Sons of Justice 7: Letting Go of the Pain (Siren Publishing LoveXtreme Forever)

by Dixie Lynn Dwyer

  He looked at it closer, and he remembered something from the case with Pachessa, some contact somewhere, a bomber, a terrorist who made homemade bombs that were complicated. There was a transporter, a guy who came from that area that did work for Pachessa. He didn’t know much about him because that wasn’t their job, but perhaps this location in Ireland might be one to look into. He pulled out his cell phone and called Finlin. He couldn’t ignore his gut or this coincidence. Somehow there was a connection here.

  “I would talk to J.T and his team, as well. They did come across safe houses, but that wasn’t why any of us were there. We wanted Thylane back and, of course, to eliminate Yorkshire. If you think somehow there’s a connection, we want to be involved in this to make sure Thylane, Lauren, and her sisters are safe.”

  “Understood. I could be reaching, but there’s something here. Maybe looking back at your investigation with those feds that were involved. I know Ferrow fucked up and nearly cost Thylane her life, used her as bait, and withheld information, but what about the other agents? Were they dirty, too, or willing to look the other way?”

  “I don’t know. Like I said, we pretty much took over. Our focus was Thylane and getting to her in time. J.T. can get shit, anything you need even on a hunch. He’s got connections all over the freaking place and family in New York, some in Russia and the Ukraine, hell, he and his team know heavy individuals.”

  “Glad he and the team are on our side. I’ll call him now.”

  “Keep me posted, oh, and claim guardianship of Lauren. Men are asking about her and whether or not she’s taken.”

  “What?”

  Finlin chuckled. “You snooze, you lose.” Finlin ended the call.

  Panther felt the scowl on his face. So men were hitting on her, asking to be her guardians, or what? Fuck, he felt jealous and angry, but he needed to make this call first. He would see her tonight for dinner and maybe discuss this guardianship thing and the idea of taking things slow, not really working out at all.

  * * * *

  “So what are you saying?” Steve asked Panther. Mink and Eddie stood in the doorway.

  “I spoke with Finlin as well as J.T., and this guy, the bomber, not only makes fucking bombs but he’s got a connection to the transporter, the guy who may or may not have helped Pachessa escape. Maybe Lambert, too. I think if we track this guy Randolph down then we might find Pachessa and Lambert.”

  “Call Jed and Jaret,” Eddie said to him.

  “What about your commander on this, Fairchild?” Steve asked.

  “We’ll wait on that. Let’s see what we find. It could be nothing,” Panther told them, but Steve felt there was something more here, and now a connection to the two men that were ex-boyfriends to Lauren?

  “If her exes were involved with these men, too, and they were soldiers, there could be other inside people who were working against the agents and you guys from the start. You realize that, right?” Steve asked them.

  “Who could it be though? It doesn’t make sense. Everything was pretty self-explanatory,” Mink stated.

  “Who gave the orders for you guys to just hand over the prisoner and not see him through to the prison?” Steve asked.

  “The commander, but that probably came from above him.”

  “Who?” Steve asked.

  “It wasn’t the commander, Steve. You weren’t there and don’t understand how it went down,” Panther said to him.

  “Yeah, I know I wasn’t there, seem to be constant reminders of that.” Steve walked out of the room.

  “Steve, Steve!” Panther called after him.

  Steve grabbed his keys and headed to his truck. He didn’t want to be here to give his opinion only for it to be shot down.

  * * * *

  “I take it the date went well?” Thylane asked Lauren when she came into Happy Endings with Stack and Rusty.

  Lauren smiled, which was something she couldn’t seem to stop doing since last night. Her sisters were asking her a thousand questions, and of course, she filled them in on what had happened and how she was feeling. Lauren came around the counter and hugged Thylane hello. Thylane held her tight.

  “Are you really okay? They didn’t move too fast or were too aggressive?” she asked Lauren.

  Lauren felt flush as she pulled back and shook her head. Thylane squinted and then she smiled.

  “Oh shit, I, want to hear everything.”

  Lauren nodded and then looked at Stack and Rusty.

  “We’ll leave you two to talk,” Stack said and kissed Thylane’s bare shoulder and gave Lauren a wink.

  Rusty brought Thylane’s hand to his lips, held her gaze, and gave her a wink. Lauren could see how much the two men adored her, and Finlin and Pisces were just as caring and intense. She was coming to realize that all these men who were part of Sons of Justice were hardcore, top-of-the-line badass and then some. The fact that she didn’t even truly know what they were capable of was a mystery that, with her men, actually aroused her. She’d hardly slept last night thinking about what they knew how to do, what types of missions they went on. She went from feeling aroused to feeling scared. What if she got involved with them, fell in love with them, and then something bad happened? Like what if one or all were killed? Then what?

  “Hey, what’s wrong?”

  She shook her head at her cousin and exhaled. She held her head and stared at Thylane. “My mind is going a thousand miles a minute. I can’t stop thinking about them, Thylane. I went from being attracted to them, aroused thinking of how our first date went, wondering what they were capable of what with their military skills and experiences, to freaking out about them getting hurt or killed. That would be just my luck. I would find men that could truly love me and care and then something bad would happen to them. Damn it, it just isn’t fair.” She plopped down onto the stool by the counter and shook her head.

  Thylane chuckled. Lauren was surprised by her reaction and looked up squinting. Thylane reached out and caressed her arm.

  “Welcome to the club, honey. It’s a catch 22. They’re hot, sexy, capable of killing, going in and out of danger at the drop of the hat, can do things with their hands alone, never mind those firm, hard, commanding expressions. It’s all so arousing and sexy, but then there’s the fear that it won’t last or that they’ll get hurt or killed and never return from one of those missions, and it’s sickening scary as hell. I know. I get it. I think women who fall in love with a soldier truly have got to be special, like their own breed of woman. There has to be a toughness, an understanding, and, as much as it sucks, to fear and worry when they’re gone. It’s a hundred times stronger, amazing, and powerful when they’re right here in your arms, touchable, huggable, loveable. It’s a whirlwind of emotions, Lauren, but I get it. I’m actually happy for you. I think they’re good men. Trustworthy men, and even my soldiers think highly of them, as well.”

  Tears filled Lauren’s eyes. “I like them so much it’s crazy, and too soon, Thylane. It has to be too soon and too fast.” She lowered her voice and whispered to her, “Maybe things moved quickly last night because it’s been like three years since I had sex, and they’re so attractive, sexy, and their bodies? Oh God, you’ve seen them. It’s not fair, and how could I resist?”

  Thylane chuckled and then whispered back, “You slept with them?”

  “No. Oh God no, no way, are you kidding me? On a first date? Jesus, no, I did enough and had to put on the brakes even though, believe me, I wanted to. I felt ready, but then my mind was screwing with me. I’ll explain.” She poured them coffee and started to tell Thylane all about last night and about how, when she was approached from behind, she’d tightened up and had flashbacks of the strikes against her skin that turned into panic a couple of times.

  Thylane covered her hand with hers.

  “Okay, so you didn’t tell them anything? You didn’t explain exactly how Logan and Connor were abusive and what your fears were?”

  “Not really. I couldn’t get specific wh
en they asked, even though they asked, wanting to know so that they didn’t do something again that would remind me of the abuse in any way.”

  Tears filled Thylane’s eyes as she smiled softly. “Aw…they’re so sweet. Who would have known for such intense men? Panther and them look so serious and ready. Each of them has something about them that stands out as leaders, as something powerful.”

  “Tell me about it. Eddie has that scary-looking tattoo on his neck, and Mink has the one on his arm in red and black over those big, hard muscles, and Steve just looks at me and I feel on alert. Then there’s Panther, who basically is the leader, the oldest I believe and I don’t even know how old he is or they are, but definitely older and more experienced in every way, let me tell you.”

  Thylane chuckled. “That’s a good thing, for you, but how about reciprocating the attraction and desire for them like they did for you?”

  “I only ran into a little problem as I anticipated what it was like in the past. These men are not Logan and Connor. I know that, but I feel like it’s going to take some time to get comfortable enough to truly let down my guard and let them inside of me. I actually feel scared to have sex again, Thylane. I’m afraid of it hurting, of there being four of them so big and capable, yet I know it’s going to happen. I know it is, so I’m scared.”

  “Well, you take your time and be honest with them. It sounds like they’ll understand.”

  “I know they will. As I mentioned a few things they didn’t seem turned off but instead upset and caring. I can see them being like your men. Wanting to touch me all the time, to keep me close. That’s a lot to get used to, a large, masculine hand just sitting on your hip.”

  “Or your ass,” Thylane said and took a sip of coffee. Lauren chuckled and then Thylane did.

  “I kind of like it. I feel possessed by them, like I belong to them and they belong to me and they want to make a public show of affection to warn off all other men within a large radius,” Thylane said and chuckled.

  “And apparently they don’t go far so they can keep eyes on you at all times.” Lauren nodded toward the corner where Stack and Rusty spoke with Philippe.

  Thylane didn’t even turn to look.

  “I can feel them, Lauren. I can sense them when they’re nearby. It doesn’t matter where I am or if they weren’t right there initially. I can walk into a place and just zone in on that connection we share, and I can find them. It’s insane, but so beautiful.”

  Lauren felt the tears in her eyes.

  “I want that, too. I do, Thylane, but I need to feel more independent.”

  “You are independent.”

  “No, I mean more like…more like you. Like how you trained to be stronger physically, mentally, and got empowered by learning self-defense and how to shoot a gun.”

  “You want to learn how to shoot a gun?” Thylane asked, shocked.

  “I don’t know. I mean I’m scared of guns. I know it’s because of the hostage situation and how Logan held the gun to my head and kept pushing it against me as he struck me. I don’t want to feel helpless like that again.”

  “There was nothing that you could have done in that situation.”

  “You reacted. When you had the opportunity, you grabbed that gun and you saved our lives before we wound up dead. I couldn’t move.”

  “You were injured, beaten with two swollen eyes, broken ribs, and a broken arm.”

  “Thylane, you had a broken arm and were battered, as well. The difference was you dug deeper, found that determination, that courage to fight to the end. I was broken down and terrified of Logan and Connor before that hostage situation. They had control of me, and I can’t ever let that happen to me again.”

  “Panther and his team are not going to control you.”

  Lauren raised her eyebrows up in challenge.

  Thylane exhaled.

  “Well, control you in a negative, abusive manner. When they command, when they desire your submissiveness, it will be in bringing you pleasure, in making you come, orgasm, cry out their names because you’ll love that dominance and their sexual demands. They are not going to restrain you and beat you into submission, degrade you, and make you feel like some caged animal instead of a human being. They were monsters, Lauren. They worked for terrorists. They hated this country and what it stands for and the military they pretended to be part of. They were sick, evil bastards, and they’re dead. You’re alive, and so am I. This is our second chance. Your second chance at life. You need to embrace it, to absorb everything you can about it and surround yourself with the good, with the empowering, and take it all in because the bottom line, as we know personally, is that it can all end, all be taken away from us in a second. So embrace this. Maybe confide in the men a little more and get their feedback, even some training from them.”

  Lauren smiled and then nibbled her bottom lip.

  “Steve mentioned the gun range at Lake Freedman. That learning how to use a gun was empowering and helped with self-confidence. That he could train me to be safe with a gun and to be capable. Then his brothers mentioned it, too. Do you think, from your own experience, that learning to touch a gun, to use it could help me?”

  “I think it definitely could, but your fears come from a different place than mine. I was forced to kill to save us. I only shot a gun at targets a couple of times because of my father teaching me. It wasn’t often, and I really didn’t know all the rules and safety with it. Not until after the hostage situation when I, too, needed to feel more empowered to ensure I could give myself the best opportunities to get out of a situation. You are dealing with a whole other level of fear. Guns were used to control you, to put fear in you, even before the hostage situation. You can’t even touch one without thinking of how it was used against you. Be sure that it’s something you want to learn and gain control of. I’m certain military men as well trained and knowledgeable as Steve and his team could help you, but you need to be upfront with them so they get the fear you have.”

  “So maybe I’ll try to talk to them about it first. We’re supposed to get together for dinner tonight.”

  “Oh, public place or their place?” Thylane asked and raised her eyebrows up and down.

  Lauren gave her arm a light slap.

  “Public.” His cheeks turned a nice shade of red, and she felt giddy inside.

  “You’ll be back at their place afterward. Mark my words,” Thylane said with a knowing grin and then took the last sip of coffee. A few customers came up to get some snacks and coffee, and when Lauren went back over to Thylane, her men were there.

  “Everything good?” Stack asked, standing behind Thylane with his hands on her shoulders. Thylane leaned back and smiled as Rusty took the seat next to her.

  “It’s great. Did you guys want something to eat or drink?” Lauren asked them.

  “Need you even ask, woman?” Stack asked, and they chuckled.

  Lauren slid open the case and then took out the brownie and placed it on the napkin. She couldn’t help but to remember Mink’s brownies and how the taste test turned into tasting her, on their coffee table in their damn living room. Jesus, she would need to keep herself primed and ready at all times. Heck, she did that this morning and even wore a skirt again.

  “What’s that smile for?” Thylane asked her. She looked at Stack and Rusty as they ate the brownie and moaned, telling her how delicious it was.

  “Nothing, just thinking that brownies may be my new favorite treat.” She smiled as they started talking about the other desserts and asking what the best-selling treat in the place was so far.

  * * * *

  Steve couldn’t take his eyes off of Lauren. She was just so beautiful, so soft spoken and sweet, and definitely needed protecting. It was instinctual, this need to care for her and watch over her. He really thought there was a special connection to her, and he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

  Panther was being kind of quiet, but Steve would catch him staring at Lauren as she spoke. Mink and
Eddie did the same thing and watched her like hawks. When she got up to use the ladies’ room, they kept turning to see when she would return. What Steve hadn’t expected was the effect it had on him, and obviously the team, when other men looked at her, checked her out, and even smiled at her as she walked by. He watched her closely, and she didn’t even acknowledge those men, her eyes were glued to the table and to all of them. In fact, they must have been giving some seriously hard looks because her face flushed, and when she sat down, she looked about ready to cry.

  “What did I do wrong? Tell me and I’ll fix it.” She wiped her eye before the tear fell. Panther cupped her cheeks. She gasped, and he held her gaze.

  “Not a goddamn thing wrong, baby. You’re so beautiful, so sexy, and amazing. We can’t stand to be apart.” He pressed his lips to hers and kissed her.

  “Check.” Eddie called out to the waiter raising his hand, and Steve swallowed hard.

  Things were uneasy still between him and his brothers-in-arms. Yet, they all wanted Lauren. They hadn’t discussed it in a sit-down yet, but they did show the signs that they wanted her and her only to be their woman.

  Panther released her lips, and she fluttered her eyes open.

  “Ready to go?”

  “How can I walk after a kiss like that?” she asked Panther, and he smirked.

  “Oh, baby, I will carry you out of here if you like. Over the shoulder or cradled in my arms?” he asked, pulling back the chair.

  She grabbed his forearm. “Oh God, Panther, don’t do that,” she said, sounding freaked out. They laughed. Panther licked his lips.

  “I would do it. If it sent word to every man in this place that you’re my woman, I would do it.”

  “You don’t need to. I want to be your woman, and I want you to be my man, and of course your brothers, too.” She smiled.

  “Let’s take her home so we can have Lauren, I mean dessert.” Mink winked.

  “Very funny,” she said to him as Mink squeezed her shoulder.

  Panther pulled her up into his arms and hugged her to him. He ran his hand over her ass and gave it a tap. Steve stood up, and Eddie paid the bill.