doing here, asshole?”

  “I’m here to take care of Lynae. What does it look like?” Connor retorts. I can tell by the tense posture of his shoulders and tone of his voice that he doesn’t have much patience in him for Sly’s attitude.

  Sly barks out a laugh that grates on my nerves. “Well, I’m here now, so you can leave. All you do is fuck things up for her. I can’t believe that you think you have any right to be here right now.”

  I’ve never heard Sly so pissed off. This is an ugly side to him that I’ve not seen, and I don’t want to see again. It’s making me nervous, and my stomach starts to cramp up again. Kim said that stress and dehydration could cause me problems. I need to reduce the stress level in this room. Now.

  “I’m not going anywhere. Like I said, you need to leave if all you’re gonna do is yell and upset Lynae. She’s been through enough, and I’m not going to let you come in here and start taking over.” Connor takes a step towards Sly, who’s blowing up his chest.

  I start to swing my legs over the edge of the bed and sit up on the side, but my IV pole is on the opposite side, and the tubing isn’t long enough to reach for me to get out of bed from this side. Damn it. My movement catches Connor and Sly’s attention, and Connor is instantly beside me again.

  “Babe, the doc said to stay in bed. Don’t start misbehaving already. We just got up here,” he says, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. His voice softens when he addresses me, but as soon as he turns back around to Sly, it has the hard edge to it again. “She needs rest.”

  I push Connor’s hand away and address Sly. “I’m really tired, Sly, and I’m not in the mood to argue. If you’re just going to fight with Connor, then you can go ahead and leave, like he said. Just go back to the apartment.”

  Sly stares at me, stunned. I’ve never chosen someone over him before. He’s always been my rock, my person I ran to for anything and eve
rything.

  “What? You want me to go?” Sly asks incredulously.

  “Yes. I need Connor here right now.” I raise my chin and look Sly directly in the eyes. This is a big step for me. I’m not running to my usual safety zones for comfort. I’m following what my heart wants me to do. And I think my head is actually on the same page too.

  Sly shakes his head and glares at me. There is a look there that I haven’t seen before. “You know, I didn’t really like this bastard to begin with,” he motions in Connor’s direction, “but I thought you were smart enough to make your own decisions. We see how well that turned out, now don’t we?” he barks.

  My mouth drops open. What is he saying?

  “You let this dumb fuck mess with your head. Get inside your mind and make you think he’s a good guy. You let him make you think you need him. How stupid can you be, Lynae? You still as stupid as you were when we were in high school?”

  Now that’s a low blow. I know he’s pissed at me, but there is no fucking reason for him to start that shit.

  “Get the hell out of here!” Connor yells. “You will not talk to her like that!” He advances towards Sly.

  “What, you gonna hit me too? You’re a fucking piece of shit and you know it,” Sly roars.

  I can’t believe what I’m seeing and hearing. “That’s enough! Sly, get out!” I cry out.

  Two nurses come into the room with scowls on their faces. Before one of them gets a chance to say anything, Sly barges out and slams the door. Connor is instantly at my side, wrapping his arms around me. Surprisingly, the tears I expected don’t come. I let Connor hold me. His hands running up and down my back help calm my nerves and racing heart.

  “Miss Michaels?” one of the nurses addresses me. “You can’t be getting worked up like that or we will have to ask your visitor to leave. We were about to call security when we heard all the yelling.”