Apple's Angst

by Rebecca Eckler

  Apple smiled at Michael warmly.

  “I can’t believe a guy like you is single! You’re so sweet and nice,” Apple said.

  “Me neither! I’m such a catch!” Michael said, and they laughed.

  “You need to put things in perspective,” he continued. “You’re young! You have your whole life in front of you. This is just a bad day. Come on, I can’t have my star employee in tears. You need to have some fun. Do you have any big parties to go to?”

  “Well, I have my aunt’s wedding,” Apple said. “It’s not exactly a party. It’s more like a function.”

  “Oh, weddings. Everyone always says you meet people at weddings. Not me! I’m usually stuck at the senior citizens’ table or the kids’ table. People don’t know what to do with me,” Michael said.

  “Actually, my parents met at a wedding,” Apple told Michael, her tears drying up. “And now they’ve been married for twenty years!”

  “Dr. Bee Bee Berg met her husband at a wedding?” Michael asked. “Interesting.”

  “You know, you should come,” Apple announced, as if she had just come up with the most brilliant of ideas.

  “To your aunt’s wedding? Won’t she wonder who I am and what I’m doing there?” Michael asked, laughing.

  “No. She invited her garbage collector this morning. Trust me, she won’t notice and she won’t care,” Apple said.

  Apple could tell Michael needed prodding.

  “Come on! You can meet my mother,” Apple teased. “And who knows, you might even meet someone special. If it happened to my mother, it could happen to you. Plus I don’t think anyone there is going to be looking for press in Angst magazine! My aunt is going to make sure she’s the only topic of conversation that day. Trust me.”

  Michael nodded slowly.

  “Please, Michael. It will cheer me up if you come,” Apple begged. “For me, please? You’ll come?”

  “For you,” he said. “But it’s kind of strange.”

  “So what?” Apple said, and told him she’d e-mail him the details. “Just fawn over my aunt and it will all be good. And like I said, you might meet someone!”

  “Well, I guess you never know,” Michael said, though he didn’t sound very convinced.

  Apple smiled and made a mental note to tell her aunt there was one more guest. She knew her aunt wouldn’t mind.

  When she got back to the dungeon, Emme was eagerly waiting to hear the news about the meeting with Fancy Nancy. Apple was to mortified to tell her what Fancy Nancy had said.

  “She said she’d take it into consideration,” Apple told her, lying through her teeth.

  “Well, that’s not bad! In fact, that’s good! We should go celebrate tonight!”

  Though that was the last thing Apple felt like doing—she felt like going home and crying—she had to put on a brave face.

  “You go home,” said Emme, practically shooing Apple out. “And I’ll finish up here. And then we’ll all meet up later.”

  Thank God for Emme, thought Apple. Apple didn’t want to be at Angst. She didn’t want to worry about running into Fancy Nancy, that was for certain.

  When Apple came downstairs from her nap, her mother, aunt, father, and Guy were all sitting around, looking serious. Apple wondered if something bad had happened.

  “What’s up?” Apple asked glassy-eyed.

  “You tell us,” her mother said.

  “Oh, is this because I’m home right now? I wasn’t feeling well, so I came home from work early,” said Apple. “I think I may be coming down with something.”

  They all glanced at each other.

  “What?” Apple asked. Why was everyone looking at her like she had grown a third head?

  “I said, ‘What?’” Apple asked impatiently.

  “Come down, honey,” her father said, looking at her mother for backup.

  “Don’t ‘honey’ her,” her mother jumped in. “She missed a math exam!”

  “And she hasn’t been going to classes,” her aunt added.

  “Who are you? The police?” Apple asked, looking at her aunt. “How do you know what I’ve been doing?”

  “Um, remember my fiancé?” her aunt said. “He’s in the know, you know! He said a lot of the teachers are worried about you, not just him.”

  “Right. So just because you’re marrying my math teacher you get to find out what I’ve been doing? It’s so not fair,” Apple huffed.

  “Well, life isn’t fair,” her mother said.

  Apple rolled her eyes.

  “It’s an invasion of privacy,” Apple continued. “No one else is being spied on by her teacher!”

  “Tonight you are staying in. Hazel spoke to Jim and he said you could make up the test. So tonight you are in and studying,” her mother said. “You’re lucky you’re getting this second chance.”

  “Yeah!” threw in Hazel. “I had to beg him to let you do this.”

  “I have plans,” Apple said, looking her mother directly in the eyes.

  “Cancel them,” her mother said, looking Apple straight in the eyes.

  “I’m not canceling them,” Apple said.

  “Apple, you’re grounded,” her mother said.

  “Does that mean I don’t have to go to Aunt Hazel’s wedding next week?” Apple asked.

  “I don’t know who you think you are, but you had better get your life in order, Apple. I don’t like what you’re becoming. Do you?” her mother asked.

  “This is what people do. If you actually tuned in to modern society, you’d know that it’s not about work all the time,” Apple said.

  “Yes, it is,” said her mother. “But school comes first. If your grades don’t pick up, or you miss one more exam, I’m going to have to put my foot down and you won’t be allowed to go to Angst even for work.”

  “You can’t do that!” Apple said. “Part of the job is going out! Don’t you know that?”

  “I don’t think it’s part of the job,” said her mother. “I’m going to call Nancy.”

  Apple looked at her mother with horror. Who did her mother think she was?

  “Mother!” Apple screamed. “You’d better not call her! You don’t know anything! You don’t even know that your wardrobe is out of style! There are more colors out there than white!”

  Apple stormed out of the kitchen. She could see that her mother was going to come after her, and she saw her father pull her mother’s arm to hold her back.

  Apple jumped into the shower. She didn’t want to hear her parents and her aunt “discussing” her, though she knew that was exactly what they were doing.

  After her parents went to sleep, Apple snuck out of the house. She was happy that they always went to bed early. Sloan had, finally, sent a short note saying he may be going to the club they had gone to a couple nights earlier but wasn’t exactly sure when he was getting out of work. Apple felt like Sloan was pulling back from her, but she plastered on a smile for her friends. Emme had come, and so had Happy and Brooklyn. She could barely muster up the energy to admit her worries to Happy and Emme when they asked Apple where her “boyfriend” was. She just shrugged and said, “He’ll come.”

  When Apple saw Sloan come into the club, she felt a huge sense of relief. She may have almost lost her job, but losing her new boyfriend on the same day would be too much. So what if Sloan was hanging out with a bunch of girls? Happy noticed the distressed look on Apple’s face when she saw him surrounded and told her that it was part of his job to be nice to fans.

  When Apple finally got Sloan alone, she asked him, bluntly, if he’d like to be her date for her aunt’s wedding. She pretended not to be bothered that it had taken him almost thirty minutes to come up to her. And even when she found herself talking to him alone, it felt like she was being rushed.

  “Like, a date, date?” Sloan asked.

  “Well, yes, my date,” Apple said.

  “I’m not sure about weddings. That’s quite a serious commitment,” said Sloan. Apple knew Sloan was acting fa
r from eager. He was acting, in fact, as if he would rather stay at home and do nothing than to be her date at Hazel’s wedding.

  “Please,” Apple heard herself beg. “Please come with me.”

  Sloan refused to commit.

  She couldn’t believe this day. Everything was off, from the warning from Fancy Nancy to her parents’ lecturing her, to everything! And now Sloan wouldn’t commit to being her date at her aunt’s wedding.

  “Well, I guess I should go,” Apple said, trying to catch Sloan’s eye. She tried not to let it bother her when he barely acknowledged she was leaving, especially right in front of her friends. Apple wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he had had a bad day too, she thought.

  She told Sloan that she would call him tomorrow, but he didn’t seem to hear her. He was too busy laughing over something Happy, or someone else, had just said.

  “He hit on me,” Happy told Apple at the Spiral Staircase the next morning.

  “What are you talking about?” Apple asked, trying not to sound as grumpy as she felt.

  “Sloan. Right after you left,” Happy said.

  “Sloan hit on you?” Apple asked. “Sloan Starr hit on you?”

  “Yes, Sloan Starr. Who else named Sloan do we know? Of course Sloan Starr,” Happy said.

  “I’m so sick of hearing his name,” Brooklyn said. “He’s like the opposite of Britney and Madonna. He’s known by two names.”

  Happy laughed. Apple didn’t.

  “Come on! It’s funny,” Happy said to Apple. “Brooklyn is right. I so can’t picture him just as a Sloan. He’s such a Sloan Starr!”

  “I don’t think it’s so funny that my boyfriend was hitting on you,” Apple said. “And don’t make fun of his name!”

  Happy snorted loudly.

  “He’s so not your boyfriend,” she told Apple.

  “What do you mean?” Apple asked. “We’ve been out a lot. Our picture was taken together a lot of times. Everyone thinks he’s my boyfriend. He’s going to be my date for Hazel’s wedding.”

  Apple knew the last part wasn’t exactly true. In fact, it was a downright lie. But Apple still had a few days to work on him. She knew that there was time to convince Sloan Starr that going to the wedding with her wouldn’t be that big a deal. She would even tell him that he’d get to meet her mother, if that’s what it would take. Apple pictured them walking into the reception arm in arm. She also made a mental note to ask Celia to restraighten her hair. It was starting to get wavy, another thing to add to Apple’s plate of worries. She just couldn’t, or didn’t want to, believe that Sloan Starr had hit on Happy.

  “He was hitting on me! Right in front of everyone. You left, so you didn’t see. But he asked for my digits. He said he could get me a meeting with some casting directors,” Happy said. She didn’t seem to notice that these words pained Apple.

  “Maybe he was just being nice. Maybe he really was trying to help you,” Apple suggested.

  “Trust me, I know when someone is just being nice and when they’re trying to get with me,” said Happy knowingly, picking a piece of fluff from her dress.

  “Well, you don’t know everything,” muttered Apple.

  “What did you just say?” Happy demanded.

  “Come on, guys,” Brooklyn said. “Let’s not turn this into something it’s not.”

  “It’s called reality, and Apple needs a reality check—and fast,” said Happy.

  Zen, Hopper, and everyone else sitting on the Spiral Staircase around them, including Lyon, suddenly became silent. They couldn’t believe what they were witnessing.

  “You need a reality check,” retorted Apple.

  “No, you do!” Happy said, grabbing her bag and standing up taller.

  “Guys, stop!” pleaded Brooklyn in a meek voice.

  “I’m not stating anything that’s not entirely obvious to everyone except precious Apple. Oh, we wouldn’t want to hurt Apple’s feelings,” mimicked Happy. “Oh, Apple, the celebrity. Oh, we can’t tell her THE TRUTH! She doesn’t tell the TRUTH! I know you kissed Zen. You think I don’t know? Emme called me and told me! Yeah, your good friend Emme!” Happy said, her voice rising. “I told you she was shady and you wouldn’t listen. I’ve been keeping it in because I didn’t really care and I thought you’d eventually tell me. But you were never going to, were you?”

  Apple’s mind immediately went to Lyon and his reaction. She thought he’d be so hurt by hearing this, especially this way, that it didn’t register that Happy had said Emme had told her. She looked quickly at Lyon, who didn’t look hurt or jealous. He looked like he felt sorry for Apple, which made Apple even angrier. Why did a nobody like Lyon feel sorry for her? She was the one whose face was plastered everywhere. She was the one hanging out with fashionable new friends. She was the one having all the fun.

  Why did she care so much about what Lyon thought?

  “Okay, that’s enough, Happy,” Apple responded, her voice rising as well. “You’re the one who can’t see the truth. You’re the one who can’t accept the fact that I have a great job and new friends, and that for the first time I’m the one in the spotlight. And you cheated on Zen with that guy at your therapist’s office! So you can’t be a hypocrite. Who are you to talk!”

  Zen looked shocked, as did Happy, as did Brooklyn. Not only was Apple yelling, she had divulged a big secret.

  “Well, Zen doesn’t care. He has a foolie friend in Emme!” Happy finally sputtered out.

  “What?” screeched Apple. She looked at Zen, who looked to the ground slyly while Hopper pounded him on the back and said, “Way to go, man!”

  “Emme told me that last night. Didn’t you know?” Happy said, egging Apple on. “Apparently, they’ve been foolie friends for weeks!”

  Could that be true? Was that the reason Zen hadn’t been in touch with her? Had it had nothing to do with the fact that he didn’t know what to say to Apple and everything to do with the fact that he was fooling around with Emme? Or was Happy just trying to ruin Apple’s friendship with Emme? Happy hadn’t liked Emme from the start. There was no way that this was true.

  “You’re such a liar, Happy,” Apple screamed. She could feel her face bursting red. “You’ll do anything to be the center of attention.”

  Happy was so mad, she raised a finger, as if to shake it at Apple. Instead, she just stormed off. Apple looked at Zen for confirmation of what Happy had just said. But he refused to look at her. Apple stormed off too, leaving Brooklyn meditating on her mat, Lyon looking stunned, Hopper shaking his head, Zen looking sly, and the rest of the school whispering.

  “Hey, babe. I see you got into a fight today with your best friend,” said Sloan. Apple was sitting behind her desk at Angst. Every time she thought of her fight with Happy—which was every second—she shook so hard she was still furious. Every time she thought of Happy, her heart raced and she broke out in a sweat. She needed to talk to Emme, who, for the first time, wasn’t at the office before Apple. She hadn’t returned any of Apple’s desperate messages either.

  “Hey! I thought you’d never call me back. I’ve left you, like, four messages today,” said Apple. She knew she sounded like a nag, but she couldn’t help it. “What are you talking about, a fight with my best friend?”

  “Are you in front of your computer?” Sloan asked.

  “Yes. I’m at work,” Apple responded.

  Sloan told her to type in a Web address.

  Apple typed in the address and couldn’t believe her eyes. There was a photograph of her and Happy. Happy was pointing in her face, looking furious. Only Happy could pull off looking so beautiful while being mad. Before Apple remembered that she was furious at her, she felt a moment of pride for her friend.

  “Where did they get that?” Apple wondered. The photograph was obviously taken during the scene at school that day.

  “Someone must have taken it with their cell phone,” Sloan said.

  She read the caption: “Teen advice columnist needs help!” />
  “This is awful,” said Apple. “I think I’m going to cry.”

  “Don’t cry. All press is good press,” said Sloan. “You know you’ve made it when you’re on this website.”

  “Well, do I look okay?” Apple said.

  “You look gorgeous,” Sloan said. “But, babe, I got to go.”

  “So you want to take me out tonight and make me forget this awful day?” Apple asked.

  “I wish, but I don’t think I should be seen with you right now,” Sloan said.

  Apple couldn’t believe it. Sloan didn’t even pretend that he was sad about this. She couldn’t believe that not only had he become so hard to get in touch with, but he didn’t even want to be seen with her.

  “What do you mean? You just told me that all press is good press.”

  “Well, maybe not all press,” said Sloan. “I’ll catch up with you sometime. Maybe I’ll see you around.”

  “What about the—” But Apple didn’t get the chance to ask Sloan if he would be her date for her aunt’s wedding, even as a favor. He had already hung up.

  When the e-mail popped up in her inbox from Fancy Nancy, Apple really wasn’t even all that shocked.

  “Oh, Apple, I’m so sorry!” cried Michael. Apple was walking home. She had seen that it was an Angst number on her phone and thought it might be Fancy Nancy, telling her that she had changed her mind, that she had made a mistake. It wasn’t.

  “I had no idea what was going on. Nancy just told me that Emme came to see her, and then she told me that she had fired you! Over e-mail! Anyway, tell me Emme is lying! Please tell me,” Michael begged. Obviously, it had gotten back to Michael that Emme had ratted Apple out, had gone to Fancy Nancy and told her that she had been doing the Apple’s Angst column for weeks.

  “She’s not. I deserved to be fired,” Apple said. She was walking at a snail’s pace. She couldn’t believe that Emme was so evil. She knew, in her gut, that it was also true she had been fooling around with Zen all this time.

  “Oh, Apple! I feel awful,” Michael moaned.

  “Why do you feel awful? I’m the one who did it,” Apple said quietly. She wasn’t sure what she felt worse about—that Emme had done all of that to her, or that she had let Emme do Apple’s Angst in the first place. Apple may have been naive when it came to Emme, but she had agreed to let Emme do her work. She had only herself to blame for that.