Fault Lines

by K. C. Stewart

  “Needed the air,” she said blandly.

  He rubbed a hand down his tanned face. “Look what you saw…”

  “We really don’t have to do this,” she explained. “I really don’t want to do this. I came to see you. I saw you. Goodbye.” Mira tried to turn but he caught her arm.

  “Stop. Just stop already. Lee and I kissed. It was unexpected and just a test of sorts to see if there was anything still there.” His hands were heavy on her shoulders but what she really noticed was the desperation in his words. “It’s over between us, for good. It felt like I was kissing my sister and she said the same thing.”

  “Congratulations. Now let me go.”

  “No.” His fingers tightened. “No. Did you even listen to what I said?”

  She had. They kissed, they found out they were no longer attracted to each other, and that was that. But Mira was still done. She hadn’t even seen the kiss but she felt like someone had stabbed her in the heart. The intensity scared the ever living crap out of her. It was too soon to be feeling like this. Too soon to be even considering something more. Hell, they were two difference species for god sake! Lee had been right, they could never work because of what she was. Or, in this case, what she wasn’t. This was a ridiculous quest and Mira felt embarrassed for even coming.

  “I did hear you but I need to go home now. This was a mistake.”

  One of his hands moved up to her neck. “No, don’t think that. I’m so happy you are here. Don’t leave, not over something stupid.”

  Mira grabbed his wrists and lifted them from her body. When she was a safe distance away she said, “It’s not stupid. I’m not like you. That may not be a problem now but it will be eventually. I don’t do long distance relationships and neither of us can move. I mean, we barely know each other. I spent a week here. That was it. You have a solid life here. You have a huge family and people who depend on you. We should stop this before it gets to be too much. We had a fling,” she shook her head, “Not even that. We kissed a few times that was it. Go back to your people, Owen, and I’ll go back to mine.”

  Half way through her little speech he had closed himself off. She’d seen him do it with others but now that she was on the other end of that blank stare, she wanted to cringe and hide away. “That’s what you want?”

  No. “It’s what’s best.”

  His eyes narrowed. “That’s not what I asked.”

  She found it hard to look at him. So she didn’t. Mira took the coward’s way out and looked down. “Yes, it’s what I want.”

  His feet went out of view as he walked away. As Mira looked up to see his back receding around the cars and into the tree line, she noticed the small crowd had gathered. Sadie broke from the people and went to the car. She saved Mira a trip towards the angry glaring mob and picked her up from where she stood on the driveway.

  “Let’s get you home.”

  *****

  Owen walked around the side of the house. He thought his “don’t fuck with me” vibe had been strong but apparently not strong enough. A man came out of the back doors and headed over to him. Owen stopped his tirade to look him over. A stranger was not a good thing to introduce to his wolf right now. He was so close to snapping already, another element might do the trick. He was shorter than Owen, not as broad either. He limped when he walked, nothing severe but an old injury that he didn’t seem to notice anymore. The look on his face was passive. It was one he had seen on Tyson’s face time and again, as he worked a job.

  “Alpha,” the man said in greeting. “I’m Miles from the Susquehanna Pack.”

  Right, the enforcer. Now is not the fucking time for this.

  “Usually I’d greet you and play host but I can’t at the moment.” His voice was under a fierce control; Miles raised an eyebrow at him. Apparently, this was not what he was expecting. Well, Mira showing up out of the blue and running away was not how he had seen his fucking day going either. “The Canidae are downstairs. Ask Lylia to show you. Feel free to do what you need to. I’ll be back later to answer any questions.” At that Owen walked away.

  Mira had showed up at his door at the same time Lee tried to see if there something between them still. How was that for fucking luck? He had scared off his Rabbit. She literally ran from him, which brought out every instinct to chase her. His wolf had thought victory when he had caught her soft curves in his hands but he had been wrong. He wasn’t done talking with her. It may have looked that way but he wanted to talk it through without an audience. So he let her go thinking she had won. Sadie would be taking her home and that was exactly where he was headed.

  Mira was standing by her jeep when he arrived. Tyson had her keys and Sadie was yelling and pointing at her and then the house. Owen grinned. They weren’t letting her leave. He had no idea why, but it was to his advantage. Tyson sensed him first. His friend turned his head and looked right at him. Oh, he wasn’t happy. In fact, he was furious.

  “Get in the house, Mira.” Sadie said tiredly. “You are in no condition to drive.”

  Rabbit turned her head from them and that’s when he saw her puffy eyes and wet streaks on her cheeks. She looked devastated and that was all his fault. The bottom had dropped out and the weight of what he did pulled him under. Owen was the biggest fuckup in the world. There was no way of knowing she had been coming to see him but he didn’t need to take that kiss further. Truth be told, he had been curious what was left between Lee and himself, too. The knowledge wasn’t worth it. Seeing Mira finally break wasn’t worth it.

  He caught Tyson looking at him again. “Yeah, that’s all because of you motherfucker,” the look seemed to say.

  Owen needed to hold her, touch her at the very least. He needed to make this right.

  “No.” Sadie said when she spotted him walking up. She put her hand out and stepped in his path. “Absolutely not. You march your butt right back to where it came from.”

  Mira wiped viciously at her eyes trying to hide what was tearing him apart inside. He ignored Sadie, sidestepping her and went to Mira. Owen brushed the tears from her face and pulled her into his chest. She relented, wrapping her arms around him and then sobbed. With each wracking breath she took, his heart just about burst. Dammit. He had hurt her more than he had realized. Owen had royally screwed up. How was he supposed to know Lee was going to kiss him! He hadn’t asked for it. She just did it. But it was over between them. The kiss confirmed it. His heart was battling between guilt and anger. It wasn’t his fault, but yet, it was entirely his fault.

  “Leave them be, Babe,” Tyson said softly to Sadie as he pulled her inside.

  Owen mouthed a thank you to him and held Mira closer. She had stopped crying but her hands still fisted in his shirt not wanting to let go. He didn’t want her to let go either. He wanted her to hold on for eternity. But they had to, they needed to talk.

  “Rabbit, I’d like to continue our conversation.”

  She shook her head against his chest. “Nothing more to say.”

  Her body contradicted her words. He waited for her to release her hold on him but she didn’t. It gave him hope that she wasn’t as done as she had said.

  “I’d like to go over your reasoning for not continuing this thing between us. You said something about long distance relationships not being a favorite of yours. Have you had one in the past?”

  Mira stayed silent, the argument in her head was almost loud enough for him to hear. With a sigh, she unclenched her t-shirt filled hands and stepped out of his arms. “No, but I’d always be wondering if you were filling your nights with someone else while I was a few hours away. The jealousy would eat me alive and we wouldn’t be happy.”

  Fuck. He had done that. He had lost her trust. No one to blame for that one. Her Ex had cheated on her and from where she sat; it looked like he had too.

  “I would never cheat on you Mira.” When she raised a questioning eyebrow he added, “we aren’t dating right now. Besides, I already explained that the kiss meant nothing to eithe
r of us. It was an experiment on Lee’s end to see if something was still there. It wasn’t.” How many more ways could he say it?

  She nodded like she understood but Mira still held herself closed off to him. “Ok what about the fact that we are different, like in our physical make up different. How are we supposed to get over that?”

  That was a concern. Not for him though, but for some in his pack. They wouldn’t like their alpha mating with someone that would take away their chance at another dominant wolf pup. But he was the Alpha, so they could just get over it.

  “What is there to get over? I’m physically and emotionally attracted to you and I know you feel the same about me. That is all the compatibility we need.”

  She shook her head. “Yeah and in 50 years when I am old and wrinkly and you only look fifteen years older than you are today, how about then? How will you feel to watch me die when you are only halfway through your life?”

  He took a deep shaky breath. “Who told you that?”

  “Sadie. She was explaining what had changed in her. The life span thing caught my attention.”

  “I’d say that it wouldn’t matter to me, our age difference, but you wouldn’t believe me.”

  “No, I wouldn’t,” she said honestly.

  “So this is truly is what you want?”

  This time she didn’t look away from him. Mira nodded slowly.

  He cupped her face with his hand and let his eyes roam over her features. Owen’s wolf raged inside. He howled long and slow, sorrow tingeing the sound. He had to respect her wishes. He wished he could do something to change her mind but she had valid points. This was arguably for the best. They should have ended it before it had begun. He knew she was right to do this.

  But it still felt like his heart was being crushed.

  He’d see her again, there was no doubt in his mind but she’d never be his like she was in this moment. “I could have loved you,” he said in complete honesty. He let his hand drop away, breaking the connection between them. Owen turned from her watering eyes and left. He knew there were tears on her cheeks and that her heart was breaking right along with his. But this was what she wanted. So he would honor that choice.

  He walked until he could no longer hear her. The door had squeaked open and closed with a slam. Sadie had gone to her. That was good. She needed someone. Hell, he needed someone, he needed her.

  “I could have loved you,” he said once more, this time to himself. “Oh but Rabbit, I already do.”

  Chapter Twenty One

  Three weeks later.

  “What’s wrong now?” Zach asked annoyed.

  “Nothing.” Everything. It was probably easier to count the things that were right than the things that were wrong. Mira’s life was on a deep spiral downward and the momentum was going to kill her.

  He tsked in her ear and then swung and sliced the head off of a zombie. “That’s a lie.”

  It was. Mira had been in a serious funk for weeks. She ate too much, watched too much TV, didn’t go out, didn’t socialize beyond the random game with Zach and phone call with Sadie. Mira had become a hermit. She felt uncomfortable in her own skin, which wasn’t like her at all. She had always loved her body but lately she didn’t like the person looking back at her in the mirror.

  “Come on, you can tell me.”

  She sighed. She could tell him. He was relatively good with any subject, even the super female ones like menstruation and cramps. “I feel…large.” Just saying it felt awkward. Mira had always had a good handful of curves but lately she felt those curves were just fat. She was short, fat and lonely. Life pretty much sucked.

  “As in, ‘this truck makes wide right turns’ large?”

  It was sad just how spot on that was. “Yes but I’d smack you if I could for saying that.” Her player was overrun with zombies and she went down, not that she cared.

  “He’s not doing well either. Hey! Name calling is not nice. I know you said you didn’t want to know but I thought it might help.” The sounds of his controller clicked away as he ran through the back streets to the infestation site. “You are both suffering, which is just stupid. You obviously love him and he is in deep with you so why not be together?”

  “I am not in love with him.” Infatuation, yes. Love…possibly.

  “Yeah ok,” he said unbelievingly. “You know what we need?”

  “Booze?” she answered only half joking.

  “Exactly.”

  She thought about it and shrugged. It was Saturday night and she had nothing else to do. “Sure, why not. I’ll go see what I can find.”

  Mira went downstairs and opened the liquor cabinet. It was looking a little sparse but she found half a bottle of shitty vodka and considered herself lucky. In the fridge she found orange juice and decided she could pull of a screwdriver. With her arms full of supplies, Mira went back to her room and locked the door. Her mom did not need to see the shit show that was about to commence.

  “I’m back,” she said into the headset.

  “Excellent. What’s your poison?” He was taking down a horde and she was impressed with his knife skills.

  “Something that resembles a screwdriver and pop tarts.”

  “So a balanced breakfast. Nice. I’ve got my trusty bottle of tequila so let’s do this. Every ten zombies killed the other has to drink.”

  She snorted a laugh. She was so screwed.

  “Zach. Zaaak. Sap. Wait. No. That’s not right. Is it? Whoa! I just died again.” Mira was drunk. Very, very drunk. Two hours had passed and the bottle was almost empty. Empty pop tart wrappers littered the floor around her. She had long since abandoned the orange juice and was just sipping the vodka from the bottle instead.

  “I have an idea.” Mira was having some great ideas, Zach found them entertaining but told her that she should probably hold off on them until she was sober. This one though, this was a keeper and needed to happen now.

  “Another one? Geez girl you need to…fucking cum guzzler! You gonna help me or just stand there with your head up your ass? God, this team sucks and you’re not being any help either Miss Drunk Ass.”

  Mira laughed and patted around the floor until she found her phone. “You were-hic right earlier. I am in lubs with Owen. Or at least, I think-hic I am. I try not to think about it. Fuck-k. I have the hic-cups.” She hated hiccups. Seriously, it was the worst thing about drinking. Mira swiped around her phone opening programs she didn’t mean to open until she found her contacts list.

  “Owen,” swipe, “Owen,” swipe, “Ow…there you are.”

  “What are you doing? Please don’t tell me you are doing what I think you are doing.” Zach paused the game. This must be serious.

  “I am hic-calling Owen.”

  “Mira, Doll, that is a bad fucking idea.”

  “Nope. Great idea.” The line rang.

  And rang.

  And rang.

  And went to voicemail. She was disappointed but her idea wasn’t ruined just yet. His deep rumble of a voice came into her ear asking her to leave a message. She swayed with longing for him. Part of her wanted to call back just to hear the message again. But then there was a beep and so she got to talking.

  “Owen, it’s me. Uh, Mira. The one you like to refer to as Rabbit-hic. Fuck. I hate hiccups. Sorry. What was I saying? Oh! Right, I called to tell you that I love you. Yep. Love. L.O.B.E. It’s quite serious actually. I’m dying here and it’s because I told you I wanted you to go away but I didn’t actually want that. I lied. Sorry. I hate lying. But I also hate being cheated on and I know that you didn’t actually cheat on me but it felt like it be-hic-cause of how much I lurve you. God, it feels so good to say this. I’m miserable. Like for reals miserable.”

  “Jesus,” Zach said in her ear. “You should probably hang up now.”

  “What? No. I’m not done. Zach says I should hang up. He says hi by the way.”

  “No I don’t.”

  “Yes, you do. Where was I? Oh-” The messaged b
eeped. She had run out of time. “Guess I’m done.”

  “Thank god. Do not call me in the morning and blame me for not stopping you. This catastrophe was all you.”

  Mira thought that was funny. She wasn’t going to regret that message. How could she? It was gold. Pure gold. A yawn over took her and felt like years before she was done. Zach had resumed the game and was kicking zombie butt while her character was stuck in a corner somewhere. At some point she had laid down. The floor felt fantastic. She cradled her head in her arm and let her eyes drift closed. Tomorrow would be a good day with new beginnings and no regrets.

  *****

  “You’ve got everything here?” Owen asked Lee while mentally double checking everything.

  “Yep. Go show the kids how to hunt as a pack. We’ll be fine.”

  He had given her control of everything for the next few hours while he went out and hunted things. He was looking forward to this night for a while. Owen and Vince were going to take the new wolves out for a run and show them a few things. Getting out of his office, the box he had created for himself, was going to be refreshing. He didn’t need to sit there all day every day, but he did anyway. He felt stagnant. There was no one direction for him to head, only hundreds. But the one he want to follow is the one he burned the bridge to. So until he figured out came next he would sit in that box.

  Self-inflicted punishments sucked.

  It had been three weeks since he had last seen Mira and the pain was still new and raw. Sadie and Tyson didn’t talk to him for a week after she left until he ordered them over and explained himself. But it was already too late. The damage with Mira was done and nothing Tyson or Sadie said to her made any difference. He had fucked up something potentially wonderful. Her reasons had all been bullshit, Owen knew that it was the kiss that had sent her running, not the distance or the wolf thing. Lee had felt horrible about it but he couldn’t blame her, he had kissed her back after all.

  So tonight was all about stretching his legs and taking down a deer. It was not about Mira or him or Lee for that matter.