Good Girls Ain't No Fun Boxed Set (The SIX romance and urban fiction volumes of the LOVE, SEX, LIES series)

by Jessica Watkins

  “Here,” I answered.

  Vic hissed as she rolled her eyes. “Should have known.”

  She isn’t really mad at me, and I know it. Vic sees me as some sort of an “angel”. I once helped her out of her funk through religion and doctrine, so she sees me as a prime example of what living right should be. Nevertheless, it is time that she learns that no matter how much she goes to church, every woman has the same needs and weaknesses.

  I giggled as I watched her perplexity failing to hide itself.

  “I cannot believe that you’re laughing.”

  “I’m not laughing. I’m giggling. I’m happy.”

  Vic sneered as she said, “Oh really?”

  “Yes, really.”

  “So, what happened?”

  My smile faded away abruptly. All of a sudden, it was embarrassing to verbalize what I did. As long as I allowed myself to believe that what happened between Ray andI was a fantasy in my head, I could live with it. Having to say it aloud was me admitting that I turned my back on God, and, no matter how good the sex was, it could never make me proud enough to admit that.

  “Well, we talked and fell asleep.”

  “And then?”

  “And then at about five o’clock this morning, we had sex.”

  Vic just sat across from me on the loveseat watching me. She seemed to have so much dread in her eyes.

  “I’m sorry.”

  Vic asked, “Why are you apologizing to me?”

  “Because I know you expect me to be a reflection of what I taught you.”

  She admitted, “I do.”

  “But everybody isn’t perfect, Vic. I get unhappy too. I get lonely just like the next woman. Sometimes the loneliness gets so intense that reading the Bible from Genesis to Revelations won’t instantly make you feel better. Do you know how many times I’ve prayed for a change in my marriage? Do you know how many days I’ve fasted to show God how bad I need Travis to change his approach to this marriage just a little bit? Sometimes two people can put themselves together, slap a God-approved label on it, and then expect it to be okay because ‘it was joined by God’. But what if we put God in this marriage instead of God putting us in this marriage?”

  I was fighting back tears and Vic saw that, so she attempted to change the subject. “So was it worth it?”

  As my smile appeared again, Vic’s surfaced for the first time that morning.

  She squealed and clapped. “Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!”

  “Girl, it was awesome. He was everything that I wanted and missed.”

  “Wow. It was that good, huh?”

  “Yes,” I admitted as I sighed pleasurably. “I am sure that anticipating good sex for so long probably magnified the moment times a thousand, but it was good nonetheless.”

  Vic seemed to watch my smile with caution.

  “What? Don’t judge me.”

  “I’m not,” she replied. “Lord knows I’ve done my share of dirt and then some, so I am no one to judge you.”

  “Thank you.”

  “But please be careful. Don’t find yourself in love with this guy. You have invested years into Travis when you barely know Ray. What you walk away from determines what you walk into.”

  SEVEN

  Sunday, July 19, 2009

  TRICEY

  Blood has been attached to my hip ever since the Feds bumped Alicia.

  When he said he would lay low, I didn’t know that meant in my house. But I don’t mind. I enjoy the company. Every day we’ve been here or there; shopping for the baby, getting dinner, or going to the movies. We did anything to take his mind off the Feds and my mind off of giving birth to a fatherless child within the next few weeks.

  This morning we got up and decided to go to the Truck Stop, a random, dirty little restaurant downtown with the best omelets I’ve ever had.

  “Shit,” Blood cursed as we exited the expressway.

  “What?” I had been riding with my eyes closed trying my best to manage my discomfort. My back was killing me and I was having minor cramps.

  “The Dicks are behind us.”

  Right then, anxiety crash-landed on top of my backache and cramps.

  We were riding in the Yukon, so I immediately asked, “Are there any drugs in this car, Nate?”

  He just looked at me, and that look was full of guilt.

  “What the fuck are drugs doin’ in here, Nate?!”

  “Smith and Shon are meeting me at the Truck Stop.”

  I damn near fainted. My stomach started to turn as I saw the color leave Blood’s face.

  Then the Dick’s turned on their sirens.

  “Calm down,” he told me. “They are probably just fuckin’ with me.”

  “Why did you bring me with you?!”

  “It’s not that much.”

  “Enough to put my baby in foster care since I’ll be giving birth in the joint!”

  “No, you won’t. Calm down!”

  I wanted to jump out of that car and run. And, as a matter of fact, as Nate pulled over to the side of the road, I could swear that he looked like that’s what he wanted to do as well.

  “Put my phones in your purse.”

  I immediately disagreed. “Oh hell no.”

  “Put ‘em in your purse and shut the hell up!”

  This was not the time to fight, so I just shut up, did what I was told, and looked out of my window. Besides, my anxiety and anger would only lead to me giving Blood away. I just sat there rubbing my stomach, looking out of my window, and trying my best to calm down.

  For some reason, this made me think of how much I hate Amiel. Had he been man enough to stand up to Bridget, I would be with him and not Blood’s dope dealing ass. I would be home with my man and planning for the birth of my first child, not in a Yukon packed with dope and potentially on my way to the county jail.

  There was a tap on the window that took me out of my trance.

  I could hear Blood sighing with frustration as he rolled down the window.

  “Nathaniel Washington, so nice to see you.”

  I wanted to faint when I heard that the detective knew Blood by name.

  Then he told him, “Get yo’ ass out of the car!”

  A detective approached my side of the car as Blood got out. I looked at Blood for some sort of a sign or gesture, but he didn’t even look me in my eyes.

  The detective on my side tapped on the window and signaled for me to get out of the car as he held on to his pistol. Once he realized that I was very much pregnant, he stood down and helped me out of the truck.

  The first detective immediately took Blood to the back of the truck. The other detective stood with me at the front and started to grill me.

  “How do you know Nathaniel?”

  I was stuck. I didn’t know what Blood was telling the other detective, and I knew it was best for him that our stories matched.

  However, I just stuck with the story that Blood and I always said we would tell if ever in this situation. I hoped he remembered to do the same.

  “He’s my boyfriend.”

  “For how long?”

  “A few years.”

  He then asked, “Where are you all on your way to?”

  “Breakfast.”

  “Is that so?”

  “Yes sir.”

  “Do you know what Nathaniel does for a living?”

  “He’s a mechanic and owns a couple of properties.”

  The detective laughed sarcastically. “Oh really?”

  “Look, my back is hurting. Can I at least sit on the curb?”

  I was finished talking to this asshole. I was mad, irritated, and still very fucking hungry. I was so pissed at Blood for even bringing me with him. For the past couple of days he has been doing some reckless shit; making his own runs, allowing people to meet him at my house, and trusting new niggas because he can’t trust the old ones anymore. He was making big mistakes that were going to cost us both either our lives or our freedom.

  The detective wa
s nice enough to help me down to the curb. Then he walked towards the back of the truck where Blood and the other detective were still talking. I simply leaned against the fire hydrant next to me and began to pray. Once again, I was asking God to get me out of some mess that I knew I had no business being involved in. There I was, despite my education and career, sitting on a curb as onlookers stared at me like a poor pregnant lost cause associated with a criminal.

  As I prayed, two squad cars pulled up.Instantly I thought that God was either ignoring me or teaching me a lesson. I wanted to stand up, but there was so much pressure and discomfort in my back and pelvic area that I just sat there feeling paralyzed and waiting to see what happened next.

  A shadow came over me and interrupted my prayers. It was Blood and the detective. Blood was in handcuffs.

  “Sit right here next to your baby’s mama,” the detective said with an evil laugh.

  He pushed Blood down with so much force that Blood nearly landed on top of me. Then he walked away.

  “Start searching the back,” I heard him tell the four cops that jumped out of the squad cars.

  My face got hot, and I got nauseous.

  “They’re about to search the car,” I realized out loud.

  Blood tried to calm me down. “They not gone find shit.”

  “How do you know?”

  “They not gone find shit.”

  “Can you say something else to make me believe that, please?!”

  But I could look in his face and tell that he didn’t believe his words his damn self. He looked flushed and nervous, which made me queasy. His nervousness meant that he didn’t have faith in himself to get us out of this while he was trying to instill that faith in me.

  “I’ll make sure nothing happens to you,” he told me.

  I already knew that Blood would try his best to take care of me, to make sure that I walk away from anything criminal that involved him.

  But there was nothing to stop these detectives from being the assholes that they are and taking me in anyway, despite what Blood tells them.

  “If they take me in, call Smith as soon as you can. Tell him to call my lawyer.”

  It sounded as if Blood was telling me his last words and that made my heart sink. Though Blood and I do not have a sexual relationship, we have a deeper connection, one that is both emotional and physical. He’s like my brother-husband, the man that takes care of and loves me like the big brother and husband that I never had.

  I simply nodded okay and lay my hand on his leg trying to soothe the anxiety that I could swear I saw beating out of his chest. I admired him for trying to still be my protector and appear so manly, though I knew in his heart he was scared and felt weak.

  For the next twenty minutes, we sat like targets and waited. The four officers tore up the truck. They used tools to pry off door parts and to open the floors in the front and back seats.

  Then there were shadows over us again.

  “Get the fuck up!” The first detective was barking orders. “You too, missy. Get the fuck up!”

  “Hey, don’t talk to her like that,” Blood demanded.

  The first detective sneered at Blood’s audacity as he stood. The second detective helped me from the ground. Then he handed me the keys to the truck.

  “Go home, ma’am,” he told me quietly.

  “Boy, I talk to her any way I gawd damn please, motherfucka,” the first detective spit at Blood. “Now get your ass in the car. You’re coming with us, part’na!”

  Once again, I watched Blood for some sort of sign telling me what to do or say. He simply leaned his head toward the truck, which meant to hurry up, get in, and go home.

  VICTORIA

  Taij looked so good this morning. I see him in business casual clothes all the time, so to see him in his slacks, a button down, and a tie for church wasn’t a change.

  I think what more so turned me on was just seeing him sit on the pew with a Bible in his hand as he held DeSire.

  Being at church with him made me miss having a family. Though Taij is still very much in our lives and I have dated here and there-and everywhere- there is a big difference in having the comfort of family. That was something I craved as a child and wanted to be sure that I provided for my children when I had them.

  I felt bad that I was unable to keep Taij’s attention so that our family was never broken, not only for DeSire’s sake, but for my own as well. I needed Taij as the man in our home just as much as she will in the future.

  Having him play that role part-time only makes me miss his presence even more. However, I wondered whether it was the presence of a man that I missed or Taij specifically.

  I’m still waiting on God to give me that answer.

  As Lynn and the rest of the praise team sang “Jesus Be a Fence”, Lynn smiled at me. I didn’t know whether she was simply smiling at me or smiling at the fact that Taij actually came to church. Many of the women were smiling at the fact that Taij came to church, but not in happiness for me. Church was like any school or work environment when it came to gamesof the opposite sex. The only difference is that there is more Jesus involved, ironically. Many of the women in this church are single and waiting on “God to send them a husband”. Honestly, this includes me too. Therefore, any man that walks in here without a woman on his arm is fresh meat and will be attacked by these vultures as soon as benediction is over.

  Because of that, I quickly escorted Taij out of church as soon as we were dismissed. I didn’t even speak to Lynn, Travis, and the kids.

  “Thank you for coming today,” I told Taij as he started the car.

  “You don’t have to thank me. I asked to come, remember?”

  “You’re right.”

  I was somewhat embarrassed at my lame attempt to start conversation with him. Something in me wanted to have more than parental chats with him. There was also something in me that wanted to just be quiet and keep my guard up.

  “That was cool,” Taij expressed as he pulled off.

  “You say it like you thought it wasn’t going to be.”

  “I haven’t been to church since I was a kid. I thought the church was going to catch on fire when I walked in,” he replied with a chuckle. “But it was cool. Made me feel good.”

  “That’s great.”

  “And I was happy to be there with DeSire. I saw all the other dads with their families. I want to be there for DeSire like that.”

  “Oh, really?” Once again, there was a battle going on in me; wanting to hear him say that he misses his family as well and wanting to run away from the feeling all together.

  “Yea,” he answered. “I mean, I know we aren’t together, but I’m glad we’re friends now. I’m able to spend as much time with my daughter as I want to because you and I finally have a good friendship. I’m very grateful for that.”

  Oh hell! Not the“friend” word.

  That was a reality check. I instantly discounted any feelings that I thought wanted to resurface. On cue, I built that wall back up around my heart and told myself to exist in the situation for what it is and not what it could be.

  I needed to be this stern because hurting from this love was like experiencing the worst of life’s pain over and over again. I loved Taij with all that I had. I was his love, life, sex, and defense attorney. I cooked, cleaned, risked losing everything, and cursed anyone who thought he wasn’t worth it.

  Losing that because of Taij’s lack of respect brought back the nauseating feeling that I had in the middle of the night as my father lay next to me taking advantage of my femininity. Losing Taij felt like I was being molested all over again.

  For years, I was a pupil of him and ignored the other aspects of my life. I can no longer live my life under and through Taij. It is so easy to fall back into that comfort when he’s always around with his muscles and chocolate skin being an adoring dad and excellent helpmate.

  However, my heart cannot confuse my mind into thinking that he is being anything more than a good
father.

  LYRIC

  “Bitch, you ain’t shit.”

  Cory cursed me as I roamed the bra section of Frederick’s of Hollywood. We were at Westfield Mall doing some light shopping to pass the time.

  I just told Cory about the early morning hours that Jelani and I spent against my car bringing in dawn.

  “I beg your pardon?”

  “You don’t have to beg a gawd damn thing,” Cory replied. “You heard me.”

  “How am I wrong for sleeping with a man that I have been sleeping with for months?”

  “Because the chick he’s married to wasn’t nowhere around!” Cory continued to fuss as he followed close behind me. “Now let’s cut the bullshit and cross the T where it needs to be crossed! You. Ain’t. Shit! Your role is to be an assistant of some sort, a gesture, or a toy in their little fantasy. Not fucking your homegirl’s husband outside in the middle of the night like Tarzan!”

  “She is not my homegirl.”

  Cory dramatically swung invisible hair. “Oooooh! Now she’s not your homegirl! Now she’s just some stranger heifer!”

  “She’s someone that I have been dating for a few months,” I corrected him. “And so is her husband.”

  “Oooo, you ain’t shiiiiit,” he sang as he pretended to shake with the creeps.

  I laughed and argued, “Whateva!”

  “I can kinda get why he wants you though,” Cory replied.

  “Oh really?”

  “Yes. I’ve met Miss Evette and she isn’t all that. I mean, she’s cute and all, but there is no humph, no pizzazz, no diva! She’s so blasé. She’s like plain low-calorie yogurt. You know, those off-brand ones at Aldi’s that are only fifty-nine cents a piece.”

  I started to crack up at his analogy.

  “But you’re like two-flavor frozen yogurt with all the toppings; with strawberries, granola, and all types of other shit.”

  “Wow,” I said with a laugh. “How about he slept with me because he’s been sleeping with me, but wanted the chance to fuck me how he wants to without her watching with her disciplinary eye.”

  “See?! That’s something Two-Flavors would say!”