Breaking Faith (The JackholeS Book 1)

by Joy Eileen

  The crowd begged for more, and Kill laughed at them, telling them they would be back tomorrow.

  “The Note's a big deal; a lot of bands have played there. With you up onstage, they're basically stating you're a part of the band,” Denise answered.

  “I’m not part of their band….” I said, trying to think of how to describe me. “I just make cameos.”

  “You're in denial,” Ryan laughed, mopping down the bar top.

  Denise patted my shoulder as I stared at Ryan, trying to think of a good comeback.

  “You're more to that band than either of you are willing to admit. Let it progress naturally and go with it. You deserve happiness. And you do too," Denise said, giving Jessie a stern look. “You need to let that poor boy in, Jessie, before I lock you two in a closet.”

  I felt better now that I was off the hook, as another person got lectured. Amy came out from the middle of the crowd. Her face sweaty from bouncing around supporting her man. I walked over to her as she took Jet’s empty seat.

  “Hey chickie, do you need anything?” I asked, as she rummaged through her purse for a bag of cinnamon bears.

  “Water,” she panted, as she popped a bear into her mouth. I nodded, nabbing one of the spicy candies. I brought her water to her as the boys ended their set and made their way back to the table.

  My section was rapidly filling up with sweaty fans. I took their orders as they tried to squeeze in their drinks before last call. Ryan got everything together as we threw our orders at her. I had to wade through the fans surrounding the boys to deliver their drinks. Of course, they were all gorgeous females vying for their attention.

  I was proud of myself for not hurting the ones openly staring at Kill. We made eye contact, and I could tell he hadn’t forgotten about finishing our earlier conversation.

  The bar died down, and I couldn’t help the happiness I felt when the girls around the table thinned from the rejections they received. I wouldn't ever get used to having Kill surrounded by gorgeous women. For that reason alone, I would never be able to give him the chance he wanted. I was done making stupid decisions when it came to men.

  I lingered at my locker after the bar was shut down, preparing myself for my inevitable showdown with Kill. Sure enough, he stood at the end of the hall when I came walking out. He pushed off the wall, determination on his face.

  “Ready?” he asked, putting his arm around my shoulder, not allowing me to respond.

  In the car, Kill took my hand, nestling it in his larger one and rested it on my thigh as he spoke.

  “Listen. I don’t know what the hell D’s problem is lately. I have a feeling, and fuck, I hope it isn’t what I think, but I didn’t do anything with anyone at The Note. I haven’t done anything with anyone since I met you.” His voice was laced with sincerity.

  “But you should,” I responded, swallowing the bile caused by that sentence. “You're waiting for me. What if I'm never ready to trust another guy? You're gorgeous, and you shouldn’t have to deny yourself anything while you wait for something that may not happen. I don’t want you to resent me while you turn down girl after willing girl. I've seen them draped over your table, and I know I can’t compare to them anyway.”

  “Look at me.”

  I shook my head, refusing to give in. He let go of my hand and put it on my chin, turning me around so I was facing him with my eyes closed.

  “Open your eyes or I'll lick you,” he threatened, and I could feel him moving closer to me.

  When I opened my eyes, his tongue stuck out and he crept in closer.

  “I'm not denying myself anything. I've done those girls. I was trying to find something in them and they were willing to let me, even though I knew it was a hopeless cause. You're different, and I feel like when we finally do try, I won’t be searching any longer. You're right in saying you don’t compare to those girls, because you're so out of their league it's ridiculous to see them try.”

  My heart beat so hard, I was afraid my sternum would become dislodged from the force of it. I let everything he just told me sink in. The thought crossed my mind that maybe he was too perfect, and Jessie may be on to something. I was confused, not knowing if I could trust my decisions, afraid Jason had permanently ruined me.

  “Are you hungry?” he asked, switching the subject.

  “I could eat, where to?”

  We decided on the all night diner where we had our banana split. It occurred to me he never explained what he was insinuating with D, and it made me curious.

  “What do you think is going on with D?” I blurted out when we finished our food.

  The smile left his face right before the tick in his jaw started. “It’s nothing. Are you ready to go?” he asked, throwing some cash on the table, putting an end to our conversation.

  As we drove home, I tried it again. “Are you going to tell me, or am I going to have to torture it out of you?”

  “I think I'm going to go with the torture option. It sounds interesting and kinky."

  “Come on. You can’t just say something like that and not expect me to ask you what the hell you're talking about.”

  “Can’t you just let this one go?”

  “No,” I answered, and his jaw clenched so tight his dimple stayed on his cheek longer than a flicker.

  “I think D has a thing for you,” he finally responded, not unclenching his jaw as he spoke, making the words come out harsh.

  I laughed at him and rolled my eyes. “D does not have a thing for me, we're just friends,” I said, wondering how someone so smart could be so dumb.

  “Friends like us?” Kill asked.

  “No…. we're different, and you know that. D has never done anything to make me think he wants something more than my friendship. I think you're way off on this one,” I responded primly.

  I touched his cheek, hoping to alleviate the tension. He sighed loudly, looking at me through tired eyes.

  “Like I said, I hope I'm wrong, but I've known D for a long time, and he's never been vicious toward me, or anyone, for that matter. It seems every time you're the subject, he has to throw in a jab. It’s not like him, and the only thing I can think of is he has a thing for you.” He entangled our hands, letting them rest in between us.

  “Are you sure you haven’t done something to piss him off? Maybe you messed around with a girl he was hot for, and he's just pissed at you,” I tried to reason with him.

  Kill gave me his half-smile and squeezed my hand. “Maybe that’s what it is,” he responded, with no conviction in his voice.

  “Are you ready to see if we procrastinated long enough?” he asked, his smile still on his face. He tried to look like he wasn’t bothered by our conversation. “Come on, let’s get you to bed.”

  He let go of my hand and jumped out of the car as I reached to get my stuff. Kill opened my door and helped me out. I hoped we wasted enough time, because the thought of cuddling up with Kill sounded like heaven. When we walked in, the T.V. in the living room was on, causing my heart to plummet.

  Chapter 26

  D was on the couch with his feet propped up on the table. His forehead furrowed when he saw us. “Where have you two been?”

  “Kill took me to eat. I was too keyed up to come home right away,” I answered, since Kill’s jaw seemed to be locked shut.

  “Where did you guys go?” D asked, seemingly oblivious to Kill’s mood.

  “We went to the diner by the bar,” I answered, and my body was racked with another vicious yawn.

  “Looks like the adrenaline's wearing off. You look like you're about to fall asleep on your feet,” D said.

  Kill put his arm around my shoulders. There was something in D's eyes that kept me from melting into Kill like I wanted. “Come on, Slick, let’s get you to bed.”

  Kill pulled me in tighter since I wasn’t doing it on my own. D studied us, and I had a feeling if I didn’t get them away from each other soon, Kill was going to pee on me to mark his territory.

 
“Come on, Killer. I'm exhausted, and I need to get these shoes off. Night D, see you tomorrow.”

  I nudged Kill with my shoulder as he walked us toward the stairs.

  “Night D, see you later,” Kill said in a forced tone.

  “Night Faith, have a good night's sleep. You did amazing tonight,” D said as we made our way up to my room. “Hey Kill, can you come down here? I want to ask you something.”

  Kill stopped, his body tensed.

  “Go talk to him. I'll get ready for bed and get it nice and warm for you,” I said quietly as I shrugged out from under his arm.

  Nodding my head toward the living room, I gave him a pointed look before going to my room without him. I pried my shoes off of my feet and put them away, getting my jammies and going to the bathroom.

  I tried to listen to music, but my body was too hyper to settle down. The whole interaction downstairs had me keyed up. I switched on the T.V.

  I examined all of my conversations with D to see if there was any evidence to support Kill's claim. He did seem to be more hostile toward Kill, but I wasn’t positive Kill hadn’t done something.

  I heard footsteps come upstairs. “Night D,” Kill said, before the footsteps continued down the hallway.

  I let my breath out slowly. Of course he couldn’t just walk in my room with D still up. I settled on a show where a massage therapist gave more than massages, trying to keep my mind from Kill and D.

  I was on the second episode when Kill walked in, shutting the door quietly behind him. His half-smile made my heart stutter before restarting and beating wildly.

  “Miss me?” he asked, sauntering over to his side of the bed and slipped under the blankets.

  “Nope, I was just thinking how nice it was to have the whole bed to myself without you hogging it,” I responded, curling into his side as soon as he was settled against the headboard.

  “How can you say that when you're basically on top of me the whole night? ” he threw back.

  I pulled away, so I could check if he was being serious, but his arms banded around me, holding me close.

  “I was kidding. I don’t think I could sleep without you wrapped around me, snoring in my ear.”

  I bit him lightly on the chest. “What did D want to talk about?”

  “He wanted talk about a song I've been working on. I honestly thought he was going to bring you up,” he explained, sighing as he ran his hand over my back.

  “I think you're seeing something that isn’t there. Maybe you aren’t completely used to this friend thing yet.”

  “What the hell are you watching?” he asked.

  I looked over at the screen just as the massage therapists hands slipped under her client's towel. I explained the premise of the show while my body heated.

  “What are you thinking?” Kill asked. His voice husky and I knew the risqué behavior on the T.V. was affecting him as well.

  “Nothing,” I replied quickly, not wanting to tell him what I was picturing doing to him.

  “Slick,” he commanded, trying to cajole the truth out of me.

  “I was thinking those girls are hot, and I need to start running more and maybe stop eating altogether.”

  “You're wrong,” he said, pulling me tighter. “They have nothing on you.”

  “Ok, I'm not blind, so don’t even try and pull that shit on me,” I said, sarcasm lacing my voice to disperse the desire his words caused.

  “Really, you have no idea how fucking sexy you are. Yeah, those girls are sexy, but look at the makeup they have coated on. I've seen you just out of bed with no makeup and you're gorgeous.”

  “You think I’m pretty?”

  He reached out tracing my face, running his finger gently down my cheek until it rested on my chin. “No,” he responded bluntly, and I furrowed my eyebrows, making him chuckle. “I think you're beautiful and sexy.”

  My heart stopped. He still caressed my face as he gazed into my eyes.

  “It upsets me that you don't believe me. Never be surprised people find you attractive inside and out. I hate him every day because he did that to you.”

  “I think you're beautiful, too.” I wanted to stuff the words back into my mouth as soon they left.

  He tried to look offended. “I'm manly sexy, but not beautiful. You're going to ruin my reputation if you keep throwing those words around.”

  “Manly sexy, that's almost as bad as crotchel area.”

  “Shut up, and watch T.V., besides, I still need to get you back for referencing my crotchel area tonight,” he said, sinking further into the bed getting comfortable.

  Soon, my eyes were heavy as Kill ran his hand up and down my back. When the episode ended, Kill turned off the T.V., blanketing the room in darkness.

  “Night Slick,” he said, kissing the top of my head.

  “Night Killer.”

  I barely got the words out before falling asleep, feeling protected and safe in his arms.

  The next morning I woke up alone. I shamelessly grabbed the pillow he slept on and inhaled deeply, wondering if I could bottle his scent and take it with me.

  Kill and I went for our run, taking our time just so we could prolong our time together. Near the end, I jumped on his back, letting him carry me into the house.

  The guys were on the couch, with Amy sitting on Jet’s lap. We were laughing so hard Kill could barely stand up. He leaned my back against the wall, squishing me in the process. I wiggled and tried to get down, but he locked my legs around him.

  “Let me down,” I ordered, trying to get my legs away from him.

  “Say the magic word.” I bit his neck, shocking him enough to get out of his grasp.

  “You're so dead,” he yelled as I took off running upstairs.

  When I heard him come after me, I let out a very girly scream. I tried to slam the door and lock it, but Kill was faster. I pushed my full weight against it, but he opened with ease. I couldn’t stop laughing long enough to come up with an exit strategy as I ran to the bed.

  “I’m sorry,” I said, but my hysterical laughing didn’t make it sound sincere.

  “Oh, you will be.” I ran toward the door but he jumped across the bed, catching me around the waist and pulling me down.

  “No. Please. Don’t. I’m sorry,” I begged, trying to get away from him, but I was so weak from laughing, even if he let go, I wouldn't get very far.

  I stopped laughing when I saw a red blotch marring his neck. Reaching out I touched the irritated skin. A primitive feeling rushed over me, seeing my mark on him. My body burned, while my vagina begged me to claim his whole body

  “I marked you,” I whispered, still running my finger over it.

  He walked over to the mirror. My passion dissipated as I worried over his reaction. I reached out and hesitantly touched his back.

  “I'm sorry. I didn’t realize I bit you so hard.” I cringed when he turned around, my body automatically waiting for punishment.

  Kill reached for me and pulled me to the floor. He straddled me to keep me still, which wasn’t hard because I was stunned. He licked his lips and focused on my neck.

  “What are you doing?” I asked in a breathless voice. My body tingled from his nearness.

  The look on his face made my inner thighs clench, and I could feel my nipples brushing against my sports bra. He bent down and licked my neck, causing my eyes to roll back in my head as I moaned.

  I tried to free my hands, wanting to run them over him, but he had them pinned to the floor. He sucked on the spot he had just licked and gently scraped his teeth over it as he slowly released it out of his mouth.

  I held back another moan, unsure what was happening, but afraid if I made any noise the moment would be over. He licked the same spot again and sucked the skin back in his mouth.

  My whole body was on fire, and I couldn’t stop myself from pressing every inch I could against him. He bit down on the skin he'd been teasing and the pain of his teeth pressing into the sensitive skin sent lightning bolt
s straight in between my legs, causing my hips to jerk up.

  When he pulled back, he had desire pulsing in his eyes, and his breath came out in harsh pants. The bulge I'd felt when I moved against him was evidence I wasn’t the only one wanting to throw our friendship out the window and rip our clothes off for a marathon sex session.

  A slow smile spread across his face. My brain was too hazy to figure out what was happening.

  “There, now we match,” he said, his voice filled with lust.

  I had to stop myself from wrapping my arms around him and pulling him back so he could lick, suck, or bite on whatever he wanted.

  “Match?” I asked, figuring if we got this talk over with, he would get back to what we were in the middle of.

  “Yep, look at your neck.” He got up and adjusted the bulge in his pants as I shamelessly stared at his hand moving the engorged muscle into a comfortable position.

  He chuckled, and my eyes darted up to his amused expression, knowing I'd been caught. Helping me up, he placed me in front of the mirror.

  “You marked me?”

  “Yep,” he answered, pulling me into his chest as I continued to stare at the newly formed hickey.

  “Why?”

  He shrugged his shoulders, his half-smile was in place, but his eyes were fierce with emotion.

  "Kill?" I whispered, watching our reflections in the mirror.

  "I've been resisting kissing you since the moment I saw you. I know you don't trust me completely, I can see it in your eyes, but you make me insane. I need you to figure it out soon, Faith. I don't have much restraint left." He kissed the top of my head and moved away from me. “Go take a shower. We want to practice before you go to work.”

  He left my room with his half-smile on his face. I shook my head, trying to clear the Kill-induced cobwebs. In the shower I begged the water to assist me in understanding what had just happened, while my vagina lectured my eyes to exude trust anytime Kill was around.

  After my unhelpful shower, I dressed and made my way downstairs. The boys were on the couch playing a video game. Amy, noticed my new accessory first.

  “What happened to your neck?” she asked, causing D to glance up at me, making me turn bright red at his scrutiny.