A Step to Nowhere

by Natasha A. Salnikova

  I had just noticed that she approached so closely I could touch her with my hand. I looked at her face … my face … and counted the seconds of my life.

  “Samantha,” Ray said quietly.

  “Yes, honey?”

  Could my face look that stupid when I gave in to love?

  I almost screamed when the sirens wailed over our heads. Maybe not over our heads, they were coming from everywhere. Signals stopped for a second and then screamed again with all their might.

  CHAPTER 40

  It didn’t make sense to wait longer. They had all seen Bristow’s dogs entering the corporation building. If Ray and Sam went through the hallway then all that company in black would leave the building in a few minutes. It had been half an hour and no sign of the dogs. It meant only one thing—they were late.

  Steve was squeezing the wheel nervously. Ron had asked him to stay home and not participate, but Steve insisted on getting involved equally. They didn’t take him seriously; they thought he was too young. It was a chance to prove them wrong, to prove that he was ready. He wasn’t that different from them, really. No one could brag of an experience in actual fight. They had been shooting only in basements. Well, some of them had killed a few people, but it wasn’t an outburst or anything like that. When Steve told Ron his decision, his friend looked angry, but didn’t comment. He said that he trusted Steve and helped him to put a special signal in his phone that meant ready to attack.

  When Steve heard that signal, he startled. He was calm when the operation was just a possibility, but now, when it was clear that battle was going to happen, he became terrified. More than that, he was afraid Ron would notice it and stop him from going with them. Steve took a deep breath, trying to calm down his speeding heart, and grabbed the rifle that was lying on the passenger seat, clenching it with all his might. He looked in the rearview mirror, waiting for his friends.

  Ronald, Dan and the others were sitting in the covered truck, a few meters away from the corporation. The truck belonged to one of Dan’s friends who worked for the government’s electro station. They had the biggest trucks, black with yellow, like bees. They were driving around the city any time of the day, blocking roads whenever they pleased. Hlifians were lucky to have a person like this with them. He put the truck under the very nose of the corporation, two policemen walked around, but no one gave it a second thought. If they had checked, they wouldn’t have time to get surprised before getting a bullet in their heads. Steve parked by the store near the building and saw Otis getting down from a pole where he pretended to work, rocking the wires. The policemen and all the people around were going to see them running to the building and call for help, but there was not much choice. There was only one entrance to the corporation and it connected to a busy street.

  Steve raised his gun and opened the door when he saw men jumping out of the truck, one by one. They were wearing brown uniforms with spots that had been made for them in The City of Lost, so they could easily recognize each other. The policemen grabbed their guns, but hadn’t undertaken anything, understanding that they looked like boys with slingshots against this amount of somebody.

  Steve left the car when the crowd headed to the building and joined Ronald and Dan who were leading them.

  “Go to the end!” Ron barked at him. Steve didn’t answer, but kept marching close to him. He noticed everything. The policemen with their jaws dropped, glancing at each other but unable to decide what to do. One was fat and bald; saliva ran down his chin. People stopped, somebody pulled out a phone. One little girl started to cry. The bus stopped and the driver rose from his seat to take a better look at the strange parade of twenty-two men. That’s how many Ronald could collect in this short time. He didn’t call Hlifians who carried important positions in the government, or women. They had been doing a lot for the movement and could be used in the future. He couldn’t risk their lives.

  Steve was scared. Who, being of normal mind, wouldn’t be? Only now, he felt adrenalin rushing through his blood. He wasn’t just an irnaner anymore, he was a soldier. He didn’t wait anymore—he acted. No one could predict the results of this venture, but if he was going to be killed, it was meant to be. Maybe it was better than hiding in The City of Lost. Better than being a ghost in a living body. For how long should he hide? His whole life?

  They crossed the sidewalk and went under the roof near the security area. He saw only about a dozen cars in the darkness and in a bright spot, right before the booth, there were four soldiers. Bristow’s dogs.

  Steve had never fired at real people, but they didn’t let him do it here, either. He didn’t have time to consider his actions. A few shots resounded and it looked like the soldiers didn’t understand what had happened before they fell to the ground. A glass security booth flew away into smithereens and splatters of blood rained over the remaining glass that was sticking out in sharp fragments. The guard fell, leaning over the metal frame of the booth. Five more soldiers ran out following the sound of shooting. One of them had time to fire and wounded one of the Hlifians, but he was left behind and the entire group stormed inside the building. There were a few more soldiers meeting them, but they were prepared and started to fire immediately. Steve heard a bullet whistling by and everything seemed unreal. Not a single bullet touched him, but Otis fell dead. Steve rushed to him even though the order was not to stop. He threw his rifle on the floor and grabbed the man’s shoulders.

  “Otis!”

  He heard more shots, screams and then sirens began to wail.

  “Otis!”

  In The City of Lost a rare week went by without a murder, but here was a man that Steve had known. He had blood on his chest, his eyes were closed, and his heart had stopped. Steve put his hand on Otis’s chest. Nothing. Silence.

  Somebody grabbed him and pulled him up.

  “Not now,” Ron said. “We don’t have time!”

  Looking at Otis, Steve picked up his rifle and dashed after his friend. Probably they were going to kill him, too. So, let it be. Better to die than live like this. He ran along the hallway of the building where he had never been before, jumping over the bodies of his friends and enemies, landing in puddles of blood, noticing red on the white walls. He felt nauseated, his head started to spin and he had to stop for a moment to overcome these signs of weakness. Sirens wailed, people screamed, guns fired. Steve drew a deep breath looking at the moaning soldier in black with a wounded leg. The man’s rifle was near him, but he didn’t even look at it. Steve grabbed the weapon and aimed it at his adversary. His hands were shaking.

  The man raised his eyes to him and he didn’t hide his pain.

  “Go ahead!” he yelled. “What are you waiting for?”

  Steve threw the procured weapon over his shoulder and tore after his group that had already moved far ahead.

  CHAPTER 41

  The soldiers changed their positions, ready to attack or deter an attack. Samantha, with her mouth open, looked around as if she didn’t understand what was going on or as if she had never heard a sound like this. In the short interval between the wailings, a phone rang and my copy, stepping away from us and aiming her gun at us, pulled the phone out of the belt of her tight, black suit.

  “Yes!” Her face reflected her fury. “I understand! I’ll send people there and you send more here. This instant!” She dropped her hand down and looked at Ray, narrowing her eyes. “How did they find out we are here?”

  “You don’t know everything about me, honey,” Ray said.

  Samantha pursed her lips, took another step away from us and half turned, so she could keep watching us while talking to the soldiers.

  “The corporation has been attacked,” she said. “Stop everyone who is still alive on the other floors. Don’t let them get in here. Go now!”

  The soldiers turned away simultaneously and ran, disappearing around the corner.

  “I wasn’t raised by a military father and can’t give commands,” my copy said. “They listen anyway. My.
Every. Word. They will kill those sons of bitches who were supposed to be destroyed a long time ago.”

  Ray’s weight grew on my hand. I looked at him to see his face turning pale.

  “Your husband needs help!” I yelled. “He’s wounded.”

  “Of course he needs help.” My copy stepped toward us again, but Ray stopped her.

  “Sam, I’m fine. Go. All you need to do is pull down the red lever and dial the code. The code is …”

  “Ray, what are you doing?” Samantha asked. She looked shocked.

  “She’s going home,” Ray took a step back and almost fell. Somehow he held his ground and maybe I even helped.

  “No.” My copy shook her head and redirected her gun at me. At my head. It wasn’t something new.

  “You’ll shoot her—I’ll shoot you,” Ray said. He said that in a calm voice, as if he was talking about a sunset. He betrayed his spouse once and for all.

  “You can’t kill me.” Samantha raised her chin and flipped her hair. “You love me.”

  “Samantha.” Ray took a deep breath. I was afraid he was going to faint, but he kept talking. “I don’t believe one word you’ve said before. You said it just because you wanted to hurt her.” A nod in my direction. “You have hurt her already. Me too. Let her go and we’ll stay here and figure out our relationship.”

  “Why are the Hlifians here?” Samantha asked. “You’re with them, aren’t you?”

  Ray nodded.

  My copy stamped her foot like a capricious, little girl who didn’t get a promised toy. “You are the most disgusting creature I’ve ever met in my life!”

  “You should look in a mirror more often, dear,” I said.

  “Shut up, bitch!” my copy hollered.

  I heard gunshots. The battle was still far from us, but it was getting closer and we didn’t know who was winning it.

  “You’re not leaving,” she said.

  “Get away,” Ray answered and pulled my hand, but this time his legs gave up and he fell on his knees again. “I’m fine! I just got dizzy for a second!”

  “Of course you got dizzy!” I yelled back. “You’ve lost lots of blood!”

  “Bitch,” my copy hissed. I raised my gaze and met the snout of a gun. Then I felt a push to my side and I flew to the wall, hitting it with my head. At the same moment a gunshot sounded close to me and the sound of shooting didn’t stop. Before my eyes, there was fog. I couldn’t stand up and see what was going on. I heard more shots, then screams. I tried to sit up. The smell in the air was of fire and blood.

  That’s how it happens sometimes: you start with sex and finish with your head against the wall.

  “How are you?” a familiar voice asked. It wasn’t Ray. I closed and opened my eyes, trying to get rid of the blur, and the foggy figure became Steve. He studied me and he was concerned, but I looked away from him and saw a few men in brown uniforms with fuzzy spots. They were all armed. I also saw two guys holding Samantha under her arms. She looked like a furry cat. Her hair was a mess. Her makeup was smeared, and her suit was split on her shoulder. She was eyeing me as if she wanted to kill me with her gaze.

  “Where’s Ray?” I asked. Steve offered me his hand and helped me to stand. My head spun, but only for a second. In the next moment I almost fainted. Ray was lying on the floor with his arms extended along his body. His head was on Ronald’s lap, the fabric on his chest was soaked in blood; gurgling breaths were coming from his mouth. “Ray.”

  I fell on my knees before him, took his face in my palms. My hands were bloody and I smeared it on his skin. He opened his eyes and gazed at me. His eyes weren’t brown, they were black and dark, and deep circles were under them. He smiled and lifted up his hand to touch my cheek but didn’t reach it. His hand fell helplessly.

  “Sam,” he muttered.

  “Don’t talk,” I whispered the phrase that I’d heard so many times in movies. People said it to the ones who were about to die. He wasn’t going to die, why did I tell him that? “Everything will be fine.”

  “Say hi to my double. He loves you.”

  “Ray, help is coming. You’re going to the hospital. Right, Ron?”

  He nodded, not looking at me.

  “Did you hear me, Ray? You just need to …”

  “Attention, attention! My name is Captain Murphy and I address myself to the surviving members of the group Hlifian.” The voice was coming from everywhere. It hurt ears, nose, and eyes, like prickly frostbite. Another voice was bursting through this. Samantha was talking, but I didn’t understand her words. “You are surrounded. Resistance is useless. Anyone who tries to resist will be killed on the spot.”

  As if in support of these words, footfall sounded behind The Hlifians. All the men turned toward it, raising their weapons. I held my breath.

  Are they going to kill us all?

  No, they were not going to shoot Samantha Bristow. Among the soldiers in brown I saw the soldiers in black. Like a black river, they filled the white hallway.

  “Drop your weapons!” the voice roared. “I will provide you with five minutes of reflection time and after that you will be physically liquidated. The hallway to a parallel dimension is shut off.”

  “We have Bristow’s daughter!” someone yelled.

  “No,” Ray whispered. I grabbed his hand and pressed it to my cheek. “Surrender.”

  “No,” Ronald said. “It will be the end of everything.”

  Ray turned his head toward him with difficulty and looked him in the eyes. “I command you to admit defeat,” he hissed through his teeth.

  Ron looked at me.

  “Don’t do it because of me,” I said.

  “Surrender,” Ray said and closed his eyes. “Suicide is not the answer. Not now. I know what I’m doing. Jason will …”

  He didn’t say more.

  After a couple of minutes Ronald, with his hands up, came in front of the soldiers in black and their leader: a short-legged man in a silver uniform. Ron threw his rifle at their feet. He had a smile on his face and contempt in his eyes. The others did the same. They didn’t want to do it, but the order of their leader was the order. Ray knew what he was doing. At least, I hoped he did.

  “Kill! Kill them all!” Samantha yelled as soon as she was released. She rushed to the Captain and started to point in my direction. “Shoot them! Now! I command you!”

  “I can’t do that,” the Captain said.

  “What do you mean? I command you!”

  “I take orders only from your father and the President. We have been ordered to help you and arrest the rebels to bring them to justice. According to our code we can shoot only in the case of their resistance.”

  “I’ll shoot them myself!” My copy dashed to the pile of abandoned rifles, but the Captain stopped her.

  “I will have no other choice but to arrest you,” he said. Samantha was burning from hatred and anger, but she let her arms drop.

  A few seconds later and all of us, except Ray, had handcuffs on. Two soldiers put Ray on a cart and pushed it along the hallway. It seemed as if he had stopped breathing.

  I couldn’t cry.

  CHAPTER 42

  I was sitting on a bench that was covered with gray, leather-like material, with my arms around my knees and my chin resting on them, staring at the smooth, gray wall in front of me. Not a single flaw. Smooth surface like an egg shell. Did we have this kind of jail on my planet? I was fortunate and normal enough to have never learned that. Jail on Planet One looked like a hospital where patients were killed. Hallways, bathrooms, cells – had been not just clean – they had been sterile. The smell of cleaning substances saturated the air and cleaning men passed the cells every half hour. It probably was half an hour, but I couldn’t say for sure. Was it important? Not really.

  The wards/cells had glass front walls and the glass walls around the toilet were blurred. Good for me because I’d explode rather than use an open toilet. There were holes made in the front wall so I could hear everything happ
ening in the hallway. If we talked loud enough, we – the cellmates – could hear each other. This was great, considering the situation, because I wanted to communicate. They didn’t separate men and women in different jails on Planet One so all nine people, including me, were placed on one floor and we could share the experience. Only no one was in a hurry to do that. Steve was in the cell to the left of me. I didn’t know the person on my right. I didn’t see where they took Ron. The hallway was quiet if you didn’t count the crying at the opposite end from me and the periodical rustling of the mop accompanied by the soft steps of the cleaning men.

  I didn’t know if Ray was alive and I doubted they would inform me about his condition if asked. I unconsciously touched the bandage on my forehead that was attached to my skin after arriving in onis. It turned out the skin on my forehead had cracked when I flew into the wall, but I didn’t feel it. Now I felt a slight burning. I was thirsty, so I stood up a few times to pour some water, salty like tears, from the dispenser into a plastic cup. Maybe the water wasn’t salty, maybe it just seemed that way to me.

  “Steve,” I finally called when the silence became unbearable. I had to talk or I would scream. He didn’t answer. “Steve!”

  “Huh? What? Where?” His voice was sleepy. What a lucky guy. He’d managed to fall asleep and I pulled him out of his blissful sanctuary.

  “I didn’t know you were sleeping. I’m sorry.”

  “No, no.” He fell silent for a few seconds. “How are you?”

  “Okay. You?”

  “I’ve been better.”

  “I hope all of this was not in vain,” I said. “How many people were killed?” I asked this question, but I was afraid of the answer. I heard gunshots, lots of them, somebody had to be killed.

  Steve took his time before answering. I heard his heavy sigh.

  “Almost all of our men are dead. There was lots of blood, Sam … Dan is dead.”