Always A Bridesmaid (Left At the Altar)

by Richards, Jana

  Would Zach look at her differently after the surgery? Would he think her more attractive?

  She brushed the thought aside. She was doing this for herself, not for any man. Not even Zach.

  She'd decided to have the surgery a long time ago. She'd been saving money for months, had researched the procedure for years. Before she'd made her final decision to have the breast reduction, she'd interviewed several surgeons in both Ottawa and Toronto. The date of the surgery had been finalized for February 14, weeks before she'd gone to Fiona's wedding last October and met Zach again.

  The irony of the date almost made her laugh.

  Even if Zach found her more attractive after the surgery, it was pointless. He'd already made it quite clear he was disappointed in her. And nothing could fix that.

  * * *

  Chapter Eleven

  Dani arrived at Union Station in Toronto around seven the following Friday evening. She'd had plenty of time during the four and a half hour train ride from Ottawa to think about her life and where she went from here. Nothing had really changed since her weekend with Zach. She was still the same person, with the same goals, and the same problems and strengths. Yet it felt as if everything was off kilter, as if the world had slid on its axis. She wouldn't be surprised if Ottawa suddenly experienced balmy tropical weather, even though it was late November.

  After stepping off the train, she walked into the massive station. A moment later she spotted Jonathan and lifted her hand to wave. He smiled and came towards her, enveloping her in a hug when they met.

  "It's so good to see you!" She rose onto tiptoes to kiss his cheek and instantly felt better, just seeing him again. His calming personality somehow made her believe everything was going to be okay. She imagined calmness was handy in his line of work.

  He grabbed her bag. "My car's nearby. Kevin's waiting for us at the condo. He's really looking forward to meeting you. He's been cooking all week."

  "I hope he hasn't gone to too much trouble."

  Jonathan grinned. "Are you kidding? He's in his element. There's nothing Kevin likes better than feeding people. He loves having guests over."

  "He sounds like fun."

  "He is. If it were up to me I'd probably be a hermit on my days off, but Kevin makes sure I have a social life and actually interact with people."

  She studied his smile. An aura of contentment surrounded him, a sense of peace that hadn't been there when she'd first met him. "He makes you happy. I like him already."

  A wistful smile formed on his lips. "Yeah, he makes me very happy. Everything I went through with my parents was totally worth it to have him in my life."

  She put her arm around his waist and hugged. "I'm so glad for you, Jonny."

  He dropped a kiss on the top of her head. "Now all we have to do is find the perfect man for you."

  "Good luck with that," she said and rolled her eyes.

  He laughed. "Come on, let's go home."

  Kevin greeted them at the door of the condo. He was dark where Jonathan was fair, slightly built where Jonathan was heavily muscled, ying to his yang. In contrast to Jonathan's extreme good looks, Kevin appeared ordinary. Only his striking brown eyes, fringed by thick, dark lashes, saved him from plainness.

  He took Dani's hands. "I've heard so much about you, I feel I know you already."

  "So do I. I'm happy to finally meet you."

  "It's our absolute pleasure. Come on in, kick your shoes off and make yourself comfortable. The wine is chilling and hot hors d'oeuvres will be ready in about two minutes."

  "Sounds wonderful." Dani felt the stress of the last few weeks seep from her body. Coming here had definitely been a good idea.

  She took a seat on the leather sofa, slipping off her shoes and tucking her feet beneath her. Jonathan handed her a glass of white wine.

  "Comfortable?"

  Dani leaned her head against the buttery leather. "Very."

  Kevin arrived with a plate of hors d'oeuvres and held them out to her. "These are all made with low-fat cheese and grilled vegetables instead of meat or other high fat ingredients." He gave her a rueful grin. "I've had issues with weight, too, so I've learned a few food tricks over the years."

  "Really? You've had a weight problem?" Dani took the napkin Kevin handed to her and reached for an appetizer, a mushroom cap with an au gratin topping. "You don't look like you've been overweight a day in your life."

  "Then looks are deceiving," he said with a laugh. "I've got the pictures to prove it." He sat next to Jonathan on the love seat opposite the sofa. "I was heavy as a kid and consequently I was bullied a lot. It was bad enough being fat, but being fat and gay made me a huge target. No pun intended."

  She couldn't help but grin at Kevin's joke, even as she was horrified by what he'd been through. "I'm so sorry. I know what it's like to be teased mercilessly because of being fat, but I can't imagine how it must have been for you to be bullied because you liked boys instead of girls."

  "There were times I thought about ending it all," he said quietly. Jonathan took his hand and he smiled at him. "Finally, when I was sixteen, my mother took me to a dietician who got me hooked on healthy eating and I started to lose weight. I joined Weight Watchers and a gym, and by the time I was nineteen, I was about the weight I am now. But that was only part of my battle."

  "What do you mean?"

  "I had to accept who I was and learn to love myself exactly the way I was. Once I did that, everything else fell into place."

  Jonathan brought their entwined hands to his lips for a kiss. He smiled tenderly. "You're the one who taught me to accept myself. I've never been happier than I have these last few weeks with you."

  Dani swallowed back tears. What they'd overcome to get to their happily ever after was truly remarkable. Seeing them together, she wondered if she could ever get to a place where she completely accepted the way she looked. If she did, would it bring her the kind of happiness and peace her friends now experienced, or would she forever be searching for the kind of fulfillment they had?

  * * * *

  Dani hadn't been home from Toronto an hour when she got a phone call from her brother Tony, Olivia's husband. She should have known Liv would eventually tell Tony about Zach.

  He didn't bother to say hello. "Just tell me where this Zach character lives and me and the boys will have a little discussion with him about how he's treated our baby sister."

  "Oh please. Don't go all Italian mucho-big-brother on me. I can take care of myself."

  "Liv said you were crying. That doesn't sound like you're taking care of yourself."

  "I got my heart broken, Tony. I had a little cry and I'm much better now. You don't have to fight my battles for me. I'm a big girl now."

  "Dammit, Dani. I want to help. That's what big brothers are supposed to do. I want to make it all better."

  "I know you do, and I love you for it. But there's nothing you can do."

  She heard him sigh. "You're sure we can't rough up this Zach just a little? Make him see the error of his ways?"

  "Absolutely not."

  He sighed again. "Fine. But if he gives you any more trouble, call me."

  "He's not going to give me any trouble."

  "I mean it, Dani. If he bothers you, you call me. Or I'm telling Mom and Dad on you."

  She couldn't help but laugh. "Very mature, Tony. What are you going to tell them?"

  "Do you really want me to tell Mom you have a broken heart? She'll be on you like white on rice."

  He had a point there. "True enough. I honestly don't expect to ever hear from Zach again, but I promise, if he bothers me in any way, I'll call you."

  "Good." Tony sounded satisfied. "I've got to go. I love you."

  "I love you, too."

  "You're beautiful, you know that, don't you?"

  Her throat closed. She squeezed her eyes shut to stop the tears. "Sure."

  "Good. I'll see you."

  "Bye."

  Tony had always been over-prote
ctive where she was concerned. But she knew that whatever he did he did out of love. The big lug.

  But his phone call had illustrated one thing very clearly to her. She needed to stop moping and get back to her life.

  Without Zach.

  * * * *

  Zach tapped his pen against his desk. "If you need any more information, don't hesitate to phone me again, Todd."

  "I will. Right now I think I have everything I need to get started."

  "Good." He'd hired Todd to design a new computer system for one of his clients. He had every confidence his friend could get the system up and running on time and on budget. "How's Fee?"

  "She's great. She's totally occupied with renovations to our kitchen right now. I figure it should be done in six to eight weeks. If we're lucky, we'll have it paid for by our silver anniversary."

  Zach chuckled. When Fiona started a job, she was totally absorbed until it was done. "Going all out, is she?"

  "That's for sure. She wants a slick, modern kitchen like the one Jonny has in his condo. Of course, that was built new, whereas we'll have to retrofit a modern kitchen into a hundred year old house. Not an easy job. Oh hey, speaking of Jonny, did Dani tell you she came to visit him here in Toronto a couple of weeks ago?"

  For a moment he couldn't breathe. Todd's casual comment had sucker punched right in the solar plexis, robbing him of breath and speech. He squeezed his eyes shut. His worst fears had come true. Dani and Jonny were together now.

  "Zach, are you still there?"

  He cleared his throat. "Yeah, I'm here. No, I didn't know Dani visited Jonny. We haven't spoken."

  "Really? I kind of thought you two were close. I mean, the way you were at the wedding--"

  "It didn't work out."

  "Oh. I'm sorry to hear that. I really like Dani."

  He closed his eyes. So do I. He had to end this call.

  "I'll touch base with you in about a week so I can give my client an update on the progress of the new system."

  "Sounds good," Todd replied, all business once more. "I'll speak to you then."

  Zach disconnected the call and set the phone on his desk. He'd known from the first time he'd seen them together in the sun room on the third floor of Camp's rented house that there was the distinct possibility their relationship could grow into something far more serious than friendship. A picture of Dani curled in Jonny's lap tormented him, refusing to go away.

  At least he knew Jonny was a good guy and would treat her well. He'd had his chance and he'd blown it.

  Still, knowing she was with someone else hurt more than he could have ever believed possible.

  * * * *

  Dani couldn't believe it when Chantal's name popped up on her call display. What on earth could she possibly want with her?

  She answered the phone with trepidation. Despite her feelings for Chantal, she was curious.

  "Hello?"

  "Dani, hi, it's Chantal. It's so good to hear your voice!"

  She sounded way too cheerful. Exactly what did she want?

  "Why are you calling me, Chantal?"

  "To see how you are, of course." She sounded hurt. "Can't a girl check up on her friend?"

  She felt immediately contrite. Maybe she was trying to change.

  "I'm sorry. How have you been?"

  "I've been great, wonderful actually! I'm getting married!"

  "Married? To who?" Dani held her breath. Dear God, please, please, please don't let it be Zach.

  "To Harry, of course, silly. Who else?"

  She let out her breath in a long exhale. Thank God, thank God, thank God.

  "I hope the two of you will be very happy," she said.

  "We will be, I'm sure of it. And I want you to be part of our happiness. This time I'll make sure you get a dress in a size that fits you perfectly."

  "Wait. You want me to be your bridesmaid again?"

  "Of course. I've got my eye on some designer bridesmaid gowns in dark blue--"

  "Chantal, I'm sorry, but I can't be your bridesmaid."

  "Don't be silly. Of course you can. I harbor no hard feelings over the way you behaved with Zach at Fiona's wedding. There's no reason we can't work together again."

  "Are you kidding me?" The nerve of the woman! "You insulted me the entire weekend and propositioned Zach right in front of me. Why would I consent to be in the same room as you, let alone act as your bridesmaid?"

  "Dani, we both know that thing between you and Zach that weekend was a complete farce, so please, don't insult me by pretending it was real. Now, can we please talk about your dress? I was thinking navy blue taffeta this time, perhaps knee length--"

  "No!" The word erupted from deep inside her.

  "Don't be silly, you're my friend. I need you. Of course you'll be my bridesmaid."

  "No! No I won't! Whatever we are to each other, Chantal, we certainly aren't friends. Maybe we were at one time, but not anymore. I wish you good luck with your marriage. Goodbye."

  "But--"

  Whatever Chantal had been about to say was lost as Dani hung up. Her hands shook as she set the phone on the table. She took a few deep breaths to calm herself. And then she started to smile as she realized that, for the first time, she'd actually said no to Chantal. Actually, it was the first time she'd ever said no to anyone who asked her to be a bridesmaid. Had she been so desperate for people to like her, so afraid of losing their friendship that she said yes to every request?

  Well, nuts to that!

  She let out a breath in relief. Everybody didn't have to like her, any more than she had to like everybody else. From now on she'd surround herself with the people she really cared about and wanted as friends.

  Halleluiah! She'd finally said no and the world didn't come to an end.

  Damn it felt good!

  * * * *

  Dani sat in her parents' kitchen, her hands wrapped around her mug of tea. Her mother bustled around, preparing all of Dani's favorite dishes for dinner. Visiting her parents had definitely been a good idea. Even though she hadn't told her mother about Zach, Rose DiPietro had known instinctively that she was hurting and had set to work to make her feel better in the best way she knew how--by feeding her. She just had to be careful not to let all that comfort go to her hips.

  Her father entered the kitchen through the back door, smiling when he saw her at the kitchen table.

  "Daniella, cara! It's nice to see you! About time you visited your old folks. We haven't seen you since Christmas Day."

  Dani kissed his weathered cheek. "Hi, Papa. You make it sound as if Christmas was months ago. It was only last week."

  She'd spent a lovely Christmas with her family. The midnight mass at the church, the decorations and food at her parents' home, and the excitement of her nieces and nephews as they waited for Santa, made Christmas as special as it was to her every year. But this year she'd felt something, or someone, was missing. She'd thought about Zach every hour of every day, wondered what he was doing over the holidays, even though she'd promised herself to forget him and move on.

  He was proving a hard man to forget. She wasn't sure if she even wanted to.

  Francisco DiPietro enfolded his wife in a loving embrace while Dani watched. Ever since she could remember, her parents had openly expressed their love for each other with tender kisses and loving touches. On many occasions they'd embarrassed her and her brothers by smooching in front of their friends. Though it had mortified her as a teenager, she found it comforting and endearing as an adult.

  But at the same time, her parents' relationship had never quite made sense to her. As much as she loved them both, she'd never understood the attraction between them. Her father was tall, dark, and even in his sixties, he was still a handsome man. In the old photographs, he'd been extraordinarily good-looking, much like her brother Tony. In fact, all her brothers had inherited their father's good looks in varying degrees.

  But as much as she loved and adored her mother, Dani would never describe her as phys
ically beautiful. Where Frank Sr. was tall and slim, Rose DiPietro was short and round. Her most striking features were her large dark eyes and long lashes. Unfortunately, her lovely eyes were obscured by her heavy prescription glasses. Her hair was beginning to turn grey, but had once been a mousy brown. Dani had always been grateful she'd inherited her father's thick, dark hair.

  That had been the only thing she'd inherited from him. In every other respect, she was a chip off her mother's genetic block.

  Lucky me.

  "Frank, something is bothering Daniella, but she won't talk about it," Rose said as she poured him a cup of tea. "I think she has man troubles."

  "Man troubles, eh?" Frank Sr. looked at her over the rim of his cup with compassionate dark eyes. "Do you want me to have a little talk with this fellow who made you unhappy?"

  Dani laughed. "You sound exactly like Tony. No, that won't be necessary, Papa. I'm fine, really."

  Her parents exchanged a look that told her they weren't buying it for a minute. Rose put her hand on her husband's shoulder.

  "We just want you to be happy, cara. We want all our children to have the kind of relationship we've been lucky enough to be blessed with."

  "I know, Mom. I want that, too, but what you two have is a rare commodity."

  "I know, but--"

  The telephone rang, and Rose left to answer it. From her mother's side of the conversation, Dani gleaned that her Aunt Aurora, her mother's sister, wanted to talk. Dani heaved a sigh of relief. From experience she knew that when Aunt Aurora wanted to talk, it could take a while. She was grateful for the reprieve because she didn't feel up to spilling her guts to them just yet.

  Rose took the cordless phone with her into the living room, talking in a rapid fire mixture of English and Italian. Dani heard her shout instructions from the next room.