Forever Yours (#3)

by Deila Longford

  “I’m sorry that I never told you, but your mind is strong. I guess I was scared that you wouldn’t want me around, once you knew about my, talent.” I shake my head at him –I am shocked and totally embarrassed. I can’t believe that he has heard my thoughts; all I think about is him. He must think that I am some type of weirdo, the amount I think about him. I cringe, this can’t be true.

  “Can you hear my thoughts, right now?” Dalton smiles and he runs his fingers along my neck and onto my cheek.

  “No,” I frown –I don’t understand.

  “Explain, please!” I state. Dalton laughs at me and he rolls his eyes into the heavens. “I can only hear your thoughts when my fangs are into your skin. They connect me to your blood, your soul, mind, and body. When I feed on you, the blood allows me to see into your head. I can hear everything that you’re thinking. I can sense every feeling that you have. I feel all of your emotions and every desire that you have.” Wow –is my first thought? I can’t absorb this new information; it’s unbelievable, totally amazing and wonderful. Being a vampire must be mind-blowing, incredible and utterly fantastic. I can’t help but wonder what else I don’t know. I bet there’s a million other amazing things that he can do, I need and want to know all of them.

  “That’s amazing,” Dalton shakes his head.

  “No, it’s not,” Dalton states. I feel that I am missing something and I don’t know what it is. As I stare into his blue eyes, I sense that he is hurting. I move my hand onto his arm and he pulls away –what is wrong with him?

  “Dalton, are you okay?” he shakes his head at my words and he reaches out and grabs my arm. He pulls me close and he kisses me, holding onto me like there’s no tomorrow. I squeeze his back –he’s hurting and he needs me. “Dalton, what’s wrong?” I ask again.

  “You can’t want this. Being a vampire is a curse; my mind tricks are what haunt me.” I don’t understand –what is he trying to say? He looks upset and vulnerable, but why? I can’t put the pieces together and I don’t understand how being a vampire could ever be a curse. If this is a half-hearted attempt to scare me into changing my mind, then it’s not going to work. I will never want anything more than him, being human is weak and not what I want. I want to spend an eternity with him, always and forever.

  “There’s nothing that I want more than to be with you. How can being a vampire be a curse, when it allows you to be with the person you love, forever?” Dalton shakes his head at me and he gently kisses my forehead. I stare at him as he marches over to the window. He pulls back the curtains and he pops the windows open –he’s just going to leave? We haven’t finished our conversation, I have so much that I want to say, I want to convince him to turn me. Why won’t he give me the opportunity? He runs away at the first sight of trouble and he won’t open up and tell me how he feels. I am offering him my love, forever, why does he want to torture himself by being alone?

  “I’ll pick you up at nine, okay?” I nod –I am defeated, I can’t force him to talk to me. So I smile and watch as he climbs out of my window. The time since Dalton left has been slow, lonely and annoying. I got dressed, dried my hair and applied a little make-up. I went down stairs, had some breakfast and glugged down two aspirin for my banging hangover. Now I am sitting in our lounge, with Uncle George and Jen. Rachel has already left for school and I am a little worried that Nicholas could show up. I don’t want to think of what he is capable of and I am terrified that she was lying when she said that she would stay away from him. I know what she is like –she’s boy crazy and popularity means everything to her. If the other girls in school saw her with a guy like Nicholas, she would be made for life. Her popularity would rocket into space and she would be Queen-B of her school. I sigh and take a deep breath –God I hope I’m wrong about Rachel.

  “How was your night, Rose?” Jen asks as she pulls her eyes away from the TV set. I smile at her as I shuffle around in my seat –how was my night? I blush at my thoughts –my night was spectacular. I clear my dry throat as I reply.

  “Good, I drank a little too much,” Jen laughs, nodding in agreement. “We’ve all been there!” I smile at her and I can hear my Uncle sniggering under his breath, is he mad at me? I turn my attention to George as he sits on his chair, reading the morning paper. His glasses are on the point of his nose and he doesn’t meet my stare. My heart starts to pound and I am beginning to get a little flustered. I hate it when he is mad at me, I feel super guilty for piling on his stress, and he has enough to deal with, looking after the family and keeping a roof over our heads. And Rachel always has some type of drama for him to deal with, so I try to be the good one. The one that he doesn’t have to worry about, but somehow I feel that I bring him more stress than everyone else combined. I appreciate everything that he has done for me, but I hate that he has had to look after me. When my parents died, George didn’t have to take me in. My grandmother was still alive and she wanted to bring me up, in Boston, but George insisted that I come and live with him. I don’t know why he was so desperate for me to live with him and his family; perhaps he wanted a piece of my dad. I am grateful and I love my Uncle so much, but sometimes I wish that I had my own family. I can’t help but wonder how different my life would be, if my parents hadn’t died. Maybe I would be different, more girly, if I had my mom there to teach me how to be a woman. Perhaps I would feel differently about shopping and chick flicks, my life and my attitude would have been so different, if I had a mom. Don’t get me wrong, Jen has been great. She’s helped me through all of the difficult stages in my life, getting fitted for my first bra and doing my hair before my first date. But, it still doesn’t feel right. When Jen looks at me, she sees her husband’s niece, and when she looks at Rachel, she sees her beautiful daughter who she would do anything for. Sometimes it hurts to know that Jen will never see me as her daughter, but how can I expect her to be my mom, when she isn’t?

  “I take it from your smile, that you’re going out with that yahoo, again?” I frown at my uncle –why does he hate Dalton?

  “Now dear, be nice!” Jen says in a soothing tone. George rolls his eyes and then he meets my stare, pulling his newspaper away from his chubby, red face.

  “I’m just saying that I don’t trust that guy.” My heart starts to pound –does Uncle George know about Dalton? My mind is rushing and I try to compose my anxiety. I can’t risk my uncle sensing my emotions, he would question me about it and I wouldn’t know how to answer. I nervously play with my hair, as I think of an appropriate reply.

  “Uncle George, I know that Dalton is a little … intense. But he is a great guy and I really … like him.” I sigh and my Uncle stares at me –he isn’t impressed with my speech –try harder Rose. “He cares about me and I haven’t felt this way about anyone before. I guess I’m not asking you to like him, you can hate it him for all I care, but please can you accept him as a part of my life?” My uncle considers my words and he exhales, he looks defeated as he thrusts his hands into the air.

  “Okay Bugs, and I really don’t have to like him?” I laugh at my uncle’s reply and he presses a smile from his lips. He lifts his newspaper back to his eye-level as he asks me about my plans for today. “So where is he taking you, huh?”

  “Boston,” I say in a cool tone –hoping that he doesn’t mind that I am going out of town with Dalton. My uncle locks his eyes on mine and then he makes a darting look towards Jen. She pulls her eyes away from the TV set so that she can meet his stare.

  “What’s in Boston?” Jen asks. I feel that she needed to ask the question on my uncle’s behalf. He looks annoyed and worried, so I need to reassure him that I’m only going to a baseball game.

  “The Red Sox are playing the Yankees, Dalton is a huge fan.” My uncle laughs at my confession.

  “At least he knows a good team!” Dalton arrives shortly after and I’m surprised that he hasn’t tooted the horn for me to come out. I rush over to the front window and I slide open the grey blinds. I am anxious, when I see that Dalton is
walking in a smug manner along the garden path. I bite my lower lip, as I recoil the worry that is forming in my chest. I hear the doorbell ring and I instantly rush out of the lounge and into the narrow hallway. I pull open the front door and I smile when I see Dalton. He is wearing dark jeans and a navy baseball jersey with the word ‘BOSTON’ written across the front. His blonde hair is pushed back and his eyes are a deep shade of blue –he looks sinful. He moves closer to me and I catch a whiff of his strong cologne, I bask in his scent and then he speaks in his slightly southern accent.

  “Are you ready to go?” He says as he reaches his hand out for me. I nod and then my heart races when I hear my uncle stomping behind me. “Now look here son, I expect you to take good care of Rose. Do you understand me?” I blush –why does my uncle have to be so embarrassing? I shoot Dalton an apologetic look and I am surprised to see that his calm and sweet exterior is now replaced by a very serious, tense look.

  “Of course, sir,” Dalton says as he stares into my uncles eyes. George pats me on the head and he nods at Dalton. My face is on fire, but Dalton’s cool hand freezes my heat, when he pulls me out of the house. He slides his hand onto my lower back and he leads me to his car, whispering in my ear. “You’re Uncle scares the hell outta me!” I laugh –a vampire is scared of my sweet, old uncle, surly not!

  Three

  Dalton navigates through the city and now we are heading south towards Boston. The traffic is unusually calm for a game day and the miles are slipping away as Dalton presses his foot down onto the gas pedal. The hood of the car is dropped and the slightly warm air is blowing through my hair as we speed through the lanes. Dalton has been quiet and very calm and I can’t help but think that he is a little upset. I pull my eyes away from the road ahead, so that I can take in Dalton’s looks. He looks tense and I notice that he is concentrating on his driving, in a very serious manner. His hand is gripped onto the wheel and it looks as if it could snap in two from the pressure. His foot is firmly lodged onto the gas pedal and I start to feel a little uncomfortable when the car lunges forward. I grip onto the armrest and I try not to show that I am scared. The car is floating from lane to lane, overtaking every car in sight. My heart is pounding and I frown when I feel my phone buzzing from inside my jean pocket. I reluctantly pull my hand away from the rest and I reach into my jeans. I sigh when I see that Ryan is calling me and then an overwhelming cloud has come over me –I kissed him last night. My heart starts to race –crap what I am going to say to him? I feel super guilty that I lead him on and I can’t believe my own stupidity for kissing him. The phone continues to buzz and Dalton notices.

  “Aren’t you going to answer that?” I let out a sigh –don’t be a cowered Rose. I smile at Dalton and then I slide to answer.

  “Hey,” I say in an upbeat voice. Ryan doesn’t take long to reply. “Hey girl, are you hung-over?” “I’m not too bad actually, what about you?” He laughs down the phone –right he doesn’t get hung-over. “Sorry, that was a stupid question, so what you up to?”

  “Not much, just thinking about you.” My heart jumps –crap Ryan has hope. I need to put a dent in his hope –great I am hurting my friend.

  “Ryan, about last night…” I begin to explain, but Ryan jumps in first, gushing about our kiss. “It was perfect in every way possible, except for when that jerk ruined our moment.” My mind starts to rush and I am suddenly reminded that Dalton can hear everything that Ryan is saying. Crap this is awkward –think Rose. I can’t let Ryan think that we stand a chance of getting back together and I don’t want Dalton to think that either. I need to sort this, before it gets out of hand.

  “Ryan last night was a mistake. I was drunk, too drunk and mad at Dalton. I wanted to numb the pain that he caused me, so I kissed you hoping that it would make me feel something. I’m sorry, but I just don’t feel that way about you.”

  “So, you used me?” “No, yeah I guess I did. I’m sorry, like I said I was drunk. I know that’s no excuse, but please, I don’t want this to ruin our friendship. I care about you; I just don’t have loving feelings for you.”

  “Do you love him?”

  “Yeah,” I feel Dalton’s eyes burning through me, but I don’t meet his stare. I keep my eyes firmly on the speeding traffic as I await Ryan’s reply. “You know that I just want you to be happy, right?”

  “Yeah and that’s what I want for you too. I’m not the right girl for you, but she’s out there, waiting for you.” “You’re a sappy girl, you know that?” I laugh –thank God Ryan understands. I smile as I say my goodbyes to Ryan. He hangs up and I push my phone back into the pocket of my jeans. I try to steady my blowing hair and I am surprised when I feel Dalton’s hand on my knee. I turn my head to meet his stare and he is smiling at me. His lips are white and hand is chilling right through to my bones. My eyes fall onto my lap and onto Dalton’s hand. His fingers are gently caressing my leg and I place my hand onto his. My fingers tingle from his icy hand, and I let out a sigh as I maintain my stare.

  “Look at me,” Dalton says as he lifts his hand and grips onto my chin. He pulls my head towards his and my eyes lift and meet his. “You care about the boy, don’t you?” I blush at his words, but I feel that I need to explain the Ryan situation to him. I don’t want him to think that I have feelings for Ryan; he needs to know that I only have eyes for him.

  “He’s just a friend; I only have feelings … for you.” Dalton nods and he smiles, loosening my face in the process. My hands begin to tremble and I can sense that my mouth is about to run away with me, but I don’t care, I need to ask this question. “Have you ever turned anyone?” Dalton sighs and I can tell that he isn’t impressed, or pleased to hear my prying question. But I don’t care; I need to know the answer.

  “No,” he says in a firm tone –I narrow my eyes, I just don’t believe him. Is he trying to scare me off –again? He is desperate for me to change my mind about wanting to be vampire, is this another one of his tricks?

  “Your eyes, tell me that isn’t true!” Dalton hisses –he isn’t pleased with me. “Just stop it, Rose, okay?” I frown at him. Why is he being so annoying?

  “No, I want to know why you aren’t being honest with me. I have opened up to you, why can’t you do the same?” Dalton slows the car down and I begin to feel uneasy when he pulls into the slow lane. He grips the wheel, firm and strong and he breathes through his burning desire. He turns to look at me and I see that his eyes are burning, he is hungry –again. “Dalton, are you okay?” I ask as I feel that he needs a little comfort. Even though I am mad at him for not sharing whatever pain he has, I don’t want to witness that pain.

  “You don’t understand what you’re asking me to do!” Dalton says in a shaken voice. “Then explain it to me,” I say as I cup his cheek. Dalton sighs at my touch and he pulls the car into the nearest emergency bay. He flicks a switch and the roof folds up around us. He turns to face me with his intense blue eyes burning through me. He runs his fingers through his hair and he clears his throat before he speaks.

  “You’re beautiful, amazing and the only girl that I have ever … cared about. When I’m with you, I don’t feel like the monster that I am. I feel things for you, which I have never experienced before, things that I haven’t allowed myself to feel. But no matter how much I care about you, I would never ask you to change for me. Being a vampire isn’t normal and believe me you would regret it, forever.” I shake my head at him –I wouldn’t regret it. I would bask in it, I want it more than anything, and I want to be with him. My hearts flutters –he finally admits that he cares. I reach out and clasp my hands into his, he rolls his eyes at my affection and he starts again with the vampire-dissing. “If you were like me, then you wouldn’t feel the same things that you’re feeling now. Your heart would be empty, only lusting for blood. You wouldn’t want me, once you changed!” I finally understand. He thinks that being a vampire would stop me from loving him. This is crazy. I will always love him.

  “You think that I wouldn’t l
ove you if I was a vampire? That’s crazy talk; I would love you no matter what. Please, make me like you!” Dalton hits the steering wheel in frustration and I lose my patience with him. “Why are you so against this?” Dalton lunges his arms into the air and he grabs me by both sides of my face. His eyes are red and terrifying, his lips are white and he is in his vampire form. He stares through me, shaking me as if he were trying to wake me from a deep sleep.

  “I don’t want you to go through the same pain as I have!” Dalton shouts. “You have read my mind; you know how much I love you. How much I care and want you. You know that I would always love you. So forgive me if I don’t buy your lame excuse!”

  “Yes I have read your mind, but I have also read the mind of every innocent person that I have killed. Those thoughts haunt me and I don’t want you to experience the pain or the guilt that I have suffered, every day of my existence.” Of course it never occurred to me –Dalton has read the minds of all of his victims –could I handle that if I was a vampire? Maybe Dalton is right, maybe I shouldn’t want to be a vampire. What if it is a curse and you don’t know the extent of its force until you’re one of them? Turning into a vampire is forever, but living without Dalton would be a nightmare. I couldn’t get out of bed every day, knowing that he wasn’t there. Nothing would matter without him and my life would be over. As much of a risk turning into a vampire would be, it would be worth it, if I got to spend an eternity with him.

  “I never thought of it that way, but Dalton, I love you.” I say as I gently stroke his cold cheek. He gives into my touch for a few seconds and then he lifts my hand away from his skin. He positions himself back into his driving position and he starts the engine. The car roars and Dalton signals and then slams his foot down onto the gas pedal. The car lunges forward and I stick to the seat from the sudden acceleration. We sit in silence, for a few moments and then Dalton surprises me, when he grabs my arm and rests our clasped hands on the armrest. His breathing is slow and heavy and I almost think that he is going to pounce on me. But my thoughts are wrong as he locks his eyes on mine. They are a deep shade of blue, playful and intense.