Diminished (Winter's Wrath Book 2)

by Bianca Sommerland

  He hesitated when Shiori clenched around him.

  “Wait…oh, fuck, this is…” Shiori pressed harder against Brave. “This is so wrong. And it feels good. But…but almost too much.”

  His hips settled against her ass and she wiggled back against him as if she wanted more. Brave’s whole body was shaking. He was pulling so hard at his restraints Malakai put his hand over Shiori’s to keep him from wrenching free.

  “I won’t move until you’re ready, Shiori.” Malakai slid his free hand down her side. “But I love feeling you both. I want to see you come apart. You’re almost there.”

  “Yes, but…” Shiori eased her hips closer to Brave, then back against him. “When I’m close I can’t move at all. I don’t know why. I can hardly breathe and it just takes over.”

  “Sweetie, you don’t have to do anything. Just take what I give you.” Malakai curved his hands around her hips. With her knees on the edge of the sofa, she couldn’t take Brave in fully. He slid his hands down her thighs, guiding her feet to the floor. In this position, both her and Brave were powerless.

  By moving into Shiori, he controlled all their pleasure. A position he relished.

  But he was careful not to make that too obvious. “I’ve got you, love. Move with me.”

  As he drove into her, he pulled her down so she took Brave in deep. When he drew back, he lifted her away from Brave, ensuring she always had them inside her together. As she adjusted to the rhythm he moved faster. Then he tipped her back so he could bring his hand down to her pussy, his fingers pressing down on her clit.

  After that, she did exactly as he’d told her. She went slack, letting him move her over Brave, fucking into her ass harder and harder until the three of them were grinding into one another mindlessly. She cried out, shaking and arching back against him. Her muscles convulsing around him tipped him beyond his cool restraint.

  He grunted as he slammed into her, his hands splayed on the sofa so he wouldn’t bruise her with his grip.

  Beneath them both, Brave panted and let out a low moan. “I was wrong. Please fucking take this thing off. I can’t…fuck, please!”

  How amazing would it be to leave Brave this desperate? Pull away, rest, then use him again. Malakai considered the option, then tossed it aside. Not tonight. Maybe, one day, when they weren’t about to say goodbye to the woman they both loved.

  Easing away from Shiori, Malakai unsnapped the leather cock and ball rings. He watched Brave come apart, bring Shiori to another orgasm before he slumped on the sofa, completely drained.

  Shiori recovered before Brave did, lifting off him and curling against his side, her head on his chest.

  Malakai removed the butt plug, smirking a little when Brave called him some creative names. After disinfecting it with the supplies in his bag, he stashed the toy. Then he went to the bathroom to toss his condom and fetch a warm cloth for each of them. When he returned, the sight of them holding one another broke his heart.

  Pleasure could only do so much. Reality hit fast and hard. In the morning, Shiori would leave. And the way Brave held her, kissing her and whispering soft promises that nothing would ever change, brought what they faced to focus.

  That sweet, beautiful woman Malakai loved more than anyone he’d ever loved before had opportunities he couldn’t compete with. And didn’t want to. If he didn’t love her so much, he might try. She’d always be part of Winter’s Wrath. Have the family they’d built.

  But he had to let her find the family she’d been denied. One that might make her see him and Brave as nothing more than a pleasant experience. Two men she’d enjoyed before deciding what she really wanted.

  And…so long as she was happy, he’d accept that.

  He didn’t want tonight to be the end, but part of him braced for the possibility that it would be. Because he wouldn’t have Brave if not for her.

  And he might lose the man once she was gone.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  Brave set his notepad aside, rolling his shoulders to stretch the stiffness from his back. Lifting his coffee cup, he frowned, finding it empty. He couldn’t remember taking that last sip, but damn it, he needed more.

  Damn, when was the last time he’d pulled an all-nighter like this? Keeping his eyes open was getting difficult, but he wasn’t ready to turn in yet. A few little touch ups and he’d be finished the last song for the new album. And several potentials for the next one. His muse had been very active lately, and having the music come to him so easily gave him an awesome high.

  Didn’t lead to much sleep, but who needed rest?

  He stood, holding on to the edge of the table as the bus jolted, then made his way to the kitchenette to put on another pot of coffee.

  Malakai stepped out of the bunk area, folding his arms over his chest and leaning against the door frame. “You haven’t been to bed.”

  Not a question, but Brave answered anyway. “No, but I made those changes you suggested to Demon Doll and Vapid Games. Also…” He tried to stifle a yawn, but it overpowered him. He covered his mouth with his hand and shook his head. “Fucking Gaston…”

  Blinking at him, Malakai leaned forward. “Fucking who?”

  “Gaston…” Brave rubbed his eyes. All right, maybe the song needed another name. “Remember, the Beauty and The Beast one?”

  “Ah…” Malakai chuckled, but the sound was hollow. “Might wanna rethink the title. After you spend a few hours in bed. We’ll be in Austin around five and sound check is at six. You’re gonna be burnt out if you don’t sleep.”

  “I know, but I’m almost done.” Brave yawned again. “Don’t worry about me.”

  Lips drawn in a hard line, Malakai inclined his head sharply. “Fine. I won’t.”

  Stepping past him, Malakai strode over to the sofa, dropping down and flicking on the TV. He put on CSI and glared at the agents like they’d pissed him off.

  Brave stared at him, not sure what had just happened. Was Malakai really that mad that he hadn’t slept?

  Thinking back over the past two weeks, Brave realized Malakai had become more and more distant. With their crazy schedule, and every spare minute going to writing the songs that were way past due, Brave hadn’t had much time to delve into the reasons behind his behavior. He should have noticed something was wrong.

  It could be that Malakai missed Shiori. Brave did too. Even though they spoke to her every day, brief video calls weren’t the same. They’d had some chances for longer, erotic calls when they’d spent a few days in Boston, then again in Louisville, and he loved how into getting naughty long-distance Shiori had been.

  He was still counting down the days until they could be with her again.

  He sighed and walked over to the sofa, standing between Malakai and the TV. “Listen, man. I get how much this sucks, but next week, we’ll be in San Diego. And Shiori’s thinking about coming with us to Europe. It’s going to be okay.”

  “Is it?” Malakai let out a cold laugh. “We’ll see.”

  “Fuck, what’s your problem?” Brave stumbled as the bus swayed. Frustrated with his fuzzy brain and the moving vehicle testing his already messed up equilibrium, he plunked down on the sofa. “You miss her. I do too. But—”

  “This isn’t about her. Even over the phone, she makes me feel like things won’t change.” Malakai pressed his eyes shut and shook his head. “Look. Forget it.”

  “Not happening. Talk to me.”

  “It’s stupid.”

  “Who fucking cares? I love you and you’re pissed at me and I want to know what the hell I did.” Brave relaxed as Malakai’s lips curved slightly. “We both know I suck at relationships, but I want you to be happy.”

  Malakai groaned and latched his fingers behind his neck. “Damn it, now you’re being sweet and I feel like an ass. I just…it seems like you’re killing time until you can be with her again. And I understand.”

  That clarified absolutely nothing. “But…?”

  “But I’m right here.” Malakai s
hrugged, looking uncomfortable. “We’re always working. Or hanging with the guys. I think we spent more time together when we fucking hated each other.”

  Aw hell. He’s right. Brave reached over, pulling Malakai’s hands from behind his neck. Then he fisted his hand in Malakai’s shirt and drew him forward, kissing him slowly, lips parting as Malakai’s mouth slanted against his.

  The kiss was passionate, but not one that would lead to sex. He wasn’t sure how to tell Malakai how much he meant to him. That if he wasn’t here, Brave would be going completely insane.

  But he’d try to do better at showing him.

  He let out a soft sigh as Malakai eased away. “I’m sorry I’m a shitty boyfriend. How can I make it up to you?”

  Pulling Brave to his side, Malakai shrugged again. Then snorted. “Flowers? Seriously, it’s no big deal. I’m preparing myself for when you get sick of me. Guess I’ve got nothing to worry about yet.”

  Yet? Okay, time for some serious damage control. Malakai had accepted Shiori leaving, but it had probably hurt him as much as it had hurt Brave. He hid it well. A little too well.

  Recently, Brave had been forced to face the impact Valor had on his life. And not only when he died. Brave had ruined relationships because he’d been so fucked up. Almost destroyed the band he’d helped form.

  Shiori had faced her demons as well, but healing would take time for her. He wasn’t sure what damage had been done by her stepfather’s abuse, but her grandmother had already talked her into therapy. She’d stopped being so afraid that she’d ruin Hiro’s life. She was happier. Didn’t have the shadow of the past holding her back.

  While they’d been moving forward, Malakai had supported them. He’d been strong and steady, giving them everything they needed, from a shoulder to cry on, to space when they wanted to be alone. Or, like Shiori, had to take steps without him.

  Malakai’s own pain hadn’t really been explored besides the counseling he did with Ballz. He’d lost his parents. Lost his younger brother, and everyone he’d ever been close to.

  He’d have a hard time trusting what he had with Shiori or Brave would last. And there was no easy way to fix that. But Brave could make sure his man didn’t feel like an afterthought.

  Or like his opinion didn’t matter.

  “I changed my mind. Scoot over.” Brave shot Malakai a sleepy smile once he’d moved to the other side of the sofa. Stretching out, he rested his head on Malakai’s lap. “I’m gonna take a little nap.”

  “Here?” Malakai laid his hand over Brave’s hair, idly stroking it as Brave’s eyes drifted shut. “You’d be more comfortable in your bunk.”

  “Mm, maybe. But you won’t be there.”

  “I could lie down with you…” Malakai hesitated, clearly not loving the idea.

  Which Brave understood. Their first night in the cramped bunk had been fine, but a few more and they were both sore and exhausted. And not from anything fun. There just wasn’t enough room.

  Shaking his head without opening his eyes, Brave brought his hand to Malakai’s knee. “Here’s good. Now shhh. I’m fucking beat.”

  The tension surrounding Malakai dissolved as he continued petting Brave’s hair. Sleeping next to him wasn’t a grand gesture, but Brave sensed he needed more of the little things. Acting like they always had as bandmates was easy. Days could go by on the bus with the other guys where they’d hardly exchange a word. Brave hadn’t seen his brother at all yesterday, because he’d been in the back room with Danica, then taken off with Jesse and her during rest stops.

  He hadn’t noticed how much effort Alder put into his relationships. The three were together all the time, so it seemed simple, but Brave had clearly been missing something.

  He let sleep take him, deciding he’d have a chat with his little brother when he woke up.

  Hours later, when they reached Austin, Brave joined Alder in the van to make a quick stop at a local pharmacy. While in New York, Alder had seen a doctor—after a long talk with Ballz and Reese—and was now on Zoloft. It didn’t seem to be doing much yet, but the doctor had said it could take a few weeks. Dariel, who’d joined them and made his debut on stage on their last night in New York, said he’d been on Zoloft himself for about a year after leaving the service, and told Alder about his experience, which seemed to help.

  Still, Alder had been a little moody about taking meds. And the rules that went along with them. He couldn’t drink alcohol anymore.

  To show him support, the rest of the band had stopped drinking on the bus. Which had gone better than Brave expected. The guys had been freaked out when Shiori’s stepfather lodged a complaint against Alder for assault, even though no charges were filed. Every single one of them knew the result of Alder losing control could have gone so much worse.

  That he was accepting help, however reluctantly, was a relief.

  After handing over his prescription to the pharmacist, Alder stepped back to wait, eyeing Brave curiously. “Did you come along to make sure I actually got my meds, or is something up?”

  Brave shoved his hands in his pockets. “Something’s up. I need your advice.”

  Alder’s brows lifted. “This oughta be interesting. About what?”

  He better not fucking laugh. “Relationships.”

  “Ah…” Alder bit into his bottom lip hard, his shoulders shaking. He burst out laughing when Brave smacked his shoulder. “Sorry, I just wasn’t expecting that! Damn, my big brother, all in love and shit.” He backed up when Brave swung at him again. “All right, all right, I’m done. Who you having trouble with? Shiori or Malakai?”

  Dropping his gaze, Brave took a deep breath. “Malakai. Even I can’t fuck things up from across the country.”

  “Could happen, so don’t get too comfortable. Besides, if Shiori comes with us to Europe, you could have the same issues with her.” Alder rubbed his jaw. “I noticed Malakai seemed off. But you two don’t do anything together. Today was the first time I’d seen you in the same room actually in contact. Maybe neither of you are that affectionate, but it would drive me nuts if Danica sat far away from me all the time and Jesse never touched me.”

  “Jesse spends most of his time on the road either driving or sleeping.” Brave shook his head, still not sure how the three managed. “It’s not like you can sit on his lap while he’s behind the wheel.”

  Cheeks reddening, Alder folded his arms over his chest. “No, but I hang out with him. We talk. I rub his neck sometimes. I don’t fucking ignore him and neither does Danica.”

  “Got it.” Brave raked his fingers through his hair. “So I should do more with Malakai. What else?”

  “Fuck, I don’t know. Be spontaneous. Bring him coffee or make him his favorite snack. He does that shit for you and you don’t seem to notice.” Alder’s tone softened. “It’s good that you’re trying, but part of your problem is you aren’t paying attention. He’s making all the effort in the relationship.”

  “So I’ve got some major work to do.”

  Alder inclined his head. “Tons. But the crazy bastard loves you even though you’re a lazy, spoiled fucker.” He smirked. “Probably worked out better when he was getting some benefits.”

  “You mean when he got to fuck my brains out more often.” Brave smiled sweetly at an old lady who gaped at him as she passed. “My apologies, ma’am. I have no manners.”

  Surprisingly, the woman laughed, glancing back without slowing. “You tell your man he’s lucky to have you.”

  Grinning, Brave turned back to Alder.

  Who rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Do not tell him that.”

  “I won’t. But she’s right.”

  “God, you’re hopeless.” Alder tipped his head back, mumbling a prayer. The pharmacist called his name and he went over to pay for his meds, leading the way out once he had them in hand. “Not sure what else to tell you. When Jesse fucks up, he surprises Danica with silly little presents. Then sucks up for a while. Try that.”

  Near the exit, the g
ift section caught Brave’s attention. He walked over, grabbing a couple things, ignoring Alder’s incredulous laugh.

  Hey, he’d suggested presents. Brave had to start somewhere.

  About twenty minutes later, they returned to the bus and Alder went in to see if everyone was ready to head to the venue. Brave got out of the van and walked around to the back of the bus, sitting on the bumper and inhaling the cool, dry air as he waited.

  He wasn’t sure Malakai would think to come look for him here, but he hoped so. This bumper was where they’d taken those first steps to building what they now had. Most people had nicer spots they called theirs, and maybe he and Malakai would find a better one someday. Until then, this was as good a place as any to reconnect.

  If it didn’t work, he’d figure out another way. He might not be a great boyfriend, but he’d damn well fight to keep his man.

  “Hey, what’s going on?” Malakai strode up to his side, his eyes dark with concern. “Everyone’s waiting for you.”

  “I know, I just needed a minute alone with you.” Brave put his hand behind him, touching the gifts. They’d seemed good choices at the time, but maybe they were stupid.

  Malakai shook his head, kicking Brave’s feet apart and stepping forward to stand between Brave’s thighs. He curved his hand around the side of Brave’s neck. “You need time with me, you might wanna let me know.”

  “I’ll try to remember that.” Brave rested his forehead against the other man’s. “Listen, I know I fucked up. I want to do better. I will do better. But…call me on my shit, okay? You used to be real good at that.”

  “You want me to start being a dick to you again?” Malakai shifted back, his brow furrowed. “I don’t—”

  “That’s not what I mean. I’m saying…” Brave groaned, not sure how to explain what he meant. “I’m with you, Malakai. I won’t be the one who leaves.”

  With a sharp inhale, Malakai’s eyes locked on his. He swallowed hard. “I guess it’s hard for me to believe that.”