A Piece of My Heart

by Sharon Sala

  He and his brother, Hoover, had been named after presidents. It had been his mother’s hope that they would therefore aspire to higher goals than the ones their father had never set, but it hadn’t worked. Both Truman and Hoover had spent most of their adult lives in and out of prisons. Truman was out. Hoover was still in. Truman thought about doing better, but not hard enough to change his life to make it happen.

  * * *

  Laurel liked Mr. Butterman’s house. She liked cleaning it. She had known him all her life and when she was little thought his name was funny. She used to wonder who would name their child P. Nutt, but his parents had. Now it said something about how he walked through life to have taken a crazy name and turned it into an asset. She also loved the big shade trees at both ends of the house. They reminded her of sentinels guarding the property.

  Today Mr. Butterman had left a note asking her to clean out the refrigerator before she left and apologized ahead of time for anything growing its own beard. Laurel giggled when she read the note. She’d seen his leftovers before.

  She got to work on the house first, changing sheets on his bed, cleaning the bathrooms, dusting, and then running the vacuum over the carpets before running a dust mop on the hardwood flooring. She left the kitchen for last.

  She began by cleaning the stove and countertops, then opened the refrigerator and began removing all of the covered bowls and carryout containers. Once it was empty, she quickly scrubbed down the shelves and drawers, then closed the door and threw away cartons, emptying the little dabs of leftovers Peanut seemed obligated to keep but never ate.

  By the time she was through, it was almost 1:00 p.m. She had to be at Rachel’s Bed-and-Breakfast by one thirty. She pocketed the check Butterman had left for her and ate her lunch as she drove to Rachel’s. By the time she arrived, she was ready to start all over again.

  * * *

  Jake had a grocery list in his pocket and a cashier’s check to open an account at the bank as he drove into Blessings. The familiar sights were reassuring. Seeing a farmer’s cab-over John Deere tractor rolling down Main was commonplace, but it still made Jake smile, especially when he saw the Great Dane sitting beside the driver, calmly looking out the windows as they passed. Jake laughed. It was obvious it wasn’t the big dog’s first tractor ride.

  He was still smiling when he parked in front of the bank and went inside. He saw the president, Carl Buckley, sitting in his office with a customer. Two of the tellers were with customers, but the lady at the customer service desk recognized Jake and stood up.

  “Jake Lorde! It is so good to see you,” she said.

  Jake smiled. Hattie Morris had been one of his mother’s good friends.

  “Hello, Mrs. Morris.”

  “How can I help you?” she asked.

  He took the cashier’s check from his wallet and handed it to her.

  “I want to open a checking account.”

  “Certainly! Just have a seat here at my desk.” Jake sat, stretching his long legs out in front of him and eyeing the autumn decorations as he waited for her to be seated. “So are you home for good?” she asked.

  “Yes, ma’am, and glad to be here.”

  “That’s wonderful. I drive by your home every time I go see my grandchildren, and it will be good someone is in residence there again. We all miss your father. He was a good man.”

  “Yes, ma’am. I miss him, too,” Jake said, and then sat quietly as she went to work setting up the new account, ordering checks, explaining their debit card system and the app for online banking features.

  Jake left the bank, heading to the post office to reestablish rural mail delivery at the farm, and once again he was on the receiving end of a big welcome home. By the time he headed to the grocery store, he was feeling good about his decision to return to Blessings.

  He pulled up in the parking lot and, as he was getting out, saw Lon Pittman leaving in his police cruiser. When he saw the young man sitting in the backseat with an unhappy expression on his face, he guessed someone might be getting a life lesson on the perils of shoplifting, then flashed on witnessing Truman Slade beat up the cashier at a gas station before he robbed it. He frowned, still disgusted this memory had the ability to bother him, and headed for the store.

  He paused just inside the Piggly Wiggly to get a basket, pulled out his list, and started down an aisle. It had been a long time since he’d had a chance to enjoy something as mundane as buying groceries, and he went at it with gusto, even adding candy and snacks that weren’t on the list. He was shopping through the canned goods aisles when he heard someone say his name. He looked up and saw Lovey Cooper, the owner of Granny’s Country Kitchen, coming toward him.

  “Jake Lorde! Is that you?” Lovey said.

  He smiled. “Yes, ma’am. It’s me.”

  She eyed the groceries and then him. “Looks like you’re setting up housekeeping. Are you home for good?”

  “Yes, ma’am, and happy to be here.”

  She beamed. “Well, that’s wonderful news. Next time you come into my place, your first meal is on me. I’ll make sure all my servers know ahead of time.”

  “That’s really kind of you,” Jake said.

  “Just thanking you for your service,” Lovey said. “Say, are you going to be home this evening?”

  “Yes, ma’am. Why?”

  “I happen to know there are some ladies making you some welcome-home food. They were worrying about how to notify you they were coming.”

  “Oh, they don’t have to do that,” he said.

  Lovey rolled her eyes. “Now you know better than to turn down some good, home-cooked food, right?”

  He laughed. “Yes, ma’am. I guess I do.”

  “Then that’s that. I’ll let them know you’ll be home, and you don’t bother cooking any of that food you’re buying for a while. Save it all for another day.”

  “I will do that,” he said.

  Even after she walked away, the news that he was going to be on the receiving end of more heartfelt wishes and home cooking made him smile.

  He was standing at the checkout lane later when he remembered the ruts in his driveway. He’d meant to put the blade on his dad’s tractor and grade the road smooth, but he didn’t even know if the tractor would start.

  After he paid, he hurried to the parking lot to load his purchases and then headed out of town. If the tractor would fire up, he’d smooth the road before company arrived.

  Chapter 3

  Ruby Dye, Rachel Goodhope, and LilyAnn Dalton were in high spirits as they drove out of Blessings. When Ruby got Lovey’s phone call and found out Jake had been notified they were coming, she was relieved. It would have been a mess trying to deliver all this food if he’d been gone.

  LilyAnn was driving and talking about how excited her husband, Mike, was about the upcoming arrival of their baby, chattering on about the colors they’d chosen for the nursery and what all she’d received at the baby shower they’d given for her at church.

  Rachel was talking about how their business was growing and the early bookings they already had for the bed-and-breakfast. She was excited for the fact that there were only a few nights still open between Thanksgiving and Christmas. She was bragging about what a smart move she’d made by hiring Laurel Payne to come twice a week and do the heavy cleaning in the rooms, so that Rachel had more time to devote to holiday decorations and baking for the constant turnover of guests.

  Ruby wasn’t paying much attention. She’d chosen to sit in the back and hold the three-layer coconut cake Rachel made, thinking about Jake Lorde and what it must have been like for him to come back to that empty house. Then her attention shifted as LilyAnn turned off the blacktop to the road leading to the house.

  “Oh, look! The driveway looks like it’s just been graded,” she said.

  “Hold on to that cake just in case,” Rac
hel cried.

  She glanced back at Ruby and then gave a sigh of relief. She was competently steadying the cake with both hands. When the car finally stopped, they breathed a bit easier.

  LilyAnn got out, then opened the back door and took the cake from Ruby so she could exit the vehicle. Rachel went around to the back and opened the hatch to the array of covered dishes. Ruby was on her way to the house with the cake when Jake came out the front door, smiling.

  Ruby started talking, even as she was waving a hello.

  “Good evening, Jake!” Ruby said. “I’m glad Lovey ran into you to give you a heads up. We brought food—the best kind of welcome-home gifts.”

  “This is so kind of you,” Jake said. “What can I do to help?”

  “Come carry this ham,” Rachel yelled.

  He ran to her aid and the four of them entered his house, loaded down with all they could carry. By the time they finished, there were at least a dozen different dishes on his kitchen counter—from salads to desserts and everything in between.

  “This is amazing!” Jake said as he peeked beneath the lids and foil-covered dishes. “And it all smells wonderful. I can’t thank you enough.”

  Ruby handed him a list.

  “These are the names and addresses of the women who donated, and I made a note of what they sent, so you can thank them personally.”

  “Thanks,” Jake said. “I’ll get some thank-you cards in the mail soon. I promise.”

  Rachel was used to being the center of attention around good-looking men. She had an eye for them too, but a recent brush with infidelity had taught her that looking was one thing, but never to take that next step again. And Jake Lorde was obviously not in the market, because the only vibe she was getting from him was related to good manners.

  LilyAnn was hovering, pointing out things that would need to be reheated and how to do it, things that would freeze better than others, because her mothering instincts were on constant overload. She was completely comfortable with Jake because they’d grown up together, so they had a history in common. When Jake congratulated her and Mike on the baby on the way, she beamed.

  “We own the gym on Main Street. It’s the only workout place in town,” LilyAnn said. “Mike told me to tell you, if you’re interested, that your first visit is on him…if you ever feel the need to go sweat in public, that is.”

  Jake grinned. This evening was far different from his arrival yesterday. He knew without asking that Ruby was the one who’d organized this. He remembered that about her from his father’s funeral. He hadn’t even known Blessings had a bed-and-breakfast until Ruby introduced Rachel Goodhope, but she was nice. She’d made sure to let him know that the dining room at the B and B would be open to the public on Thanksgiving, which was good to know for the people like him who had nowhere else to go.

  “We’re going to leave now,” Ruby said. “Enjoy your supper, and if you need anything, all you have to do is ask.”

  Jake followed them to the door, giving each a quick hug and a thank-you for what they’d done, and then he stood on the porch and waved as they drove away.

  As he was standing there, the school bus went by on its way into town. Jake thought of Laurel’s little girl, Bonnie, riding that bus and guessed Laurel would be scurrying around now, tending to her family. He glanced in that direction and then chided himself that they were too far away to see, went back inside, and closed the door.

  After the chatter of three women, the silence of his house surrounded him like a warm blanket on a cold night. It was the peace he’d sought. The healing he needed. He turned on the lights and then went to the kitchen and began filling a plate with whatever took his fancy. He poured a cup of coffee and started to sit down in the kitchen to eat, then changed his mind and carried it to the living room. He wanted a little conversation with his meal, but he didn’t want to have to participate, so he turned on TV and kicked back to watch as he ate.

  * * *

  The mood inside Laurel’s trailer was far from peaceful and a long way from quiet, but it was home. Bonnie was changing out of her school clothes and hurrying out to feed Lavonne before it got dark, and Laurel had white beans and a ham hock heating while she tried to scrub a ketchup stain off of one of Bonnie’s white socks. It was business as usual at her house.

  She was in the middle of scrubbing at the stain when she flashed on the scene of finding Adam’s body and how hard she’d scrubbed before she’d gotten the blood off the carpet in her bedroom. The memory was jarring and, as she looked down at the sock and noticed the stain was gone, she wished she could wipe away the one from her memory as well.

  Then Bonnie came running into the house from doing her chores, bringing life and a cold gust of air with her, and Laurel turned loose of the sadness. “Mama, it’s not school tomorrow, right?”

  “That’s right. Tomorrow is Saturday, why?” Laurel asked.

  “I told Lavonne that I’d make her a new nest. I just wanted to make sure.”

  Laurel smiled. “So Lavonne is getting a new nest?”

  “Well, just new straw and grass and stuff like that. She likes the box nest on the wall. She said it keeps the cold air off her feet when she sleeps.”

  Laurel was used to listening to Bonnie’s chatter, but the mention of cold air reminded her that she did need to winterize the little coop, so she and Bonnie would both be hanging out with Lavonne tomorrow.

  * * *

  Jake spent a good portion of the evening dividing the food into smaller portions, saving some of it to eat for the next few days and putting the rest in the old chest freezer in the utility room. Tomorrow was Saturday, but he didn’t have a schedule. It was quite the luxury not to have to report for duty on base or clock in at some business. Having this much freedom was the trade-off for experiencing it alone. He couldn’t help but wish his dad were still here. There were so many things they could have done together—so many things Jake could have done for him. But such was life, and Jake figured he’d lived through being blown up for a reason, so he would figure it out on his own.

  He went to bed with a hopeful attitude and a full belly, and then he fell asleep and dreamed, and in the dream he bled and died.

  He woke up bathed in sweat and shaking, then glanced at the clock and groaned. Only 4:00 a.m. It was too early to stay up, but if he went back to bed, he’d never fall asleep. And he didn’t want to take any sleeping pills. They kept him locked into the nightmares longer. He thought of the three-layer coconut cake, put on a pair of sweatpants, and went barefoot to the kitchen. Turning on the kitchen light chased away the lingering memories of the nightmare. Cutting a big piece of the cake and pouring a glass of milk to go with it was powerful medicine.

  He sat in silence, savoring each bite and remembering the nights he’d done this with his mother. She’d had insomnia, and he’d had a hollow leg, as his daddy used to say. As a kid, Jake couldn’t remember ever being completely full, and a nighttime raid for a snack had been commonplace. He’d had the best conversations about his life at this table with her.

  He took a bite of cake and lifted it in a toast.

  “To you, my sweet mama. Thank you for the lessons.”

  After that, he went back to bed and slept without dreaming until sunlight coming through the cracks in the blinds woke him up.

  He spent the morning setting up his email and Wi-Fi and then caught up on waiting messages. Most of them were from buddies. Some were still in uniform while others, like him, were no longer in service.

  * * *

  Laurel had winterized the chicken coop by pushing some hay bales around the outside for windbreaks while Bonnie put fresh hay in Lavonne’s nest. The fact that they’d gathered another egg had been a huge source of excitement, and Bonnie had carried it into the house and put it in the refrigerator while Laurel finished up outside.

  She was on her way inside when she met Bonni
e coming out. “Where are you going?” Laurel asked.

  “Just outside to play,” Bonnie said.

  “Okay, but stay close to the house.”

  If Laurel had paid more attention, she would have noticed Bonnie didn’t answer as she ran past her mother. She wanted to go visit Mr. Lorde’s son like she used to visit Mr. Lorde.

  * * *

  The day was cool, but the sky was clear. Jake had tired of being inside and got on his dad’s tractor and dragged up a couple of fallen trees from the woods. He was sawing up the logs into two-foot lengths before splitting them into firewood when he saw a shadow on the ground behind him. He turned around, a little surprised by the visitor, and quickly let off the throttle and killed the chain saw.

  Bonnie Payne was sitting on an upended bucket. “Hi!” she said when the engine stopped running.

  He grinned. “Hi. Does your mother know where you are?”

  “My mama lets me play in the creek.”

  “You are a ways from the creek,” Jake said.

  “I know, but I came to see your daddy all the time.”

  That surprised Jake a little. His dad had become a little cranky in his old age, but he must have had a soft spot for his youngest neighbor. “What did you and my dad do when you came to visit?”

  She shrugged. “Mostly, I just watched him work. I used to watch Daddy work, but that was before he made himself die.”

  Shock rolled through Jake so fast it made the hair rise on the back of his neck. “Your dad killed himself?”

  She nodded. “Mama had to clean up the bedroom afterward. Mama cleans houses for people in Blessings so she knows how to do it.”

  Jake was speechless. Laurel must have been the one to find him. Now he understood what the cold vibe he felt from her was all about.

  “I’m sorry,” Jake said.

  Bonnie sighed. “Me too.”

  Jake glanced at the time. He didn’t want her in trouble, and he didn’t want to be in trouble with Laurel, either. “I think you need to get back before your mother starts to worry, don’t you?”