Northern Lights

by Michelle Cary

  He hung up the phone, then turned back to her. Brooke tried not to look as disappointed as she felt. It certainly wasn’t his fault he had a meeting.

  “I suppose you need to go?”

  He nodded and ran a hand through his disheveled hair. “Afraid so. Why don’t you get dressed and come with me? After we’re finished we’ll grab some lunch and then stop by Willow and Adam’s so you can pick up your mail.”

  She forced a smile. “Sounds like a plan.”

  She climbed from the bed and headed for the door, only to have Nathan block her exit. “Just so you know”—he slid his hands into hers—“I could tell you weren’t really ready to go all the way today.”

  She swallowed down the sudden lump in her throat. “I…I’m sorry, Nathan. I want to make love to you. I really do. It’s just that I’m not…” She shrugged and hung her head, not liking the feeling of guilt. “Well, you’re right…I’m not ready.”

  He curled a finger beneath her chin, lifting her gaze to meet his. “No need to be sorry, sweetheart. While I’ll admit to being a bit frustrated, I also completely understand.”

  “You do?”

  He placed a gentle kiss on the tip of her nose and smile. “I do, and just so you know, when you are ready, I plan on being the one to show you how making love is supposed to be.”

  Her heart leaped for joy and this time she gave him a genuine smile. “When I’m ready, I think I’d like that.”

  CHAPTER 14

  It was early afternoon when they stepped into the foyer at Willow and Adam’s house.

  Willow enveloped Brooke in a hug. “Nathan called last night and told us about the break-in. Are you okay?”

  Brooke nodded. “I’m fine. Whatever happened took place while I was gone.”

  “Did they take anything?”

  “I don’t think so, but it was hard to tell in all the mess. I’ll be able to know for sure once I get things cleaned up.”

  Placing a hand on Brooke’s shoulder, Willow shook her head. “I can’t believe somebody would be so brazen and ransack your place.” She paused as a horrified expression crossed her face. “Do you think it was the same person who they thought might be stalking you?”

  “There’s a good chance.”

  “Well, what are the police doing about it?”

  Brooke shrugged. “There isn’t much they can do. I’m staying with Nathan for now while they keep a lookout.” Feeling the beginnings of a headache starting Brooke rubbed her temple. “I’m really sick of thinking about it. Can we change the subject, please?”

  “Okay, if that’s what you want.”

  “I’d appreciate it.”

  “No problem. So how was the trip?”

  “Hasn’t Adam already filled you in?”

  Willow nodded. “Sure he has, but I want the scoop from you. The perspective is sure to be different from a woman’s point of view.”

  Brooke laughed. “Like my perspective is going to be that much different.”

  “I’ll make you a cappuccino…and we have pastries.” Willow wagged her brows.

  “Well, how can I turn down an offer like that?” Brooke followed Willow down the small hallway into the kitchen. “So did you go for your ultrasound yet?”

  Willow shook her head. “Next week. I wanted to do it when I was sure Adam would be home to go with me. Just think…” She paused with one hand on the cabinet door. “Hopefully this Thanksgiving we’ll know the sex of our child and we’ll have just one more thing to be thankful for. You are coming to Thanksgiving, right?”

  “Of course.”

  Willow’s attention shifted to a small basket on the counter. “Oh, by the way, I have all your mail.” She passed the basket to Brooke. “Honestly, I expected to have to put everything into a big box, but once I sorted out the junk mail there wasn’t that much.”

  “I’m not the social butterfly you are,” Brooke replied, eyeing the stack of envelopes. “Besides my utility bills and letters from my brother, I don’t usually get much mail.”

  Willow glanced over her shoulder at Brooke. “Kinda makes getting the mail every day a bit depressing if you know all you’re going to get is bills.”

  Brooke shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m not one for surprises, so knowing what I’m facing is a good thing.”

  “I suppose.” She turned back to the cabinet and pulled out a bag of cappuccino blend. “Okay, so dish. I want to know how the trip was.”

  Brooke slid onto one of the bar stools at the island separating the kitchen from the dining area. “It was interesting. Hmm…let me think.” Brooke tapped her finger against her chin. “Well, we took a rogue wave that momentarily put us on our side and threw me out of my bunk and into a small dresser.” She raised her arm and pulled her sleeve up, revealing the fading black-and-blue bruise on the inside of her forearm. “I was going to suffer through it, but Nate insisted we have x-rays done. I guess it’s a good thing since it turned out I had a hairline fracture.”

  Willow inspected the remnants of the bruise. “Damn, Brooke. This must’ve been really ugly when it first happened. You’re lucky it wasn’t worse.”

  Brooke snorted at her words. “I’m lucky the boat was damaged enough we had to go back in for repairs. Otherwise, I’d have been gritting it out until the end of the season.”

  Willow paused, her eyes wide. “God, you’re starting to sound like Adam.”

  Brooke began thumbing through the stack. “They work on little to no sleep, through the least hospitable conditions on the face of the earth just so we can eat crab legs and crab cakes and shit.” She shook her head. “After the first couple of days, I found myself wanting to do everything I could to make things easier for them.”

  Brooke began making two piles, separating out the bills from her other mail. She’d been behind in her utilities before a month away, so the stack probably included a few past due and service shut off notices.

  “I’m getting the impression you actually liked working on the boat?”

  “I kinda did. It was weird being on the boat with all men, and I had to get over the sea sickness, but once that was out of the way, the trip was pretty cool.”

  “Cool?”

  “Okay, maybe cool isn’t the right word, but I have to say for the first time in my life I felt like I was needed. Every time they came in to eat, they couldn’t praise me enough. When they stepped into a clean shower and had dry clean clothes to change into, every one of them made a point to tell me how much they appreciated everything I was doing.”

  “That’s awesome, but I can’t believe you weren’t even a little scared. Adam said they hit some storms and had a few problems. Didn’t it frighten the hell out of you to be out in the middle of nowhere, knowing anything could happen?”

  Brooke paused at an oversized envelope. “Doesn’t it frighten you to know Adam is out there in the middle of nowhere, knowing anything could happen?”

  Willow cocked her head to the side. “Touché.”

  Brooke flipped the envelope over looking for a return address and frowned when she didn’t find one.

  “Did Nathan ask you to come back for the next season?”

  Brooke smiled. “Actually, he did.”

  “And?”

  “I’m probably going to do it.” She ripped open the end of the manila envelope and pulled out the contents. A paper was folded over, protecting something inside it.

  She opened the paper and a photo fell onto the counter.

  Brooke glanced down at the picture and froze. With shaking hands, she picked up the photo and stared at it. The picture was an old Polaroid of her lying in her childhood bed naked, bloody and bruised.

  “What’s wrong?” Willow skirted the counter, moved behind her and gasped when she caught sight of the photo. “Oh, my God!”

  Tears blurred Brooke’s vision, turning the scene before her into one giant inky blur. She sucked in a ragged breath and fought not to let out a cry. She picked up the paper to find only one word scrawled across
the page.

  REMEMBER?

  She hadn’t noticed Willow’s disappearance until she felt a warm hand on her shoulder. Brooke looked up through blurry eyes to see Nathan standing behind her.

  “What’s happened?”

  Unable to speak, she handed him the paper, then picked up the photo and cradled it to her chest. “He’s never going to leave me alone,” she finally managed to cry.

  “Who?” Willow asked, looking from Brooke to Nathan and back. “What’s going on? Who is the girl in the picture?”

  “The girl is Brooke,” Nathan replied.

  Willow gasped and covered her mouth with her hand. She shook her head and looked from Nathan to Adam to Brooke. “Who sent it to you?”

  “My stepfather.”

  “Why?”

  “To torment me.” She shook her head. “It wasn’t enough that he raped me. Now he has to ruin the rest of my life by never letting me forget it.”

  “Raped you? Brooke, what are you talking about?”

  “He raped her when she was a teenager,” Nathan said.

  Willow reached for the empty bar stool and leaned against it. “Oh, my God, what a horrible, evil man—”

  “Honey,” Nathan interrupted, “this is just some sick way of trying to get at you. You can’t let him.”

  She blinked back the tears and stared up at him, but words had left her.

  Nathan took the picture from her and studied it for several long seconds before shaking his head. “I think you need to call Detective Morrison about this.”

  Brooke took the picture back from him and closed her eyes. First her apartment, now this. It was too much, too quick and she was struggling to keep up. “Not right now,” she managed to whisper as she eased down from the bar stool and walked to the sliding glass doors leading to the deck. What she needed was some time alone to think and cry.

  The cold November air hit her square in the face, but she barely felt it. At this point, becoming numb would be the only way she’d survive the pain. She stared out over the yard to the small wooded area beyond. Her mind once again pulled her back to that agonizing night. Over the years, her memories had faded some, giving her much-needed distance between her current life and her past. It never went away completely, but the feel of his hands on her, the smell of his foul breath brushing across her skin had dissolved, leaving fuzzy images behind.

  Brooke looked down at the photo. Everything from that horrible night flooded back into her mind like a swollen river after a storm. The pain and humiliation she’d endured that night slammed into her, like a wrecking ball toppling a building, creating a physical pain greater than anything she’d felt since. How emotions could create such a strong physical response she’d never know. She simply wanted it to go far away.

  Even now she could see the flash from the camera behind her eyelids, hear the noise the camera made echo in the silence of the room. Why hadn’t she remembered it before? Her vision tunneled, threatening to go completely black as realization hit her. No matter how far she ran, no matter what she did, she’d never be rid of him. Death was the only answer, his or hers. A fight to the end would be the only way she’d ever truly be free of Wayne’s grip.

  Her knees gave out, but before she hit the hard deck, arms wrapped around her, pulling her into a tight embrace. Too exhausted to care who’d caught her, she closed her eyes and let go.

  * * *

  “It’s okay, baby. I’ve got you,” Nathan whispered as he gathered her close. Her eyes were closed and her head lolled to one side, coming to rest against his chest when he cradled her in his arms. She looked so tiny, so fragile. If he ever managed to get his hands on Wayne, he’d make the bastard paid for everything he’d done and was still doing to her.

  He turned back to the house and carefully angled them through the door.

  “What happened?” Willow asked a panicked look on her face.

  “She’ll be okay.” He said the words, hoping to convince himself also. “I think this is more than she can handle right now and I’d really rather not drive with her like this. Can we use your spare bedroom?”

  Willow nodded. “I’ll go with you and turn down the sheets.”

  Careful not to rock her too much, Nathan carefully climbed the steps to the second floor and entered the spare bedroom. Willow scurried around the bed and pulled the quilt and top sheet back, then stepped out of the way, giving Nathan the space he needed to place Brooke gently on the mattress. “I’m going to stay with her a while,” he said, kicking off his shoes.

  Willow nodded, apparently understanding Nathan’s need to be alone with Brooke. “Adam and I will be downstairs if you need anything.”

  He waited for her to close the door, then crawled onto the bed with Brooke. He pulled her back against him and held her tight. For a long time she didn’t move, didn’t speak, didn’t do anything but lay there and breathe.

  Struggling to find the right words, he strung and restrung together sentences in his head. In the end, he decided there wasn’t anything he could say to make the situation better for her. All he could do was be honest with his feelings and let her know she didn’t have to go through this alone.

  “I can’t claim to know how you’re feeling right now, but I want you to know I’m here for you, honey. I’m not going anywhere.”

  She began to shake. She wept against him, gut wrenching sobs wracking her body until, emotionally drained, her cries quieted. Fearful of disturbing her, Nathan didn’t move. Only after he heard her soft snores did he slowly extract himself from the bed and head downstairs.

  When he entered the kitchen, Willow and Adam were sitting at the table, cups of coffee in hand. Willow looked up. “How’s Brooke?”

  “She’s sleeping.” He motioned to the mugs. “Regular or decaf?”

  “Decaf. I’m not supposed to have caffeine.”

  Nathan wrinkled his nose, then proceeded to snag a mug from the cabinet and pour a cup. He’d take what he could get. He joined them at the table.

  Willow shook her head in disbelief. “I’ve never seen her like that. I mean, she’s had bouts of depression over the years, but this was downright scary.”

  Nathan ran a hand through his hair. “While we were at sea, she spent quite a bit of time talking with me in the wheelhouse. To say she hasn’t had a good life would be an understatement. Even so, I really don’t think she was prepared to handle something so devastating.”

  Anger welled inside him and he smacked his balled-up fist against the table. “I want to kill that bastard for putting her through the hell she’s in.”

  Adam leaned back and folded his hands behind his head. “You’d just end up going to jail for murder.”

  “It would be well worth it if I knew she’d be free from his grip.” Nathan shook his head. “I’m telling you, guys, I’ve never seen a person with the inner strength she has. With everything she’s been through, it’s amazing she’s not locked away in some mental health facility.”

  “I can’t believe she never said anything to me or anyone else about her stepfather raping her.” Willow shook her head. “I can’t imagine carrying around that secret all these years. It must be like having a never ending weight on her shoulders.”

  Adam picked up his mug. “I think the best thing we can do for her right now is to let her know we’re here for her.”

  Nathan nodded. “I already told her I’m not going anywhere. As far as I’m concerned, that bastard is going to have to get through me if he’s coming after her.”

  CHAPTER 15

  Brooke opened her eyes and blinked several times as her world came into focus. Realizing she was in one of Willow’s guest rooms, she nearly groaned out loud. If she was here, that meant the last few hours hadn’t simply been a bad dream.

  The familiar pain in her chest started again, reminding her that fear and heartbreak were close behind. She sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. There wasn’t any use in putting off the inevitable any longer. No doubt, Willow wou
ld have a million questions and so would Detective Morrison. Bile rose into her throat and, for a brief moment, Brooke feared she’d throw up.

  Instead, she forced down the reflex and pushed up from the bed, surprised a little at how unsteady she was on her legs. She was tired, that was all, she told herself as she crossed to the room to check her image in the mirror. Puffy, bloodshot eyes stared back at her. While she’d seen the person staring at her in the mirror more times than she could count, it still didn’t make it any easier to take. Once again, she’d allowed Wayne to ravage her, leaving her empty and hollow, without ever laying a finger on her. The cycle needed to end, and while she’d been saying that for years, now was the time to make it happen.

  She walked to the bathroom and filled the basin with cold water. With a washcloth, she soothed the heat from her cheeks and eyes until she almost looked normal, then wrung the cloth out, released the water and headed downstairs to face her friends. For years, she’d managed to keep her secret from them, creating an invisible barrier between her current life and her past. As if the break-in hadn’t put a big enough strain on her bid to keep her present and past separated, that damn photo had blown what was left all to hell, once again leaving her to pick up the pieces.

  Gathering the courage to face her friends, she slowly descended the steps and ambled toward the kitchen. They’d have questions, difficult questions with ugly, gruesome answers that would bring all those horrible memories and feelings flooding back. Still, she knew she’d tell them, not only because they would ask, but because they were her friends and they didn’t want her to be alone through this ordeal. For that fact, above all others she was thankful. With each new encounter, it was getting harder and harder for her to deal with situation on her own.