Northern Lights

by Michelle Cary

  * * *

  A lump had formed in her throat, preventing her from talking. She nodded, drew in a long breath and held it. Despite her shattered belongings, she wasn’t going to break down. Crying wouldn’t change anything.

  “Brooke?” Detective Morrison’s voice carried up the stairwell.

  She turned her head to see him ascend the steps, weapon drawn.

  He stopped next to her and scanned the room, his gaze finally settling on Nathan. “You her boss?”

  Nathan nodded and extended his hand to shake. “Nathan Lowery.” He motioned to the room behind him. “I already checked the place. There’s nobody here.”

  “Right.” He narrowed his eyes at Nathan. “Coming in here alone wasn’t the smartest thing to do Mr. Lowery. Not only did you potentially contaminate a crime scene, but if the perpetrator had still been here, you could’ve been injured.”

  “I apologize for mucking up your crime scene, Detective, but I’m not sorry for protecting Brooke.”

  The detective gave Nathan’s words a huff. “Well, my men will have another look around and see if we might be able to learn who did this.”

  Ten minutes passed while Brooke answered questions from an officer who barely looked old enough to drive, let alone carry a gun. Police milled about her place, picking through her belongings, searching for the one clue that might reveal who committed the crime.

  A second officer appeared at her bedroom door. “Um, Detective, I think you should see this.”

  Careful not to disturb anything, Brooke stepped over and around her belongings and followed Detective Morrison into her bedroom. Inside, dresser drawers now lay on their sides or upside down on the floor, clothing ripped from her closet had been strewn through the room and pictures lay smashed on the floor, but her bed remained intact, the comforter and sheets folded down, almost in invitation. One wilted red rose lay on the pillow with a note.

  Her stomach churned as she looked at the sight.

  With gloved hands, one of the officers picked up the note and slipped it into a clear plastic bag before handing it to Detective Morrison.

  He read the protected note, then handed it to Brooke.

  You destroyed my life by testifying. Now it’s my turn to destroy yours. I started with your apartment, but I left the bed intact because I need somewhere appropriate to end your life. You can run, Brooke, but I will find you.

  “Brooke?”

  She turned to find Nathan standing in the doorway.

  “He did this,” she whispered as a decade-old terror gripped her by the throat and threatened to cut off her oxygen.

  “Who did this?” Nathan asked, crossing to her.

  “My stepfather.” She drew in a ragged breath while anger warred with fear, mixing, churning inside her.

  Detective Morrison placed a hand on her forearm, garnering her attention. “I think it’s time we place you in protective custody.”

  “No!” She yanked free of the detective’s grip, then pulled away from Nathan, too, so she could face them both. “I don’t care how afraid I am. I’m not going to hide anymore.”

  “I think he’s right,” Nathan reached up to squeeze her shoulder.

  She shook her head and stepped out of his reach, determined to make them both understand. Despite being terrified of what might happen, she was done running. “I’ll be damned if I’m going to let that bastard come into my space and turn it upside down. I’ve spent too many years letting him control me and I’m finished being that seventeen-year-old cowering under the covers.

  “This time, I fight.”

  CHAPTER 13

  Nathan unlocked the door to his condo and motioned for Brooke to enter. On the ride over from her apartment, she’d barely uttered a sound except for the obligatory thank you when he opened the door. The argument that ensued at her apartment over where she would stay wasn’t one of his finer moments, but he’d be damned if he was going to stand by and let her stay, unprotected and alone in that dump she called an apartment. While it would have broken his heart to see her squirreled away in protective custody just as their relationship was finally starting to solidify, at least she’d have been safe.

  As it stood, with her being so adamant about standing her ground and fighting, he had little choice but to step up and take on her battle. Not that defending her was even a question. Without a doubt, he’d willingly lay his life down to protect her, but he also knew his limitations. While he would do his best to keep her safe, he knew the police could have done a better job.

  He set her bag down and turned to lock the door behind him. “Are you okay?” he asked, then winced at the stupidity of his question. Of course, she wasn’t all right.

  She nodded, but he noted how her arms remained crossed, as if she was trying to comfort herself. It rubbed his heart raw to see her so upset and he wanted more than anything to wrap her in his love and never let go. Her current stance had him thinking better of it. What she needed was space and time to process earlier events and, by God, no matter how much it frustrated him, he was going to give it to her.

  “Do you need anything?”

  “No. Thank you,” she whispered, her voice edgy and strained.

  God, this was killing him. The need to comfort her, to fight away all her fears pushed him forward. He took a step toward her only to watch her step back. “Brooke?”

  She held a shaky hand up. “Please don’t.” She shook her head. “I may have agreed to stay with you, but I can’t do this right now. I need some time. All I want to do is go to bed. I promise we’ll talk in the morning.”

  It nearly broke him to see her closing him out and he couldn’t help but feel a bit hurt by it. “Okay. Let me show you the guest room.”

  Two hours later, Nathan found himself lying in bed, staring into the darkness, with sleep completely evading him. He’d watched her take a sleeping pill before she’d told him goodnight and he could only hope it was working for her because there wasn’t any way he would sleep.

  His heart skipped a beat when Brooke’s agonizing scream broke the silence. He threw off the covers and raced for her bedroom. Had somebody broken in? Was she hurt in some way?

  He flung open the door and paused for only a moment while he took in the scene in front of him. Alone in bed, Brooke writhed beneath the covers, flailing her arms.

  “No, please,” she begged to who- or whatever held her hostage in her dream.

  Nathan skirted the bed. Careful to avoid her swinging fists, he eased down next to her. “Brooke.” He placed his hands on her shoulders and shook gently.

  She flung her head to the side, as if someone had struck her. A sob rushed past her lips, and Nathan’s heart cracked a little more. “Brooke.” He shook harder.

  Her eyes flew open and she screamed as she sat straight up in bed. Her arms were wild, swinging out, fighting him.

  “Brooke, baby, stop. You’re okay.”

  She paused, blinked several times and looked up at Nathan, wild-eyed. “Nathan?”

  “Yeah, honey, it’s me. You’re okay. Nobody’s trying to hurt you.”

  “I’m at your place,” she stated as if she couldn’t quite believe it.

  He brushed a thumb along her cheek, wiping away the tears. “That’s right. You’re in my guest room.”

  A sudden awareness fell over her and she grabbed his hand, pulling it away from her face. “I’m sorry I woke you.”

  No! Don’t shut me out. “It’s not a problem. Do you want to talk about it?”

  She shook her head.

  Please? “Brooke?”

  She gazed up at him. The wary and cautious look in her eyes hurt him. “If you don’t mind, I’d like to try and go back to sleep.”

  He stood up and stepped away from the bed. “I’ll leave my bedroom door open. If you change your mind, don’t hesitate to wake me, okay?”

  She nodded.

  “I mean it, Brooke.”

  “Okay. Good night, Nathan.”

  He closed her door and tu
rned toward his bedroom. Finding her in the middle of a nightmare so intense it made her scream tore him up inside. Having her put up her invisible walls as soon as she was fully awake drove him crazy. It was obvious she was suffering deeply, a tortured soul in need. He wanted to be the one to soothe her worried mind and drive her pain away. He couldn’t do that if she wouldn’t let him in.

  As he promised, he left his door open, stalked to his bed and dropped onto the mattress. Relegated to the sidelines for now, unable to help her, he hoped she’d change her mind and want to talk. His brow creased on that thought.

  Brooke hadn’t even told Willow and they were best friends. Yet, she’d entrusted him with her secret. That had to count for something.

  He rolled onto his side and tried to calm his racing mind. He could be reading more into Brooke’s motives than was there. After all, he’d pushed her into a corner and left her little choice but to tell him about her past. But she could have returned to Seattle instead and she didn’t. Was that because she trusted him or did fear dictate her decision? The lesser of the two evils? Unable to sleep or to fight his spinning mind, he gave up and allowed his thoughts to wander.

  Before long, an image of Casey settled behind his closed eyes and a small pain tugged on his chest. This January would mark ten years that she and the boys had been gone. It was a long time for anyone to mourn, but mourn he had. The first couple of years, his family and friends had been so supportive. Not once had they pushed him to move on. Each one of his brothers had taken turns staying with him, keeping vigil by his side through those first rough months.

  After a few years, the questions arose about when he was going to move on. Statements were made about how Casey wouldn’t want him to suffer like that. None of it made a difference to him. His heart had died that night with them and he was sure he’d never love anyone again…until now.

  What was it about the innocent little minx tucked away in his spare bedroom that twisted his stomach into knots? It was more than simply the need to protect her, though his instincts did run hot when it came to her safety. No, the feeling he got when he looked at her was more akin to way he’d felt when he’d first started dating Casey.

  What did that mean? Surely, he couldn’t be in love again.

  A soft knock permeated his conscious. He opened his eyes and found Brooke standing in the doorway. Silhouetted by the hallway light, her diminutive frame barely took up half the space of the doorway. He pulled himself into a sitting position against the headboard and reached to turn on a light.

  “Come in.”

  She took a tentative step into his room. Even with the distance between them, he could tell she was shaking.

  “I…” She worried her bottom lip between her teeth. “I was wondering if that invitation to talk was still open.”

  Nathan slid over to make room for her and patted the empty space he’d made on the bed. “Absolutely.”

  She crawled onto the bed and tucked her legs beneath her. “I’m sorry about earlier.”

  He shook his head. “I told you it wasn’t a problem. Please stop apologizing.”

  “No, I mean about shutting you out. It’s just…” She paused. “I’ve never been one to share my problems with others.”

  “Not even Willow?”

  She shook her head as she picked at the edge of the blanket.

  “Why not? She’s your best friend.”

  “Yeah, but she also likes to gossip, and I’ve always been afraid she’d tell everyone.”

  “So what if she did? What happened to you wasn’t your fault, Brooke. You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

  “I guess I’ve always been afraid everyone would treat me differently. I mean it’s bad enough I had to experience it, but to have my friends treat me differently because of it would be more than I could take.”

  “Believe it or not, I understand and I’m honored you feel you can trust me. Now do you want to tell me about your nightmare?”

  She shrugged. “It’s always the same. I dream that Wayne finds me and well…” She looked up at him and he swore she was about to cry. “I’m so tired, Nathan, so sick of him holding me hostage. I want to make it go away, but I don’t know how.”

  Nathan slid a hand over hers. “Do you trust me?”

  She paused for a moment, then nodded.

  He pulled the covers back, inviting her into his bed. Much to his surprise, she didn’t hesitate and crawled beneath the covers. She curled into a ball. “I hate this.” Her voice cracked. “I hate that ten years later I’m still as scared of him as I was that horrible night.”

  He tucked a stray hair behind her ear. “He’s put you through hell. Personally, I think you have good reason to be afraid.”

  She blinked, finally allowing tears to stream down her cheeks. “All I’ve ever wanted was to have a normal life. I’ve never had a boyfriend because I knew, eventually, he’d want sex. I know I’m being irrational and that it can be a beautiful act, but all I know is the violence and pain of it.”

  She turned into him and snuggled against his chest. “How can I ever truly be in love if I can’t get past the pain?”

  * * *

  Lingering just inside a dream, Brooke snuggled against the warmth that had made her feel safe enough sleep well for the first time in years. She burrowed closer, only to have a warm arm wrap around her.

  “Sweetheart, I’m trying very hard to be a good boy. Please stop before it kills me.” Nathan’s gravely, sleep heavy voice filled her ears.

  Slowly she opened her eyes and stared at the room. Much to her surprise, she didn’t have one of those where-am-I moments and was even more shocked by the fact she wasn’t the least bit uncomfortable wrapped in Nathan’s embrace.

  “Sorry.” She turned over and looked up at his heavy lidded eyes. His hair was wild this morning, disheveled from the pillow and a fair amount of tossing and turning, she figured.

  He smiled. “Good morning.”

  “Good morning.”

  “Did you sleep well?”

  She gave a languid stretch and took a moment to evaluate her current physical and mental state. “Actually, I think I did. I don’t know what it is about your bed, but I didn’t have any more of those dreams.”

  He lifted up on his elbow and looked down at her. “Does being with me make you feel safe?”

  “Yeah, I think it does. Actually, I’ve never slept with a man before.”

  He arched a brow. “Considering what you’ve been through, that’s not surprising.”

  She shook her head. “After that night, I never let anyone get close enough for our relationship to evolve that way. I have to say, I think I like it.”

  “Well, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like waking up with you in my arms.”

  She lifted a hand and gently trailed a finger along his jaw line. “And I’d be lying if I said I didn’t like waking up in your arms.”

  His expression changed, growing hot, and he turned into her touch when she cupped his cheek. She knew all too what could happen if she allowed it. Yet, for the first time in her life, that prospect wasn’t quite so scary. Nathan did something to her that no other man had been able to do since her father. He made her feel safe.

  His lips hovered mere millimeters above hers. She closed her eyes and lifted her head to bridge the distance. His soft lips closed over hers. The kiss was gentle, and barely there until he opened his mouth and drew her bottom lip between his teeth. His sucked on it, pulling a need from her she didn’t know existed.

  She lifted her arms, wrapping them around him, pulling him down to her. He went willingly. The warmth of his body pressed to hers seduced her, teasing her with hints of the pleasures only he could give her.

  Her nails grazed along his back, inciting a shudder from him. Inwardly, she grinned at the idea the she could have such an effect on him. Embolden by his reaction, she allowed her hands to trail downward along his back, raking her nails over his skin as she went.

  Propped on one elbow, hi
s other hand began to wander along her side, lightly brushing along her breast. Her breath caught as the instinct to pull away warred with the need to feel loved.

  His hand fell away and he pushed up onto his palms. “Did I frighten you?”

  The compassion in his voice, combined with the concern in his eyes, squelched her fears. How could she possibly be afraid of him when he only wanted to make her happy, to show her the best that making love had to offer? “No,” she murmured. “I’m just not used to being touched like that.”

  “Do you want me to stop?”

  Yes. “No. I want you to kiss me again.”

  His lips tipped into a grin as he lowered himself to her again. “We can take this as slow as you want, baby. I won’t deny I want to make love to you almost more than I want my next breath, but I will not push you into anything you’re not ready to do.”

  His declaration touched her heart and nearly caused her to cry. He really was the sweetest man on earth. “Thank you, Nathan. Now please kiss me again.”

  Her eyes fluttered, then closed when his lips covered hers a second time. The possessiveness of the kiss, the heat and hunger mixed to create a perfect storm of need. This time when his hand brushed along her breast, she tried not to flinch. She might not be ready for what he wanted to give her, but perhaps she’d never truly be ready. This moment had presented itself and despite her lingering issues, she’d be a fool not to at least try and take it.

  The shrill ring of the phone interrupted her thoughts just as Nathan pulled away uttering a few choice words under his breath. He twisted and looked at the clock. “Shit, it’s past ten. I was supposed to have a meeting with the guys at the lawyer’s office about the new boat purchase.” He raced from the bed and snagged the phone. “Hello? No, everything’s fine. I overslept is all. Right. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Go ahead with the meeting, and I’ll catch up when I get there.”