I toss my hands in the air. "Why did you tell him that?"
"Maybe she didn't like him," Matt says.
"She totally liked him," I say to Matt. "Look at her. She's blushing."
"I'm not blushing." Kira holds up her drink. "It's the alcohol. Always makes my cheeks pink."
"That's true. I forgot. So is Matt right? You didn't like him?"
"I liked him," she says. "He seemed nice. And he got me the table."
"But he's not your type," I say, trying to force her to give me an actual reason why she won't give this guy a chance. "You don't like how he looks. Is he too scrawny? You hate scrawny guys."
"He's not scrawny. He's tall. And really muscular."
A loud voice comes over the speaker. "Just an update for everyone. We're having an issue with the mic but we're getting a new one. The band will start shortly."
"So what's the deal?" I ask Kira. "Why won't you go out with him?"
"What's his name?" Matt asks.
I look at him, confused. "What difference does that make?"
"Sometimes girls are turned off by a name."
"That's not true." I turn to Kira. "Is it?"
"It could be true, but in this case it's not. I like his name."
"So what is it?"
"Austin. He didn't tell me his last name."
"You mean the guy in the band?" Matt asks Kira.
"What guy in the band?"
"The lead guitarist's name is Austin."
"Oh, um, no. It must be a different Austin. This guy didn't say he was in the band."
I turn to Matt. "Do you know what the Austin in the band looks like?"
"Yeah. So do you. He's that guy you and every other girl are always drooling over."
"You mean Austin Wheeler?"
"Yeah. The guy with all the muscles. I wonder how many hours a day he has to work out to look like that." Matt takes a swig of his drink.
"Okay, wait." I shake my head back and forth as I try to figure this out. "So Austin Wheeler's part of Vandyl? No, that's not right. He's in a different band but I can't remember the name."
"No, it's this one," Matt says. "I told you that the other night when I was telling you about the lead singer coming into the store."
I pause a moment, trying to remember what he told me that night. We were on the phone and I was working on my laptop while he talked so I didn't hear everything he said. I don't remember him mentioning Austin Wheeler but I know who Austin is. Everyone in Chicago does, especially girls. He's tall, has a great smile, and a body that's pure muscle.
Austin's the youngest of the Wheeler brothers. His three older brothers are also super hot. His brother, Jake, was even named Chicago's most eligible bachelor but he lost that title when he got a girlfriend. All the brothers have girlfriends, except for Austin, but practically every girl in Chicago wants to date him.
I whip back around to Kira. "Are you telling me that Austin Wheeler asked you out?"
"It's not him. He's not in the band."
"Tall?" I ask. "All muscle? Short dark hair? Gorgeous blue eyes? Around our age?"
"Austin!" a girl yells from up by the stage. She's right in front of the band, jumping around like a lunatic. She leans over to say something to her friend and I get a glimpse of the guy in front of her. It's Austin, standing there with a guitar, talking to some other guy as he messes with the mic.
I point at the stage. "Did you see him?"
"Yeah," Kira says. "That's him."
"Oh my God, are you serious?" I slam my hand on the table. "Austin Wheeler asked you out and you turned him down? You know how many girls are dying to go out with him? He's like the hottest guy in Chicago!"
"Hey," Matt says from behind me. "I'm right here."
I turn back and kiss him. "You're hot too."
"Yeah, thanks," he says, rolling his eyes and smiling.
"You are." I kiss him again. "I'm just trying to make a point here for Kira." I turn back to her. "Austin doesn't ask girls out. He doesn't have to, because girls ask HIM out. So the fact that he asked you out is a huge deal."
"Well, it doesn't matter. I don't go out with liars. He should've told me he was in the band."
The sound of a guitar rings through the speakers and Austin says, "Ready to rock this joint?"
Girls scream all at once and the ones up front are reaching out toward the guys in the band.
"For those who don't know," Austin says, "we're Vandyl. I'm Austin and I play lead guitar." Girls scream his name. "The guy on the drums is Van." More girls scream, this time for Van. "And our lead singer and bass player is Dylan." More screams as they yell Dylan's name.
Dylan. Of course. Just what I need right now. Another reminder of the night I'm trying so hard to forget. Is the universe trying to make this harder on me? Couldn't the guy's name be Bob or Joe or Curt? Anything would be better than Dylan, especially after I had that memory tonight. I'm still hot from that memory. I can't stop thinking about it.
"Ready boys?" Austin says.
The guys start playing and the crowd starts singing along. I can't actually see the band because the girls by the stage are dancing in front of it. I look over at Kira. She looks upset.
"Hey." I nudge her. "You all right?"
"Yeah, I'm fine."
"He's good, isn't he?" I ask, referring to Austin.
"I guess."
I smile and start moving to the music. These guys are really good. Now I get why this band is so popular. The music is good and the band members are hot, although I only saw Austin, but he's hot enough for the other two.
Matt's knee nudges mine under the table. I turn and see him smiling at me. He has a nice smile. He's a good-looking guy. I need to stop waiting to have sex with him and just do it.
He leans over to me and we kiss.
"Want another drink?" he asks, holding up his empty glass. "I'm going to get another."
"I'm good but let me ask Kira." I turn to her. "Want another drink? Matt's going back to the bar."
"No, I'm good."
"You sure?" Matt asks, getting up from his chair.
"Yeah. One's enough."
He takes off for the bar.
Looking back at Kira, I see her moving her head around trying to see Austin through the crowd of girls gathered by the stage.
I smile. "So what do you think? Hot, isn't he?"
"Who? Matt?"
"No! Austin."
"Yeah, he's hot. But I'm still not going out with him. And besides, they're all hot. Maybe I'll go out with the lead singer instead."
I turn to check him out. Just as I look, the girls lining the stage move enough where I can finally see him.
I freeze, my breath catching in my throat. No. It can't be. He's not part of Vandyl. The band he's in is...he never told me. He never told me the name.
My eyes are glued to him. That chiseled jaw. That dark brown hair. Those brooding eyes.
I grip the table, feeling like I might pass out. "Oh my God."
"What?" Kira leans toward me. "What's wrong?"
"I know him."
"Know who?"
"The lead singer." I rush the words out, feeling like I can't breathe.
"Dylan?"
"Yes! When they said Dylan, I didn't know it was THAT Dylan!" I look back at the bar where Matt is standing. He can't know about Dylan. And I can't let Dylan see me here.
"We have to go," I blurt out.
"Go? Go where?"
"Anywhere. We just have to get out of here."
"Why?"
"Because Dylan's here!" I yell at her. I didn't mean to yell but I'm panicking right now.
"I don't get it. How do you know him?"
I glance at Dylan, then back at Kira. "I slept with him."
"You what? When?"
"Last May. At a party."
"You never said you were dating anyone last May."
"We weren't dating."
"You had a one-night stand?" she asks, practically yelling over the music.
"Shh!" I check that Matt is still at the bar. "I'll tell you about it later. For now, we have to get out of here." I shove my chair back. "Unless you want to stay. I could come pick you up later."
"No. Let's go."
We meet up with Matt at the bar. He's still waiting in line to get drinks.
"I'm not feeling well." I tug on his arm. "We have to go."
"You're sick?" He looks confused because I was fine just minutes ago.
"It's my stomach. It came on really fast. I need to get home."
"Yeah, of course." He puts his arm around me and the three of us leave the bar. "Wait here. I'll be back in a minute."
He takes off, practically running to the car.
"Okay, explain yourself," Kira says as we wait by the building.
"Not here. Wait until we get home."
Matt's car pulls up and he gets out and opens the door for me. I feel bad making us leave and I feel even worse lying about it, but what was I supposed to tell him? That we left because I just saw the guy I had my first and only one-night stand with? The guy I can't stop thinking about? The guy who's the reason Matt and I still haven't had sex? The guy Matt waited on at the suit store who's the reason we're even here tonight? I can't tell him that. For one, it'd take all night to explain it, and two, it's best if he doesn't know. He doesn't need to. Dylan and I are over. It was one night. And now it's over.
When we get to my apartment, I tell Matt I need to rest. He insists on staying with me but I talk him out of it, telling him I really don't want him around me when I'm feeling like I might get sick at any moment.
Once he's gone, I stand by the door in shock, still not believing this happened. How did I not know Dylan was part of Vandyl? Last May, I tried looking him up online but I didn't know his last name so I didn't get very far. I should've researched local bands. If I had, I would've seen his photo with Vandyl and known he was part of it and never gone to the concert tonight.
"Since when do you have one-night stands?" Kira asks as she sits on the couch.
"I don't."
"You just said you did."
"Yes, but it was just one time and I'll never do it again."
"Then why'd you do it?"
I sigh, not wanting to tell her but knowing she won't give up until I do. "I was taking this speech class last spring, and this girl gave a speech about the psychology of fear and how the things you fear are often the things you really want to do. But you don't admit to it because you don't want the pressure of actually having to do it."
"Are you saying you secretly always wanted to have a one-night stand?"
"Yes. I mean, no, not really." I go sit next to her. "It was more like, I've always had this fantasy of meeting a guy who I have instant chemistry with, and then just acting on my desires and doing it. You know, like in the movies, when people meet and instantly want to rip each other's clothes off? That pure, undeniable passion that can't be controlled?"
"And you had that with Dylan?"
"Yes." I close my eyes, the memory replaying in my head. "I was at a house party just a few blocks from his campus. He came in the front door and I saw him across the room and our eyes locked, and it was like we just knew. He came over to me and asked my name. I could barely breathe my heart was beating so fast. That's how much I was attracted to him. And even though he's super hot, it was more than his looks. It was something else drawing me to him. He felt it too. He was looking at me the same way I was looking at him. And he was breathing just as hard as I was. Then, out of the blue, he kissed me."
"After you just met him?"
"I know, it's crazy. I didn't even know his name and he kissed me. But just once, and then he backed away, like he shouldn't have done it, but he didn't apologize. And I didn't want him to. I wanted more. So I grabbed his shirt and yanked him toward me and kissed him back. And then it's like we both knew there was no going back. We had to finish this."
"So you knew nothing about the guy, but you still had sex with him."
"I know it wasn't the best decision, but I kept hearing that girl's speech in my head, telling me to do something different. Something completely out of my comfort zone. Something I always wanted to do but was too afraid to."
"And you didn't question it? Like not at all?"
"Of course I did! You know me. I'm always cautious when it comes to that stuff. That's why I'm dating Matt. He's the safe choice. Nice. Dependable. Predictable."
"Okay, so you kissed him and then what? You went in a room?"
"We went upstairs, not sure what was going to happen. That's when I started questioning it, more out of safety concerns than anything else. But there was something about this guy. I felt safe with him. I'm not even sure why. It was just a gut feeling. Anyway, we ended up finding an open room and then he asked if I really wanted to do what we were about to do. He had this torn look on his face, like he wanted to but felt like he shouldn't. It made me want to do it all the more. I told him yes and then neither one of us hesitated from that point forward. Clothes went flying, and then the magic happened."
She laughs. "Magic? Seriously?"
I grab hold of her arm and look her in the eye. "Total magic. I'm not kidding. It was absolute perfection. Hot. Frantic. Pure passion. I'd never experienced anything like it."
She laughs again. "So it was good?"
"Good?" I let go of her and fall back on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. "Good doesn't even begin to describe it. And unlike most guys, he didn't run off when we were done. In fact, he didn't want me to leave so we just stayed there in that room, and that's when he started to tell me more about himself but I told him I didn't want to know. That it was just a one-time thing and that I'd just graduated and was moving to New York the next day."
"You lied to him?"
"I had to. I didn't want him trying to date me."
"Why not?" She yanks on my arm, forcing me to sit up. "You meet a guy you have instant chemistry with, you have amazing sex, and then you decide you never want to see him again?"
"Yes," I say simply.
She rolls her eyes. "You make no sense. This is just like when we had that homemade ice cream at the fair and then you refused to eat it again. I still don't understand that."
"Because it's never as good as the first time. I explained this to you a million times. When you experience pure perfection, like that ice cream, or sex with Dylan, experiencing it again will just ruin it. The second time is never as good as the first, and it just gets worse from there."
She shakes her head. "You're completely crazy."
"I'm not. You just haven't experienced what I'm talking about so you can't relate."
"Actually I can," she mutters. "And I'd do anything to experience it again."
She's talking about gymnastics and how she'll never compete again.
"Kira, I'm sorry."
I keep quiet to see if she wants to talk about it.
She leans back on the couch. "So you lied and told Dylan you were moving away and that you'd never see him again."
"Yes, but he didn't accept that. He wanted to see me again, or at least talk on the phone, but I wouldn't give him my number. I wanted him to remain a mystery. It was more romantic that way."
"Romantic? Never talking to him again is romantic? That's the worst happy ending I've ever heard."
"You don't understand. That night WAS our happy ending. It's something we'll always remember. At least I will. Dylan probably forgot about it. I'm sure he has one-night stands all the time."
"Now that you know who he is, you really don't want to see him again?"
"No. It would ruin the memory. Did you see how many girls were up there screaming his name? I don't want to remember him that way, with other girls hanging all over him. I want to remember him with me. Just the two of us, and the night we spent together."
"You spent the whole night with him?"
"Most of it. We fell asleep, and just as the sun was coming up, I snuck out."
"You left w
ithout saying goodbye? That's kind of mean."
"It's not mean. It's every guy's dream. He got sex and never has to see me again."
"But it sounds like he really wanted to see you again."
"He was probably just saying that to be nice." I shrug. "Doesn't matter. I'm not going to see him again. Besides, I've moved on. I have Matt now."
And it's true. I have Matt, a great guy who deserves a better girlfriend than one who keeps thinking about some other guy. From now on, I'm going to be that girlfriend. I'm going to stop thinking about Dylan and focus on Matt.
The problem is, seeing Dylan tonight only made me want him more.
Chapter Seven
October
Amber
"I'm sorry, but this just isn't working," I say to Matt, my voice shaking because I feel so bad about breaking up with him. He's been a great boyfriend. Taking me out to dinner. Buying me flowers. Calling when he says he will. But there's still no spark. No chemistry.
I've tried to create that chemistry. Candlelit dinners at my apartment. Sexy lingerie. Even a few bedroom toys. But nothing has worked. He just doesn't excite me. I still blame Dylan for that. After experiencing what I felt with Dylan, I can't help but compare that to my experience with Matt, which doesn't even come close to what I felt with Dylan. Now I'm worried it won't just be Matt, but that every guy I date won't compare to Dylan. My night with him might've ruined me for anyone else.
Matt sighs. "I get what you're saying. We're good as friends but...it seems like you're never really there when we're...you know, intimate."
"Yeah." I glance down at my hands. "I'm sorry about that. I really am. I tried, I just..."
"Amber." He puts his hand on mine. "You don't have to be sorry. If it's not there, it's not there. There's nothing wrong with that."
He's so understanding, so sweet, that I feel even worse about this.
I look up at him. "I still really like you. I know it's a total cliché to say we could still be friends, but I wish we could. I'm going to miss talking to you."
One Night Page 6
