Shattered Heart

by Carol May

  “I’ll wait in the bedroom” as he exits through another door. I quickly change not taking the time to look at this drool worthy bathroom since I want to get back to Houston. Ok, I drooled over the kitchen, the view, this bathroom. I may have to secretly label this place “the palace.” As I enter the bedroom, I notice he is just laying his phone down on a table.

  “I think that our wine should be ready by now, shall we?” Returning downstairs, the conversation turns to this magnificent home. “This isn’t my home. I only stay here when I am in town. Which is a good amount of time. I consider my place in New York as my home.” Handing me my glass of wine, we gravitate to the outside to enjoy the twilight hours on the verandah. Sitting in solitude, with Houston, unwinding and enjoying a glass of wine somehow feels right. I can’t stop saying that. Glancing over at this striking, impressive man, I take a moment to reflect on how my life is progressing. Ten years ago, forget ten not even five years ago I would not have thought this possible. Remembering a promise made all those years ago, to not slip back into the shell of a woman I was back then. Sighing softly, I take another drink and stand. Houston looks at me beginning to stand.

  I shake my head no, as I walk over to him, gently putting my hand on his shoulder pushing him back into his seat. I sit my glass down, take his and place it next to mine. Our eyes never break contact. I swallow hard finding my courage. He seems at a loss for words when I straddle his lap. His eyes open wide. Smiling seductively as I take his face in my hands, I lean in and kiss him as if there is no tomorrow. It’s an emotional kiss, fueled by desire that leaves no question as to where I want this night to end. Through our deep kiss he mumbles against my lips, “Charli.”

  He pulls back ever so slightly and I can’t help the Cheshire cat smile across my face. Houston mumbles in a husky tone, “Can you feel what you are doing to me?” Taking advantage of the fact that my very core is pressed against him, I move into his erection, gently but with enough force for him to feel the sensation through his jeans. Wrapping his hands around my waste, he pulls back away from me just enough to look me in the eyes. What I see in his eyes mirrors my own, I am sure. What I see is desire. Pure raw desire. Our lips fuse together in a fiery, demanding kiss that represents our wanton need for more.

  Grasping the back of my legs, this strong magnificent man stood, laying me on my back. As my head tilted backwards, Houston begins a slow assault on my neck causing my body to rise up to meet his. Raising my arms gives Houston the opportunity to slide my shirt off. His eyes travel from the rolled up band of the warm-up pants across my relatively flat stomach to my bra covered breasts. His strong hands followed the same path his eyes took stopping with them cupping the sides of each of my breasts. “You are beautiful, Charli.”

  “Houston, I want to see you also.” Reaching down, he slowly remove his shirt. Uncovering, a muscular chest causing my heart to race, my temperature to rise and molten waves of desire to flood my being.

  Chapter 10

  As I walk into the office, Joan looks up, gives me a small grin and returns to work. I make my way to my office quietly.

  “CHARLI.”

  Darn, I wince and turn around and head back into Lana’s office. “Thought you were going to get by me? Not really a walk of shame my friend but yeah I guess it sorta is,” she says with a smile. “This brings back memories.”

  “The only thing I can say is … well, nothing really. It does give me some flashbacks but not all those walks of shame were mine if I remember correctly.” I grin and raise my eyebrows a couple of times. “Hey, what’s the point in working for yourself if you can’t ever come in a teeny bit late?”

  “Not sure two hours is a teeny bit but you are right about the working for ourselves thing. I only have one question and I won’t ask for details because well, I don’t need a visual of you, him I wouldn’t mind, but give it up and I expect the truth.”

  “Ahh, Ok?”

  “Was he as good as I imagined he would be?”

  My eyes get really, really big. I bite my lower lip with my front teeth and smile.

  “OH MY GOD! I know that look. Enough said.”

  Shrugging, I turn to head to my office when I stop at Lana’s door and casually reply, “A lady doesn’t kiss and tell.”

  “Lady? Yeah right. You do remember how long I have known you right? Now get out of here, I have the Smithson Industries proposal to finish. I am happy you had a great night, you deserve it.”

  “Thanks,” I say as I head out her door and into my office. Entering my office, I notice a small package marked fragile sitting in the middle of my desk. I set my bag down in my chair, pick up the curious package, and head back out to Joan.

  What is this?” Turning it in my hand.

  It’s a fragile package, obviously Charli,” with a hint of pretend cynicism. “Are we having a little difficulty with our eyesight this morning?”

  Ha! Ha! Wise ass. I would never have known that. I guess our school system failed me because I can’t read.” Pausing for effect, I continue on, “Oh wait, it didn’t fail me because, (stressing it out) I - can – read.” Pointing to the words stamped on the package, “fragile.” All joking aside, “Do you know where it came from? “Seriously, I don’t know. It came about thirty minutes before you got here. Have you ordered anything lately?”

  “Hmm, no I don’t think so.” I walk back into my office, move my computer bag out of my chair and sit down still holding the curious package. Just as I am about to open the package, Joan buzzes asking if I want to take a call from a man that won’t give his name. “Sure, why not?” I set the package down grinning hoping it will be a certain voice from last night. Why wouldn’t Houston call my cell? “Who knows with him?” My phone rings a couple of times, I don’t want to seem eager. Smiling as I pick up the phone, “This is Charli.” My smile fades quickly.

  “Charli? What happened to Charlotte?”

  I pause for a minute. “She’s dead.” Trying to stop my heart from beating out of my chest, I inhale and hold my breath for just a minute. Finally, I exhale preparing myself mentally as if I am about to go into battle. After what I hoped had been a pause in which he could read the unspoken message, I don’t want to hear your voice. I finally spoke.

  “What do you want?” I attempt to ask in an emotionless voice. “I was calling to see how you are doing? I was concerned about you.”

  With a bitter laugh I asked him, “Why? I haven’t heard from you in what five or six years?” “Charlotte.”

  Don’t call me that. My name is Charli.” Turning my back to the room, I sat with a deadpan stare focused on the wall.

  “How did you get this number?”

  “Is that really important? Look Charlotte,” “I told you she is dead. She died ten years ago. Why are you insisting on calling me that?” I ask with a sneer that I hope reached through the line allowing him to feel all the hatred I have for him still.

  “Ok, Charli, is it?”

  “Yes.

  “It took me a long time to find you. Especially after you checked out of the hospital.”

  “Did you ever think that maybe I didn’t want to be found?”

  “Yes, that thought crossed my mind more than once but I can’t give up.”

  “If I’ve given up, I don’t see why you can’t.”

  “Well, I can’t. I’ve continued to work, searching for the reason.”

  Laughing with the only emotion I found when I heard his voice, bitterness, I ask him. “Not give up on it? Searching for the reason. Are you crazy? We both read the report. Just like we know the reason. Human error.”

  “Charli, do you really believe that? He wouldn’t make that kind of mistake. We both know that.”

  “I don’t know that at all. You weren’t there I was.”

  “You are correct, I wasn’t there. Don’t you think I wish I had been?” Hearing the pain in his voice as he continues, “I was the one that taught him. Charlotte, my world changed that day forever.”

  �
�Charli. My name is Charli. In what alternate universe would you think my world didn’t change that day? No matter how much I try not to because forgetting isn’t an option for me, I remember.” Taking a deep breath, not giving Phillip time to speak, I find the courage to carry on with what I must say. “Every time I see the scars or every time I have blinding headaches, I have to remember the day the world stood still for me. You have to give up searching and just accept it. I have.”

  “Charli, he was my life. I have nothing left.”

  “You think he wasn’t my life? Phillip, I lost four people that day. It has taken me ten years to find the place I’m in. For whatever reason, I lived. I was given a second chance at life. I’m happy. Why can’t you just accept that I-am-happy? Yes, it’s a different happy than what I imagined but to say the least, I’m happy. Please, don’t ever call me again.” I can feel the sadness creeping over me like a fog rising up from the lake back home on an early autumn morning.

  “Phillip, please, just let him go. Let me go. Don’t ever, ever call me again. I am not Charlotte. She died that day, too.”

  The phone is half way to the cradle when I hear him, “I am sorry. Please forgive me.” Hanging up, I just sit facing the wall with my back still to my desk. I begin jerking all over as all the sorrow takes control .After a few minutes, I turn my chair around, and close my eyes. As if I were a young girl back in school, I fold my arms on my desk, lay my head down and take a deep breath. The tears that I thought my eyes wouldn’t cry begin. Foolishly, I had imagined that those tears had stopped a long time ago. I ask to my empty office, “Oh God! Oh God! Oh God! Why now?” I have no idea how long I sit that way but finally I stand, pick up my bag and walk out the front door without saying a word to anyone. Once I get outside into the bright Florida sunshine, the fog dissipates a little. Rather than going home, I go over to Costal Park on Key Biscayne.

  This is the place that represents what I thought Miami would be like when I first talked to Lana about starting Supreme Corporate Travel. I instruct the driver to drop me off at the South Entrance. I need to just escape by walking through the Park Gardens. I really need to think about that call. All the things Phillip said. What I am going to do. The anniversary is coming soon. A decision must be made. Since this is a weekday there are very few people here. I can just wander. Let my thoughts take over. When I leave today, my decision must be made.

  Chapter 11

  My phone has been vibrating about every 15 minutes for the last two hours. I am not sure I want to know who is calling me. What I do want is to stay lost here a little longer in this old zoo site. Sometimes, I think I like it so much because of the decayed, empty cages. For a long time, I felt like I was an animal locked away in a cage. Those people around me were watching and waiting. Just waiting for me to do what I don’t know but it seems like they were waiting. Wandering the paths and watching for any wildlife that calls this place home helps me find tranquility. The peacocks are my favorite especially when they display their magnificent tail feathers.

  Walking through The Gardens, looking at the empty cages, I have a calm but eerie feeling spread through my body. Sometimes that’s the way I feel, empty. Suddenly, I don’t want to be alone. My eyes grow wide with surprise when I take out my phone. “Oh crap!” I see fifteen missed calls from either Lana, Joan, or Houston. Easiest first is my motto. I chicken out by sending Lana a text.

  Stop freaking. Am OK. Just needed some alone time. Will fill u n later.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~

  Slamming my hand on the desk, I ask an empty room, “What in the hell am I doing?” Actually, I don’t need anyone to supply an answer. I already know it. I should be re-reading this brief not skimming the report based on the Singapore Brief. Most people would think, that I have nothing else to do today accept worrying about Charli. That woman is driving me crazy. Turning my chair away from the desk, I overlook the Miami skyline but what I see is a beautiful woman laying beneath me. Her eyes filled with lust and desire on the edge of satisfaction. What I hear is her voice husky with need, as she said, “Take me Houston.” Charli Jensen is driving me crazy.

  Our picture might have shown up in several news rags today which puts her face in front of hordes of people. If so, I have no idea what nut job might possibly have picked up on her. Nash needs to put a small detail together. I can already imagine how she will react to that. Maybe Jeff? He’d be good with her. Besides his wife would beat me to killing him if he so much as looked at her in a sexual way. Glancing at my titanium watch, I realize she has been out of touch for two hours at least, when my assistant buzzes to remind me my meeting will begin in the small conference room in five minutes.

  ~~~~~~~~~~~~

  I’m really dreading this because none of his communication was through a text but all calls. I enter the numbers, push send and almost before I can get the phone to my ear, someone answers.

  “Mr. Donovan’s phone, Melinda speaking.”

  “Ah, this is Charli Jensen and I was trying to get in touch with Houston, I mean Mr. Donovan.”

  “Oh yes, Ms. Jensen, I’m Mr. Donovan’s Miami assistant. He is in a meeting at the moment but I was given strict instructions to pull him out if you called. Mam, I know we have never met and please forgive my forwardness but are you alright?”

  “Yes, yes I’m fine. Thank you. Why?” “Mam before Mr. Donovan went into the meeting, I was told to call your number every fifteen minutes until someone answered.”

  “Oh, ok. But I really hate to pull him out of a meeting. Why don’t you just slip him a message that I called. He can return my call then.”

  “Ms. Jensen, please forgive me for saying so but I want to keep my job. Can you hold while I get him? Please, Ms. Jensen.”

  “Yes, I’ll wait.” Good gracious, that woman sure said please enough. I can’t imagine Houston being that upset because I didn’t want him pulled from a meeting.

  Answering the phone as briskly as I have ever heard him, “Charli, did something happen? Where are you? Who was the call from?”

  “Well, hello to you, too. Houston, I’m fine. I’m out on Key Biscayne at Coastal Park.” How did you know I had a phone call?

  “Costal Park, Key Biscayne.” I just sent Nash to pick you up.”

  “Houston, that is so kind of you but don’t send Nash. I will call a cab

  “Charli, not up for discussion.”

  “Ok, then thank you. Hey, how did you know I left the office?”

  “I called your phone. You didn’t answer so I called your office. Joan explained, saying you left right after you got an upsetting phone call. Neither Lana nor Joan knew where you were.

  Chapter 12

  When I finally wandered to the parking lot, there was that familiar navy Audi SUV, parked in a place of prominence. It wouldn’t matter if it was parked in the front or the back of the lot. With Nash sporting dark sunglass, hand over hand standing beside the rear door, an aura of prominence is present. Walking toward the SUV, he opened the door with a very cool welcoming.

  “Mam.”

  Crap, crap, crap! If that emotionless tone is his response, I can only imagine what Houston’s will be. I think a part of me really hoped to find a 6’ 4” surprise in the back of the SUV. Oh well, I’ve learned to live with disappointments.

  Sitting in the back of this vehicle now makes me think last night and how Houston waylaid me outside my office. I can’t help but focus on the wave of excitement I really felt when I saw him, waiting. That’s one little tidbit I think I’ll keep to myself.

  “Thank you for picking me up. I hope you didn’t have any problems getting here.”

  “You are more than welcome. Today is actually the first time I’ve been to “The Gardens but I didn’t have any trouble. Do you go there often?”

  “No, Not really. I actually found the place by mistake one day after I’d lived here about a month. Because of my love for animals, I actually thought this was a small petting zoo type place.” With a shrug of my shoulders, “I really d
on’t know what made me think that. Doesn’t really matter though.”

  “Listen, I am sorry for causing you any problems or messing with your schedule today.”

  “Ms. Jensen, picking you up wasn’t the problem. My schedule is fine. Every morning, I check my schedule but it takes many turns throughout the day. Houston, seems to always change it some way so rarely does it end like it was scheduled.”

  “What was the problem or do I have to ask?”

  Looking at me through the mirror, was enough of an answer. I knew the problem came with chocolate hair.

  “Nash, can I ask you something?”

  “Yes, Mam, ask away.”

  Looking out the window, as we pass by other vehicles, I wonder, “Will you answer it truthfully?”

  “Honestly Mam, it depends on what you ask. There are some things I am not at liberty to discuss,” not exactly what I was expecting but it’s the response I get. As I glance up at him, I notice he’s looking back in the mirror quite a lot. (Wow, what driving skills.)

  “That’s fair enough but I think you can discuss what I am going to ask.”

  “I notice you call Houston, Houston and everyone else calls him Mr. Donovan.”

  “Yes, Mam. I do.”

  “Would you stop it with the Mam business? You can’t be that be that much older than me.”

  “No, Mam. I don’t think I am but if it is all the same to you, I prefer the Mam.” There it is that icy tone.

  “Well, whatever makes you happy, I suppose.”

  “It doesn’t matter what makes me happy, it’s what makes Houston happy.” Smiling just a little, it’s good to know that Houston prefers Nash call me Mam. Well, Mam it is then. Back to my question, “Why do you get to call him Houston? It’s none of my business. I just wondered.” Sitting back quietly, I wait for his answer.

  With the biggest grin, he began. “It was suppose to be my sophomore year at college but I had failed several classes my freshman year. I wasn’t sure college was for me but I had gone back with a promise to my Mama to try harder. You know that old saying if Mama isn’t happy, nobody’s happy?”