After the Before

by Gomez, Jessica

  Reaching up, I slide the sunroof open and feel the cool night air rush in. The smell of wet dirt, water, and trees fills my sinuses. The aromas remind me of Jasmine and of the day we spent collecting plants for our biology project.

  Leaning back in the chair, I get comfortable for the night. I have to say the view from here isn’t bad. The stars are out everywhere, twinkling in the sky.

  Too drunk to care what I’m doing, I ask, “What do you think of her?” Without her name, Carlos knows who I’m referring to.

  “Honestly?” he asks, peaking at me from the corner of his eyes.

  I nod, looking straight up at the sky.

  “She seems to bring the real you back.” He pauses before continuing. “She calms you. You’re better than all of this, Navarro, you know it.” He motions with his head to everything around us, but mainly referring to the gang. “You come alive when you see her; the look on your face when she walks into the room is pure adoration. What I think is that you’re perfect together, and that you need to work on a plan to fix whatever dumb shit you did to mess it up.”

  We glanced at each other at the same time. The same stupid, drunk smile plays on both of our lips. “Do you really think so?” My words are slurring together at this point.

  “Who do I fucking look like Navarro… Montel? Is this the girl talk hour?” He mocks me openly, but he knows I appreciate his words.

  “Gracias, Carlos.” I say, closing my eyes and getting comfortable for the night.

  “Si,” He responds, half asleep.

  I roll the windows up and make sure the doors are locked before I crash out for the night. Letting my guard down, now that I know there’s a retaliation order out, could mean bad business for all of us.

  I spent Saturday recovering from a hangover, the first in a very long time. Come Sunday, I just mosey around the house. I had a conversation with mi Madre about the retaliation Mario put out on the gang, and more than likely, me. She promised to take extra precautions and never travel alone anywhere for the next couple of weeks.

  Uneasy nerves bombard me when evening rolls around. Something feels off, as if I can sense that there is a storm brewing. My heart pounds harder than usual, and the air around me seems crisper, sharper somehow. All through dinner, the unease of the night keeps me on the edge of my seat.

  Mi Madre turns in early; having pulled a double shift today. My body is exhausted, but after I shower, thinking it will help relax me, sleep eludes me.

  My eyelids are heavy and ready to close when my phone buzzes next to my head on the nightstand. Snatching it up, I check the screen. The text has me flying out of bed, running down the hall and out the door with my pants still hanging halfway down my legs.

  To: Alex

  From: Carlos

  Mario has Jasmine.

  I’m outside now.

  Before the car door is closed, Carlos is peeling away from the curb. I finish buttoning my pants and putting my shoes on, when I ask him, “How in the hell does he have Jasmine?”

  “I’m not sure. I think he went and got her from her house.” He shrugs.

  “Willingly?” I ask puzzled.

  He gives me a look that tells me there’s nothing willingly about it; he took her by force.

  “Motherfucker!” Is just one of the many curse words that I continue to scream in both Spanish and English for the entire drive as my fist slams against the dash, over and over.

  “We’ll find her.” Carlos is determined, even though he has no idea how we are going to get her back. He keeps his eyes peeled on the road as he rips around the corners. We have to find her…

  Chapter Fifty-One

  Jasmine

  The smell of dry dirt rousts me back to consciousness. Miraculously, I’m able to keep my eyes closed and not give my waking self away. My wrists are sore; my hands bound behind my back. My prison is a chair. How clever. My head is lolled to the side and propped up by whatever headrest is on the back of my chair. Each leg is tied by the ankle to a chair leg, making it impossible for me to move without them noticing. My body aches. What happened to me while I was knocked out? Then I remember the fight with Margret, and how now the injuries are going to hinder any escape I try to make; I’m going to be useless against Mario and whatever cronies he has with him. What are they going to do to me? What have they already done to me?

  The thought sends cold shock waves through my body as I mentally scan my private areas, assessing if they have stayed private. If I would have waited a few more seconds before taking my bra off, I’d still have it on.

  I start to hear voices and I freeze. For a moment, I stop breathing, but realize that would give me away, so I let it out slowly. Most of the conversation is in Spanish, so I lack the ability to understand their words. I really needed to learn how to speak Spanish! Shortly after the conversation begins, someone switches to English. I’m glad to hear someone speaking English here so I can understand what’s going on and how I’m going to get out of this situation.

  The first thing I hear, I want to forget. “So when do we get to play with her?” Mr. English says.

  “Chill out Curtis. I have special plans for this one.” Mario’s voice seems like a haunted dream, dark and ominous. He trails his finger down my cheek and neck, his nail purposely biting into my skin where Margret left her claw marks behind.

  It’s enough to make me flinch. I know I’m busted when someone else says, “I think she’s waking up.” I wonder how many people are actually in the room with Mario.

  “Jasmine.” Mario chimes, trying to entice me to wake up. “Jasmine, time to wake up.” He says in his best singsong voice.

  When I still refuse to open my eyes, a fist connects with my jaw. Searing pain shoots through me, and my lip is throbbing in time with the beat of my heart. My tongue is in a bath of liquid iron. Not even Margret could hit me this hard.

  His plan works and I open my eyes. It takes me a moment to focus on anything; faces are a blur, as if I’m drunk. I can only see a couple of feet in front of me.

  “There she is.” Mario sings in that annoyingly, trying to be kind, voice. “Mamacita…” He lets the word hang in the air, like something spoken in a graveyard. He moves to my side and rubs his thumb over the side of my face where he struck me. “I see why Alex wants you so badly. You are beautiful, even with a black eye and scratches messing up your face. Alex finally get tired of you?”

  I turn my face away, disengaging from his touch. “I’m not with Alex anymore. He dumped me in Hawaii.” Maybe that knowledge will help with getting me out of here.

  Mario laughs. “That’s his MO, mamacita, but I’ve seen the way he looks at you; he would do anything to protect you. He will come for you.”

  “Don’t get your hopes up.” I mumble.

  The comment earns me a slap to the face this time.

  “Do not back sass me, puta.”

  If Margret were the perfect mother, I wouldn’t know what it felt like to have the bejesus smacked out of me. However, we all know how wonderful she is, so this beating that Mario is putting me through falls close to the one I just took the other night, although his punch is much stronger than Margret’s.

  Instead of shutting up, I say, “What makes you think he will come for me? He doesn’t even know where we are, am I right?” I have no idea where we are, but maybe Mario is dumb enough to say it. Escaping will be much easier if I have an idea of our location.

  “Wouldn’t you like to know?” He teases. He’s apparently smarter than he looks. “Alex will come for you, don’t you worry.”

  This is his plan, to ambush Alex when he comes for me… a set up. No matter what happens to me, I could never let them hurt him. I will refuse to help him in anyway.

  “I won’t help you.” I say boldly, proud of myself for the even tone that leaves my mouth, while inside I’m scared as hell.

  “Oh, you’ll help me, even if I have to beat you to do it.” He steps closer to me and when I don’t flinch, he realizes I mean what I say
.

  He turns away and says something in Spanish to his group. I can plainly see them now; three Mexicans and one white guy. Two of the guys Mario speaks to leave the small room.

  For the first time, I look around, taking in my surroundings. My prison is a small room, a shed maybe. The walls are made of wood, while the floor is dirty gray cement, and holds only the chair I’m sitting on. At some point, other objects littered the floor, I can see marks on the ground where they drug them out the door. They emptied this place out just for me. How sweet.

  Where were we? It has to be some place people remote. My mind races with the possibilities. Years seem to pass before the people who left return, and one of them hands Mario a pair of small objects and says something in Spanish. After this, I swear I am going to learn Spanish, if I survive. It seems like I would benefit from it tremendously.

  “Alright,” Mario walks back over to me. He seems excited. In one hand he has a cell phone; in the other, he has a pair of dice. “Now, we call Alex.” He dials a number and hits speaker. The phone shrills in the empty room, screaming over all the small sounds. On the third ring, I hear a scuffle and then breathing before someone speaks.

  “Si.” It’s Alex. My heart drops to my stomach.

  “Alex.” Mario says, his voice slithering like a snake.

  “Where’s Jasmine? You…” I am assuming he began to cuss Mario out with every word he knows in Spanish. I could only understand a handful of the verbal assaults thrown at Mario, and Mario’s only response is to laugh.

  “Where is she?” Alex is more pissed than I have ever heard him before.

  “Admit it first.” Mario says calmly.

  “Admit what?” Alex spits through the phone.

  “Admit how you feel about her first… and don’t lie. I’ll know if you’re lying.”

  There’s silence on the other end. Did he hang up? My stomach is in knots, my heart in my throat.

  “I love her.” His words fill me with warmth.

  “Aw. How sweet. Did you here that Jasmine, he loves you.” I stay quiet, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of talking.

  “Jasmine!” Alex yells to me through the phone.

  “Now, now Alex, you’ll get a chance to talk to her.” He pauses. “I’ll tell you where we are and you can come and save your little lover. I do hope you can get here fast enough. We’re about to roll the dice on her.”

  Mario’s words elicit more yelling from Alex, which causes Mario to laugh harder. I can hear Carlos in the background, but can’t make out his words.

  Alex stops, his voice is broken. “Please… just tell me where she is.” He pleads.

  Mario’s face looks pleased with Alex’s begging. “Listen up, Alex.” I think he’s going to say something, but instead he rolls the dice on the hard cement floor and holds the phone close so Alex can hear. “Oh, lucky seven. It could have been worse.”

  “If you touch her, I swear to God I’ll kill you.” Alex growls. I don’t understand what the dice have to do with anything.

  “You’d better get here fast then. We’re in the shed behind the school.”

  Mario’s still smiling. The satisfaction on his face repulses me; things are going the way he wants them to, so I scream, “Alex, don’t you dare come here! It’s a trap! Don’t you even consider it, do you hear me, Alex?”

  Mario closes the small distance between us, stalking me like a bull, and slaps me with the back of his hand. His knuckles dig into my cheekbone, sending the chair and me toppling over and slamming against the floor. Some sort of screeching comes from my lips, my arm is smashing between the metal of the chair and the cement floor. Searing pain shoots through my entire arm, enough to have me wondering if my arm is broken. The impact knocks the wind out of me as I attempt to gasp, suffocating.

  “¡Cállate, puta!” Mario’s face is a mask of insane horror. It’s clear that he will do anything to persuade Alex to come here. He closes the phone after his earth-shattering backhand and begins to laugh hysterically. The only thing reading in his crazy eyes is revenge, and this is how he is going to go about getting it.

  “So…” He begins, “Do you know how we initiate females into our gang, mi amour?” I refuse to cry, refuse to let him see how scared I truly am. He tips my chair up, sitting me straight in my seat. My head is spinning and pounding so hard I think it’s going to split open any moment; crack like a pumpkin after Halloween.

  “Well, then, let’s not spoil the surprise. You did hear me tell Alex you rolled a seven though, and that’s better than it could have been for you. The only problem is I only have five guys, including myself tonight, so that means a couple of us are going to get seconds.” He slides a finger down my cheek and under my chin, as if he’s being seductive. “Victor!”

  “Si.” I hear in the background.

  “Go get the rest of the guys; we’re going to pull a train.”

  Victor’s smiles, letting me know this “train” is not something I’m going to like, or want for that matter.

  Once everyone is inside, you can feel the electricity in the air; all the guys around me are hyped, ready for something that I think I finally understand. Oh, hell no! This cannot happen. Oh my God, they can’t do this to me. I can’t let them do this, I have to fight with every ounce of strength I have left.

  “We’re going to need to retie her legs, like this.” Mario demonstrates.

  He takes one of my legs and cuts the duct tape that has me secured. Immediately I kick out, catching him in the thigh, knocking him back a few paces. No words leave his mouth as he regains his balance and slaps me in the face again. Stars fly in my vision as my head lops to the side. I feel seconds away from passing out. At this point, I’m thinking it might be better if I’m unconscious for this next part.

  He wraps my foot slightly behind my chair, causing my leg to spread out wider, and tapes me down again. Another member does the same to the other leg while I’m partially incapacitated from Mario’s hit. At this point, my legs are spread apart as far as they will go in a sitting position. I’m really beginning to understand where this whole rolling the dice thing is going and panic is starting to get the better of me. Thrashing around in my chair is the only thing I’m capable of doing. Mario walks up to me with a long pair of scissors, opening and closing them as he approaches.

  With one hand, he reaches behind me and lifts my butt off the chair, showing me a perfect example of how they are all going to rape me while I’m still strapped to this chair. I thought it impossible, that they would have to let me out, or strap me down to something else, and that would be my time to try and run… to escape.

  He reaches down with the scissors and I finally begin to cry, beg, anything I can think of for him not to do this. The sound of clothing being cut lets me know it’s not me he’s cutting, it’s the crotch of my shorts. He goes on to cut both sides of my panties, then hands the scissors off to one of his members and lifts me up again pulling the shredded fabric out.

  I’m extremely embarrassed, my face flaming. The cool breeze hits my private skin, letting me know what’s out for everyone in the room to see. All the guys gather around, like their watching a movie and should be holding drinks and popcorn. I’m crying and murmuring words that are going unanswered, words even I cannot decipher.

  “If you relax, this will all be so much easier.” Mario whispers in my ear as I hear him unbutton and unzip his pants.

  Pulling me up off my seat, sliding me down into position, he pushes my shirt up, exposing a portion of my breast, then I feel one of his fingers glide over my bared skin.

  I’m sobbing now; nothing is going to stop him from violating me. He has me around the waist, getting ready to push himself inside, when a loud slam hits the door as Alex crashes inside.

  Chapter Fifty Two

  Alex

  The sound of Jasmine’s shrieking through the phone slams my heart against my chest, as if a train is ramming into a brick wall. Terror floods my body. Shortly after her scream, the ph
one disconnects.

  “High school shed, out back.” I tell Carlos, who immediately flips around in the middle of the street and slams down on the gas.

  After a minute of silence, Carlos asks the question I know he’s been dying to ask. “What’s going on? I heard most of his words, but not all of them.”

  I can’t meet his eyes when I answer. All I keep thinking about is what is happening to Jasmine right now, and how many more times will it happen before I can get there. “They rolled the dice on her.” I can barely choke out the words. “He said she rolled a seven.” Carlos slams the gas pedal down to the floor before looking at me in shock.

  “We’ll get there, Alex.”

  I know we’ll get there. My concern is if I’m going to be too late. When a female joins a gang, she has two ways to enter, like a man and get beat in, or she can roll the dice. When you roll the dice, you have to sleep with as many gang members as the dice reads. Meaning, Jasmine will have to be in a train of seven guys, and to make matters worse, she would be considered an inductee into their gang, becoming their property.

  Fuck that!

  I curse the entire way. The school’s about ten miles away, but it seems to take a million years before we arrive.

  Carlos screeches to a stop, riding up on the grass, about twenty feet away from the shed. I can see a light on inside. Glancing around at all the dark shadows, I make my way to the door, Carlos following a few paces behind me. Once we reach the entrance and no one is standing guard, my nerves tense. This is most certainly a set-up, but, wouldn’t they have already made their move? Unless… the thought makes me want to vomit. Are they all inside initiating Jasmine?

  Fire burns through my veins as I finish closing the distance in three long strides and then hammer the door down with a quick kick.

  The scene before me is surreal as a thousand thoughts stampede through my brain. The first thing I see is Jasmine, confined to a metal chair, and she’s bleeding from several areas. Her face is swollen, her lip split, claw marks decorate her jaw and neck. Her shirt is halfway up her torso, the bottom of her breast poking out. Her pajama shorts cut in the crotch, her panties are nonexistent. She’s crying hysterically, pleading with Mario to stop.