Daunting Decisions

by Kip Nelson

  “This is all bullshit, she's obviously lying!” a woman said. The man glared at her.

  “Let me handle this,” he said sternly, then turned back to Diana.

  “We came in through a side door. I was...I was here the night when it all happened. I saw the people getting crushed, and I told the people I'm with. They said that we had to try. It was too important. We thought maybe there would be a doctor or a nurse as well. Are any of you doctors or nurses? There are people out there who need your help!”

  The man's face fell. “There aren't any. They all left, trying to save people out there. We're the only ones left here. Some of us were patients, others just came and found this place and made a home. I'm sympathetic to your cause, but we can't just let anyone take what they want. Can you show us what you've taken exactly?”

  Diana jerked her head and Adam moved forward reluctantly, opening the bag. A few people gathered around him and peered inside. They found the list he had dropped in the bag and scanned it, handing it over to the man.

  “You really need this much?” he asked quizzically.

  “We have a lot of people. We thought we'd better get as much as possible at once, it took us a few hours to walk here.”

  “You're not exactly local then.”

  “No, from the other side of the city, but you know, needs must,” Diana said. Adam was a little dumbfounded. She was making it all look so easy. She was disarming and charming and he wondered where this Diana had been hiding all this time.

  “Excuse me, miss, but do we know each other?” an older woman said, wheeling her chair forward, peering through her glasses at Diana.

  “I don't think so,” Diana said.

  “How strange, you look very familiar. You must have one of those faces,” she said.

  “That's what I've always been told,” Diana replied with a smile, and then turned back toward the man who seemed to lead these people.

  “Look, we don't want any trouble. As you can see, we're not exactly a military task force. We're just trying to look after the people we care about. Maybe we can come to some sort of arrangement. We haven't taken everything, there's still a lot in there. Have we taken anything you desperately need?”

  The man pressed his lips together and looked at the four of them. After a few moments he tossed his head and told them to follow him. Some of the others looked annoyed, but they broke away and walked to a larger room, thankfully one without any dead bodies inside. The four of them were shown to seats. The man walked down the other side of the table, and the bag was placed in the middle.

  “Maybe we should do things properly. I'm Davey,” he said, and held out his hand.

  Diana took it. Adam went to shake it, but Davey already had withdrawn his hand. It was clear he saw Diana as the leader of their little group and, to be honest, Adam couldn't exactly disagree with that assumption. Diana then introduced Adam and the others.

  “Now, I like to think of myself as a reasonable guy, but I can't just let people walk in here and take whatever they want. Frankly, you may very well be telling the truth, but I don't know who you are, and this could be some kind of a trap. I know that might sound paranoid of me, but it's just a sign of the times I'm afraid. You wouldn't be the first people to try getting in here.”

  “We wouldn't?” Diana asked.

  “No, but that's a story for another time. We're just ordinary people who are trying to live as best we can. I mean, when this all started we managed to get in here when so many others didn't. We thought that was some kind of a sign that we should make the most of the chance we'd been given.”

  “Is that why you've left all the dead bodies in the beds?”

  “Kinda, yeah, as a reminder that we're all going that way and it's just a matter of time, but things didn't work out like that. There were a few doctors, but some people kept coming here and they had bad infections. The doctors didn't know what to do so they went out there, trying to find the source of this infection and cure people. None of them ever came back.”

  “Did you go looking for them?” Diana asked.

  “Look at us, we're hardly the most capable people. We knew the best chance we had for staying alive was staying here.”

  “And they all just left?”

  “No,” Davey said, hanging his head.

  He glanced at the others. “There was one who stayed, but he didn't make it either. There was an infection that spread around. A big one. Most of us caught it and thought we were going to die. He treated us and saved everyone else before himself, and by the time he was ready to be treated it was too late. This place is filled with death, but it's become our home, and we have to protect that.”

  “I'm sorry to hear everything you've been through. Look, where we come from, there are a lot of people, and I'm sure we can find a place for you if you want to join us.”

  Davey chuckled to himself. Adam glared at Diana. She had no right to offer that, and he hated the thought of what Lisa would do if they came back with all these people in tow. Diana was going off-script and Adam didn't like it at all.

  “Thanks for the offer, but like I said, this is our home. Besides, you said you walked a few hours? Look at us. A lot of us can't go far. Can you imagine getting through the city on crutches or a wheelchair?”

  “It's not the best situation you find yourselves in,” Diana replied.

  “No, it's not, but at least we weren't hooked up to the machines when everything went dark, or in surgery,” Davey said.

  A hush descended upon the room as everyone was forced to face those dark thoughts. There were a few moments of silence. Adam took the opportunity to try sizing up the people who lived in the hospital, to see if there were any bad apples, or if they all actually could be trusted. It appeared as though they all had been affected by living in such a place, and Adam couldn't blame them. It must have been hard to be surrounded with death every day, wherever they looked, never to be given a break from the morbid thoughts.

  “So, what medicines can you let go?” Diana said.

  Davey ran his hand along his square jaw and creased his brow slightly as he seemed to be pondering something. “I understand where you're coming from, and I don't want you to have to put your people in danger. I'm not a doctor myself, but I want to be able to help people where I can. Because they helped me when they didn't have to do so. So, I'm going to let you have this medicine--”

  “Davey, you can't!” some of the other members of his group yelled, moving forward, outraged he'd make such a decision. Davey held up his hand to silence them. They obeyed.

  “I'm going to let you have this medicine,” he continued quietly, “but it's going to come at a price.”

  Diana and Adam glanced at each other. Adam knew they needed the medicine, but at what point was the price too high to pay? He gulped, unsure how safe he felt with these people. Davey seemed to be a reasonable man, but Adam couldn't see how anyone could live in a hospital for months and cling to their sanity.

  “What's the price?” he asked, with a lump in his throat. The corner of Davey's lips curled into a smile.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Adam waited with bated breath. He had a feeling this price wasn't going to be something he wanted to pay, but he would have to if it was the only way he could get the medicines back to the camp. Like Diana said, they had come so far, and they couldn't go back to Lisa empty-handed.

  “As you can see, there is a lot of death surrounding us. While we have respected the dead and tried making them comfortable, and kept them as a reminder of the way we should live now, the sheer fact of the matter is it's all rather depressing and highly unsanitary. Whenever we look outside all we see is death. Can you imagine what that's like to face every day? We're too weak to clean up all of them and move them down to the morgue, but if you helped us, then we would be indebted to you.”

  Adam was horrified at the suggestion. His first instinct was refusing outright, but his lips clamped shut. He would not let himself refuse the deal. The rest o
f Davey's group looked on approvingly. They knew they had Diana and the others over a barrel. Adam and Diana had made it quite clear how much they needed these drugs, so any negotiation would have been in Davey's favor. Adam glanced at Diana and hoped she could see the despondency in his eyes. He had been surrounded by too much death and the last thing he wanted to do was go and wade in it, but they had little choice.

  “There's nothing else we can say or do to persuade you?” Diana asked.

  “I'm afraid not. You wanted an arrangement, this is it. Otherwise, we'll bid you farewell and you can go and look for them somewhere else,” Davey said.

  “Then I guess we have no choice but to accept,” Diana said.

  Davey smiled and held out his hand. Diana took it and shook it, sealing the deal. The terms of the arrangement were quickly laid out. They would be provided with a steel surgical gurney that was used to transport patients around the hospital. Then they could put all the dead bodies on that and take them to the morgue. They would use the outside entrance leading to the basement, which provided an access ramp leading to the morgue. Then they would haul them into the incinerator, and later on Davey and the others would light a fire, close the door, and turn the remains to ash.

  It was going to be arduous work, especially because Diana insisted Annabelle stay with Davey. She didn't like the thought of leaving Annabelle behind, but it was better than having to watch her get face-to-face with dead bodies. Davey wasn't a monster and understood where Diana was coming from. Peter suggested he should stay behind, just to make sure Annabelle was safe.

  Adam almost asked if he should be the one to stay with Annabelle, but he knew Diana would not allow him to get away with this so easily. He knew that as soon as they were together she would be shouting and yelling at him again. He wondered if he ever would be able to do anything right. All he wanted was to try keeping people safe, but no matter what he ended up doing it turned out to lead them into some new tricky situation.

  Adam and Diana were given some old scrubs to wear and some rubber gloves, as well as surgical masks so they wouldn't have to breathe in the fumes of death. However, the pit of bodies still stank, even though they had been out in the open for months. The festering odor crept into Adam's mouth and throat, giving him a palpable sense of nausea that just wouldn't go away. Back in the hospital some of Davey's crew observed them, making sure they didn't try anything foolish. A few of Davey's men who were in good condition came out to help them, for there were too many bodies for just two people to handle, but they worked away from Adam and Diana.

  “That was a real performance you gave in there,” Adam said, trying to get Diana talking before she could turn on him.

  They waded through the bodies. The bones rattled and clacked as their feet met the skeletons. It was incredibly eerie to pick up a corpse and place it haphazardly onto the gurney. Working together, they lifted and hauled the dead and placed them onto the gurney, and when it was loaded up they wheeled it back and were given another one.

  “It had to be done,” Diana said, without emotion.

  “What would you have done if they had wanted to come back with us? I don't think Lisa would have been happy.”

  “Right now, I don't give a crap what Lisa thinks,” she said, snapping her head to face Adam.

  Here it comes, he thought, she was about to explode on him. But instead that was the end of it. She turned away from him and focused on the macabre job at hand. Adam was puzzled as he leaned down to pick up another limb. Usually she never hesitated in telling him how stupid he had been. Maybe this was the end of it, he thought. Maybe he finally had gone too far, and once they were back in the camp Diana would tell him it was over and that she and Annabelle wanted nothing more to do with him. He couldn't blame her, not really, but it still saddened him nonetheless. All he wanted was to have people around him who liked and respected him, but it seemed as though he always was getting in his own way. At least he still would have Peter, and he still would have his chance for revenge.

  He hated standing there in the middle of all those dead bodies. It was a grisly task, and so hard to fathom that just a few short months ago these skeletons were people with feelings, desires, hopes and dreams, just like him. Because of the cold winter some of them still had the flesh clinging to them, but it was warped and inhuman and, in some ways, they were worse to look at than the skeletons. Adam tried leaving most of those to Davey's men.

  “Where do you think it all goes?” he mused aloud, holding a skull in his hands.

  The dark white bone was smooth. The teeth were chipped, some were missing, but other than that the skull was in good shape. He looked into the round hollow eyes, at the cave left by the brain, at the jaw that belied no emotion and no hint of what this person had been feeling at the end. This was all that was left of an entire life.

  “Hmm?” Diana said, still looking away from Adam.

  “The soul, your mind, the essence of life, whatever you want to call it. Do you think there's something else after this? Some place where we go to the next plane?”

  “No, I don't,” she said bluntly.

  “That's all you have to say about it?”

  “What else is there to say?”

  “Are you alright?” Adam said, straightening up and feeling satisfying click in his back. He tossed the skull in with the other bones.

  “What do you think?”

  “I think you're pissed off with me. I know this isn't what either of us wanted, but at least we're going to get the medicine. I'm not exactly happy about doing this either. You think this is how I want to spend my life? I don't know why I keep fucking things up, but I really just want us to be safe. That's all I want. I get that you're angry with me, but please just give me a chance. I'm trying to do good, I really am.”

  Diana responded with a laugh that was devoid of all humor. She shook her head and exhaled deeply. “You really have no idea, do you?”

  “No idea about what?” Adam asked, getting tired of these games.

  “Just forget about it,” she said.

  “No. I won't forget about it, Diana. Diana? Diana!” he yelled, and then when she still didn't respond, he marched across the skeletons, bones cracking underneath the weight of his stride, grabbed her by the arm, and whisked her around.

  But he wasn't prepared for what he saw. So far, he had thought of Diana as a woman with a heart of stone, who only showed affection toward Annabelle. Yet now her eyes were red, and rivers of tears trickled down her cheeks. She glared at him and wiped away the tears, turning her face away in shame. Adam took his hand back and was stunned into silence.

  “Are you happy now?” she choked.

  “What's wrong?” he asked gently.

  He wouldn't exactly call Diana a friend, but they had been thrown together in the world. They had to look out for each other because they were the only people each other had. Diana wouldn't respond, though, and kept picking at the skeletons, but Adam was not to be dissuaded. He went up to her again and kept asking her, prodding her to open up, until finally she snapped.

  “Will you just shut up for a second?!” she exclaimed.

  “I don't care if you're trying to be a good person or whatever. I have my own shit going on, and I'm just trying to make it through the world as well, with Annabelle. If you are going to keep messing things up, then I'm just going to have to make sure things get sorted out, aren't I? I don't need you whining at me all the time, looking for my approval. You're a grown man, for goodness sake! Grow a pair of balls and start acting like one. You got us into this situation, and I'm getting us out of it. You think this is easy for me? I don't want to be here. I don't want to talk about death or about all these dead bodies. I don't want to have to face the misery that has been with me every day since I was a child. So, for once, I just would like you to shut up and be quiet so I can get some damned peace.”

  Her words reverberated through the air. Adam was shocked. He swallowed and raised his eyebrows.

  “I'm--�
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  “If you say I'm sorry again...” she said, pointing a finger threateningly at him. Adam was unsure about what to do.

  “I don't know how I'm supposed to react to this. You're mad at me if I'm sorry and you're mad at me if I'm not. I don't get you at all. With me you're so cold and distant, like you only tolerate my presence, but when a pretty boy like Davey comes along, you're all nice and friendly. What's that about, huh?”

  “Oh, really? You're going to be jealous now?”

  “Why not? I might as well be.”

  “I was fucking acting, Adam. I'm an actress. That's what I was before all this. That's what I still am. Of course I was going to be friendly because that's the only way we stood a chance of getting anything from him.”

  “An actress,” Adam said, dumbfounded.

  “Yes. A soap opera actress. Don't make a big deal out of it. Let's just get these bones collected and get this whole thing over and done with.”

  “But I don't get why you're so worked up about things here? Were you in a medical soap?”

  Diana laughed again. This time it was a throaty laugh, and she tilted her head back so her face could meet the sky. But the more she laughed the more it was clear she was emotionally troubled, and the laughter soon turned into sorrow once more. Her voice cracked into sobs and, soon enough, her head hung down again, the long dark hair falling over her face. She stumbled forward and fell to her knees among the bones. Adam quickly rushed to help her, offering his arms for support, but she beat them away.

  “You don't understand! You don't!” she yelled, and her mind passed back into her old life.

  She'd been on the run, seen things and done things to survive that no girl should have. During that time, she'd met another girl who had run away from home under similar circumstances. The two of them had become fast friends, and had considered themselves sisters, pledging that no matter what happened in life, the two of them always would be there for each other. They were the only family each other needed and Diana had loved her with all her heart. It was even painful to think of her name...Emily, and it was too painful to be at the hospital after what had happened.