Lost Nowhere: A journey of self-discovery in a fantasy world

by Phoebe Garnsworthy

  Karisma reached for a candle to provide additional light as she created a bed on the sofa where Lily was sitting. It was complete with soft cushions and cuddly blankets. She opened the window up slightly, allowing a cool draft to seep in from the night air. Lastly, she poured strong-smelling ginger tea into an antique gold and finely painted red flower-tipped cup on a wooden table, with a small book in case Lily felt like reading.

  “You have no obligation to sleep here Lily, and I understand if you wish to continue on your journey. But please know that you are welcome into my home at anytime.”

  “Thank you Karisma, I truly appreciate it.”

  “I am just happy to share my knowledge with you, Lily. It has been a pleasure to meet you and I hope you are still here with me in the morning. Good night.”

  Karisma closed the door and left Lily alone in the room to sleep by herself.

  As Lily snuggled into bed she looked outside the window. The moon glowed with intensity, a reflective mirror of cool crimson red. And on either side of the perfectly round sphere was a sliced half-moon to the right, and a sliced half-moon to the left. There was not one, not two, but three moons in the sky. It was certainly something that Lily had never actually seen before, although she knew such a phenomenon could exist. The wispy clouds crawled quickly across the sky, creating a speckled veil as it covered the moons. And in the small gaps between the clouds of when the moons shone through, they seemed to all glow vibrantly in harmony, reflecting the beauty that the daylight sun had provided, for those who had missed the day. The night sky, although dark, held so much more beauty than the day, Lily thought. For one could stare for hours on end, falling deeper and deeper into the peaceful balance of light to dark and dark to light.

  The forest around Karisma’s house was an enticing playground calling Lily’s name. She couldn’t sleep now; she was far too excited to see what else there was. She wanted to meet the animals, the insects, the plants and the trees. But ultimately, she couldn’t sleep because she kept thinking about seeing Crysanthe again, and she fantasized about what it would be like to watch the dance of Neo. Without further thought, she leapt from the bed, and with hushed footsteps she scurried across the floor, making her way back to the red crystal beach on the land of Otor.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  THE DANCE OF NEO

  Lily stood still on the beach of Otor with the red garnet crystals beneath her feet. The smooth bubbles raced up over her toes and tickled her ankles while she held the ouroboros necklace in her left hand and the seashell in her right. From afar, the waves in the ocean seemed all over the place—a chaotic mess of rough sea and endless water colliding into one another. But upon closer inspection she could see evolving patterns forming as single circles transformed into doubles and then tripled and rippled out into millions and millions of tiny circles. One elongated conjoined pattern, breathing life from the center of the horizon, moving forward from one point to another, back again and directly through to her.

  She closed her eyes tightly and imagined the electrical wire from the middle of her forehead projecting out, streaming a line of light straight into the water, diving deep below to find Crysanthe wherever she was. Lily whispered into the wind ‘come to the shore of Otor’. And she visualized Crysanthe’s sweet face as she repeated the words once more, a total of four times in her head. Crysanthe! Come to the shore of Otor, come to the shore of Otor, come to the shore of Otor.

  She opened her eyes, but Crysanthe was not in sight.

  Lily continued to stare, waiting for the mermaid to appear. Nothing. Perhaps she was doing it wrong. Again she tried. Dangling the necklace into the water, she envisioned the line of communication open to Crysanthe once more. She sang with her heart through the wire and along the current, down the ocean path, but she did not appear. And so Lily tossed the seashell into the ocean, surrendering to the idea that perhaps she had imagined it after all. And at that final moment when she felt she had nothing left to give, was the moment Crysanthe appeared, shining vibrantly and elegantly, with the biggest smile upon her face.

  “Oh Lily, I am so happy that you called me again. I heard you the first time! Do not worry, it takes me awhile to swim this far over.”

  Crysanthe hovered in the water, only a stone’s throw away from where Lily stood and she handed her the seashell back again. Her body was covered in shimmering crystals that exploded in beautiful patterns across her skin. The glittering sparkles lit up her silvery complexion in colorful fireworks, and throughout her white hair you could see tiny specks of rainbow crystals braided through. Her ouroboros was tied around the top of her head like a crown, hanging delicately in between her violet eyes.

  “What do you think of the colorful mishmash on my skin? I let the children dress me today as part of their arts and crafts at school. It’s a true masterpiece, do you agree?” She smiled as she pointed to the drawings on her body and Lily nodded in response, feeling her smile automatically light up as she shared happiness for what Crysanthe had experienced.

  “It’s beautiful! And the colors sparkle in a way that I have never seen before. How is that so?”

  “It’s because the world is magical Lily!” She giggled, as rainbow bubbles escaped her mouth again. “Anything can completely change in a split second, look!” Crysanthe picked up a handful of water in her hands and Lily watched while it transformed into slivers of red glittery sand and seeped through her fingers back into the ocean, returning to its natural form.

  “Wow, that is beautiful!”

  “It’s only salt in the water. It just depends on how you look at it,” Crysanthe said as she wriggled around on the point of her tail, and the water droplets on her skin changed into solid matter again. She dusted off the colored salts from her body and sprinkled the particles in the air, allowing the wind to blow them high across the sky.

  “Whatever you want to see, you will see.”

  “I want to see everything!” Lily shrieked.

  “Then so it shall be,” Crysanthe agreed. “Now, tell me, did you meet Karisma? What is she like?” Crysanthe played with her hair as she spoke to Lily, pulling out the crystals and skimming them over the water’s edge.

  “Yes, I have spent all day with Karisma. She is so lovely and kind. She is teaching me her knowledge and she says I have great powers inside of me, just waiting to be unleashed,” Lily explained, and as she did she realized that the more she repeated the idea of her talents, the more achievable they appeared to be.

  “Lily, I agree with Karisma completely, for I too have had the same intuition about you. And it is for these reasons that I want your attendance at the Dance of Neo tonight.”

  Lily smiled with her teeth as she listened to the compliments from her new friend. Having never had any friends before, she did not know what to expect, or what was right. But she felt complete love and gratitude from the mermaid and all from just being herself; she knew this must have been what true friendship meant.

  “Will you put me under the same spell as last time?” Lily asked nervously, reliving the terror she had originally felt from not being free.

  “We have two options. I can freeze you as before, and you can observe silently. Or I can teach you how to grow fins and swim underneath the ocean with me, by your side. And together, we will dance for Neo. Dance to celebrate the happiness and goodness in this world. Are you one with me?” Crysanthe held her hand out for Lily to join her in the water as the waves rose and crashed down tremendously behind the beautiful mermaid queen.

  “To be one of you? But how is it possible?” Lily queried, although she tip-toed farther into the water just the same.

  “Anything is possible, if you believe it to be so. This time, I will give you the gift of air. Do you know how to swim?”

  “Yes.”

  “Then look into my eyes and have no fear.”

  Lily stared once again into the violet eyes of Crysanthe. The inner circles swirled around in a nauseating motion making her feel dizzy. The vortex completely o
vertook Lily’s mind and once again she was struck into a motionless trance, stiff inside a statue form. It felt very similar to before, and like last time, she too was now hovering above water. But as Crysanthe lowered Lily down into the water, her feet transformed into a fish tail. Her dress lifted above her head, and floated up as Lily sank deeper and deeper into the water. The feeling of salt water on her skin, which was now her fins, felt liberating, comforting, and lubricating. And with ease she swam, gliding her arms through the water easily, like flying through air. She moved her back fluidly with her hips, swimming through the currents like a dolphin.

  Together they swam, hand in hand, while Crysanthe guided Lily to explore her home. The idea of breathing underwater felt strange to Lily in her thoughts, but when she didn’t think about it, she naturally flowed in harmony. A school of fish dressed in brilliant colors of yellow and purple swam beside Lily, moving around in a protective arrow. Lily felt strangely connected to the swimming fish, she felt like she was a part of something bigger than just herself, like she belonged in the oceanic world. More and more fish came closer to the mermaids, curiously staring and wondering if they were to be prey or the other way around.

  The girls swam deeper below the dark black waters, and Lily held Crysanthe’s hand tightly, careful not to get lost. As her eyes adjusted to the darkness she was able to see the florescent lights of the fish moving around clearly. The jellyfish were her favorite to witness, with their opening umbrellas of sparkling circles and mosaics. The texture of the jellyfish looked squishy and soft to touch; she was mesmerized by the size and delicate nature of such a creature. Giant eels wiggled through, some over ten miles long, they seemed to stretch out forever lighting the path. Once again the darkness began to part, as Lily swam over the coral forest, watching below as it swayed in harmony, as though it were dancing to a tune that streamed vibrations through the ocean.

  “How do you not get scared of the big fish? Like that one, with giant claw-like teeth and beady looking eyes?” Lily asked, as the giant fish lost interest and swam away.

  “Zavier says that they feel fear. And that fear only becomes real if you believe it to be so.”

  “So if I don’t believe that they will harm me, they won’t?” Lily asked as another strange- looking fish with huge claws in its mouth swam closer to the girls.

  “Yes, they are more scared of you than you are of them. They don’t want to hurt you, but if you start thinking they will, they will believe it too, and next thing you know you will be bitten.”

  “Zavier is smart. It’s the same kind of thing my papa says to me about snakes—they only attack if they feel like you are cornering them with no way out. They don’t want to be near you anymore than you want to be near them!”

  Lily hadn't thought about Father in awhile. She wondered if she held the same power of being able to communicate telepathically to him, like she did with Crysanthe. She called to him through her mind, envisioning his face and she told him, I am safe Papa! At that moment she spotted a giant crab and a baby cuddling each other. She felt like it was a sign that Father heard her voice.

  The girls finally stopped at a large opening to a cave that was covered in seashells.

  “Welcome to the Cave of Zeka,” Crysanthe said as she swam through the entrance, motioning for Lily to follow.

  The walls of the caves were covered in drawings, and they reminded Lily of ancient scriptures inside the pyramids of Egypt. She stared with admiration at the great many stories that were told through the etchings. The tunnel of the cave was shaped as though a large sphere had snowballed through a giant mountain, opening up a portal for the mermaids to swim through. The layout was a giant cross, at each end air, water, fire, or nature was written and drawn to mark the opening. In the center of the cross, was a giant circular room, colored in a deep rustic red brown, with soft patches of slimy moss growing throughout that looked like little square seats for students to sit on while staring at the artwork on the walls. Directly above the sphere room was a giant ball of light, which Lily had learned from Crysanthe was called Neo, and it shone through the tunnel, illuminating each end of the caves at all times, no matter what time of day it was. Crysanthe held Lily’s hand and sat her down at the center point of the tunnel, so that the two of them could examine the scriptures together.

  The symbols made no sense to Lily, yet they looked so familiar from her daily life back home—a triangle inside a circle, and a star portrayed as a three-dimensional-drawing with pointing arrows and symbols all around it. It carried forward, with a dot, and then two dots and then a line and further more a shape of additional circles, flowering out from the center. It reminded Lily of the pattern she had seen at the floor of her home that day when she traveled beneath the house to Sa Neo, although she couldn’t be certain.

  “Do you know what any of it means?”

  “Not so much,” Crysanthe confessed. “Zavier understands it more than I do, and every time he explains it my mind just wanders. I like simplicity.” She giggled, then continued, “But this means the seed, and this is the flower, and together they create life. Here, look.”

  Crysanthe picked up a large chunk of clear crystal quartz and she smashed it on the edge of a rock, rubbing her hand over the broken edge of the quartz, she showed Lily the inside of the crystal. “See, the pattern is the same inside the crystal. It’s everywhere if you start looking for it!”

  “Wow!”

  The inside of the crystal had a fine intricate pattern with a spiderweb-like design, and it glowed with florescent colors as Crysanthe spoke about it, showing Lily the truth.

  “And here, this is the dance of Neo,” Crysanthe said as she pointed proudly to the drawing of several mermaids holding hands around a giant sphere. Sentences and verses circled around the center of the sphere, and arrows underneath pointed the way, suggesting the direction and position of the mermaids.

  “So, I say the words inside the center here, and everyone is to hold hands, one facing in and one facing out. We turn around clockwise four times and switch positions, and then back around the opposite way.”

  Lily nodded with understanding.

  “Do you want to know what the peculiar thing about this is, though?”

  Lily’s eyes widened.

  “No one is actually swimming, or moving, we are just pulled in one direction, and then the other. It’s a force beneath us, above us, and inside us. We don’t know how or why it happens, but we just move with it.”

  Lily gazed at the drawing, probing for answers, yet accepting that such a mysterious process could evolve.

  “Do you think it will matter if I am included when I am not a real mermaid?” Lily asked, not wanting to interfere, yet feeling it necessary to be included in such an important occasion.

  “Lily, you hold our ultimate life symbol around your neck,” Crysanthe reassured as she pointed to a giant ouroboros drawn in white on the far wall. “It would be our honor to include you in our dance.”

  “Why do you do the dance of Neo?” Lily asked, looking at the beautiful sketches of the mermaids gleefully holding hands.

  “Because it makes us happy to share something together. We do the dance of Neo every day.”

  “Every day?”

  “Every day!” Crysanthe giggled again and shuffled her tail with excitement as she continued, “something unexplainable happens when we do it; the fire glows brighter, the warmth of Neo is stronger, we feel closer as a community as well. It’s like the whole ocean benefits from it—the coral, the sharks, the dolphins, everyone. Perhaps it affects you there on land too, we wouldn’t know.”

  “I will try and find the answer for you tomorrow,” Lily promised, as she wondered how she could measure what success meant.

  “Come, we should hurry.” Crysanthe waved Lily to follow as she swam off quickly, her giant silver tail battering through the water creating a trail of bubbles behind.

  Together the mermaids swam up to where several mermaids were crowded around. Lily could
recognize Zavier from last time. He was sitting on a seashell throne playing a game with checkered colored squares and carved out shapes. It reminded Lily of chess. His features were quite distinct, with long shaggy hair and a marvelous crystal that hung loosely around his neck. Aside from Lily recognizing this from his exterior, he immediately swam over to Crysanthe as soon as she came into his sight.

  “Oh Crysanthe, you look absolutely beautiful,” Zavier praised as they swam closer together.

  “Silly Zavier, you saw me only a little while ago! Surely I can’t look any different than before!” she teased, moving her body away from him as though letting him chase her slightly.

  “Yes my love, but I can see the spark in your eyes of your findings. I know this girl is making quite an impact on you. And although I was against it at first, seeing the way it makes you happy, well, it makes me love you even more. I want to remind you how grateful I am that you have chosen to share your life with me.”

  Zavier spoke his words with integrity, not caring who was around to overhear, just as long as his beloved was listening. And even then, Crysanthe looked away coyly, as if she was undeserving of his affection. But he held her hand tightly, showing that he was not going anywhere until she acknowledged his presence.

  “My love, we have company,” she said and smiled as she stroked his hand on top of her hand. In one look she spoke words back to him that only he could understand.

  Lily observed eagerly. She had never seen such a beautiful display of equally balanced male and female energy. There was an undeniable spark between the two, and it gleamed like stardust swirling above their heads, soundly encasing them both in a shell together, as though they were untouchable as one. And as a result of the love that Zavier professed in words and gestures, Crysanthe was like a flower in a vase, observed and drizzled with love, giving her no other option than to bloom in such trust that he allowed.