Smoke and Mirrors

by M. Mabie

  “That’s okay, neither does Darrell, but we’re still letting him go.”

  She giggled and popped up off the ground. “Can I go, Mom?”

  I wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do. My mom-brain kicked into high gear debating. Is he going to just think he’s some glorified babysitter? Will I owe him? Will Delaney be comfortable? Then again, Darrell would be there and she was with him all the time. Plus, Vaughn had a little girl.

  The main thing was, I actually trusted Aaron and knew she’d be fine with him. Besides, only the night before he’d said he wanted to get to know her better. Maybe it was a good opportunity, if she wanted to go.

  I let go of Aaron’s hand and squatted down to her height. “Do you want to go play golf with them? I’m not going and it might last a long time.”

  Her mouth twisted to the side, and then she glanced up at the man beside me, who was patiently waiting to hear her decision.

  “I want to go. I’m on Aaron’s team.”

  He clapped his hands and his smile lit up the neighborhood.

  “Good, that’s settled. Now Aaron has a team, and you can go run all over hell’s half acre,” Darrell announced. He looked about as smart as he could, attempting to hide his shit-eating grin. “That works out perfect.” He’d told me no for that very reason.

  I stood and when Delaney wasn’t looking I flipped Big D the big bird. He caught it like I’d blown him a kiss. What a turd.

  “Is golfing hard? Do I need to bring stuff with me?” she asked her new partner.

  “I don’t think so,” he answered her, his eyes friendly and reassuring as he spoke.

  Vaughn surmised, “I think they have a set of kids’ clubs she can use at the course. I’ve seen them rented out before.”

  “Are you guys sure?” I asked one more time. It was one thing to volunteer to watch a little girl for a while, but it was a completely different thing to take one to a golf course.

  “She’s going,” Aaron confirmed. “Help me get her car seat.”

  “Delaney, I’ll put up your chalk later for you, but go put some tennis shoes and socks on.”

  “We’re not playing tennis,” she argued.

  I looked Aaron in the eye. “Are you sure you’re up for this?”

  “Yes,” he contended with gusto.

  She was waiting for me to reply, her hands on her hips. As I walked to the back of my car, I told her, “Tennis shoes are also golf shoes. Go put them on, and I’ll tie them out here.”

  I opened the car door and grabbed the booster seat from the back and passed it to him.

  “We’ll see you there, Aaron,” Vaughn called from his truck as he and Darrell climbed in.

  We walked to his pickup, and I told him, “If it doesn’t go well, just text me. I can swing by and get her after I’m done uptown.”

  He put the booster in the passenger side. “She’ll be fine.”

  “I’m not worried about her,” I admitted.

  “I’ll be fine.”

  I took a deep breath, naturally sort of nervous to let my kid go with someone new. On top of that, I was nervous for him to take her and nervous for her to be in such an unfamiliar situation. What if she drove him nuts? She could be a shit when she wanted ... then again I supposed that was all kids.

  “Okay, then. Thanks for doing this.”

  He nodded for me to step closer and I willingly obliged. What was it about being so close to him that always had my lips tingling and my body gravitating toward his?

  He bent and kissed me, and his warm palm cupped my cheek.

  “Thanks for letting her go. If I get an emergency, I’ll call you. Otherwise, I’ll bring her back when we’re done.” Aaron didn’t look apprehensive or worried about spending time with her, which was good.

  Actually, he looked excited.

  All I could think of was his grinning lips. “Maybe I’ll make you dinner and you can stay here tonight, if everything goes okay.”

  “Maybe we’ll swing by and pick up Smokie on our way back.” His smile grew and I felt all gooey inside. Then he explained, “I can’t leave him alone overnight.”

  Overnight. Oh my God, yes.

  That was, if Delaney was cool with things. I wouldn’t make her uncomfortable in her own home, but I also knew she slept like the dead. So I was optimistic.

  “I hope Smokie likes spaghetti.”

  He nodded and his tongue slipped back and forth behind his bottom lip as he tried to hide his amusement. “I think that’s his favorite.”

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  AARON

  There was that peaceful face again. I couldn’t take total credit for it, but I enjoyed it all the same, and I’d do whatever it took to keep it there. Brightening her eyes. Pinking her cheeks. Pursing her lips. It made my day seeing her like that.

  “Do I need a cup, Mom?” Delaney called from behind Faith. I hadn’t even noticed her walk up.

  I’d need to remember that bit of recon. She was sneaky.

  “I don’t think so.” Faith’s eyes were locked on a target, never leaving mine.

  “They have drinks there, Delaney. If you get thirsty we’ll get you one,” I promised.

  It was a strange moment. Faith was trusting me with the most precious thing in her life, a responsibility I wouldn’t neglect. It was a tipping point and it had to go well.

  “Okay.” Delaney came up beside her mom and looked up at us, waiting.

  “Just watch her?” Faith requested quietly.

  “Won’t take my eyes off her.”

  And a pair of tiny eyes were watching us, so I tamped down the impulse to sweep Faith into my arms and kiss the hell out of her. I hoped the heat in her eyes only built while we were gone because it was burning brighter than I’d ever seen.

  Later, I’d tend to it.

  Later, I’d throw myself into her fire.

  But, for the moment, I pressed my lips to her forehead.

  Then after the quick chaste moment, Faith knelt down to speak to her daughter. “You be good and listen to Aaron, okay?”

  Delaney nodded.

  “Have fun.” She hugged her girl and when she pulled back, Delaney put a kiss in the same place I had. In the center of her forehead, on top of mine.

  How had I stayed away that long, being only down the street from these two people? They loved each other, and I wanted in on it.

  Faith stood and I got out of the way so Delaney could climb into the cab. She got in on her own, although I stood by to make sure she didn’t slip.

  Her laces were still flopping around and I took it upon myself to tie them for her. I pulled the strings but not too tight. She nodded her approval and then offered me her left foot, so I did the same on that side.

  Faith stepped back as I shut the door and rounded the hood.

  “I love you, Mom,” Delaney called from the open window.

  “I love you, Del. See you in a while.”

  One day soon, I hoped she loved me too.

  I heard Delaney click the seat belt into place as I got one last look at her mom through the window. She walked to the door, looking over her shoulder every few steps, and then waved before she went inside.

  “I’ve been to the golf course before,” Delaney told me very matter-of-factly, sitting beside me as I pulled out onto the road.

  “You have?”

  “Yep. Gramma made food for a wedding and I came with her. I got to dance and wear a dress.” Her feet kicked back and forth.

  “That sounds like fun.”

  It was then that I realized I’d never driven alone with a child.

  Hyper-aware of everything, I turned onto the main road that went through Wynne and when I got to the highway at the top of the hill, I waited for a truck to pass even though he was way, way off and I could have made it.

  “Your mom said you are in karate. Do you like it?”

  “I like it. I can kick and punch, but I don’t like doing fights. I like just doing it by myself.” She was honest.


  “That’s not a bad thing. I don’t like fights either.”

  “Papa D says it’s good for little girls to know how to take care of themselves.”

  I accelerated up the hill and hit cruising speed as we left north of town. “He’s right, but you probably don’t have to worry about that.”

  “No. I just talk to nice people.” Her finger pointed out to a field. “Look, a baby cow. Aw. I love it.” She mooed at it and giggled when it coincidentally looked up as if to say hello to her as we passed.

  “I hope I’m good at golf. Is it hard?” Although her voice was sweet and tiny, she held a conversation like an adult.

  “I’ll help you.” Then I confided, “But I’m not that good at it myself.”

  Her eyes shot over to me. “You’re not?”

  “I’m okay, but I don’t get to play much. Even if I don’t do well, it’s still fun.”

  I put my blinker on, but again waited for a vehicle a ways down the road to pass before I turned into the lane that led to the clubhouse. A cart went by on the green to the right and I noticed she followed it, watching it as it went by.

  “We’re going to drive one of those,” I told her.

  “No way. I can’t drive yet. I’m just four.”

  “Well, I’ll probably drive, but you can try if you want. They don’t go fast. It’s easy.”

  “I don’t know.” Her eyes were wide as we parked beside Vaughn’s vehicle.

  “I won’t let you get hurt.” I turned the ignition off and hopped out of the truck, heading to her side to help her out, but by the time I made it to her, she was unbuckled and climbing down herself. She had to jump out of the cab, and she held her little hand out for me to assist her on the way down.

  It was warm and so, so petite in mine.

  “Thanks,” she said, hopping onto the gravel.

  Reaching into the bed of my pickup, I lifted my secondhand clubs out and threw the strap over my shoulder.

  Again, she lifted her hand for me to take as we walked across the parking lot. She skipped and kicked rocks and laughed.

  My chest felt tight and my heart stretched to a new size.

  Inside the clubhouse, Vaughn and Darrell were waiting for us, drinking a beer. There was no way in hell I’d be drinking that afternoon.

  No. Way. In. Hell.

  “Hey, Aaron,” Mickey said across the counter. I didn’t miss the shock on her face when she peeked down to see Delaney Simpson holding my index finger, blinking up at her. “Hi, Delaney.”

  Mickey was a year younger than Faith, if I remembered right. Her parents owned the course and, naturally, after college she came back and worked there too.

  “Do you have a spare set of kids’ clubs I can rent for my partner here?”

  “I sure do,” she answered, wearing a huge smile. Quickly, she bound through a door behind the counter and came back with a tiny pink set. “These were my first clubs.”

  Delaney wasn’t shy and walked right up to her to get them. Just as I had, she slung them over her shoulder.

  “How much?” I pulled my wallet from my pocket.

  Mickey waved me off. “Don’t be silly. I’m just glad someone is using them. I loved playing at her age, but not many young girls get out here.” Mickey’s attention went back to the petite lady at my side. “Have you played before, Delaney?”

  “Nope, but Aaron is going to help me.” Her eyes shot to mine. “And maybe I can drive the cart.”

  Mickey grinned and cocked an eyebrow at me.

  “I’ll be careful,” I assured.

  “You better be,” Darrell said behind me. “Her mom will whoop your ass quicker than shit, but, then again, you’d probably like it.”

  I could have argued or smarted something back, but he wasn’t entirely wrong. There was no way on Earth I’d let anything happen to Delaney, but the thought of Faith shoving me around wasn’t the worst thing I could imagine. Besides, he was just giving me hell, which I was already used to.

  I kept my mouth shut and shrugged. Saying nothing was a better way to get back at him.

  I asked the little blond beside me, “Do you want something to drink?”

  She strutted over to the glass cooler and examined her choices.

  “I like orange and blue,” she answered.

  Opening the door for her, I pulled two of each off the shelf. “Mickey, can I get some ice in a cooler bag and a cart?”

  She pecked the keys on her register. “Twenty-seven dollars.”

  As I paid, Vaughn, Darrell, and Delaney headed out the back doors to the carts.

  Mickey smiled as she handed me change and pushed the mini cooler across the counter to me with the drinks packed in it. “So you and Faith, huh? Is that something new?”

  I slipped the change into my front pocket. “It is and it isn’t.” Much of it felt new, but honestly how I felt about her wasn’t anything I wasn’t used to.

  “That’s cool. I always thought you two would make a good couple.”

  I wasn’t too sure what to say about that. Then again, I’d been hanging around Faith in any way I could for a long time. I just hadn’t thought about other people noticing. Or maybe I’d never really cared if they did.

  I spun the number nine cart key around my finger. “Thanks for the clubs. I’ll bring them back in when we’re done.”

  “Have a good time,” she said and answered the ringing phone at the end of the counter.

  “LAST HOLE,” DARRELL called as he and Vaughn climbed back onto their cart. “It’s good to know that even on a bad day I can still whip some youngsters like you.” He and Vaughn were winning. We were playing our best ball, but I was pretty sure Vaughn was playing a better game than him. Although, they were on a team and Vaughn knew better than to mention their score was more his doing than Darrell’s.

  Delaney was already on the passenger side, ready for us to go to the next tee like we had the previous eight times. She seemed to like riding but hadn’t shown much interest in driving the cart.

  “Do you want to steer?”

  She unscrewed the cap of her orange Gatorade and with two hands lifted it to her mouth for a drink, shaking her head no. She had the cutest blue and orange mustache, having drunk one of each.

  “Okay, I’ll wait for you to get a drink and then we’ll go.” I slipped my putter into my bag at the back and took a seat next to her.

  “Do you kiss my mom?” she asked. Her question knocked the air from my chest and I coughed.

  What was I supposed to say to that?

  On one hand, I didn’t want to lie. On the other hand, I really fucking wished Faith had been there to answer the question the right way. I wasn’t sure what was appropriate.

  “I really like your mom.” That seemed like a safe way to put it.

  I turned the key and the brake released when I pressed on the gas pedal. I had one more hole and a short ride back to town. The best thing I could do was just play it cool until we got back to their place.

  We rode over a hill and around a tree line, and I thought I was out of the woods, so to speak, with the curious miniature version of Faith sitting to my right.

  I’d been wrong.

  “If you kiss my mom, then you can be my dad, right? Because dads kiss moms,” she explained right as we pulled up beside our opponents, her palms out in front of her making her case.

  The eyes of the men on the other cart shot to me. As I stared back at them I realized I was holding my breath, my jaw unhinged.

  Oscar. Sierra.

  I’d been in some hairy situations. Fires. Explosions. Heavy firearm training. Yet, I’d never felt that type of pressure before, and all from a pea-sized girl with the familiar bright blue eyes.

  I swallowed.

  Vaughn’s face showed sympathy. Darrell’s was pure shock and delight.

  I cleared my throat. “Delaney, I’m not sure how to answer that. How about we finish up this game, go get Smokie, and then talk to your mom about it?”

  “Smokie?�
�� She squealed, hopped off the cart, and pulled a club from the small pink bag strapped to the back beside mine, knowing she’d go first like before. “Okay. I was just gonna say that it matches because I don’t have a dad and you don’t have a kid.”

  Darrell’s eyebrows rose and he frowned, acknowledging her logic with a nod. “She’s a smart kid, Goodman.”

  Vaughn scrubbed his hand over his chin and blew out a long breath.

  She was smart and, in the way she put it, we did match. I’d told Faith that I was committed to whatever future she wanted. Whatever plan she had in mind was all right with me. I guessed Delaney had a plan of her own.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  FAITH

  Me: He took Delaney golfing so I could go to the interview.

  Noel: That’s sweet. Does he know that’s where you went?

  Emma: OMG. Hot guys playing with kids gets me every time.

  Abbey: I can’t even get my kids’ dad to show up for a soccer game. Lol

  Me: I haven’t mentioned the job yet. I wanted to see how everything went first. He’s staying the night if things go smoothly with him hanging out here this evening. Is that weird to bring a guy home so soon? Around my kid?

  I’d asked myself that very same question over and over again. Did that make me a slutty-ho mom? When was the right time?

  Obviously, it wasn’t like we were going to be making out in front of her or anything crazy like that, but what would she think about him being there? It was probably time that I talked to her about it.

  Emma: It’s not like he’s a stranger, Faith. She knows him. She likes him. Just feel it out. If she seems confused, talk to her. Otherwise, just enjoy the night. You deserve it.

  I was glad to hear someone else say that because those were my thoughts exactly. It was just such new territory and I didn’t want to mess things up. It made me feel better to hear someone else agree.

  Noel: You deserve new job sex! I’m so excited for you.

  I laughed at Noel’s message. I wasn’t sure I deserved sex for getting a new job, but I couldn’t think of a better way to celebrate.

  I put my phone down on the counter and noticed Vaughn pulling away from Darrell’s next door. Since they were back, it was a good time to cook the noodles because my sauce was already done and simmering. I even had the oven preheated so I could simply toss the bread in at the last minute. I’d call that winning at life.