The Helio Trilogy: Volumes 1-3

by Valerie Roeseler

  It’s different with Gabriel and Raphael. With them, their superiority is exhibited through their wisdom, not their actions. They speak to me as an equal, even when I disappoint them. They encourage me to do and be better. Unlike Michael, I can see their appreciation and pride for my accomplishments.

  My relationship with Camael is complicated. Upon meeting him, I thought we were destined to butt heads. I’ve learned this isn’t the case. The reality is that being the Angel of War, he mentors with tough love. It makes me doubt he ever truly questioned my ability to lead The Gray Legion. Jack’s father and I have come to respect each other. I can’t say the same for Michael and me.

  I am most appreciative of my father, Azrael. Being the daughter of the Angel of Death is far less daunting than one would think. I understand why he placed me with the orphanage in Los Angeles, and I’m grateful I was adopted as an infant. I couldn’t believe how much he affected my life from afar, watching from the shadows. I don’t know how things would have turned out for me had he not. Now, I relish our time together and the growing closeness of the relationship we had been deprived of.

  Thoughts of my adoptive parents render more flashes of people I’ve lost and those killed by my own hands. Before I allow it to eat away what strength I have left, I shove it in a proverbial box, lock it tight, and toss it into the deepest recess of my mind, beyond my empathic wall, beyond reach, never to be opened. A weight lifts from my chest. Breathing becomes easier. I finish my run at dusk with a smile and a new sense of determination.

  I can do this.

  Approaching the manor’s kitchen entrance, sweet and spicy aromas float through the air. I walk inside to Jack prepping ingredients at the countertop, his back to me. The knife in his hand slaps against a wooden cutting board as it slices through raw carrots with the speed of a clock ticking in triple time. My happy mood melts into something unexpected. Whether it’s the lack of sleep, the roll of the massive muscles in his back and shoulders, or the pressing anxiety of losing him, my body shivers once from head to toe with desire and lust.

  He senses me behind him, “You should get some sleep. You’re going to need it before we leave tomorrow.” He swipes the carrots into a pot of boiling water on the glass stovetop, then faces me, leaning back on the counter with his hands.

  “I could say the same for you,” I counter as I drift to the island bar separating us. I stare into his unreadable gaze. The moment stretches between us, full of unspoken promises and silent longing.

  I open my mouth to speak, but he changes the subject before I can begin, “Are you ready to go back in the morning?”

  I’m instantly drenched in sobering reality. I admit, “I don’t think any of us are ready. I miss this house. I miss school. I miss music. I miss my car. I miss…simplicity.”

  Jack spins away, continuing his endeavor for a great meal we can all enjoy as the family we’ve become. “I have a feeling you will be searching for simplicity for a very long time. An immortal life is complicated. It doesn’t get easier, only the circumstances change.”

  His words trigger a memory, in what feels like another lifetime, when I’d believed Jack was nothing more than a womanizing local superstar; an egotistical jackass. I had pushed him away with defensive and snarky comebacks while internally fearing the eventual heartache of betrayal. I knew it was unfair to compare him to Gideon, but I was still holding resentment from him breaking my heart. Jack had penetrated my rough exterior and guided me through my unnatural transformation. His interest in me only grew, as well as my interest in him. We had resisted it for so long, our feelings for each other exploded like a volcano.

  When Beleth kidnapped and took me to The Keep for the first time, I slowly began losing myself. Then Jack died trying to save me. My heart broke like I knew it would. I lost all that I was and became a shell. Jack returned unexpectedly to find the completely different being I’d become in his absence. We’ve struggled with our relationship since.

  Now that we know the reason for my creation and my purpose, Jack couldn’t be more correct. I will never know the simplicities of life again. My life will always be complicated. Even if or when the Horsemen are defeated, there will still be Darkness. There will be new situations with different problems. I wonder what my role in the world will be then if I have one at all.

  I smile uneasily at Jack’s back, then turn away, “You’re probably right.”

  He waits until I’m on the first flight of stairs to call after me, “Can I get that in writing?”

  My smile widens. Continuing to my room, I holler over my shoulder, “Not in your wildest dreams.”

  A short hot shower later, I’m sprawled on my bed, intent on a small nap before dinner. Sleep immediately seizes me.

  Dense fog licks my bare legs as it flourishes from the dead grass beneath my feet. It flows over my tingling skin like a warm cloud of dragon’s breath. Mellifluous whispers engulf me, creating an enigmatic song. A sense of atavistic nature befalls my surroundings as the voice of many become one, “There is Darkness in the spider.”

  The fingers of my right hand twitch. I seek within, Am I the spider?

  The voice reverberates, clearing the haze, “No.”

  A child’s laughter chimes in the distance. The fog divides over the lifeless grass, imparting vitality in its wake. I trace the path presented to me. A little girl waits beyond the tunnel of clouds. Tentatively drifting through the tunnel, I note the inexplicable appearance of boots on my feet and the dark attire protecting me from vulnerability. The girl’s features become more distinct with our proximity. I descend to my knees before her, a captivating fondness guiding me. Her long, black hair frames her small face in straight panes, blunt bangs hiding her eyes.

  The tips of my fingers brush her locks gently away from her face. The sight of the color in her eyes causes my heart to stop. My hands fall to her cheeks as I examine them closer. I entice with a honeyed whisper, “What is your name?”

  She hesitates, reviewing my own features. Her tiny, sweet voice utters, “I don’t have one.”

  A war horn thunders in a deep tritone, forcing the two of us to cover our ears. I squeeze my eyes shut until it ends. When I open them again, I’m kneeling on The Common of The Keep facing the open vaulted entrance.

  Motionless bodies of grotesquely deformed and marred Griffin sentries litter The Common. The eerie silence is cut by multiple sets of boots marching through the corridor within The Keep. I pop to my feet, my wings exploding from their suppressed state, and charge after them. My vision is consumed by a bright light.

  “Time for dinner, sleepy head!” Alice chirps, approaching my bed after flipping on the overhead light.

  My eyes flick open. My heart is pounding in my chest, consumed with anger, liability, resentment, and urgent trepidation. I stare at Alice, frozen in deep consideration of the dream I had. It was different this time. Part of it held a simulation of an omen while the ending paralleled with the previous vision I had of war upon The Keep.

  Alice stops in surprise. “I… I’ll just wait downstairs.” She turns away.

  I feel my Darkness on the surface and quickly draw it back. I raise a hand as if to stop her from leaving. “No! I’m sorry.”

  She spins around with a wince in her countenance, “You ok?”

  I slide from the bed, “Yeah. Just a bad dream.”

  She seems unsure but accepts my excuse. I follow her down the steps. The aromas of food from the kitchen help me shake the dream from my mind.

  We enter the room bustling with everyone assisting Jack to set the table. He gives me a crooked grin. “Mother was the one who always set the table. I thought we could work together to remember what goes where.”

  I snicker. Alice mumbles in my ear, “He refused to let me do it.”

  The dinner is uplifting, allowing us to pretend like everything is alright. We don’t acknowledge the possible end of the world, the end of humanity, the end of me. We don’t pause to dwell on a strategy to counter the apoc
alypse. We ignore everything outside of the manor and relish in the friendships that have formed us into the family we are now.

  As we eat, I fantasize what it would be like if we were just normal people. Would we continue to laugh and fight and grow together? Would we throw parties for each other, celebrating future life events? Would we get to watch each other get married, have children, struggle and overcome obstacles?

  That isn’t our reality.

  We are immortal beings. Our lives are complicated. But we’re family and always will be. We encourage and uplift. We forgive and forget. We love and fight and bicker and confide. Together, we are a fortress of unrivaled power.

  Alone?

  We are never alone.

  We will always be there for each other. Nothing can tear us apart or tear us down.

  We are a team.

  We are family.

  Solas raises his glass of red wine, “I think Ivy needs to make a toast.”

  The others raise their glasses. I blush with an embarrassed grin, sending a playful thought to him, Jerk. Stay out of my head.

  He ignores me, “Let’s have it then!”

  I hold my glass towards theirs and clear my throat. “To family. May nothing stand between us or take us from each other because those that try will slam into a mountain of unwavering and unparalleled love and power.”

  The table echoes, “To family!”

  Chapter 17

  My father is waiting for us on The Common when we arrive at The Keep. Solas wonders if there’s a reason we’re not greeted by the other Originals as well. I think they’re still pissed off at me, I tell him.

  He replies, “They’ll get over it.”

  I hope so. I’m tired of being in the dog house.

  I close my wings as I land and meet my father’s open arms. I anticipate, “Am I still in trouble?”

  Releasing me from his embrace, Azrael’s violet eyes twinkle with his small smile. “Oh, yes. I imagine your training will be more severe.”

  I roll my eyes, “Great.”

  Jack encourages me as he passes, “Come on, Sunshine. You know they don’t have anything you can’t handle.” While I want to be proud of myself that he believes in me, I fear I may disappoint him.

  It’s mid-day, and we are starving from flying straight to The Keep without stopping. It drains our energy quickly. My father agrees to let the other Originals know that we have arrived while we get settled back in and find sustenance for ourselves.

  My bedchamber is exactly as I had left it. There’s a chill in the air, though, so I light a fire to warm the room while I find something to eat. The kitchen is crowded with everyone reaching over each other, squeezing past, and attempting to cook their own meals. I crouch beneath Eric’s arm in the refrigerator. “Excuse me,” I sing, grabbing a handful of fresh strawberries and a container of plain yogurt. Instead of struggling for a spot at the table to eat, I make for the new café Jack built down the hall.

  I set my food down at a table and make a cup of coffee while I’m at it. Solas joins me, plopping down in a chair where I sat my brunch, “It’s too crowded in there.”

  I agree, taking my coffee to the table to join him, “Exactly why I came in here.”

  He apologizes, “I’m sorry. You probably want to be alone.”

  He motions to get up, but I stop him, “It’s fine!”

  An uncomfortable silence falls over us as we begin to eat. I prompt an easy conversation, “Don’t you miss Red Meadow already?”

  “A little. I didn’t have the opportunity to acclimate and enjoy it as the others have. The Keep has been my home for too long. Not as long as the Griffins, though.”

  I wonder, “How long have they been here?”

  Regarding the rocky face of the ceiling, he calculates as his mouth moves silently. He shrugs a shoulder, “At least a handful of centuries after The Fall of the Griffins.”

  It’s hard for me to fathom that amount of time. I admit with dismay, “Cass told me about that. It’s so shitty. I hate this whole hierarchy system.”

  His hand snaps over my mouth. I observe the surprise in his eyes. He whispers, “I know you feel that way, but don’t let them hear you say that.”

  I roll my eyes with a snort, pulling his hand away. “What are they going to do? Kill me? They can’t. They need me too much.”

  He utters harshly, “Death is not the worst that can happen.”

  It seems Solas is speaking from experience. I hesitate to ask, “What is?”

  There’s something in his expression that I’ve seen before. I don’t need to use my empathic ability to read what it is. I am a perpetual victim of it myself; sorrow. After a frozen moment, he speaks to me through thought, “Did Cassius ever tell you about Theodora?” I shake my head. “The Originals took someone very important to her.”

  My brows climb my forehead. Who?

  “Their mother, Anastasia.”

  Why?

  “For protecting them.”

  I want to ask my father about it, but I know this isn’t his nor Solas’ story to tell. I leave the subject alone.

  When I’m finished with my food and coffee, Solas poses, “Can we go somewhere and talk?”

  My stomach flips. I swallow hard and nod briskly. He leads me up the corridor to his own chambers. The door closes behind me, and he places a ward on it to preserve our clandestine conversation. I search his expression, “What’s this about?”

  He takes both of my hands, looking steadily into my eyes. “I need you to be extremely diligent about keeping the ward I gave you a secret. If Camael asks, tell him I wasn’t able to do it.”

  “You seriously think I can lie to him effectively?”

  “I do.”

  “What if they ask if Cora has been pulling me into her dreams again?”

  “Lie. Tell them you haven’t had contact since we found the necklace.”

  “And how did we find it?”

  “Just as Tallulah had; on a sorority girl.”

  I huff, “They’re not going to believe that.”

  Solas shrugs, “So? Who’s going to tell them differently?” I sigh with surrender. His hand comes to my cheek, “Any more visions?”

  His question spikes an image from my dream to appear. Before I can will it away, Solas stops breathing. I step away. I don’t know what to expect. I reason with him, “It was just a dream.”

  “But she…”

  I fight back any emotion that will tell him I believe otherwise and block him from my mind. “I know.”

  Suddenly, Solas becomes disparaged. His feet swish against the ground as he travels to a chair in the corner of his room and lightly takes a seat. His eyes are unseeing, never meeting my gaze. His body slouches into the chair, face to the ground at his feet.

  I kneel in front of him and place my hands on his thighs. “It could mean anything. It was just a dream.”

  He nods absent-mindedly. With no other words to reassure him, I leave the room. Just as I step into the corridor, I’m hit with the sense of being watched. I search around, finding nothing of a threat but the prickling of my skin.

  Passing the Throne Room, Michael calls me inside. He’s not alone. Camael, Gabriel, and Raphael are with him. I solicit, “Where’s my father?”

  Camael answers, “He had business to attend. He will return as soon as he’s able.”

  My heart sinks that he didn’t tell me ‘goodbye.’

  Michael clears his throat for my attention. I remain impassive as I regard him. He insists, “It is evident your training has been too lenient. There will be no more tolerance for your inept abilities. You will either do or suffer.”

  Suffer?

  “Do you understand?”

  I force my Darkness at bay. “No. I don’t understand what I did wrong.”

  His green eyes darken as his voice booms, shaking the columns within the grand hall, “You let him go!”

  My hands squeeze into fists. I sense Solas, Jack, Evelyn, Eric, and Alice burst through
the open doors. My sight never leaves Michael. He is a sight to behold. His grand white wings almost fill the width of the room, and his veins are expanded through his arms, neck, and face. I’m not a coward. I stand my ground with a cool temperament, “He was gone before we arrived. I don’t know why you are so upset about it. Mephistopheles will come to us here. It was foretold in my vision.”

  “Yet you do nothing to change it!”

  I throw my hands up, cocking my hip out, then letting them slap my thighs, “Damn.” I snap the fingers of my right hand across my body with heavy sarcasm, “You got me there!”

  My back slams into the wall beside the entrance. The wall shatters around me as Michael’s hand becomes a vice around my throat. I choke with my body being held off the ground. Everyone attempts to come to my aid but are stopped by an invisible wall. Jack and Solas bounce off it with their attempt. They continue to charge the ward that Michael must have placed to keep everyone at bay. Michael growls in my face, “Do not test me, child. I will break you like you have never been broken before.”

  Camael steps closer to the invisible ward holding them back and barks, “Michael! Release her!”

  Michael ignores him. “Save yourself the torture. Yield.”

  “Get your hands off her!” Jack shouts before slamming his body against the ward.

  Michael’s scowl bores into me, waiting for an answer. I have never trusted Michael. He’s the only one of the Originals I don’t believe has The Gray Legion’s best interest at heart—if he has a heart, it’s a glacial mountain. Why have the other Originals trusted him for eons? Would Evelyn be honest and tell me the truth if I asked her why she trusts him too? Michael once claimed he treated Jack as his own son in Camael’s absence. I have yet to witness it. I make a note to talk to Jack as soon as I’m able.

  Michael pulls me from the wall to slam me back again. Rock explodes from the impact and my vision wavers, blood filling my mouth. He bellows, “Answer me!”