Barjack and the Unwelcome Ghost

by Robert J Conley

  “Then it sure looks like he come into our back door and found ole Harriett a-standing near the stairs.”

  “He just grabbed on to her,” said Miller, “and took her upstairs.”

  “And then wham, bam, thank you, ma’am, and he went out by the balcony. We lost him again.”

  Chapter Fifteen

  I was setting drinking my whiskey and muttering to myself. I was so pissed off that I never even noticed that ole Pistol Polly had come up behint me. “Goddamn it to hell,” I said.

  “What’s the matter with Barjack?” Polly said to Bonnie.

  “Aw, him and Miller just missed getting that Cody again,” Bonnie said.

  Polly hustled on around to the other side a’ the table and set down right beside a’ Miller with ole Dingle on her other side. “Barjack,” she said. “What happened?”

  “Shit,” I said.

  “Mose?” Polly said.

  “Aw, we were sitting right here, and we heard a shot, so we went out to investigate. We found that Henshaw shot to death, and we found that drunk, Jake, who saw Cody running away. We ran after him, and we followed him through a store. He went out the back door and came in the back door here. He got one of the whores and went upstairs with her. When we figured that out, we went upstairs after him, but he was already finished and had left by the outside door upstairs.”

  “Wham, bam, thank you, ma’am,” I said.

  “Goddamn it,” Polly said.

  “I’m just having the goddamnedest time figgering out how the son of a bitch can be right here in town in broad daylight right under our goddamned noses, killing folks and fucking gals, and us not being able to even get our damned eyeballs on him.”

  “He’s a smooth one, Barjack,” Polly said. “Don’t take it too personal.”

  “It’s my damn town,” I said. “I got to take it personal. Ain’t no other way to take it.”

  “Well,” Polly said, “what the hell are you going to do about it?”

  “I got a man on a roof a-watching the town. He can see most of it from up there,” I said.

  “Let’s search the whole damn place,” she said.

  “We tried that once.”

  “Obviously it didn’t work,” said Polly. “Let’s do it again.”

  “All right, by God. Ever’ one a’ you is deputized. Let’s go right now.”

  “Me too?” said Bonnie.

  “You goddamn right,” I said.

  We all of us stood right up and headed outta the place. Out on the sidewalk I tole them all which part a’ the town to take, and we split up. Me and ole Bonnie headed down toward the Widder Rogers’s place. Whenever we got there, I knocked on the door. In a minute, the ole widder opened up the door to us.

  “Barjack,” she said when she seed me, “what are you doing back here?”

  “We need to check out your place one more time,” I said.

  “You still looking for Mr. Jones?”

  “Yes, ma’am,” I said, “ ‘cept only his right name is Cody.”

  “I don’t know nothing about that,” she said, “but you can go check his room again if you insist on doing it.”

  “We will,” I said, and me and ole Bonnie pushed our way past the widder and on into the house. I led Bonnie the way to the room Cody had been occupying, and we went in. It looked just the same as it had looked the other time I checked in there. “Let’s check all the other rooms too,” I said, so we went through the whole house. One room we went in had a man asleep in the bed, and he jumped up and looked at us with his eyeballs wide-open.

  “What’s the meaning of this?” he said.

  “That ain’t him,” I said, and we went back outta the room.

  The other rooms was all empty. We was headed back toward the front door whenever we walked past the only door we hadn’t opened, and I heared a sound come from in there. It sounded to me like as if someone was lifting a winder up to open it. I jerked my head toward that door.

  “What was that?” I said.

  “What?” said the widder. “I didn’t hear nothing.”

  “What’s this room?” I ast her.

  “That’s my private bedroom,” she said.

  “I need to look in there,” I said, and I reached for the doorknob. The widder stepped in to block my way.

  “No one goes in there,” she said.

  “I’m a-going,” I said, and Bonnie tuck hold a’ the widder and pulled her back outta my way. I opened the door and stepped in. The winder was wide up. I hurried on over to it and stuck my fool head out, and I seed that goddamn Cody a-running. He looked over his shoulder and seed me, and he sent a shot back at the winder, I ducked just as his bullet hit the winder frame and sent some splinters a-flying. “Goddamn it,” I yelled.

  Bonnie come a-running into the room. “Barjack,” she yelled. “Are you hit?”

  “I’m all right,” I said. “He’s out there.”

  I went to climbing through the winder, but by the time I got my fat ass out, he had done disappeared down the street and around a corner. I fired three shots into the air, and Bonnie come a-running around the house. She had went out the front door. “Where’d he go?” she ast me.

  I gestured ahead with the barrel a’ my gun. “He went thattaway, but I lost him.”

  “Come on,” she said, and she tuck off after the son of a bitch. I follered her. Just then Polly come a-running with Miler alongside of her.

  “Was that you signaling?” Miller ast.

  “It was,” I said. “He went running off thattaway.”

  The four of us went after him, but whenever we rounded that corner, we seed all kinds a’ folks out on the street but no goddamn Cody. We went to searching buildings again, but we never found him. Final we give it up.

  “Come on,” I said. By that time, Happy and Dingle was with us. I led the way back to the widder’s house and never bothered to knock this time. I just barged on in, and they all follered me. The widder stepped up all huffylike.

  “What are you a-doing?” she demanded.

  “We come back here to take your ass to jail, Widder,” I said.

  “On what charge?” she said.

  “Harboring a goddamned fugitive,” I said. “That was that damned Cody hiding in your room.”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said.

  “Listen, Widder,” said Bonnie. “You had Cody hiding in your private room. You was prob’ly doing more with him than hiding him. Anyhow, he damn near shot my Barjack, so you just as well fess up, damn you.”

  “I ain’t got nothing to fess up to,” the widder said.

  Bonnie hauled out her Merwin and Hulbert selfextracting .38-caliber revolver and aimed it right between the widder’s eyes. “Oh yeah?” she said. “You’d best think about that, you goddamn bitch.”

  “Now, Bonnie,” I said, “put that thing away. There ain’t no need for that.”

  “But she’s—”

  “We’ll just lock her up in the jailhouse,” I said. “Come on, Widder. You’re under arrest.”

  “I ain’t going to no jail,” she said.

  “You damn sure are,” I said. “Happy, take her along.”

  Happy stepped up to the widder and helt out a hand. “Come along, ma’am,” he said.

  She smacked him hard across the face. “I said I ain’t a-going.”

  Bonnie had done had enough a’ the bullshit. She was still a-holding out her revolver, and she all of a sudden bashed the widder on top a’ the head and dropped her like a sack a’ wheat down onto the floor. “Take her on, Happy,” she said. Happy commenced to struggling with the deadweight a’ the widder, but he was having a hell of a time. Bonnie bent over and hefted the widder up onto her own shoulders. “Come on,” she said, and she walked all the way to my marshaling office like that with Happy running along beside of her. I strolled along behind. By the time I stepped into the office, Bonnie had done throwed the widder into a cell, and Happy was locking the door. Bonnie turned on me whenever I co
me in.

  “Well,” she said, “what now?”

  “We’ll question her again whenever she wakes up,” I said. “That is, unless you kilt her.”

  “Aw, hell,” said Bonnie, “I never hurt her none.”

  The rest a’ my depitties come into the office then and kindly crowded around me.

  “What now?” said Dingle.

  “Has you all searched the whole damn town?” I ast them.

  “We did,” said Miller, “but you found him, and he ran away again. He could be hidden in someplace where we already looked.”

  “Goddamn it,” I said. “You’re right about that, a’ course. All right, let’s go back where I lost him.”

  We all of us made our way back to the backside a’ the widder’s house, and I was about to lead the way a-follering the way Cody had went, but a thought come into my head. “A couple a’ you check ever’ room in the widder’s house again,” I said. Happy and Miller run into the widder’s place by the back door. They come out again in a few minutes a-shrugging, so I said, “Come on,” and I led them all around the corner where I had seed him go. The first place we come to was a empty building what had once been a saloon years ago before I closed down all a’ my competition. It had never sold, and it was boarded up. “Kick down the door,” I said. “We’ll check it out.”

  Happy and Miller went to banging at the door trying to knock it open, and after they had hit it several times, Bonnie shoved them aside. “Get outta the way,” she said. They stepped aside, and Bonnie walked up close to the door and turned her back on it. Then she give it a hell of a bump with her incredibly broad ass and knocked it plumb down. She stepped outta the way, and I walked in, my shooter out in my hand. I looked around, but I never seed no one. The others follered me in.

  “Look the place over,” I tole them, and they went to looking. Happy went behind the old bar. Polly opened the door into the back room. Bonnie and Miller climbed the stairs, and I could hear them opening up and shutting doors up there. By and by they was all back down with me. “The place is clean, Barjack,” said Happy.

  We went back out into the street and checked the next building. It was the milnery shop or whatever you call it. No sign a’ Cody. We went to the next one. It was Henshaw’s gun shop. Course, it was closed up on account a’ Henshaw being dead, you know. Bonnie opened that door too, and we looked it over real good. Didn’t find nothing, so we went back out. We crossed a side street and headed for the stable. The stable man seed us a coming, and I reckon that most ever’one in town knowed by then what we up to. He run outta his place and headed for the Hooch House, so we just walked right in. The place seemed deserted ‘cept for the horses what was in there.

  “Look in ever’ stall,” I said.

  I walked to the office and opened the door. It was a little bitty thing, so I never even had to step all the way inside to see that there weren’t no Cody hiding in it. I went back out and shut the door. My gang a’ depitties was just finishing up looking in all the stalls. They come a-walking back to join me. I was looking up at the loft. It was long, running the whole damn length a’ the building, and there was bales a’ hay stacked up in there. There was a ladder at each end.

  “Happy,” I said, “climb up that there ladder.”

  “Yes, sir,” he said, and he hurried over to it.

  “Miller,” I said, and I nodded toward the other ladder. Miller trotted down to it and started in to climbing it. I hauled out my Merwin and Hulber, holding it ready and watching the loft up overhead. Happy was getting close to the top a’ his ladder, and just then I seed a bale a’ hay come a-toppling toward him. I yelled out, but only I was a little late. “Look out, Happy,” I hollered, and I sent a slug up into the loft. I only hit in the stack a’ hay, but the one bale come down and clipped ole Happy’s head, knocking his hat off and toppling him off a’ the ladder. He come a-crashing down to the ground at the bottom a’ the ladder. I heared the breath whoosh outta his lungs. I also heared footsteps a-thumping across the boards a’ the loft.

  Miller hurried on up into the loft with his gun in his hand, and ducking low, he run toward the other end a’ the loft. I seed him raise his shooter and snap off a shot. “Outside,” he yelled. I went running for the front door. Polly and Bonnie and Dingle run too, and Polly got there before the rest of us. She fired a couple a’ shots. Whenever I had reached the door there wasn’t no sign a’ Cody out there. Up above, Miller reached out from the overhead door what was used for loading up hay bales into the loft. He reached for the rope that was hanging there from a hoist and he tuck hold a’ that rope and slid down to the ground.

  “Is that how he got down?” I ast.

  “Yes, sir,” Miller said.

  “Goddamn him,” I said. “The son of a bitch is slippery as a eel.”

  I walked back inside to check on ole Happy, and he was just getting up off a’ the ground and still sucking for his breath.

  “You ain’t kilt, are you?” I ast him.

  He picked up his hat and dusted it off against his leg. “No, sir,” he said. He sucked in another breath. “I’m all right. Was it Cody?”

  “I never seed him,” I said.

  “It was him all right,” said Miller. “I caught a glimpse of him.”

  “Did you hit the son of a bitch?” I said.

  “No,” said Miller. “I don’t think so.”

  “Do we try to follow him again?” said Bonnie.

  “We sure as hell do,” I said. “Let’s go.”

  Ole Happy was motivating okay, so I didn’t worry no more about him. I let Miller lead the way on account a’ he was the only one what seed Cody this time. We went walking through the crowds on the street. Peester was walking in the opposite direction, and when he come up to me, he said, “Barjack. I heared shots fired in town. What’s going on?”

  “We’re a-chasing that goddamned Cody, Pisster,” I said. “Don’t bother me right now. We got us a killer in the streets a’ Asininity. Get a gun and join us if you want to.”

  “Uh, no, Barjack. I think I’ll get back to my office.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Well, we searched all the rest a’ that day but never seen hide nor hair a’ the son of a bitch. To this here day, I don’t know how in the hell he managed to disappear thattaway. If I was to want to be a goddamned criminal, I sure would wish that I could do that. I don’t know. Maybe if I was to put my mind to it, I could learn how. I had learnt to fl y, you know. That time ole Bonnie had got real pissed off at me and throwed me headlong off a’ the landing down into the main room a’ the saloon at the Hooch House, I had hovered there in the midair for a spell before I went on down and crashed face-first on a table. I broke my nose that time on account a’ it was my first time to fly, and I hadn’t yet learnt how to land real good. But recalling that day, I figger that maybe I could learn how to disappear if I was to really put my mind to it.

  I didn’t sleep real well that night, partly on account a’ I didn’t have enough whiskey to drink. We had spent nearly the whole damn day a-hunting for that disappearing fart Cody. I don’t reckon no one slept good that night thinking about that killer what was loose on our streets. Anyhow, I was sure damn glad whenever morning come and I could get outta bed and get my ass dressed and get on down the stairs. Bonnie was a-snoring when I left the room. Aubrey seed me coming down, and he met me with a cup a’ coffee and a glass a’ whiskey. I was sure glad to get the whiskey and I drunk it down in a hurry and waved for more. Aubrey brung it to me. Then I sipped at the coffee some and called for a breakfast. Happy and Butcher come in then.

  “Has you had your breakfast yet, boys?” I ast them.

  “No,” said Happy.

  “I ain’t,” said Butcher.

  I called out to Aubrey to take care a’ them, and then I said to Butcher, “Eat your breakfast up, Butcher, and then go back up on the rooftop and keep an eye out for that goddamned Cody bastard.”

  “Yes, sir,” Butcher said.

  “What about me
, Barjack?” said Happy.

  “You stick with me,” I said.

  “Okay.”

  Aubrey final brought out the breakfasts, and we all et them up. Then ole Bonnie come down the stairs, surprising the hell outta me. I reckon that she, like me, didn’t sleep none too well. She give me a big squeeze and said, “Good morning, lover.”

  “Set down, Bonnie,” I told her, and she set and waved at Aubrey. He brung her a coffee and a drink, and she called for a breakfast. Butcher wolfed his down and excused hisself and headed out to climb back up on the roof.

  “Barjack,” Bonnie said, “what are we going to do about that Cody bastard today?”

  “I done sent ole Butcher back up on a rooftop to watch out for him,” I said. “I’ll think about what else to do.”

  Miller come walking in just then, and he had Pistol Polly alongside of him. Whilst they was walking toward the table, Bonnie kinder whispered into the side a’ my head, “I think them two is developing a interest in each other, Barjack. What do you think?”

  “I don’t know,” I said, “and I don’t give a shit.”

  They come on over and set down on the other side a’ the table. In another minute Dingle come in. Whenever he set down, he right away hauled out his damned notebook and went to scribbling in it. I figgered he was making notes ‘bout what had went on the day before, but I never bothered to ask him. He never said no good mornings to none of us nor nothing else. He just set his ass down and went to scribbling. Then I was surprised to see ole Sly the Widdamaker come in. He come over and joined us.

  Aubrey brung him some coffee. “Would you like a breakfast, Mr. Sly?” Aubrey ast him.

  “No, thank you, Aubrey,” the Widdamaker said. “I’ve had my breakfast.”

  I figgered he had et over at Miss Lillian’s fancy house, but I just kept my mouth shut. Sly sipped his coffee.

  “Barjack,” he said, “do you have any news about Cody?”

  “Only that the son of a bitch can disappear into thin air,” I said. “We damn near had his ass three or four times yesterday, and he just vanished on us. I never seed nothing like it in all a’ my borned days.”