A Piece of My Heart

by Sharon Sala

  “Change out of your school clothes before you go feed Lavonne, and put on socks with your old shoes. It’s chilly out today.”

  “I will,” Bonnie said. “Can Lavonne have a cookie, too?”

  “No. Chickens don’t need to eat sugar. Just her regular feed, okay?”

  “Okay, Mama,” Bonnie said, and ran barefoot to her room, her little feet making splat, splat sounds as she went.

  In minutes she was out the back door and running toward the little chicken coop. Her daddy had built it for Lavonne, and she thought of him every time she went to feed her pet, but it was getting harder to remember what he looked like. That scared her a little, but she was afraid to talk to Mama about it. She heard Mama crying sometimes at night. It was hard being Mama’s big girl when she still felt little and scared.

  When she unlocked the gate to the fence around the coop and Lavonne came running, it made the sad thoughts go away. Lavonne was her buddy and had the prettiest black feathers ever. Mama said she was from a family of chickens called Australorps, but Bonnie disagreed. Lavonne was from the family of Paynes.

  The chicken’s constant clucks sounded a lot like Bonnie’s chatter as Bonnie scooped up feed and put it in the feeder inside the coop. When she left the chicken yard to get fresh water, Lavonne was right beside her, clucking and occasionally pausing to peck the ground.

  “What was that?” Bonnie asked. “Did you get a bug? Good job!” Then she suddenly squatted and pointed her finger in the grass. “Oooh, look, Lavonne, there’s another one!”

  Lavonne was on it in seconds, then wandered off a few feet while Bonnie carried fresh water back to the coop and filled the watering station. As soon as she was through with all that, she pulled a fresh hunk off the bale of straw and loosened it. She was getting ready to put it in Lavonne’s nest when she saw the egg.

  She squealed and dropped the straw then came out of the chicken coop on the run, screaming, “Mommy, Mommy.”

  When Laurel heard Bonnie’s scream her heart stopped. She dropped the armload of wet clothes back into the washer and went out the back door on the run.

  “What’s wrong?” she cried as Bonnie ran into her arms.

  Bonnie held out the egg in two hands as if it were pure gold.

  “Look, Mama, look! Lavonne laid an egg. Does that mean she’s all grown up now?”

  Laurel was so weak with relief it took a moment to answer.

  “Well, my goodness, I guess it does. Way to go, Lavonne,” Laurel said.

  Bonnie giggled.

  “We’re both growing up, aren’t we, Mama? Here, you take the egg. I’m going to play with Lavonne some more.”

  Laurel sighed as she watched Bonnie running back to the coop. Yes. Her little girl was growing up. She turned around to go back to the house, carrying the proof of Lavonne’s launch into hen-hood, and the farther she went, the angrier she became at Adam. By the time she reached the back steps, she was crying.

  “Oh, Adam, just look at what you’re missing. Why did you have to go and blow your damn head off? We need you. Life wasn’t supposed to be like this.”

  Chapter 2

  Truman Slade drove up to his house, a place he’d been renting for almost a year that was a couple miles outside of Blessings. He wished he’d had the foresight to pick up some barbecue before he’d left town. It was almost sundown, and with no lights burning from inside the house, it appeared uninhabited, which suited Truman just fine. He liked flying under the radar.

  The night air was cold, making him hurry as he moved toward the house and unlocked the door. He locked it behind him and then went through the house turning on lights, then ignited the fire in the fireplace. It didn’t burn real wood, but the fake logs behind the propane flames made it look real pretty. The stove popped as the flame caught, and then he turned on the TV for company before heading to the kitchen.

  A quick search through the cabinets and then the refrigerator confirmed what he already knew. There were no leftovers of any kind anywhere. Forced to make do with what was there, he ate peanut butter and crackers for supper, washing them down with reheated coffee, and blamed his forgetfulness on Jacob Lorde’s return to Blessings.

  Truman had been back in town for some time now and deceived himself into believing people had forgotten his past transgressions, but that would no longer be possible now that the man who’d sent him to prison would be a physical reminder.

  This place wasn’t big enough for both of them, but he wasn’t sure how he could bring that to a successful resolution without winding up back in jail.

  * * *

  Ruby Dye was carrying trash to the alley behind The Curl Up and Dye while the twins, Vesta and Vera Conklin, were sweeping the floor and folding towels, getting everything ready for the next day.

  Mabel Jean, the manicurist, was about to lock the front door when LilyAnn Dalton from Phillips’ Pharmacy came hurrying inside with a big smile on her face.

  “Oh, you’re locking up,” she said. “I won’t keep you, but I just heard news Ruby will want to know.”

  “What news?” Ruby asked as she came in from outside.

  “Jacob Lorde is home!” LilyAnn said.

  Ruby smiled. “So that’s who I saw getting off the bus this morning. Is he staying for good?” she asked.

  “That’s what I heard,” LilyAnn said. “Remember he was here for his daddy’s funeral, and then he went back to his unit? So, they said he suffered some pretty severe injuries not long after that. Anyway, he’s out of the army on an honorable discharge.”

  Ruby frowned. “He’s out there all by himself. We need to get some of the ladies at church to make some food. We can take it to him tomorrow evening. Like a welcome-home visit.”

  LilyAnn grinned.

  “I’m in for macaroni and cheese casserole,” she said. “I’ll bring it by the shop tomorrow before you close, and I’ll volunteer my Ford Explorer to make deliveries if others will go with me.”

  “That’s wonderful,” Ruby said. “I’ll go, and I’ll get at least one more to go with us.”

  LilyAnn waved good-bye and left as abruptly as she’d appeared.

  “Well, now,” Vesta said. “I remember him as a really nice-looking young man.”

  Vera frowned.

  “Isn’t he the one who testified against Truman Slade while he was still in high school?”

  Ruby nodded.

  “I’d forgotten about that, but now that you mention it, he sure did.”

  Vera’s frown deepened.

  “That no-account Slade lives outside of town. I wonder if he’ll try to bother Jake?”

  Ruby shrugged.

  “Truman Slade went to prison. Jake Lorde went to war. My money is on Jake no matter what occurs. Now, as far as I’m concerned, this day is over. Let’s go home.”

  “I vote for that,” Mabel Jean said.

  A few minutes later they were gone.

  * * *

  Laurel put the last glass in the dishwasher and started the cycle, then went to get the final load of laundry from the dryer. Since it was all towels and washcloths, she carried them to her bedroom to fold later. She could hear Bonnie playing in her room as she passed the door and smiled. It sounded as if she was playing school and using her stuffed toys for students. Bonnie was always the teacher, and Panda Bear was her worst student. He suffered a lot of time-outs.

  Laurel tossed the towels on the bed, then went to get Bonnie ready for bed. As she walked in, Bonnie was putting Panda Bear in time-out again.

  Laurel grinned.

  “It’s bedtime, honey,” she said lightly.

  Bonnie frowned. “Oh, Mommy, not yet. Panda was naughty.”

  “Well, you go brush your teeth and put on your nightgown. By the time you’re finished, his time-out will be over, okay?”

  “Okay,” Bonnie said, and then shook
her finger at the bear as she walked out of the room, as if to say you better behave.

  Laurel could imagine Bonnie’s teacher doing the same thing at school. Teaching was one job she could never do. She wouldn’t last a day with a room full of six-year-olds.

  Bonnie had squirted a little toothpaste on the end of her finger and was writing on the mirror when Laurel walked in.

  “Bonnie Carol! Why on earth are you doing that?”

  Bonnie looked startled.

  “But, Mommy, when Daddy used to shave it made the mirror get all foggy, and he would write Hello to me on the glass. I just wanted to write Hello back to Daddy…in case he came to see me while I was asleep.”

  There was a knot in Laurel’s throat, but she made herself smile.

  “You are right! I forgot he used to do that. So, finish writing your word and then wash your hands. It’s time to get in bed.”

  “Okay,” Bonnie said, and added the last L and O, then washed and dried her hands.

  Laurel waited in the doorway, then followed Bonnie across the hall to her room. Bonnie skipped over to where she’d left Panda and tossed him on her pillow.

  “I’m gonna sleep with Panda tonight so he won’t feel bad for getting in trouble today.”

  “Good idea,” Laurel said, still struggling not to burst into tears. She sat on the side of Bonnie’s bed to hear her prayers.

  “Okay God, here’s the deal,” Bonnie said.

  Laurel rolled her eyes. Now she didn’t know whether to laugh or cry as her daughter continued. “I wrote Daddy a note on the mirror. Tell him it’s here so he can some see it. Also, bless Mommy, who works very hard. Bless Daddy, who is in heaven. Bless Lavonne for laying her first egg. And bless Mr. Lorde’s son. I think he is lonesome. Amen.”

  Laurel was so stunned to hear Jake Lorde added to the prayer list that she didn’t know what to say, so she said nothing. Instead, she pulled the covers over Bonnie’s shoulders, tucked in the naughty Panda, and kissed her good night.

  “I love you very much,” Laurel whispered.

  “I love you, too, Mommy. Don’t forget to leave—”

  “I know, I know,” Laurel said. “I’m leaving the night-light on.”

  Bonnie sighed. “Thank you, Mommy. You and Lavonne are just about the best friends I have.”

  Laurel patted her daughter’s shoulder.

  “Thank you for putting me in such fine company,” Laurel said, and then reached over and turned on the angel night-light plugged in near the headboard and tiptoed out of the room.

  She went into her bedroom with tears rolling down her cheeks, folded the towels on her bed, and put them away, then took a quick shower and put on her pajamas. She paused in the hall outside Bonnie’s door, making sure she was asleep, and then walked through the house, making sure both doors were locked.

  She didn’t have to be at work tomorrow until 10:00 a.m. That meant she could make a decent breakfast for Bonnie before she caught the bus. She closed her eyes, whispered a quick “thank you” prayer for getting through another day, and then thought of what Bonnie said about Jake Lorde being lonely, and impulsively added a quick prayer for him to be well in mind and body. The moment she said it, she felt guilty. It was the same prayer she’d prayed for Adam, and it hadn’t worked.

  A little uneasy that she’d somehow marked Jake Lorde’s future as iffy, she turned over, pulled the covers over her shoulders, and cried herself to sleep.

  * * *

  Jake’s rest was never sound, and sleeping in a new place exacerbated the process. He had been gone so long that the sounds of the old farmhouse were unfamiliar again.

  The pop at the window behind him was nothing but a limb from the azalea bush blowing in the wind. The creak on the floorboard in the hall was just the house settling, and the drip he kept hearing was the showerhead in the bathroom. He knew the sounds when he was awake, but when they filtered through his sleep into the nightmare he was having, they sounded like an enemy ambush.

  He could see them moving through the shadows, heard the clink of metal against metal, and knew he needed to run, but his feet wouldn’t move. He tried to shout a warning to the others, but he couldn’t make a sound. He could hear someone crying and was afraid to turn around and look, for fear he’d see yet another one of his buddies dying. And then the world exploded.

  He woke up to realize he was the one in tears and rolled out of bed, anxious to leave the nightmare behind. He glanced at the clock. It was a little after 6:00 a.m. He hadn’t intended to get up so early, but no way in hell was he going back to bed after that dream, so he got dressed and went to the kitchen to make coffee. While it was brewing, he got one of his dad’s work coats out of the closet. When the coffee was done, he put on the coat and took a cup of coffee to the back porch swing. He eased down onto the swing and then took a quick sip. It was still too hot to drink, so he pushed off in the swing, while he gazed across the back of the property, waiting for sunrise.

  He thought about Laurel Payne and wondered if they were up yet, and if Bonnie was getting ready to catch the bus. If he closed his eyes, he could almost imagine his mother in the kitchen behind him, making biscuits and frying bacon, while making his dad’s lunch for the day. He would have been getting dressed and smelling all those wonderful scents drifting down the hall toward his bedroom, secure in the knowledge that all was right with his world.

  He wished his parents were still living. He could use a little pep talk along the theme of “this too shall pass.” God, he hoped even a little bit of that could be true. He couldn’t imagine living out the rest of his life in this violent state of mind.

  And so he sat on the swing until his cup was empty and sunrise was just a breath away. At that point, he stood, walked off the porch and into the middle of the yard.

  The sky was already lighter in the east. The moon was still in the same place in the sky, but swiftly fading from sight. While he was waiting for sunrise, a flock of geese took off from the pond, resuming their winter flight south. He watched until they had flown out of sight, thinking how quickly they’d left their past behind. If only it were that easy for him.

  He turned toward the east just as Mother Nature swept the horizon with a light brushstroke of gold, followed by a faint overlay of pink. Just after the pink turned to purple and the gold turned orange, a tiny portion of the sun was suddenly visible.

  Once again, tears blurred Jake’s vision. There were too many days from his past when he had believed he would never see a sunrise from this location again.

  “Thank you, God,” he said softly, and lifted his head, standing witness to the new day in much the same manner as he’d stood at attention during morning inspection.

  When the sun was finally a valid orb too bright for further viewing, Jake went back in the house. He hung the old coat on a hook by the door and refilled his coffee cup before pouring himself a bowl of cereal.

  Breakfast was served.

  * * *

  Ruby Dye was at The Curl Up and Dye early, verifying the number of ladies who were making food for Jake Lorde. She needed to make sure they knew to bring it to the shop by four this afternoon.

  Rachel Goodhope, who ran the Blessings Bed-and-Breakfast, offered food and a helping hand to Ruby to carry it in, so they were all set. Ruby checked to see if there was a phone number for the Lorde property, but couldn’t find one. They would have to hope Jake Lorde was at home when they arrived.

  * * *

  With the extra time to make breakfast this morning, Laurel made pancakes for Bonnie. The treat was unexpected and so exciting that Bonnie almost made herself late because she talked so much through the meal. She was on her way to the bus stop when the big yellow bus came around the bend.

  “Don’t run!” Laurel shouted as Bonnie started to sprint. “He’ll wait on you.”

  Bonnie slowed down, and sure enough the driver s
topped, honked the horn at Laurel, and waved. Laurel waved back and then waited until she saw Bonnie take a seat inside the bus before she relaxed. She’d just put her daughter into the hands of the Blessings school system and wanted her back in the same shape in which she’d sent her. Maybe a little dirtier, and hopefully a bit smarter, but safe. She took her time cleaning the kitchen and then changed her clothes and headed to work.

  Today she only had two houses to clean. One belonged to P. Nutt Butterman, Esquire, and the other was at the Blessings Bed-and-Breakfast. She cleaned rooms while Rachel Goodhope, who owned the B and B, did laundry and all the baking. She only worked at the B and B when Rachel called because they didn’t always have overnight guests.

  She made herself a sandwich and packed it in her lunch bag with a banana and a cookie and, at nine thirty in the morning, headed out the door.

  The radio was on in the truck, and she was humming along with the song when she drove past the Lorde place and saw Jake at the barn. He was working on broken rails in the corral, and once again, she was impressed that he was being productive.

  She started to honk and wave and then didn’t. No need encouraging him in any way. She was not on the market. But to her disgust, he was still on her mind when she drove past the city-limit sign and into Blessings.

  * * *

  Jake heard the vehicle coming before he saw it and immediately recognized Laurel’s old pickup. He kept working as he watched her pass. As soon as he nailed the last loose board on the corral, he put up his tools and headed for the house. He had business in town and wanted it over with.

  * * *

  Truman Slade didn’t punch a time card or bother himself with a regular job. He got a disability check from the welfare department for an injury to his back from when he was in prison. Truman considered not having to work was fair compensation for having been beaten within an inch of his life. He had a couple of pins in his spine as a result.

  The way he looked at it, if he hadn’t been convicted, he wouldn’t have been hurt. He blamed the state for his troubles and considered it his due. It was how his daddy had lived, and his mama had never complained.