Other Side of the Wall

by Jennifer Peel

  “Ava, the man just traveled over a thousand miles to see you. You know he’ll never find anywhere to stay around here.”

  “Fine, then he can stay at Tucker’s.”

  “Ava, you know that’s not a good idea.”

  “Momma, whose side are you on here?”

  She gave me a squeeze and kissed me on the cheek. “All yours, baby girl.” Then she walked off without another word.

  I had no choice but to follow her back.

  My dad and Scott were chatting nicely while Tucker glared on. I went to take my seat again, and Scott got up and held my seat out for me.

  I had no choice but to be polite under the watchful eye of my southern momma. “Thank you,” I said.

  After a few more minutes of conversation, my momma smiled and looked toward the both of us. “Scott, I’m sure you’re tired after your day of travel. Ava will show you to the guest room.”

  I looked at her, and she gave me her, “don’t question me” look.

  Scott once again expressed his profound gratitude. Finally, my Daddy showed some loyalty, or maybe just fatherly love. “Scott, you’re more than welcome here, but just know, I’m a very light sleeper and I can see the guest house from our bedroom window.”

  Scott looked my daddy directly in the eye. “I would never do anything to tarnish Ava’s honor, sir.”

  Oh, my Daddy liked that. But it almost made me laugh. I almost wanted to say, “Daddy we lived next door to each other unchaperoned for months.” But honestly, I liked that my daddy still felt the need to protect me.

  My daddy offered to help Scott in with his luggage. I waited by the stairs for their return. I still couldn’t believe he was here and staying at my house. I was beyond flustered and, honestly, a tad ticked off. Hadn’t I asked him for weeks if he would come home with me and he blew me off?

  My daddy and Scott came back in heavy laden. Apparently Scott was planning on staying for a while. In addition to his luggage, he also had a couple of bags filled with wrapped Christmas gifts. My daddy took the Christmas bags and said he would place the gifts under our tree and bring up the suitcase he was carrying later. This was quickly turning very surreal for me.

  I looked at a smiling Scott. “Follow me,” I said with no enthusiasm whatsoever.

  We walked up the wooden staircase that had been carefully decorated with real pine boughs and holly. When we made it to the landing, I pointed to the large loft that was my Daddy’s man cave. “Feel free to watch T.V. or relax up here.” I also showed him where my parents’ room was. Their master suite took up a large portion of the southeastern part of the house. Then we walked down the hall to the guest bedroom. I showed him in and then shut the door.

  I wasn’t sure if that scared or excited him, but I didn’t want my momma to hear me be unkind. “Why are you here?”

  He set down his suitcases and moved toward me. I just shook my head no as if to say, “Take one step closer and you may get hurt.” I don’t know if he was more hurt or amused at my reaction, but whatever, he just needed to stay away.

  “You did invite me,” he responded.

  I tried to keep my voice down, but it was hard. “Yes, I did. And if I remember right, you declined and told me you wanted to see other people.”

  “I never declined.”

  “Semantics, Scott!”

  He smiled, which really made me mad.

  “And what’s all this baloney about you staying for as long as it takes. What does that even mean?”

  “You are so beautiful.”

  “Ugh!” I turned to walk out the door. He could figure out where everything else was on his own.

  He gently grabbed my hand. “Please don’t go yet. Just hear me out. ”

  I turned and looked at him and then down at our entwined hands. I had very conflicting emotions. I missed him with every fiber of my being, but I hated him.

  He reached up and tucked my hair behind my ear like he did from time to time. “Ava, I’ve missed you.”

  I let go of his hand and walked to the other side of the room near the window. Being that close to him was making me want to cross the playground. He walked toward me, but kept his distance. He stood next to me, near the window and looked out. The room boasted a nice view of our pool. During the day he would be able to see the ocean too, but it was a little too dark now. If we opened the window, you could hear it though. I loved that sound.

  Scott pointed out the window. “Is that the guest house where you’re staying?”

  “Yes. And the pool is heated, so you can swim if you would like to.” I could at least pretend to be a nice hostess.

  I also pointed to the gate that led to the beach and told him what the code was if he ever he decided to go out there. He smiled and thanked me and admired the beauty. It really was beautiful. The pool was surrounded by palm trees and plants and strategically placed lights. There was also a hot tub that was nicely steaming in the cool night air.

  He looked toward me again. “Ava.”

  Reluctantly, I turned toward him. We still stood a few feet apart.

  “I love you.”

  I was going to protest, but he moved closer and smiled and placed his fingers on my lips. “I know you don’t believe that. But I’ll be staying until you do.”

  I gave him a look of incredulity. He had a lot of nerve. “Well, you better settle in for a long winter’s nap then.” I stalked off and shut his door harder than I should have. I walked downstairs muttering to myself. “How dare he come here and tell me he loves me after everything he put me through.”

  My momma and daddy were at the kitchen table in deep discussion. They looked up at me when I walked in, and I just glared at them. How could they let him stay here? I was marching myself straight out the back door to my place, but my momma called out after me.

  “Ava Mae!”

  I thought for a second about not responding. I felt like I was nine again.

  “Ava Mae,” she said again.

  I just stood facing the door. “Yes, Momma?”

  “With our new guest, we will need to do some more shopping tomorrow. I expect you to come with me. Be ready by nine a.m. please.”

  “Yes, ma’am.”

  I think I heard my Daddy laugh.

  Men!

  I opened the door and walked briskly to the guest house. When I opened the door to my house, I felt like I was being watched. I turned up and sure enough, there was Scott at his window. He waved to me, and I ignored him. This was going to be an interesting Christmas.

  I knew my momma was going to make me buy Christmas gifts for him. Sure I get it, it would be terribly rude and uncomfortable on Christmas morning if he didn’t have anything to open, but seriously, he didn’t deserve it. Several weeks ago I had such big plans. I had wanted to make this the best Christmas ever for him. I was going to knock his socks off and show him how much I loved him and that I was the best girlfriend ever. But come to find out, he didn’t even consider me his girlfriend. As far as I was concerned now, he deserved coal.

  I sat on my couch and stewed. How did this ever become my life? I’m telling you, men really are icky, but unfortunately they’re also kind of nice. Scott, just had this way about him, at least when he wasn’t being a jerk that made me feel like everything was going to be ok. But I was conflicted, because I wondered what happened to Miss “I can’t change my own light bulb.” And what about Jenna?

  In the midst of my stewing, my phone rang. It was the only loyal family member I had left.

  “Hey, Tucker.”

  “Hey, sis, so here’s the plan. Cory and I will sneak in and hog tie him and take him out to old route…”

  I could barely speak through my laughter. “Tucker, I love you and I’m apt to let you, but you know what momma would do to you if you came in here and hog tied Scott? And I don’t even want to know what else you had planned to do to him.”

  “Come on, Ava, you didn’t let me do anything to Peter. How can I live up to being the best big brother
if I can’t hurt these idiots you keep bringing home?”

  “Hey, I didn’t bring this one home.” I paused for a moment. “Tucker, can I ask you something?”

  “Shoot.”

  “Do you think he loves me?”

  He didn’t say anything for a minute. “This doesn’t go any further than this conversation, but when we were leaving Chicago, I almost stopped the jeep and told you to get out and talk to the guy. I’ve never seen anyone look so torn up.”

  “Really?”

  “It’s the God awful truth, Ava Mae, but don’t get me wrong. I still hate the guy.”

  “Yeah, me too.”

  “Goodnight, Ava Mae. If you hear any screaming in the middle of night, just ignore it.”

  I started laughing again.

  “I love you, Tucker. You’re the best big brother ever.”

  “You know it.”

  Every girl needed a big brother like Tucker. We had so much fun growing up. Our house was always full of teenagers, and it didn’t hurt that Tucker had some very good looking friends. Tucker never let any of them date me, but he didn’t know that, on occasion, a few kisses were snuck here and there. I have a feeling he probably kissed a few of my girlfriends, too. Tucker was quite the popular guy, and all my friends were in love with him. I was so surprised he still wasn’t married. He was successful and attractive and lots of fun. That may have been his problem; I think he still enjoyed the fun too much, and many of his friends were still on the beach. Tucker was like two people almost: during business hours he was a no-nonsense kind of guy that could close any deal, but then when the day was over, it was like a switch flipped and he was as carefree as anyone I have ever known. All I know is that he had been my confidant and protector and the best brother a girl could ever have.

  I knew I wouldn’t be sleeping well. Scott’s unexpected presence and declarations of love guaranteed that. I had expected when he said those words I would be ecstatic, but I couldn’t trust it. He had been too unsure with me, like he was frequently in conflict with the way he felt about me. I had tried to deny it because I wanted him to be sure, like I was sure. There were moments when I swore he felt the rightness of us, but that always seemed to precipitate him pulling away again.

  I opened the window in my room, even though it was very cool outside. I loved the calming sound of the ocean waves breaking against the shore. I cranked up the electric blanket and snuggled in. I grabbed my copy of A Christmas Carol. I was just about finished with it. I thought back to the night I started it; I remembered watching Scott restlessly sleeping. I had a feeling it wasn’t just because of the flu. I think, even in his sleep, he was conflicted. I still remember waking up to him watching me. It was one of those moments where I thought for sure he felt the same way I did, but then he pushed me away.

  I finished the book and set it on my nightstand. Another year is ending, I thought. Oh, what a year it had been. I had gone from being married to divorced to meeting who I thought was the love of my life. I know that sounds backwards, but for a while it had given me great hope that through my greatest heartache, I would find my greatest happiness. Instead, I found out what true heartache was.

  I lay down and closed my eyes and tried not to think, but then I thought of an old movie my momma and I watched together. I was having a hard time remembering the name of it, but there was a song in it that said, “If you’re worried and you can’t sleep, then count your blessings instead of sheep.” I always felt that was a nice thought, so I decided maybe I would give it a try. On the top of my list was my parents, Tucker, my health, my warm blanket, the beauty I was surrounded by. Then I started thinking about Myrna and Jerry and even Nick. But as hard as I tried not to, Scott kept frequenting my thoughts.

  Oh, it was going to be a long night.

  I think I managed a few hours of uninterrupted sleep mingled with a couple of hours of off-and-on sleep. I gave up at six and decided to go for a swim. One of the best things about being back home was our pool. I had missed being able to swim outdoors almost any time of year. I slipped into one of my swimsuits, a red one piece. I grabbed a towel and my robe and made the chilly trek out to the pool. I noticed the main house was still dark. I knew my parents didn’t like me swimming by myself, but I think sometimes they still thought I was twelve.

  I quickly dove in to warm up. It was only forty degrees outside. The pool was blissfully warm. I swam several laps and reveled in the solitude and the water as I glided across it. There is something so soothing about water; maybe that’s why I didn’t notice I had company until that company was practically right on top of me.

  I practically screamed when Scott jumped in.

  He came up out of the water grinning like an idiot. “Good morning, beautiful.”

  He was so annoying. We stood about five feet apart, and oh my goodness, he looked very fine. I knew he would have a nice chest, and the whole wet look worked for him. But I was not going to let his physical prowess undermine the hate I had going for him.

  “Well, it was a good morning. What are you doing up so early?” I asked, completely annoyed.

  He moved closer. “I could ask you the same question, Ava Mae.”

  “Yes, but I asked you first. And don’t ‘Ava Mae’ me. Only my family gets to call me that.”

  He smiled and winked. “Fine. I’ll wait until we’re family then.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “You know what they say, Ava, first comes love then comes marriage.”

  “Are you out of your mind?”

  He grabbed me and, like an idiot, I liked it. But I quickly came to my senses and pushed him away, or at least I tried to.

  He looked down at me as he had me in his arms. His nicely toned bare arms. He reached up and stroked my hair. “Ava, I’m completely out of my mind in love with you.”

  I put my head down. “Will you please quit saying that?”

  “Why?”

  “Because we both know it’s not true.”

  He tipped my chin back up with his hand. “Ava, why don’t you believe it?”

  I for reals pushed away from him. His sincerity and amazing body were not helping my resolve to stay on my side of that ever-shrinking playground. I swam to the side nearest to me. He followed. I leaned against the pool wall, so just my head and shoulders were showing. He did the same a foot away from me.

  He turned his head toward me. “Ava…”

  I looked at him and narrowed my eyes. “How could you be in love with me? I still have a pulse and my husband didn’t die.”

  His eyes widened.

  I decided after that unwarranted and biting remark, I should probably go. I turned to leave.

  He gently grabbed my arm. “Ava, you don’t get to just run away after a comment like that.” He pulled me closer and looked down at me and smiled. “Wow. You know how to cut right to the core. It’s like an art form for you.”

  “I guess I’m just gifted that way.”

  His eyes bore into mine. “Ava.” He ran his hand silkily down my arm. It gave me goose bumps. I blamed it on the cold morning air. “I know I have a lot of explaining to do and I promise I will, just at least give me the chance.”

  I carefully thought about it while he looked down at me longingly I let out several long, slow breaths. “I’ll think about it. Just tell me one thing right now. You say you love me, but the last time we were together, you basically negated our whole relationship and then you just let me walk away. Why?”

  He leaned down and kissed my forehead. “I’m a selfish jerk.”

  I pulled away from him. “You’ve got that right.” Then I dove into the water and finished my swim.

  We swam together, silently next to each other, for several more minutes. Back and forth and back and forth, just like our relationship had been. I contemplated, as we swam, about our relationship. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. If it was only a matter of being in love with him, then the answer was easy, but it was much more complicated t
han that, because I was selfish, too. I wanted to be the only woman he loved.

  When I finished swimming, Scott followed me out of the pool. I quickly put on my robe while Scott wrapped a towel around himself. He really did look good.

  “Feel free to help yourself to anything in the kitchen. My momma and I will be shopping this morning.”

  “Your dad asked me to help him and your brother today.”

  I couldn’t help but laugh a little. “A word of advice, watch my brother.”

  “Yeah, I get the feeling that for some reason he doesn’t really like me.”

  “See you later,” I said as I walked back toward my little house.

  “Ava?”

  I turned around. “Yeah?”

  “Can we talk later?”

  I smiled. “If you’re still alive.”

  I heard him laugh as I entered my house.

  Chapter 16

  I got ready and dressed carefully, taking extra care with my hair. Not that Scott was picky about that sort of thing. That’s one thing I liked about him: no matter what I wore, he was always flattering. I’ve never felt self-conscious around him. But I wasn’t sure why I was dressing to please him anyway. Who was I kidding? No matter my confusion or current feelings for him, he had an effect on me.

  My mom and I headed to the open shopping complex closest to our home.

  “So how was your swim this morning, Ava?”

  I rolled my eyes. “Don’t pretend you and daddy weren’t spying on us this morning.”

  She laughed.

  “I still can’t believe you invited him to stay with us.”

  She briefly glanced my way as she was driving. “Well how else were we supposed to get to know him?”

  “Why do you want to after the way he treated me?”

  “Ava, your daddy and I aren’t pretending we like the way he treated you, but last night when he walked in, I visibly saw you change. I could see your annoyance, which by the way you’re terrible at hiding.”

  “I wasn’t trying to hide it.”

  My momma laughed at me. “Anyway, mixed in with your annoyance was the light you had been missing since you returned home.”