Always A Bridesmaid (Left At the Altar)

by Richards, Jana

  Tenderness swamped him. She looked adorably tousled, like a woman who'd been made love to all night long, which was pretty much the case. He relived the things they'd said to each other, the things they'd done to each other. It had felt so right.

  Hard on the heels of that thought came the panic. What the hell had he done? He'd had no business sleeping with Dani. She wasn't the kind of girl a man casually slept with. She was a girl who needed commitment and forevers, and he was in no position to make her any promises.

  Besides, they barely knew each other. Both of them got caught up in the roles they were playing and had let themselves get carried away.

  Yet, as he watched her sleep, saw how her eyelashes swept over the sweet curve of her cheeks, watched her chest rise and fall with her breath, he was struck again by the conviction that he knew everything he needed to know about her. She was honest and kind, and not prone to playing games. She'd never lie to him.

  A voice in the back of his mind asked if knew that for certain. What about her connection to Jonathan? He'd seen her in the other man's arms with his own eyes. Her explanation felt true enough, but he'd been dogged by the suspicion that there was something she wasn't telling him.

  Had she lied? He couldn't bear if she'd lied to him.

  He lifted her hand from his chest and gently placed it on the bed, careful not to wake her as he slipped from beneath the covers. He didn't want to disturb her sleep; they'd made love long into the night and he knew she must be tired.

  Besides, he didn't want to have the "morning after" conversation right now. His thoughts were too jumbled to make any sense of his feelings. He needed time to process what had happened, to think about what to do next where Dani was concerned.

  He couldn't stand to be someone's second choice yet again.

  * * * *

  Dani woke with a jolt. In an instant, the events of the previous evening and night flooded back, and she felt warm all over. Zach had made love to her so passionately. That had to mean he cared for her, even if just a little.

  Didn't it?

  She hadn't known him long, but she believed he was an honorable man. He wouldn't make love to her and then toss her aside. At least she hoped that was the case.

  She glanced at the right side of her bed where he had slept. His pillow still held the indentation of his head. She touched it, wishing he'd stayed till she woke so they could talk things out. But what could she say? If she told him that last night had been the most amazing night of her life, that she wanted to repeat the experience every night for the rest of her life, that she was crazy in love with him, he'd run as far and as fast as he could.

  She wouldn't blame him. She'd only known him a short time. That her feelings for him should have blossomed so quickly and with such strength bordered on pure madness. But they had, and they were true.

  She hopped out of bed, found her dressing gown on the floor and headed for the shower. A smile tugged at her lips as happiness surrounded her heart. For today, she only wanted to enjoy being in love. Tomorrow she'd worry about what came next.

  * * * *

  Todd and Fiona's wedding went off without a hitch. Dani held back her tears while they recited their vows to each other, vows they'd written themselves. They promised to love, honor and cherish each other, and to always be each other's friend. Only by keeping her gaze locked on Zach's face was she able to stop herself from losing it completely.

  When the ceremony was over, she walked hand in hand with Zach down the aisle, unable to take her eyes off him. As the wedding party formed a receiving line to greet the guests as they exited the church, she couldn't stop smiling. Her smile turned to laughter as the photographer snapped pictures of the bride and groom and the bridal party. And when she danced with Zach in the beautiful hotel ballroom, joy bubbled over in her heart.

  "Isn't this beautiful?" she asked, taking in the flower arrangements and the spectacular chandeliers in the opulent ballroom.

  "Gorgeous." Zach grinned down at her.

  "I meant the ballroom," she said with a laugh.

  "Yeah, the room's nice," he said. "But it's got nothing on you."

  This time her bridesmaid dress suited her figure well. The high neckline kept her breasts locked and loaded with no fear of accidental spillage. The knee length black silk made her appear long and lean, and deemphasized her large bust, a challenging feat for any garment. Dani felt beautiful in it, especially when Zach looked at her as if she was something special.

  "I feel like Cinderella at the ball," she mused. "I wish the night didn't have to end." Soon the clock would strike midnight and she'd turn back into a pumpkin.

  "Maybe it doesn't have to end," he said carefully. "Maybe after this night is over, we'll go back home to Ottawa and get to know each other better."

  Elation filled her. Considering that since last night there wasn't an inch of Zach's body she wasn't intimately familiar with, getting to know each other better seemed rather redundant. But she knew what he meant, and her heart soared. He was considering a relationship beyond this fairy tale weekend. Inside her head she did a little happy dance.

  "I'd like that very much."

  He kissed her and held her close. "I'd like that, too."

  Soon the music stopped and they went back to the head table. Only Fiona and Chantal remained seated there.

  "Have you seen Jonathan?" Fiona said. "He seems to have disappeared. Todd is looking for him."

  "No, I haven't seen him." She looked at Zach for confirmation, and he shook his head as well. "Is something wrong?"

  "I don't know. He disappeared suddenly after dinner. Todd's concerned."

  She knew Jonathan wouldn't just suddenly disappear during his brother's wedding reception. Something serious must have happened. She made herself smile, not wanting to worry Fiona on her wedding day.

  "I'm sure everything's fine. Todd and Jonathan will be back soon."

  "You're probably right." Fiona's smile was unconvincing.

  "Jonathan is being extremely selfish," Chantal said. "This is Fiona and Todd's day, and he's ruining it by pulling a disappearing act."

  "He hasn't ruined anything," Fiona said. "I just hope he's okay."

  "Don't worry, Fee. He's a big boy. He can look after himself," Zach said.

  Chantal rolled her eyes. "Zach's right. He can take care of himself. But when he gets back here, I'm going to pound him out for worrying you."

  "I'm sure there's a perfectly good explanation for Jonathan's disappearance," Dani said, hoping it was true. She smiled up at Zach. "If you'll excuse me a moment, I have to powder my nose. I'll be right back."

  "Hurry."

  He kissed her, surprising her with the ardor of his kiss. She'd expected a little peck on the cheek, but instead he pulled her close, bringing his mouth to hers for a deep, intimate, drugging kiss. When she was in Zach's arms, nothing existed for her but him and the way he made her feel. She was finally brought back to the present by Chantal's voice.

  "Oh, for Heaven's sake, you two! You're embarrassing yourselves!"

  Dani blinked up at Zach. His eyes smoldered into hers, revealing the desire he felt. Her whole body quivered. Though she knew the kiss was probably for show, or at least had started that way, she hoped it meant they'd be spending the night making love in her room again tonight.

  "I'll be right back," she whispered, touching his face. He kissed her hand before letting her go.

  When she emerged from one of the cubicles in the women's washroom, Chantal stood at the vanity applying lipstick. Their eyes met in the mirror.

  "I hope you don't believe you'll hold Zach's interest for long," Chantal said. "As your friend, I've got to tell you that you'll only set yourself up for heartache if you think you've got a shot with him."

  Dani washed her hands and grabbed a paper towel. "I'm not going to discuss my relationship with Zach with you."

  "Please! What relationship?" Chantal's derisive tone grated on her nerves. "I know this supposed relationship between
you two is for my benefit. Zach thinks this farce of yours is fooling me, but he's only fooling himself. He'll come crawling back to me soon enough. He always does."

  "Is that what you want? For him to grovel and beg forgiveness as if he's done something wrong? You really don't care about Zach at all, do you? You don't want a real man with thoughts and feelings of his own. You just want someone you can control."

  Her beautiful face hardened. "Forget him, Dani. You're not his type."

  "Oh, you mean like your type? Manipulative, brainless and cruel? No, I'm not that type at all. Maybe Zach is looking for a woman who'll stimulate him mentally and physically--inside the bedroom and everywhere else. You never did have much going for you between your ears."

  She grabbed her clutch and left the washroom with as much dignity as she could muster, leaving Chantal staring at her in open mouthed shock. She'd never spoken to her that way before; she'd never spoken to anyone that way.

  She was proud of herself for standing up to Chantal, but she hated confrontation. Her hands shook and her heart raced as if she'd just done a hundred meter dash. She needed a moment to calm herself before returning to Zach.

  She headed down the elevator into the lobby of the hotel, hoping to find a quiet corner where she could compose herself for a few moments. As she rounded a corner, she ran into Jonathan, the impact from colliding with his broad chest nearly knocking her over again. He reached out to catch her.

  "We've got to stop meeting like this," she said when she'd steadied herself once more.

  "God, Dani, I'm sorry. So sorry." Jonathan bent to retrieve her clutch from the floor. When he stood up and looked into her face, she could see that he'd been crying. She touched his face.

  "Oh sweetie, what's wrong? What happened?"

  "Kevin's leaving me. He sent me a text this evening saying he realizes it's never going to work between us because I won't acknowledge who I am. I've been on the phone with him for the last half hour, trying to convince him to stay."

  She squeezed his hand. "I'm so sorry. Did you talk him into staying?"

  "I don't know. He agreed to talk with me in person, but didn't make any promises." Tears streamed down his face. "Kevin is the love of my life, the person I've been waiting for. I love him so much."

  She brushed away his tears with the pad of her thumb. "Then you have to fight for him."

  "I know. He's moving his things out of my apartment. I've got to stop him. Can you tell Fiona and Todd I'm sorry to leave so early? I hope they'll understand."

  "Of course they will. Go to Kevin and tell him how you feel."

  Jonathan pulled her close. "I will. Thank you, Dani, for being such a good friend to me this weekend."

  She kissed him. "Good luck. Let me know how things turn out."

  "I will." With one last embrace, he hurried out the lobby doors. Dani watched him leave. Would either of them get their happily-ever-after?

  "That looked very intimate. I'm surprised you let your boyfriend leave without you."

  Dani whirled around to find Zach staring at her with such contempt in his eyes it took her breath away.

  "Jonathan's not my boyfriend. He's a friend."

  "Sweet little Dani." He laughed, the sound bitter and angry. "I thought you were different. I thought you were the kind of girl who wouldn't play games. But you're the biggest gamer of them all, aren't you? You actually made me think you cared about me."

  "I do care about you! I love you! Please Zach, you've got to believe me."

  "Then tell me what you and Jonathan were talking about. Tell me what secret the two of you have together that you can't share with me."

  She stared at him, her heart breaking as she realized she couldn't tell him the truth, not without betraying her promise to Jonathan.

  "I can't."

  He took a breath and squeezed his eyes shut. "Then I guess we have nothing further to say to each other."

  She held back the tears that wanted to fall. "I love you, but if you can't believe I'm telling you the truth when I say Jonathan is a friend and nothing more, then no, I guess we don't have anything else to say."

  She waited, hoping he would change his mind and tell her he believed her, that he loved her, too. But that was a fantasy. A moment later, he turned around and left without a word.

  For several long minutes she stood completely still, too numb to move. Then the pain took over. She couldn't bear the thought of staying till the morning to see the contempt in his eyes again. The thought of seeing the triumph on Chantal's face as she gloated over her victory made her sick. She had to leave, now.

  She took the elevator upstairs to the cloak room to retrieve her coat, being careful not to be seen from the ballroom. Then she returned to the main floor lobby and asked the clerk at the front desk to call her a cab. She left a note with the concierge to give to Fiona, explaining that Jonathan had to leave to attend to an emergency and that she had to get back to Ottawa. A few minutes later, she was on her way to Camp Campbell's house. It was only when she arrived at the house that she remembered she had no way to get inside since everyone else was still at the hotel. But a light shone in a window in the lower level. Dani hoped that meant Adele had returned earlier.

  "Please wait here," she told the cab driver. "I'll need you to take me to the airport."

  She jumped out of the cab and ran to the house. Knocking on the basement window, she called, "Adele, are you there?"

  The curtain moved aside and Adele peered out. "Dani, what on earth are you doing out there?"

  "Can you let me in, please?"

  "Yes, of course. Go to the front door."

  A moment later she opened the front door. "What's going on? Why aren't you with Zach?"

  "I just came for my things," Dani said as she headed for the stairs. "I'll only be a minute."

  "Wait!" Adele touched her arm. "What's going on? Where's Zach?"

  "He's still at the hotel, I guess." She swallowed, her tears threatening to overtake her. "Please, Adele. Just let me go."

  "Did something happen with Chantal? Did he go back to her?"

  "No." She squeezed her eyes shut against a wave of nausea. The thought of the man she loved with a woman who wanted to control him rather than love him made her sick. "At least not yet."

  "Then what happened, sweetheart? Tell me."

  The concern on her face nearly undid Dani. "I told him the truth, but he didn't believe me. He doesn't trust me."

  Adele took her in her arms. "Oh honey, I'm sorry. My son gave his trust to Chantal a long time ago and she shattered it. He's never gotten it back."

  Dani took a deep breath, willing the tears to keep at bay. Adele was right. There was no hope for them. "I know."

  She pulled out of Adele's embrace and hurried up the stairs to her room. After quickly changing into jeans, she stuffed all her belongings into her bag and called the airport. She was able to change her flight to one that left at 6:00 a.m. Grabbing her bags, she raced down the stairs. Adele was waiting in the foyer.

  "Please extend my thanks to Camp for his hospitality this weekend. And if you see Fiona and Todd tomorrow, tell them I'm sorry to leave so abruptly, but I had to go."

  "And Zach? What do you want me to tell him?"

  She closed her eyes against the pain. "Tell him... Tell him I wish him well. Tell him I want him to be happy. Good bye, Adele."

  Adele embraced her tightly. "Goodbye, sweetheart."

  Dani picked up her bag and ran from the house. It wasn't until she was alone in the back seat of the cab that she allowed the tears and the grief to overtake her.

  * * *

  Chapter Ten

  Zach stirred milk into his coffee, watching as the color changed from dark brown to café au lait. For the first time in years, he craved a cigarette to go with the coffee. He fought the urge to find the nearest convenience store and smoke a whole pack at one sitting.

  Thankfully, the house was quiet and everyone was still asleep. He wasn't ready to face anyone yet, and
definitely couldn't bear the thought of answering any of their questions. Like "Where is Dani?" and "What did you do to make her run away?"

  When he'd arrived back at Camp's house around two in the morning, he'd gone to her room, to talk, and to make sure she was all right. Or maybe he'd gone there to grovel and beg forgiveness. He wasn't sure of his motives, but when he got to her room it was empty. She and all her things were gone, vanished in the night. She'd left no note, no goodbyes.

  He sipped his coffee. Maybe it was for the best. Things never would have worked between them. How could he trust someone who wouldn't tell him her true relationship with another man?

  But then he remembered the feel of her in his arms, and the way she'd looked at him, as if he was the only man in her world.

  Which woman was the real Daniella DiPietro?

  His mother entered the kitchen and poured herself a cup of coffee. She brought it to the kitchen table and sat across from Zach.

  "You're a damn idiot, you know."

  He sighed. "Good morning, Mother. It's nice to see you this fine morning, too."

  "Cut the crap. Dani came here just after midnight to get her things. She caught a 6:00 a.m. flight back to Ottawa. What did you do to her?"

  "I'm sure she told you her version."

  "She didn't tell me anything other than you wouldn't trust her when she told you the truth. What does that mean?"

  "Nothing. It means nothing." How could he believe she was just friends with Jonathan when he'd twice seen evidence to the contrary with his own eyes?

  "She also said she wishes you well, and she hopes you'll be happy."

  He closed his eyes and groaned. Happiness was beyond his grasp, meant for others but never for him.

  God, I miss I miss her already.

  His mother took both his hands in hers, squeezing tightly. "I love you Zach, more than anything in the world. And more than anything, I want you to experience the kind of love I had with your father. You deserve that. When I saw you with Dani, I hoped she was the one. Are you sure she still can't be?"