Pinkie Pie Steps Up

by G. M. Berrow

  A murmur of excited whispers erupted among the nominees.

  “Wooooo!” Pinkie cheered into her megaphone. “Go, Songbiiiiiird! You can do it!” She had wanted to throw some confetti, but she was all out. Pinkie had just begun to look through her bag for some streamers or a supportive sign to hold up, when Jazz Hoof called out from the stage.

  “Who’s out there?” he shouted, annoyed.

  “It’s meeeee!” Pinkie Pie called out. “Don’t worry; I think I have an extra rubber chicken in here if it encourages you. Chickens are birds, so that works?” Pinkie shrugged, and waved the chicken in the air like a pennant flag. “Go, Song Chicken! Whoopsies! I mean… GO, SONGBIRD!”

  “ ‘Song chicken’? What in the glittery go-go boots is that pony on about?” Jazz Hoof muttered to the musicians. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of this.” He rolled his eyes and turned back to the seats. “This is a closed rehearsal! Please leave at once, whoever you are, or we’ll have you escorted out by security!”

  That pony was so rude that it made Pinkie Pie want to storm out, but instead she decided that maybe she could teach Jazz Hoof and these pop ponies a thing or two about friendship.

  Pinkie Pie was here to stay, whether they liked it or not.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  It’s my new friend Pinkie Pie. She’s with me!” Songbird chirped. Everypony strained to look at the offender, shielding their eyes with their hooves so they could catch a glimpse of her in the darkened seats.

  “Well, that’s nice, Songbird.” Jazz Hoof sighed. “But what is she doing here? Glammy rehearsals are only for singers and dancers.”

  “Oh! Sorry if this throws anypony off, but I’ve decided to change my performance.” Songbird Serenade took a step forward and turned to her fellow nominees. “Instead of a big show with crazy costumes and sets, there’s just going to be me, and a spotlight on Pinkie Pie… dressed as me!” Songbird grinned and waved her hoof through the air to illustrate her point. “I really think that her dance moves will represent my words better than a flashy set can. It’s going to be so unexpected and raw. I can’t wait! What do you think?”

  Nopony said anything, but the other nominees did seem to be feeling quite the range of emotions. Sapphire Shores looked taken aback, while Ritzy Rose and Moonlight Melody tried desperately to stifle their snickers. Feather Bangs, Daisy Chain, and Jewel Tone just seemed confused. Countess Coloratura was the only one who was nodding along in approval. “That actually sounds incredible! It kinda reminds me of the Helping Hooves Music Festival performance I did in Ponyville. Can I—?”

  “No, no, no!” Jazz Hoof interrupted as he trotted over to Songbird Serenade. “This just won’t do. Nopony is allowed to make any changes to anything. Doesn’t anypony remember this year’s theme?” More than anything in life, Jazz Hoof loved a solid theme.

  “It’s ‘Musical Menagerie’!” Daisy Chain interjected with a chirpy tone. Her curly yellow mane bounced as she nodded enthusiastically. “Our acts are all supposed to be inspired by different animals! Mine features cows, Sapphire’s has a dolphin theme, Feather’s is—”

  “That’s right, Daisy,” Jazz Hoof interrupted again. “It’s brilliant. And I worked hard to arrange everything that you all preordered. Songbird—what about your aviary-themed sets? Those giant gold birdcages were going to be everything! Everything.” Jazz Hoof let out a big sigh and put his hoof to his forehead. “If you don’t use them, then I just can’t even.”

  “You can’t even what?” asked Pinkie Pie, finally trotting up the stairs to join the nominees on the stage.

  “You know… I can’t even!” Jazz Hoof was getting impatient. So were the other pop stars, who all began calling their assistants over to not-so-subtly whisper orders into their ears.

  “Ooh! Ooh! Let me guess!” Pinkie rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “You can’t even… find your favorite rubber ducky and now you’re really sad because bath time is way less fun? Or maybe you can’t even decide what flavor of ice cream to eat for dinner… ?” Pinkie Pie slumped. “Wow, that would be really sad, actually. If you need any ice cream guidance, I’m here, buddy.”

  Jazz Hoof turned to Songbird and raised his sparkly eyebrows at her. He was clearly not impressed with this turn of events.

  “Trust me, Jazz.” Songbird Serenade shrugged with a smirk. “We don’t need big, fancy sets—Pinkie Pie is going to steal the show!”

  “She’d better,” muttered Ritzy Rose to Moonlight Melody, loud enough for Pinkie Pie to hear. “Or Songbird Serenade might have just lost herself Pop Pony of the Year.” Moonlight and Ritzy hoof-bumped. With their biggest competition—Songbird Serenade—out, they’d be one step closer to winning.

  It was all Pinkie Pie needed to hear. No way was she going to let a bunch of meanies win that award over her kind new friend! Pinkie Pie puffed out her chest and made a Pinkie Promise to herself.

  She would dance like nopony was watching.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  A heavy beat boomed through the Stables Center, echoing through the cavernous space as Sapphire Shores bounced around the stage, joined by twelve ponies wearing dolphin-print dresses. Waves constructed out of huge wood panels painted blue swayed back and forth in front of them. “Feel the waves! Let the rhythm wash over you! Wave your hooves to the motion… motion of the ocean!” Sapphire Shores belted out. Even though it was only the first dress rehearsal for the Pop Pony of the Year nominees, everypony looked and sounded flawless.

  Backstage, everypony else was preparing for their turns on the stage. Songbird Serenade’s new song, “Crystal Heart,” was up next on the schedule. She quietly sang the lyrics to herself, stomping her hoof to keep time. “Whoaaaa, I’ve got strong hooves and a crystal heart… but your magic spells might be too smart!”

  A sound assistant pony came up and passed Songbird a headset microphone. “Your assistant told me you preferred headset sound to Unicorn magic amplifiers, is that right?”

  “That’s right.” Songbird winked at him and held up the microphone. “Once again, Crownpiece has thought of everything.” The singer trotted over to Pinkie Pie, who was busy doing stretches in front of a standing mirror. Pinkie Pie seemed tense.

  “Songbird… are you sure I’m ready for this?! I really want to do the best job dancing ever,” Pinkie Pie confessed. The only preparation Pinkie Pie had done so far was getting fitted for a mane wig that matched Songbird’s signature style—yellow on one side and black on the other, with choppy bangs hanging down over her eyes. The huge pink bow on the back of her head and black high-necked top just like Songbird’s really brought the look together.

  “Of course I’m sure, Pinkie!” Songbird Serenade assured. “Plus, you all look perfect. I just love these costumes. So much better than the feathered, light-up leotards you were supposed to be wearing. Simplicity is so underrated, don’t you think?”

  “Yeah!” Lyra and Bon Bon replied in unison, nodding. Their costumes were just plain black dresses with no frills or feathers whatsoever. Pinkie Pie still hadn’t been able to figure out why Lyra and Bon Bon were here. She was going to ask them, but as soon as the duo had arrived, they’d excused themselves for a “tour” of the theater. When they’d returned hours later, they were both wearing black sunglasses and looked stressed out. Then Songbird had brought them up to the stage. Very suspicious.

  “Sorry we took so long in our… uh… costume fitting earlier!” Lyra said apologetically. She tugged at her black dress.

  “Did we miss anything?” Bon Bon said, her voice wavering with nerves. “What are we even supposed to be doing out there?”

  “Relax, girls,” Songbird insisted. “Just do exactly what you did at the party and I’ll take care of the rest. We’re going to be magnificent! And if we’re not, it doesn’t matter, because nopony is in the audience today. That’s why it’s called a rehearsal!” Songbird chuckled and walked off to do some more vocal exercises. She was always so coolheaded and professional. It was no wonder the other pop stars were so intim
idated by her.

  While Songbird was out of earshot, Pinkie Pie took her chance to dig for details. “All right, you two. My Pinkie Sense has been tingling since the moment you took your first bite of a cheesy slice at Hay’s Pizza. Why were you there? And then at the party?” Pinkie Pie narrowed her eyes, even though Lyra and Bon Bon couldn’t see this through her thick Songbird wig. “You’ve been slinking around me like two sneaky snakes for days! I’m onto you.…”

  Lyra’s and Bon Bon’s faces fell. They quickly exchanged a guilty look—the look of two ponies who had been caught. A moment of silence passed as they considered their next move.

  “Aha!” Pinkie Pie pointed her hoof at Bon Bon, triumphant. “I was right! You are up to something.”

  Finally, Bon Bon spoke. “All right, fine. You caught us. What do you know?”

  Onstage, Sapphire Shores and her team were still practicing. They were on the sixth run-through of their number. Sapphire was attempting to rework the choreography, due to somepony tripping over the wooden waves in the final verse and nearly knocking the star off the stage in the process. Jazz Hoof was flitting about, giving orders and opinions to Sapphire Shores like a hyper hummingbird with a belly full of nectar.

  “Sugarcane!” he barked before taking a sip of his gigantic iced green tea. “When I said stay in line, I meant it. Okay, ladies, get in formation!” Sugarcane nodded and scrambled back to her spot and the music began again.

  Sapphire counted them in. “And five… six… five, six, seven, eight… BA-BAM!”

  “So what is it, girls?” Pinkie Pie pried, bringing the attention back to the matter at hoof. She walked in a circle around them to intimidate them, just like Shadow Spade did to the suspects in her best-selling mystery novels. “Planning a little heist, are we? Stealing somepony’s identity, hmmm? Trying to get closer to the biggest pop star in Equestria so you can ponynap her and demand a ransom of a thousand chocolate chip cookies?!” Pinkie Pie leaned in so close they could smell the cupcakes on her breath. “Which is it?”

  “Pinkie Pie, what we are about to tell you may shock you . . .” Lyra explained, lowering her voice to a whisper even though the music was loud enough to mask their conversation. “But it won’t be the first time you’ve heard it. Last time, things got too out of hoof and we had to do a Reflection Deflection spell on you and—”

  “No way!” Pinkie Pie scoffed, causing Songbird to stop singing and look over. Pinkie Pie smiled and waved at her. When Songbird waved back, Pinkie turned back to Lyra and Bon Bon. She pushed up her wig’s bangs so the ponies would know she meant business. “If somepony had performed a spell on me, I would definitely remember it happening!” Pinkie Pie had an incredibly accurate memory for details. It’s how she knew everypony in Ponyville’s birthday, favorite flavor of cake, and favorite balloon colors.

  “Normally, yes. But not if it’s a memory-erasing spell . . .” Bon Bon said through gritted teeth. “But look, that’s not the point.”

  “Exactly!” Pinkie Pie nodded, triumphant. “The point is . . .” She scratched her wig-head. “Wait—what was the point again?” Maybe the memory-erasing spell had erased more than she thought.

  “The point is, you asked what we are doing here.” Bon Bon’s face grew serious. “Lyra and I are here on a mission to—”

  But before the pony could finish her sentence, a bloodcurdling shriek rang out from behind one of the backstage curtains.

  CHAPTER NINE

  Ritzy Rose pushed the heavy velvet curtains aside and tore past Pinkie Pie.

  “AHHHHHH! MY SETS!” She burst out onto the stage, causing Sapphire Shores and her dancers’ routine to come to a screeching halt. The music stopped as Ritzy Rose cried out again. Her pretty face contorted into an expression of despair. “All my beautiful sets have been ruined!”

  “Who would do such a thing?” Moonlight Melody asked as she rushed out to the stage to support her friend. She put a supportive hoof on Ritzy’s back. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes, I’m sure. Somepony is clearly trying to sabotage me!” whined Ritzy Rose, jutting out her red-painted lips. “Of course this would happen to me!”

  “Everypony, take five while we check this out.” Jazz Hoof sighed, and waved his hoof at Sapphire Shores and her dancers. They scattered into groups to whisper about the drama. Jazz Hoof seemed skeptical of the claim, and for good reason. Ritzy Rose was known in the music community as the pony most likely to make a mountain out of a Breezie hill. Last year, the Pegasus had made a huge fuss about the fact that there were red apples instead of green ones in her dressing room.

  Even though Pinkie Pie really wanted to finish her conversation with Lyra and Bon Bon, she couldn’t help following the curious group of ponies as Ritzy led the way to the storage area, where all the sets were being held. It was supposed to be locked up tight, but the heavy wooden door was wide open, with the gigantic metal padlock swinging.

  The room had been cordoned off into eight sections—one for each of the Pop Pony of the Year nominees to store the over-the-top Musical Menagerie set pieces that Jazz Hoof had demanded they all order. There was so much wild and crazy stuff it reminded Pinkie Pie of her own party-supply cave back home in Ponyville.

  “It’s so beautiful.…” Pinkie cooed as she trotted past a pair of giant sculpted swans that had slides built in to their backs for Moonlight Melody’s performance, a light-up Ursa Major backdrop for Jewel Tone’s, and hundreds of stuffed bunnies for Feather Bangs’s ridiculous number. There was even something that resembled Pinkie’s giant party cannon! Only this one was black and painted with a big pink bow on the side.

  “Over there!” Ritzy cried out dramatically. “See for yourselves!” Sure enough, Ritzy’s section was a disaster. The teal and purple rhinestone platforms that her dancers were supposed to stand on during the show looked as if somepony had bucked holes into them, and the peacock-feather curtains had been ripped to shreds. Glittering feathery debris lay everywhere.

  Everypony erupted into a tizzy. Jazz Hoof began pacing back and forth, tugging on his yellow mane and hyperventilating.

  “Look!” wailed Daisy Chain. “Something’s wrong with mine, too!” She galloped over to her section. All it had was a papier-mâché cow on wheels, a gingham curtain, and a bunch of hay bales made from glow sticks tied together. Daisy was obviously going for a country-glam look in her number. “Somepony moved my cow!”

  “I think what you meant to say is that somepony mooooooooved it,” Pinkie corrected.

  Everypony turned as Crownpiece burst into the storage room. She galloped over to Pinkie Pie and Songbird, nearly dropping her saddlebag full of notes and schedules in the process. “What happened? I came back from my errands and nopony was onstage!” Several other nominees were now discovering that their sets had also been tampered with, but none to the extent of Ritzy Rose’s disaster. There was also iridescent rainbow glitter everywhere for some odd reason. Crownpiece paused and looked around at the sparkly destruction. “Did, uh… something happen?”

  “I’m afraid so.…” Songbird shook her head sadly. “It looks like poor Ritzy’s sets have been ransacked.”

  “How terrible!” muttered Crownpiece. She hung her head, looking as if she might cry. Her wavy gold mane fell over her eyes. Then she quickly began fumbling with her files to look for something. “Maybe Ritzy Rose can go minimal with her performance like you?”

  “Hey, that’s weird! The culprit left your stuff alone, Rara.” Pinkie Pie motioned to Countess Coloratura’s storage area. The giant model of a tiger’s head was completely intact. Perhaps whoever had committed the act had run out of time? “Maybe they just really like tigers.”

  Moonlight Melody appeared beside them. “That is really strange, now that you mention it.…” She raised a suspicious brow.

  Immediately, Ritzy Rose’s eyes moved right to Countess Coloratura. “Why would your things be the only ones untouched, Rara? Unless you had something to do with this . . .” Ritzy’s pierci
ng blue eyes bore into her.

  Countess Coloratura opened her mouth, but all that came out were a few panicky stutters. “B-b-b-but I w-would never—”

  It appeared that Rara was now the pony in the spotlight, but for all the wrong reasons.

  CHAPTER TEN

  All right, everypony! Let’s just cool our cutie marks for a second here!” Jazz Hoof interjected. The director galloped over before anypony else could make another baseless accusation. “Do not point hooves. Pop Pony of the Year is a competitive category, but none of us here would ever stoop so low as to ruin another’s performance, right? That’s amateur stuff! We are professionals.”

  Rara sighed with relief.

  “Couldn’t have said it better myself,” replied Songbird Serenade. The two newbies, Daisy Chain and Feather Bangs, nodded in agreement, clearly hoping to appear above “amateur stuff.” The others looked less convinced. Pinkie Pie couldn’t help noticing that Moonlight and Ritzy seemed disappointed.

  “Thank Celestia, we have enough time to fix these sets.” Jazz Hoof trotted over to the door, leaned down, and inspected the broken door lock. It didn’t look like the work of Unicorn magic. From the scratchy scrapes on the metal, it appeared as if somepony had picked it with a rusty tool. “But we obviously need to ramp up security around here because this isn’t going to—”

  “Cut the mustard?” Pinkie Pie finished for him. “Toot the flugelhorn? Burp the baby?”

  “All of the above,” Jazz Hoof replied sincerely. He faced the group and crossed his hooves. He was maintaining quite a cool composure compared to how he’d been when somepony had messed up a dance move. “Now, call in your best security ponies and designers, put yourselves back together, and get your flanks dancing again. The show must go on!” He stuck his muzzle up in the air and pranced out of the storage room to find himself a restorative cold-pressed fruit smoothie. Even for him, it appeared, this was too much drama. And he loved drama.