The Fraternity Files

by Stephanie Joeline Kerfoot

  Steve took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. This last part would be the hardest to say. Danny and Ryan too knew what was coming. Danny looked at the ground, and Ryan put his hand on his shoulder. Finally Steve continued, letting his voice ring out and praying it would not waver. "Your behavior, no matter how understandable to us within these walls, is still a reflection on the house. It determines how the rest of the campus views and treats us. Therefore, every year at the end of the first semester, the freshman who has most flagrantly violated the rules and shown the least concern about doing so, must pay the price as an example to the others. This year, that freshman is Kevin Kramer.

  “Kevin, come here." Steve's commanding voice called his youngest brother from the corner, but Kevin had hidden his face against his arm, and he neither looked up nor responded to his brother's summons. Steve waited a moment, but then looked nervously at his two other brothers who were still leaning against the wall by the door. "Dan," he prompted. Danny looked up at him and cringed as he read Steve's expression. Ryan squeezed his shoulder, and a moment later Danny resignedly made his way over to Kevin.

  "Don't make me haul you over there, Kev," his voice cracked as he gently addressed his younger brother.

  "Just leave me alone, Danny," Kevin mumbled.

  "You're not going to help yourself by disobeying," Danny cautioned empathetically, but Kevin refused to look at him. "Come on Little Bro," Danny placed a hand on his arm. "I'm going to get you through this. I promise."

  "No!" Kevin jerked his arm away and finally raised his red-rimmed eyes to glare accusingly at Danny. "Get away from me!" He pushed at his big brother.

  "Kev . . .," Danny started, taken aback by the venom in his brother's tone. He moved in closer, but Kevin pushed at him again.

  "No, Danny! You knew this would happen!" he cried. "You knew all along, and you never once told me! You knew! You knew!" Kevin swung at him and Danny ducked, grabbing his arms.

  "Stop it, Kevin!" Danny looked anxiously in Steve’s direction. Kevin struggled, but his efforts were futile and he became more and more worked up as he desperately twisted to get away.

  "Calm down," Danny instructed quietly, but his younger brother only fought harder and out of the corner of his eye Danny saw Ryan move closer. "Please, Kev, trust me!"

  "Trust you?" That caused Kevin to pause as he stared at his big brother contemptuously, his eyes brimming with tears of rage. "Trust you?! You lied to me, Danny! You lied! How can I trust you, now, or ever again? How could you do this? How?" Kevin finally succeeded in breaking Danny's grasp and he struck violently at his big brother, not even taking time to aim. Danny was done playing around now, though, and he easily caught his brother's arms once again. "Let me go, Danny!" Kevin screamed in frustration. "I hate you! I hate you! How could you do this?" Through all Kevin's struggling and pushing Danny held on, and finally his little brother collapsed against him. "How could you let this happen to me?" he sobbed, clinging to Danny and pressing his face into his shoulder.

  "Kevin! Let's go!" Steve's stern rebuke filled the room and Danny glanced uneasily at him once more.

  "Please don't let them do it, Danny, please!" Kevin pleaded. "Please! I'll listen to you, I promise! I'll do exactly what you tell me to! I'll do the report for Merrick right now! I'll never go to Rho Beta Xi again! I'll do anything you want! Anything! I promise! Please, Danny, please!" The room was silent now except for Kevin's erratic sobbing, and Danny clutched him tightly, letting his chin fall to the top of his little brother's head.

  "It's too late now, Kev'bo," he murmured, "it's out of my hands. There's nothing I can do except help you through this, and I will do that, I promise." The strength of Kevin's sobs increased as his only hope went out the window, and he clutched at his brother. Danny tightened his arms around him and let him cry, his conscience plaguing him as his little brother became more and more distraught. Steve waited a few more moments, but when Kevin had finally calmed slightly, he caught Danny's eye. Prolonging this, he knew, was not doing any of his brothers any good. Danny swallowed hard as he received Steve's silent command. "Let's get it over with, Kev," he whispered.

  "No, Danny! Please, Please!" Kevin clung to him and Danny looked pleadingly at Steve, but Steve just frowned at him, reprovingly. With a sore heart, Danny tried to extricate himself from Kevin's grasp, but Kevin clutched at him once more, clinging to his neck and sobbing. Steve prompted Ryan and, reluctantly, Ryan stepped up beside his younger brothers.

  "Come on, Kev," Danny encouraged gently, as he attempted to loosen his little brother’s hold.

  "No!" Kevin yanked his arm away and clung tighter. Danny kept a soothing hand on his little brother's back and he and Ryan locked eyes.

  "Kev," Ryan tried again, "you're not making this easier for yourself."

  "I don't care!" Kevin raged. "It's not fair!"

  "Now, come on, Kevin," Ryan became just a little impatient. "You've done nothing, but break rules all semester. You refuse to listen to anyone who tries to help you, even Danny, and recently you've developed a real attitude. The last few weeks, you've been mouthing off to everyone, even us. You have had this coming for a while now, Bro, and I think you know it, so how is it not fair?"

  "It's not fair because you knew!" he sobbed. "You knew this would happen and you never once told me. Why didn't you tell me?" he protested brokenly. He was still clinging to Danny, but now he turned his tear streaked face to glare at Ryan, resentfully.

  "Because, Kev," Ryan replied patiently, "you are not a little kid. You are in college, now, and it is time for you to learn how to determine the difference between right and wrong on your own. Danny, Steve, and I are here to guide you, but ultimately, the choices are yours to make."

  "Besides," Danny added bitterly, "if we had told you anything, we would have been kicked out of the fraternity and maybe even off the team.” Kevin looked at Ryan for confirmation and Ryan nodded. Kevin took a deep breath as he finally began to comprehend the difficult position his brothers had been placed in.

  "Well, you could have hinted at least," he protested weakly with another little sob.

  "We did hint to you, Kev!" Ryan responded. "You just never wanted to listen to us! Over and over again, we tried to make you understand without breaking the rules, ourselves." Kevin began to cry harder again, and Danny tightened his arms around him.

  "Why do you think we were so hard on you the day we caught you and your friends telling stories?" Ryan asked quietly.

  `Why, indeed?' A surge of bitterness washed over Kevin. He had just been thinking about the very same thing. There had always been roomers of the paddle's existence, and occasionally his friends had recounted strange tales of searching for their older brothers, only to be told that they were "indisposed." Further inquiry, usually among their brothers' rivals, led them to Steve's door where their brothers would eventually emerge, red-eyed and limping, their own big brothers behind them. The oldest fraternity members would place protective hands on their little brothers' shoulders and require Kevin’s friends to say what they wanted and who had sent them. Kevin’s friends would be too flabbergasted to answer and would watch as, without a word, their big brothers limped past them to their rooms where they would almost always stay for the remainder of the day.

  If the younger fraternity members inquired whether their big brothers were ok, they would be told patiently not to worry, and the juniors would step into their younger brothers' shoes for the day. If Kevin's friends pressed too hard, or became too nosy, however, their curiosity would inevitably meet with a sharp admonishment to, "mind their own business." Kevin felt queasy as he thought of these whispered tales, always told in secret behind closed bedroom doors. Such stories told in the open, would meet with a stern command to, "Find something better to do, and keep such nonsense to themselves," especially when the freshmen began to speculate about the paddle.

  Ryan and Danny had come upon them one time, telling these tales, and had been furious wi
th him. They had hauled him before Steve who had delivered a biting lecture, reminding him that he had plenty of his own business to take care of, and that he should mind his own affairs rather than waste his time worrying about those of others. Until that day, Kevin had brushed the stories off as just that, stories. From that day on, though, a part of him had known they were true, and he had no longer joined in his friends' huddled midnight conversations. He had, thus, been lulled into a false sense of security. After all, he had never encountered Ryan or Danny in that awkward situation, and he began to doubt his conclusions. Perhaps, he had been wrong. Maybe it was just a story after all, or a scare tactic. Now he knew the truth. Another wave of fury washed over him. How could this be happening to him? How could Danny and Ryan have let it?

  All of Kevin's feelings were communicated to his brothers in his expression, and Danny swallowed hard. "We're going to get you through this, Bro," he whispered as Kevin continued to glare at Ryan.

  "We never said the stories weren't true, Kev," Ryan responded to his younger brother's silent accusation. "We never even told you to keep them to yourself! In fact, we brought you to Steve because we wanted you to know that the rumors were true! Even Steve tried hard to warn you; he ordered you to attend to your own business and stay out of the affairs of others, didn‘t he? He as much as told you that what you had heard was true, Kev. After all, why would he tell you to stay out of it, if there was nothing to stay out of? We were all hoping you would put two and two together and shape up!"

  "It backfired, though," Danny added miserably. "We only succeeded in stopping you from listening to the stories, and eventually you convinced yourself they weren't true. We tried, Bud! We really tried."

  "We did try," Ryan acknowledged again softly, "but ultimately Kevin, you brought this on yourself. I've never seen anyone who deserved a licking more."

  "Well, now, I don't know if that's true," Steve reprimanded gently, reminding his brothers of his presence and that of the rest of the fraternity. He eyed both Ryan and Danny with an air of paternal sternness and both his little brothers flushed under his gaze. Unlike Matt's earlier comment, Steve's words carried not even a hint of humor. They were meant only to remind Ryan of the role he should be playing and to comfort Kevin. Both objectives were accomplished. Ryan shuffled his feet, shifting his eyes guiltily under Steve’s penetrating gaze, and though Ryan and Danny's younger brother missed the full significance of the remark, the contradiction (especially coming from Steve) lessened the sting of Ryan's rebuke. Kevin pressed his face into Danny's shoulder, rubbing it against his older brother's shirt in an effort to dry his tears. The rest of the room looked on in silence, and the three older fraternity members waited patiently. This was a terrible moment for their youngest brother, they all knew, the moment when he had to claim responsibility for all the poor choices he had made this past semester, the moment when he was forced to acknowledge that he had only himself to blame for the trouble he was in now.

  "Oh, come the fuck on!" Mcarthy's cry of disgust penetrated the formidable silence of the common room. "This is bullshit! Let's just get on with it, already! None of us wants to be here all night. The kid has it coming. We all know he has it coming! Even he knows he has it coming, so let's stop stalling!" The outburst caused a commotion as the unsettled freshmen leaned across one another to commiserate and speculate about their friend and classmate's unenviable circumstances. The sophomores too were whispering amongst one another, wondering how Steve would handle Gregg's challenge.

  Some of the seniors and juniors were talking too and Matt took the opportunity to slip from his chair. Stepping up beside his brother, he placed a hand on his shoulder once more. "As much as I hate to admit it," he started into his brother’s ear, "Mcarthy's got a point. Enough is enough, Steve!" Steve swallowed and nodded, unable to take his eyes off of Danny and Ryan as they looked at him, pleading silently for one more moment. Danny tightened his arm around Kevin again, and tears stung his eyes as he read Steve's expression.

  "Bring him here," Steve commanded his brothers quietly as Matt took his seat. A look of anguish pierced Danny's expression, but he knew better than to argue with a direct order, and after a moment Danny attempted once again to separate himself from his little brother.

  "No, no!" Kevin pleaded, clinging tighter. "Please! Can't we at least do it upstairs? Please! I'm sorry! I know I deserve it!" he sobbed hysterically. "I'll take twice the number of licks! I'll do bathroom duty all next semester if we can just do it upstairs!"

  Danny put his arms around Kevin again, in a soothing gesture, but he looked away as his little brother looked hopefully up into his face. Kevin's request seemed more than reasonable, and in fact Danny, in his time last year, had made a similar plea. He too had offered to take on "bathroom duty," a particularly dreaded chore usually rotated among the freshmen, if only the punishment could be carried out in private. The decision was, in fact, up to the discretion of the president, but no president in recent history had honored such a request. To do so, would defeat the purpose of the night.

  Now, Danny turned to Ryan for help. Ryan looked uneasily at Steve, and Danny followed his eyes, holding his little brother tightly and pleading silently with his oldest brother to let Kevin's plea succeed where his own last year had failed. Steve sighed as he looked at his brothers' hopeful expressions, and he bit his lip as slowly he shook his head. Tears started to streak Danny's face again.

  Danny knew there was no way he'd be able to make Kevin understand right now why the punishment could not be carried out in private. After all, as far as Kevin knew, nobody else had ever been treated this way. Other punishments, when they took place, obviously took place in private. To deny him this same right to privacy, then, would seem to him like an unnecessary and particularly cruel way to exacerbate the already severe consequences. Danny clutched Kevin tighter as his own tears came faster. This was the moment Danny had battled with last year, the moment for which he had been unable to forgive Ryan. He had seen it as his big brother's ultimate betrayal and he knew Kevin would see it that way too. "I'm sorry, Kev," he choked at last. Steve was looking at him sternly now, and Ryan was trying to look stern too, but he was fighting back tears, and he looked away as Danny sought his eyes.

  "Ryan," Steve addressed his little brother firmly. Ryan looked at him, and with a wordless tilt of his head Steve indicated Danny and Kevin. Ryan hesitated and Steve raised his eyebrows. Finally, with bitter resignation, Ryan stepped up once again beside his brothers. Danny was still gripping his little brother tightly, but as he felt Ryan's hand on his shoulder, he loosened his hold, and forcing back the lump that rose in his throat, he reached up and gently took hold of Kevin's arm, attempting to break his little brother's death grip.

  "No, no! Danny, please!" Kevin's voice was panic stricken. "Please don't do this to me! Please!" Danny bit down hard on his lip as Ryan took hold of Kevin's other arm. Kevin braced his feet, but despite his opposition, his big brothers managed to clasp hands under his arms, and together they half lifted, half dragged him in the direction of their oldest brother.

  "No!" Kevin struggled with them. "No! Ok! Ok, I'll go! Let me go! I can walk by myself!" He tried to jerk away again and Danny met Ryan's eyes over their little brother's head. The next time he pulled away, they let him go. Kevin stumbled forward and then, with clenched fists and a scowl that pierced Danny's heart, he turned his head to look at them. Danny pointed at Steve, and Kevin bit his lip as his vision blurred once more, but finally, he turned and made his way stiffly over to the fraternity president. He stopped in front of his oldest brother and tried to look at him with red, swollen eyes. Steve glared at him, and Kevin hung his head.

  "If you fight us the whole way, Kev'bo, you're going to earn extra, and it's going to be a long night," Steve scolded as Danny and Ryan came silently up behind their younger brother. "Turn around and bend over." Kevin hesitated and Steve grabbed his arm, spinning him around and forcing him to bend. WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!

&nb
sp; "OWWW!” Kevin's cries of agony filled the air.

  "You're making this much harder than it needs to be, Kev," Steve admonished as his little brother cried and squirmed to get away. "You're breaking Danny's heart," he added softly as tears began to once more leak their way down the anguish stricken face of his second youngest brother.

  "I don't care!" Kevin snarled.

  "I think you do," Steve replied gently as Kevin snuck a look at Danny and went totally to pieces. WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK!

  "OWWW!" Kevin howled. "Oww! Oww! Oww!" He dissolved into embittered sobs, and finally Steve stopped.

  "All right, Little Bro. Stand up!" Steve kept tight hold of Kevin's arm as his little brother obeyed. "Don't rub!" he cautioned. Kevin inhaled, sobbing harder, and clutching his leg in an effort to keep his free hand away from his scalding rear.

  "Look at me!" Steve commanded, and Kevin tentatively raised his eyes. "You have a lot to answer for tonight, Young Man! Do not rub!" he warned once more as Kevin's hand inched toward the back of his thigh.