Barjack and the Unwelcome Ghost

by Robert J Conley

  Butcher stepped up right behint the nearest one and whopped him hard over the head with his shooter, and then done the same thing to the other one. It sounded like as if someone had dropped one flour sack right after another one whenever they hit the floor. “All right,” I said, “get them on over to the jail and lock them up.” Butcher recruited a couple a’ the customers to help, and they hauled the bastards out. I went back and set down right next to ole Bonnie, and Aubrey already had me a drink set up. I tuck it up right away and had me a slurp.

  “Who was they?” I ast Bonnie.

  “I don’t know, Barjack,” she said. “I think they’re local, though. I think I seen them in here before.”

  “They weren’t good shots,” said Dingle. He was a-scribbling as usual.

  “What the hell are you a-writing, Scribbler?” I ast.

  “Just taking notes is all, Barjack,” he answered. “I don’t have a new story line yet.”

  I drank down about half a’ my whiskey, and ole Peester come a walking in. It was a kinder unusual thing for our esteemed mayor to grace our establishment. Ole Bonnie stood up and give him a real big smile and said, “Mr. Mayor Peester, welcome. Come on over here and set with us.” Peester come on over, and Bonnie pulled him out a chair, and he set in it. She waved at Aubrey and he come over to see what the pettifogging mayor might want. I ordered him a shot a’ my own favorite whiskey, and he never argued none, so Aubrey brung it to him.

  “Well, Mr. Pisster,” I said, “what the hell brings you in here?”

  He tuck a sip a’ whiskey and went to coughing. Final he got over it, and he looked up at me. There was tears in his eyes. “Sorry, Barjack,” he said. “What did you ask?”

  “I ast you what is it that brings you in here?”

  “Oh,” he said. “Oh yeah. Well, old moneybags over at the bank has put up a reward for that bank robber you’ve been chasing.”

  “He has, has he? Sounds like he don’t trust me to run the son of a bitch down.”

  “Oh no. It’s not that. You can collect the reward yourself, if you get the man.”

  “Is it dead or alive?” I ast.

  “Dead or alive,” he said.

  “How much?”

  “Two hundred dollars.”

  “That ain’t so much,” I said.

  “Maybe not to a rich man like you,” Peester said, “but it’s a lot of money to most folks in these parts.”

  “Well, hell,” I said, “maybe I’ll just let one a’ them get the son of a bitch and collect all a’ that loot then.”

  “As long as he gets got,” Peester said. “That’s all we care about.”

  “We’ll get him all right,” I said. “Don’t worry about that none.”

  “What makes you so sure?”

  “Why, shit, your orneriness,” I said, “he’s in town right now.”

  “He’s what?”

  “We know that for sure.”

  “Right here? Right in town? Now?”

  “That’s the gospel truth.”

  “Why aren’t you out arresting him?”

  “I don’t know exact where he’s at.”

  “But you know he’s in town?”

  “That’s right, your mayorness. You see, we was out tracking him, and his tracks swung around and led us right back here. In fact, I know for sure and certain that he’s been a-staying down with the Widder Rogers.”

  “Go down there and get him,” said Peester.

  “Now, stop your shouting,” I said. “I done went down there and he was out.”

  “Well—well, do something.”

  “I’ll just let that ree-ward take care a’ the problem,” I said.

  “That’s no attitude for you to take,” Peester blubbered. “You’re the law here, and it’s your job to apprehend that—that—what’s his name?”

  “Harm Cody is what he calls hisself, when he ain’t calling hisself Jones.”

  “Well, Harm is a good name for him. It’s your job to apprehend him, reward or no reward.”

  “All right, Peester,” I said, “since it’s my job, let me worry about it. Let me do it my own way, and you cut out interfering with me in the line a’ my duty.”

  “You just be sure that you get him,” Peester said. “And soon.”

  He drank down the rest a’ his whiskey and stood up to leave. I kinder stuck my leg out so that he would trip over it, and he did for sure, sprawling out on the floor on his face. He yelped whenever he fell down. I stood up and reached down to help him back up onto his feet.

  “Be careful, Mr. Mayoralty,” I said. “You might could hurt yourself thattaway.”

  He got on up and give me a dirty look. “You just remember what I said,” he tole me, and he stomped the whole way across the room and out the front door. If he coulda slammed the swinging doors, he woulda. He did run smack into Happy as him and Butcher was coming back in. Bonnie slugged the shit outta my shoulder.

  “Ow,” I said. “What the hell was that for?”

  “You tripped him over on purpose,” she said.

  “So what?”

  “He’s our mayor, Barjack.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  “Where the hell could that son of a bitch be hiding out in my town?” I ast myself out loud.

  “You talking about that Harm feller?” Bonnie said.

  “What?” I said, on account a’ I never even realized I had been talking out loud.

  “You was wondering where someone could be hiding,” she said. “Was you talking about Harm Cody?”

  “Oh. Yeah,” I said. “I can’t figger how the son of a bitch could be right here in town and no one know where the hell he’s at. He’s got hisself a room down to the Widder Rogers’s place, but he ain’t in it.”

  “There ain’t many places to hide out in town,” Bonnie said.

  “I left ole Happy to watch the damn place,” I said.

  “Well, Happy’ll get him, Barjack,” Bonnie said. “He’ll have to go back to his room sometime. Won’t he?”

  “You never know about a snake like that,” I said. “He might crawl back in the same hole he come out of and he might not.”

  I got to thinking real hard, and when I done that, I got to asking myself how come him to come back into Asininity in the first damn place. Ole Miller had said that he wanted revenge on me. Maybe so, I thunk. But maybe so, he also wanted to get rid of that Churkee, and maybe so he also wanted that there bank money what my posse had tuck back from him. So there was the bank money and me and Churkee. Well, ole Churkee come walking in just then too, and he come on back to my table to set down. Aubrey brung him a drink.

  “Churkee,” I said, “I been thinking ‘bout what you said about that Cody coming back here to town. If he comes a-looking for you or for me, I think we had ought to be together. So I want you to stick close to me from here on. Least, till we get his ass.”

  “All right, Barjack,” he said. “That makes sense to me. But what if he goes for the bank instead of going for one of us?”

  “Butcher here is going to watch the bank,” I said.

  “I am?”

  “You damn right you are. Starting right now. Find yourself a hidey-hole where you can watch the bank and stay there till you either gets Cody or I come and tell you to quit.”

  “Yes, sir,” said Butcher, and he got up and left outta the Hooch House in a hurry.

  That left me and Churkee setting together but across the table from each other, so he was a-looking one way, and I was looking the other way. I couldn’t think a’ nothing else what could be did unless it would be for us to get organized and go from one house and building in town to another till we had searched the whole damn thing, and that didn’t quite make sense to me. I even wondered if it would even a’ been a legal thing for me to do, busting in on folks in their own homes. So I never even mentioned that possibility to no one else.

  I emptied down my drink glass and waved at ole Aubrey, and he come a-running with the bottle. And just as he poured m
y glass full again, we heared a shot what come from someplace real close outside. Aubrey jumped and like to’ve dropped my bottle. Bonnie didn’t exactly scream, but she said, “Oh,” kinda sharplike. Me and Miller both of us come up out of our chairs with six-guns in our hands. We looked at each other and then toward the front door.

  “Let’s go,” I said.

  We headed toward the front a’ the place and then on outside. We stood there on the sidewalk and looked down the street both ways. Then Butcher hollered from up on a rooftop across the street from the bank.

  “Barjack,” he said, “around the corner.”

  He was a-waving north, so me and Miller went running thattaway to the next corner and then on around it. We never had far to go, though, on account a’ once we had went around the corner, we seed a body a-laying out in the road. We both of us looked down the street, but we never seed a damn thing. We walked on up to where the body was stretched out. It was laying on its face, and its back had a big hole blowed in it. I walked on over to it and nudged it over with my foot, and whenever it flopped on over, I could see right off that it was poor ole Harry Henshaw.

  “Murdered,” I said.

  “Harm Cody?” said Miller.

  “I’d say so,” I tole him. “Henshaw was in the posse.”

  “Yeah,” said Miller. “If he thought that Henshaw was that important, then he must be after you and me.”

  “I’d damn well bet money on it,” I said.

  We walked back around to the main street, where I yelled at a couple a’ fellers and tole them to go tell the undertaker to get down there and take care a’ the stiff, and then we walked back down the side street where the body was still a-laying. We walked past it and on down the street a-looking for any place Cody coulda gone. We went slow and looked into every nook along the way. We had our shooters our in our hands too, just in case. But we not only never seed no sign a Cody, we never seed no place where he coulda gone to.

  We had moved about halfway down that side street when we heared a loud crash like as if someone had stumbled over a bunch a’ boxes. We pressed ourselfs back against the wall and helt our shooters ready. Nothing happened. I looked over at Miller, and I nodded ahead. We tuck off together at a run, and we come to a sunk-in doorway, and we both of us poked our gun barrels in there at the same time. Ole Jake Jacobson looked up at us with his bleery eyes opened real wide. He sure enough looked skeered to death.

  “Don’t shoot me, Marshal. Mr. Indi’n. Please don’t shoot.”

  “Jake,” I said, “what the hell are you a-doing here?”

  “I just seen a man shot, Marshal,” he said, “and I ducked in here to hide. I think he was killed. The man I seen shot, that is.”

  “He was killed all right,” I said. “It was Harry Henshaw.”

  “Harry was killed?” Jake said.

  “Deader’n hell,” I said.

  “Aw.”

  “Now, just what did you see, Jake?”

  “You ain’t gonna shoot me?”

  “No,” I said, “we ain’t gonna shoot you, although we might be doing you a favor if we was.”

  “Or take me to jail?”

  “No, now, what did you see?”

  “Well, sir,” he said, “I was just a-walking down the street here thissaway, and I seen old Henshaw a-coming kinder toward me, but I don’t think he seen me, and then someone stepped out in the street behind him and shot him. I jumped into this here doorway right quick, and the shooter went running down the street right past me and around the corner—thattaway.”

  “He went around to the right?” said Miller.

  Jake stepped out of the doorway and faced the corner he had designated. He helt up both a’ his hands and looked at them. “Yeah,” he said, “to the right.”

  “Then he never seed you?” I said.

  “I reckon not,” said Jake, “but it for sure skeered me whenever I fell over them boxes. I never even seen them till then. And then I seen your guns, and I like to’ve shit my pants, but I never.”

  “Thank the Lord God for small favors,” I said. “Well, you go on and find the W.C. before you get yourself in real trouble.”

  “Yes, sir, Marshal,” Jake said. “Oh yeah. It was that fellow Cody.” He was already running toward the outhouse. He called out over his shoulder as he ran, “That’s who it was. That Cody.”

  As Jake disappeared around the corner, Miller and I looked at each other.

  “It was Cody all right,” Miller said. “Shall we follow him?”

  “Let’s go,” I said. We walked down to the end of that block and peered around the corner. We didn’t see no sign a’ Cody, so we went on around the corner to the right, just like Jake had told us. We went slower then, and we looked in ever’ doorway and tried ever’ door. If the door weren’t locked, we opened it up and ast whoever was in there if anyone had come in the last several minutes. They all said no, so we just kept on a-going. Then we come to a dry goods store, and the door was unlocked. We went in. The proprietor was there. It was ole Hardcase Haggerty.

  “Well, hello, Marshal,” Haggerty said. “What can I do fer you?”

  “I’m looking for a man,” I said. “Name a’ Cody, ‘cept only he’s a-calling hisself Jones right now.”

  “What’s he look like?” Haggery ast.

  Miller give him a quick description, and then Hardcase said, “Yeah. He come in here, and then he hurried right on out the back door.” He turned and pointed to it.

  “Come on, Churkee,” I said, and we hurried through the back door. Then we was standing there in the goddamned alley a-looking up and down. We was right back behind the Hooch House.

  “He could’ve gone anywhere,” Miller said.

  “You’re right,” I said. “Hell, let’s go on in the Hooch House and have a drink.”

  He said, “Okay,” and we went on in through the back door. The place was crowded, but all the gals was downstairs except one. We set down at my table with Bonnie and Dingle and Aubrey brung us our drinks. I tuck a slug out a mine, and then I said to Bonnie, “Where’s Hot Pants Harriett? She get herself some man business?”

  “Yeah,” said Bonnie. “They went upstairs just a few minutes ago.”

  “Well, hell, I hope they’re having a damn good time,” I said, “but even more, I hope he’s got plenty a’ cash on his ass.”

  “Was he a good-looking young fellow?” Miller said.

  “I didn’t hardly even see the man,” said Bonnie. “I just seen Harriett take a fellow by his arm over yonder at the foot a’ the stairs and then they headed up. He was a little on the heavy side, I think, but that’s all I can say about him.”

  I just barely noticed the look on Miller’s face. It was a look a curiositiousness if I ever did see one. He was a-looking at ole Bonnie, but then he turned and looked at the stairway. He was a-studying it like as if he had never seed it before. Then he turned and looked back at Bonnie.

  “Where was Harriet standing before she got hold of that man?” he asked her.

  “Oh, I ain’t sure,” Bonnie said. “I guess she was standing back yonder by the stairs. I can’t remember that for sure. How come you want to know that?”

  “Barjack,” Miller said. “Look back there. See how close the stairway is to the back door?”

  “Yeah. So what?” I said.

  “So if a man came through the back door and wanted a hiding place and found a gal standing right there handy, what would be the smart thing for him to do?”

  Well, I wasn’t none too swift nor too smart, but I went and looked at the back door and then at the bottom a’ the stairway, and I went and tried to picture ole Harriett a-standing there, and then I pictured ole Cody coming through the back door and walking right up to Harriett. I looked back at Miller, and then the both of us stood up together and walked to the stairs.

  “What room?” he ast me as we was a-climbing.

  “Any room ‘cepting mine,” I said.

  We hustled on up them stairs, and back downsta
irs I could hear Bonnie calling after us.

  “What the hell are you two up to?” she yelled.

  “Never mind,” I hollered back.

  Then me and ole Miller reached the top a’ the stairs, and then we seed old Harriett a-coming toward us. We hurried up to meet her.

  “Where is he?” I demanded.

  “Who?” she said.

  “Who the hell do you think?” I said. “The son of a bitch you was with. That goddamned Cody.”

  “His name was Jones,” she said. “I called him Jonesy.”

  “Well, he’s Cody,” I said.

  “Where is he?” said Miller.

  “Well, he left.”

  “Already?” I said.

  “Wham, bam, thank you, ma’am,” said Harriet. “He left by that door.”

  She jerked a thumb over her shoulder toward the door at the end of the hallway. It led out onto a balcony that had a stairway that led down to the alley behind the Hooch House. We nearly knocked poor ole Harriett down running past her to the door.

  “What the hell?” she said.

  Miller beat me to the door by several steps. He jerked it open and went on out onto the balcony. I come up behint him. We both of us stood up there looking around, but we never seed nothing a’ the bastard.

  “I bet he run to the main street,” I said. “Come on.”

  We hurried on down the stairs and out to the main street. It was crowded. We stopped and stared up and down the street, looking for that son of a bitch, but we never seed nothing of him. Not a damn thing. How the hell anyone could appear and disappear in a small place like Asininity just boggles my pea brain. I never seed nothing like it before nor since. We walked on out onto the street, and looking all around us, walked down to the front door a’ the Hooch House and went on back in and over to my table, where we set back down.

  “What the hell was that all about?” Bonnie said.

  “That was all about trying to run down that goddamn Cody bastard,” I said.

  “Cody?” she said.

  “That’s right,” I said.

  “He killed Henshaw outside around the corner,” Miller said. “We followed him around the next corner, where he went into the dry goods store and out the back door.”