Just Once

by Rebecca Brooke

  The days went on. Joey continued to arrive before my parents and we’d cuddle on the bed together, with Joey excusing herself and moving to sit in a chair when they arrived. It would have been amusing if I didn’t miss her warmth so damn much. As Joey became more comfortable with my parents’ visits, she’d stay with me, although she’d maintain a respectful distance, rather than snuggling in close. I enjoyed that much more than when she moved to the chair. They were my parents and I loved them, yet in those first few days, I couldn’t wait for them to leave so I could have Joey back in my arms.

  The doctor had also been coming in every day. He was hoping to put the cast on soon and so was I. The raised sling was extremely uncomfortable. Of course, it also didn’t help that I worried about my leg being jostled too much.

  The door flew open. I expected it to be my doctor. Imagine my surprise when Greg and Tanner walked in my room, looking exhausted.

  “Damn, you look a hell of a lot better than the last time I saw you,” Tanner said, walking into the room with Nate in his arms. Danielle followed behind them, offering me a salute as she came in and closed the door.

  “When did you two get back?”

  “About an hour ago,” Greg said. “We wanted to come here first to check on you.”

  “Thanks. That means a lot.”

  “How’s the leg?” Greg gestured toward the sling.

  “Not bad. They think they’ll be able to cast it today or tomorrow.”

  Tanner handed Nate to Danielle and walked up to the bed. “Not bad, huh? A lot of pain?”

  “None at all,” Joey said. “That’s a good sign, right?”

  Tanner turned to face me, his eyes boring into mine as he answered Joey’s question. “Yes. No pain would be a good sign, if that person actually felt no pain. But, I have a feeling Colin’s been lying to everyone about it.”

  Joey sat up so fast, her ponytail flew around and smacked her in the face. “Have you been lying about your pain levels?”

  “It’s not that bad.” I did my best, hoping that would calm her down.

  “Yeah. I’m pretty sure he’s lying about that too.”

  The door opened and the doctor came in.

  Saved by the bell.

  Joey got off the bed carefully, taking a seat next to the bed. The doctor smiled at her and then said, “We’re going to wheel you down the hall in your bed. I don’t want to move you, but it’s time to cast that leg. Good news is, a cast means you can go home.”

  “That sounds perfect to me.”

  “Excuse me, sir.” I shot Tanner a look but he kept talking. “Sgt. Dunham’s been lying to you about his pain level.”

  The doctor chuckled. “Oh, I know he has. He’s not the first to do it, and he won’t be the last. I’ve had the nurses administer the pain meds through his IV. Everyone thinks that if they’re not in pain, they’ll get out of here faster.”

  “Goddamn it.” I cursed under my breath, frustrated at having been called out.

  “Did everyone know but me?” Joey asked, appalled at the thought.

  “I didn’t. Then again, I never heard him tell the doctor that,” Danielle spoke up.

  The doctor laughed and held open the door. “It doesn’t matter. Let’s get you casted.”

  Two of the nurses came to wheel me down the hall. Everyone promised to be there when I got back. I wasn’t too sure about Joey. She had fire in her eyes. I knew she was mad that I’d lied and I had a feeling there would be some explaining to do once we were alone again.

  It only took about forty minutes to get the cast set. The most frustrating part was the fact that it came up to my hip all the way down to my ankle. If this was supposed to allow more movement, I didn’t see how. I would barely be able to use crutches with it on.

  They wheeled me back into the room and I searched for the only face that mattered. Her blue eyes stood out from the rest and although they still held a spark, she looked as relieved to see me as I was her. Perhaps I would get away with it after all?

  Joey looked me up and down and when she seemed sure I was okay, she raised an eyebrow and narrowed her eyes at me, her lips pursing in a way that she thought was menacing but really it just made her seem even hotter. I gave a shrug and she dropped her guard, letting the edges of her lips quirk upward.

  I was off the hook.

  Things were starting to look up. Joey hadn’t left and I’d be on my way home in a few hours.

  Chapter 19

  Joey

  It seemed as though I’d been stuck in that sling forever. I couldn’t wait to visit Colin later. It was hard not to notice him staring at my arm every time he thought I wasn’t looking. I’d caught him a few times, but he’d quickly advert his face, a shadow crossing over his eyes and I knew he was thinking back to what happened and my choice to take the bullet meant for him. He tried to hide how unhappy it made him. Whether it was to keep me from getting upset with him or if he was trying to push away the memories, I still couldn’t be sure.

  He was also struggling with being in the hospital. He didn’t want the food, or he’d complain about the channels they offered—he even stopped taking his pain meds to try and prove he was ready to go home.

  We all saw through the ruse. But his efforts saddened me. I didn’t want him hurting in an effort to prove to me that he was strong enough to leave. He didn’t have to prove a damn thing to me.

  I already thought he was one of the strongest people I’d ever met.

  The sounds of heavy breathing hit my ears when I opened the door. I sucked in a breath. I’d never been afraid of hard work before, and I wouldn’t start now. I introduced myself to the receptionist at the desk, who walked me over to my therapist.

  “Sgt. Josephine Brant, this is your therapist, Sgt. Derek Ward.”

  Sgt. Ward held his hand out to me. “Welcome, Sgt. Brant.” The receptionist returned to her desk. “You can call me Derek. No need for formalities here.”

  I nodded and smiled. “Nice to meet you, Derek. I’m Joey.”

  “Got it. Well, Joey, I’ve been through your records, but I need to do a quick movement test to see what exercises you’ll need to start with.

  “Okay.”

  He took me to an examination room and moved my arm in different directions. It was hard to keep the grimace off my face. I’d swear the actual bullet hurt less than the muscles being forced to move after they’d been stationary for so long. Derek made notes on the chart and took me out into the main workout area, where he pushed my shoulder further than he had in the examination room. Not wanting to delay my progress, I pushed through the pain and finished each exercise he gave me.

  After about an hour, he took me to his office. “You did well today, Joey. Just something to keep in mind . . .”

  “What’s that,” I asked, trying to recall if I had any Advil in the car. I was going to need it after all that.

  He slid his open hand forward, two white pills resting in his palm, followed by a glass of water. “Pain is good. It’s our body’s natural indicator that we could be pushing too hard.”

  I accepted the pills and chased them down with a sip of water. “I thought the goal was to push yourself.”

  “It is, but not beyond what your body is ready for. If you force it, you’ll delay your recovery time. Your body won’t be able to heal the existing damage because it will be working to repair the more recent strain.”

  He actually made a lot of sense. “So what do I do?”

  “You give therapy everything you have, but if something really causes you pain—like today—back off, tell me, and we’ll modify the exercise until your body is capable of doing it correctly.”

  “I can do that.”

  “Good. I want to see you three times a week for the next two weeks. We’ll reevaluate after that, see if we can take away a day.”

  “Sounds good to me.” I stood and set the glass on the desk. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome. Make sure you set up your appointments before you l
eave.”

  “I will. I’ll see you in two days.”

  “Have a good night, Joey.”

  “You too.”

  I walked out to the receptionist to make my appointments, eager to see Colin. My plan had been to head right over to his apartment, but I decided to stop and get a few things on the way.

  With the groceries bags in both hands, I did my best to knock on the door without dropping anything. Considering Colin hated the hospital food, I thought it might be nice to have a home cooked meal. The door swung open to reveal Greg’s smiling face. I could have smacked myself when I realized how hard it would be for Colin to answer the door.

  “Joey.” He held the door open for me. “Come on in.”

  Greg took the bags from me. And I went in search of Colin. Crystal blues eyes caught my attention from the couch, something still hiding in their depths, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. I decided to ignore it. He’d only been home for a few days. He was probably exhausted. A little voice in the back of my head protested that it was so much more but for one night, I wanted to ignore all the bullshit. Was it too much to ask to have a single night where we could simply be a man and woman enjoying an evening together?

  “Hi,” he said, the corner of his mouth lifting up to a grin.

  “Hi.” It seemed so different; to be surrounded by normalcy when for the last few weeks our lives had been entrenched in chaos. My emotions overcame me all at once. Unable to focus on one over the other, I froze in my spot, trapped by his gaze.

  Those same emotions swirled in his eyes. So many feelings, we were drowning in them. Or maybe we just wanted to drown in each other.

  “I’m heading out to—” Greg’s gaze moved between the two of us, tension I hadn’t originally seen leaking from his shoulders. He smiled and turned to grab his coat. “I’ll be at Tanner’s if you need me.” He winked and out the door he went.

  Colin’s head dropped forward and his shoulders began to shake. I started to dart around the couch to check on him, when I heard the snort. Under normal circumstances I would have recognized laughter, but there had been so little of it of late, it was hard to see it when it was there. The ridiculousness of my reaction and Greg’s look before he left hit me all at once and laughter poured from my lips. I settled myself on the couch next to Colin, careful not to jostle his leg, which rested on the table in front of him.

  “I needed that,” Colin said, winded.

  I dropped against the back of the couch, trying to catch my breath. Colin joined me and for a few moments we watched each other, his warm fingers tracing my cheek down to my—now free—shoulder.

  “You have no idea how much better I feel seeing you without the splint.”

  “Probably as good as I feel not having to wear it anymore.”

  His hand made its way around my neck, pulling me forward until our mouths touched. Sparks of electricity coursed through me the longer we kissed. His tongue slipped between my lips, the deeper connection blocking out everything around us until it was just me, him, and a kiss that would have brought me to my knees if I’d been standing.

  When our lips parted I felt the loss like a physical pain. I was leaning forward again when my stomach rumbled, grabbing my attention.

  “Hungry?” he asked with a smirk.

  “A little. I didn’t expect therapy to be so hard.”

  The way he gently brushed a few stray pieces of hair made my heart melt. Never in my life had there been a man who worried and cared about me the way Colin did. It was an addictive feeling. I wanted every day to be like that.

  “I brought stuff to make dinner.”

  The twinkle in his eyes dulled. “You don’t have to do that. I should be cooking for you.” His eyes slid closed. “But since I can’t, I can order us something.” He opened his eyes and pulled out his phone.

  I pressed a brief kiss. “Me cooking has nothing to do with your leg. I like it. Please let me make you something? Everything’s already in the kitchen.”

  He searched my eyes and finally nodded. I stood. “Let me get everything started and in the oven and I’ll be right back.”

  The apartment had a similar setup to mine so it was easy to find the kitchen. The pans I needed were a different story. I rifled through the cupboards, not wanting to be away from Colin long. He hadn’t looked happy about me cooking for him. I thought back to the first dinner we had in the mess tent when he took my tray. He mentioned something about taking me out to dinner. Could he really be upset about that? Didn’t he understand that I’d want to stay home? We’d had plenty of time in ‘public.’ It was time for us to be alone for a while.

  I placed dinner in the oven and went back to the living room. The TV was on and at first glance it looked as though Colin was engrossed in the show about remodeling cars, but I knew his mind was somewhere else. He wouldn’t have been able to tell you the color of the car on the screen.

  I took the seat next to him and slipped my hand into his. He squeezed my fingers, but stayed quiet. I wanted to say something; to push him to talk about whatever it was that was bothering him so much. But with so much going on for him right now, I knew I had to let it slide. Besides, he’d promised he wouldn’t shut me out again. Perhaps he just needed to work it out in his own head first.

  We sat like that until the timer for dinner went off. I brought the plates and a couple of drinks out to where we sat on the couch, my chest tightening a little bit more with each passing moment of silence, all my hopes for the evening slowly dying as he pushed the food around on his plate, taking a bit here and there. When we finished eating, I took his plate with mine and set it on the table in front of us and watched him.

  I figured it was probably time for me to head back to my place. I’d had enough of the silent treatment, and the night had gone to shit anyway. I gathered the plates and cups and stacked them in the dishwasher. I went back to say good-bye to Colin and for a moment, I stood in the doorway and watched him. He hadn’t moved from his spot.

  I considered stomping my feet on the ground but if there was any way to make the evening worse, it would be by going down that road. So I collected the rest of my stuff, not hiding the fact that I was unhappy. For weeks he’d sat in that hospital bed and complained that he wanted to go home, excitedly anticipating us spending time without interruption from visitors and nurses and everything else being at the hospital brought with it. They’d finally casted his leg and sent him home. We had more space to be ourselves, like a real couple, yet in truth, I’d never felt further from him. Not even when he was in Germany. It appeared emotional distance trumped physical distance every time.

  “I guess I’ll see you later,” I said, walking toward the door, not bothering to stop at the couch.

  Colin’s hand shot out and took hold of mine. “Don’t leave. Please.”

  There was a vulnerability to his voice that made me pause. I twisted around to see his face.

  “I’m sorry I was a dick tonight. I got lost in my head. It’s hard to watch you doing everything for me when I’m used to taking care of myself.”

  I tried to pull away. “Are we back to you thinking you need to take care of me?”

  He held tight. “No. It’s even hard for me when Greg, Tanner, and Danielle help. I know I need it . . . it’s just hard to get used to.”

  Colin was a proud man—I knew that. For him to admit that he was struggling was a big deal. I moved back to sit next to him. “I told you before I didn’t cook for that reason. It’s something I wanted to do. Something I would have done even if you were healthy.”

  “I know, I’m sorry. I don’t want you to leave yet.”

  Colin brought his mouth down on mine. Our kiss earlier was nothing compared to the fire that erupted between us. Like the night we met the sexual tension wrapped around us both, his hand plunging into my hair, holding my lips to his while his tongue explored every inch of my mouth. Desperate to feel his skin against mine, I traced the bottom of his T-shirt until my fingers slipped beneath
the hem and my fingertips met firm muscle.

  My hands curled around the bottom of the shirt and pulled it over his head, dropping it somewhere on the floor behind me. Our lips parted again as Colin divested me of my own shirt and bra. Tired of being so close yet so far, I straddled him, wanting to take charge—to remind him of that night so long ago.

  His tongue danced with mine while his thumbs circled my nipples, the sensitive buds tightening beneath his touch, and need shot straight to my clit. My hips snapped forward, grinding into his already hard cock. The sweats he wore let me feel every part of him through the clothing.

  “Oh God, Joey. I need you so bad. I just—”

  I covered his lips with my finger. “I’ve got this. Don’t worry.”

  “Mmm . . .” He kissed the hollow of my throat and down my chest, where his tongue took the place of his fingers.

  I sunk my fingers into his thick black hair, holding him to me as he lavished first one breast and then the other. My body screamed for more.

  “Lift,” I whispered, and as soon as he did, I pulled the waistband down just far enough to free his cock.

  The thick length bobbed against his stomach, as his hand slid over my mound and his fingers slipped between my lips to toy with my clit, and in that second I knew I didn’t need to remind him of that night. With only that one night to go by, Colin somehow remembered exactly how I liked to be touched, the small, quick circles his fingers made bringing me to the peak faster than I ever thought possible. My thighs clenched around his hips, arching my back with my cry of ecstasy. Somewhere in the back of my mind I worried about hurting his leg, but with the way he encouraged my hips to rise so he could enter me, I highly doubted it.

  “We don’t have a condom,” he panted.

  “We’re both clean.” We had to be if we wanted to stay in the Army. “And I’m on the pill.”

  In one long, slow stroke Colin’s body connected with mine. The feeling of him inside me was like no other. Full and empty at the same time.

  Placing my hands on his shoulders, I lifted my hips up and down on Colin. I might have just come, but my body was begging for it once again, and with the incoherent moans that slipped past his lips as I rode him harder and harder, his fingers digging into my hips, his strokes becoming wild and reckless, I knew I wasn’t the only one.