Almost Free

by Lisa Helen Gray

  He opens the car door and I step in, grateful to be out of the rain so I can hear him better. I watch him walk around the front of the car, impressed by his physique and extremely good looks. It’s his eyes that captivate you to him, though, they’re a deep-set hazel colour, and with his thick, dark eyebrows, they stand out like a beacon. I’ve never seen eyes so mesmerising. And his smilehis smile is like sunshine; it brightens up your day. I drool and melt into a puddle every single time.

  It can be kind of annoying.

  “What time was you meant to be back?” I ask when he drops into the driver’s seat and starts up the car.

  He glances over at me, smiling, before pulling out into the road. “We were due back later tonight. It’s why I texted you yesterday about meeting up for breakfast.”

  “So, were they naked in bed together?”

  He chuckles, shaking his head at me. “No, they weren’t, thank god. I see enough of their junk in the showers,” he tells me dryly. “When do Mark and Levi get back from their holiday?”

  Banner hasn’t met Mark face-to-face, but Banner has been there when Mark Facetimed me during my recovery.

  “He actually texted me last night to say they were flying home tonight. Levi got food poisoning and just wants to come home.”

  Banner winces and pulls into a car park outside a row of factories. He points to the left, where a bunch of smaller buildings are, and says, “It’s just over there. And poor fucker. I remember the time I got food poisoning. We were in Spain and I think I was thirteen-fourteen. I spent eight days out of the fifteen in bed, vomiting. I just wanted to go home, too. At least there I had my PlayStation and a television that was in English.”

  I giggle. “I can see you missing your video games and TV shows.”

  We get out of the car, meeting each other around the front. He pulls me against him again, and I glance up at his side profile, wondering if he knows how much it affects me when he does stuff like this—like we’re a couple.

  “My mum spoiled me for weeks after I recovered,” he says, grinning down at me.

  I roll my eyes because his mum spoils him, anyway. She’s like no other mum I’ve ever met. She’s cool, funny, and so loving and protective it’s not even funny. His parents adore Banner and his sisters, Kacey and Louise.

  “Your mum spoils you, anyway,” I tell him, shoving my shoulder against his arm.

  He looks down at me, smirking. “Yeah, she does.”

  We step inside the cute little café they built into a newer building at the side of a factory. I look around and instantly relax. He was right, the place feels safe, secure, and not too many people sitting around to make me feel uncomfortable.

  He steers me over to an empty table and sits me down, taking the seat next to be as opposed to the one opposite.

  “Has your mum seen your new tattoo?” I ask him, picking up the menu.

  Banner is covered in tattoos. I’m surprised he found room for any more. He’s had them since he was sixteen and looked old enough to get them. His mum doesn’t even care, and the school only made him cover them with plasters.

  He looks down at the new semicolon on his thumb. He clears his throat, glancing back up at me, something in his eyes I can’t decipher. “She’s the one that helped me choose it.”

  “She helped you choose it?” I ask, taking his hand and getting a closer look.

  It just a simple, small tattoo. When we’ve spoken about them before, he’s told me at great length how each and every one meant something to him.

  “Yeah, she did.”

  “What made you get this one?” I ask, looking up at him through my lashes.

  He blinks, looking away for a split second. “Um, for you.”

  I sit back, puzzled. Did he get it because I write books? That’s kind of sweet. And permanent.

  “For me?”

  He rubs the back of his neck, shifting in his seat. “Yeah. For your story. You paused for a while before continuing your story, your life. You could have chosen to end it, but you didn’t. You knew you had more to say, to give. It represents those who are brave, those who fight every day to keep living. When I asked Mum what I should get, she sent me this. I couldn’t think of anything better to describe you. I’ve never met anyone who is as strong as you, has faced what you have and still pulled through,” he says, shrugging like he hasn’t just rocked my world.

  I blink back tears, feeling my throat close. There were moments, many of them, where I wanted to end it all, but when I tried, my sister’s face would flash behind my eyes and I couldn’t. I had to live for her, for myself. She might have killed herself, but she didn’t do it intentionally. She did a stupid thing and it took her life.

  I glance up from the tattoo and find myself lost in the depth of his hazel eyes. I can’t seem look away. He’s never gotten a tattoo for me before, but he’s done many things that have made me pause, take stock, and fall for him harder. Although, getting a tattoo to represent me beats everything else in comparison. It’s the sweetest, most thoughtful thing to do. And kind of romantic.

  I clear my throat and look away, breaking the spell he has me under. “I love it. Thank you.”

  “It’s nothing,” he says thickly.

  I wonder if one day I’ll ever have the courage to tell him how I feel, or if I’ll be too chicken shit to lose our friendship. Knowing my luck, by the time I do find the courage, he’ll be with someone else and I’ll never know if he feels the same way. I’m pretty positive he doesn’t, but he sends so many mixed signals, I can never tell. I used to be good at this stuff—boys. I could tell what they were thinking and if they were really into a girl or just wanted a quick lay. Now I’m so far out of my depth it’s not even funny.

  “So, there’s something I need to”

  “Banner, hey, you’re back from footy.”

  My hands automatically go under the table and into my lap, my fingers entwining around each other with nerves. The girl walking over to us is beautiful, stunningly so. She’s everything I’m not. I’ve not even met her and already I’m jealous. She’s confident, sexy, and has more chance to get with Banner than I do.

  I glance over at him to gauge his reaction. His jaw is clenched, seeming annoyed by her appearance.

  “Fi, how’s it going?”

  She bounces to a stop at our table, and for the first time I notice the apron around her waist and notepad in hand.

  “It’s going great. Dad made me work today. Someone called in sick. Did you want to meet up after I finish?” she asks sweetly, batting her lashes.

  I inwardly cringe, ducking down in my chair to make myself invisible.

  Why now? Why when I’m with him with no choice but to witness it? It’s humiliating.

  “I’m sorry, Fi, but I told you: I don’t any of my team’s exes.”

  She cocks her hip to the side, her smile forced now. “Nobody likes Alec after what he did to his ex-girlfriend. No one would judge you for going out with me.”

  Who is Alec and why have I never heard of him? He speaks of all his team mates so I’m not sure why he’s never mentioned him before.

  And she’s asked him out before and he’s said no? But she’s still trying? I don’t know whether to stare in awe or embarrassment.

  Awkward.

  “Look, I’m gonna be straight with you. You’re a sweet girl, but I’m really not interested. I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt your feelings.”

  Her eyes fill with tears, but she nods, her back straightening. “I can live with that. Thank you for being honest.” He gives her a small smile, his eyes flicking to me and wincing. She follows his line of sight and flinches. “I’m so sorry. Are you here on a date?”

  I shake my head, wanting her to calm down. She looks ready to bolt, and I need food. “No, you’re fine. We’re just friends.”

  Banner noticeably grimaces at the word, puzzling me, but I shake it off, not wanting to read too much into it.

  “Oh, good. But still, I’m sorry. I get
a little struck when I see hot guys. I forget about anyone else who is around. I’m truly sorry.”

  I smile at her bubbliness. I no longer hate her. She’s actually kind of refreshing and nothing like the girl I imagined she would be. And I thought she’d be shallow, big-headed, and stuck up. I guess you really shouldn’t judge a book by its cover.

  “It’s fine.”

  She inhales, putting her pen to her pad, and smiles brightly. “Right, I’m going to take your order then go cry to my dad about being rejected, then cry some more about doing it in front of a potential date. So, what can I get ya?”

  I giggle a little, but it turns into a laugh when Banner turns pale.

  “Let’s not talk to your dad about me, okay?”

  Fi turns to Banner and chuckles. “I’m joking. I’ll do that stuff privately. My dad would probably come out here and thank you for not going out with me. He doesn’t want me seeing boys.” She pauses, seeming to think of something. “Then again, he’ll probably go mad again for you not wanting to go out with me because you think there’s something wrong with me. Keeping it to myself seems like a good idea.”

  Banner relaxes in his chair. “That would be great.”

  “What can I get ya?”

  We both rattle off our order, then wait for her to leave before facing each other.

  “Okay, who is she and who is Alec? Why don’t I know about him?”

  He rubs the back of his neck before resting his forearms on the table, leaning in closer. “Did you read about what happened last year, around Halloween?”

  I did. I think the whole world did. Two lads from the university were raping girls and kept a record of it. When they were arrested, more girls came forward.

  “Yeah, why?”

  “The girl who got them arrested was best friends with one of the rapists, the one who raped her. Alec was actually going out with her when they started school. I’d met Alec before for trials and he seemed an okay lad. He cheated on her a few times—that I know of—but who am I to say something,” he tells me.

  I nod, trying to keep up. “Okay.”

  “Anyway, when she was raped, he accused her of cheating on him because of it being her best friend.”

  “And you don’t like him because of that?”

  Banner grits his teeth, leaning back in his chair. “No, I don’t like him because there was a picture going around of her and he spread it. Logan, the guy who raped her, was also on our team. Not many of us liked him, and the ones that did are no longer on the team as the school couldn’t prove they weren’t involved too. They filed a dispute and signed a petition to get him to play, causing trouble around the campus, so in the end, they got expelled. When Alex spread that shit, and we found out it was rape, and that Logan did it, we all stopped playing until they were dropped. Logan was pulled from the team straight away until the university investigated, but Alec got away with everything.”

  “He’s still on the team?” I ask, shocked, appalled they’d let someone like that play. Football around here is a big thing. People from all over come to watch them play. I remember when Banner first started. He got pumped because his captain got chosen to play for an actual league.

  He frowns, fiddling with the salt from the table. “Yeah. We tried to get him off the team, but without proof he sent some of those messages, there was nothing we could do.”

  “Couldn’t you show them the sent messages?”

  “No. Anyone decent deleted that shit straightaway. The ones who didn’t sure did after Liam Cole threatened retribution to anyone who had it.”

  “Who’s that?”

  “One of the best rugby players I’ve met. He’s also with the girl who was raped. I heard rumours that those who didn’t delete the picture found themselves with no money, their grades disappearing, and their application for housing next term declined.”

  I gasp, shocked and kind of impressed. Not that they didn’t deserve it; they did. “He did all that for his girlfriend?”

  Banner laughs. “No, his best friend, CJ, who is a computer whizz, did it. I’ve never actually met him, but others think he’s a god. They both are. They’re legendary around here.”

  “Impressive,” I whisper, still amazed someone had the brains to do all that and get away with it.

  I sit back when Fi walks over with our drinks and food, placing them down in front of us. When she leaves, I pick up my fork and face Banner.

  “Has everything been sorted with that? I mean, a girl was murdered.”

  He winces. “I’m not sure about the murder. But Logan and Jamie were arrested.”

  “That’s good.”

  He finishes chewing his food, swallowing. “Before we get side-tracked again, I wanted to ask you something.”

  I look up from my bacon. “Anything.”

  He clears his throat, pushing food around on his plate with his fork. “Since the whole Logan and Alex theatrics, Coach wants us to go on team building exercises. Our next one is unsupervised as it’s voluntary. But a few of us thought it would be good to go out there with some friends and make the most of a paid getaway.”

  “Okay,” I say, unsure of where this is going or what it has to do with me.

  “I was wondering if you wanted to come with me. It’s in a few months so you’ve got plenty of time. I just wanted to give you a heads up. I know you like to plan stuff out.”

  I’m not sure how good I’ll be around a group of people in an enclosed space. We’d be together, whether we sleep apart or not.

  “How many people are going?” I ask, not wanting to let him down.

  “With us, ten. The others think the whole team building is a joke, so they decided to do something else.”

  Ten people. That’s not so bad, and it would be stepping out of my comfort zone.

  Then an idea occurs to me. “If I go, then you have to do me a favour.”

  He grins, and his chest puffs out. “Anything.”

  “Lake is coming down in a few weeks with her boyfriend to meet me. Will you come with me?”

  He shakes his head at me, smiling. “I’d have done that anyway. How is she?”

  I smile, thinking of our last conversation. “Happy. Her parents and brother have just moved down to be close to her.”

  “I’ve not spoken to her mum in a while. I usually check in on Warren to see how he’s doing. I’ve not had time,” he says, looking guilty.

  Warren, Lake’s twin brother, was in a car crash the same night I was attacked. He wasn’t brain damaged, but his brain doesn’t function the way it should. It made him slower, and to others he seems like he’s in a kid-like state continuously, but he’s not. He can still learn, still remember; he just can’t do it the way we do.

  He and Banner were friends before Warren started withdrawing and taking drugs. He pushed everyone away, including his sister.

  I take his hand, squeezing it. “He’s fine—getting married. Lake said Marybeth is beautiful.”

  “No way. He and Marybeth are getting married?” He grins, his face filled with happiness.

  “Yep.”

  “Good for him. I’m happy for him.”

  “Maybe next time they come down she’ll bring him. I know he needs supervision, but I’m sure he’ll be fine with Lake. Her boyfriend… I’m not sure. From what she’s said he’s a little crazy,” I tell him, giggling.

  “She needs that. I bet the past couple of years haven’t been easy for her.”

  I sigh, looking down at my half-eaten food. “No, it hasn’t. I’m just glad she’s back. I’ve missed her.”

  “Not as much as she’s missed you, I bet.”

  I look up, titling my head to the side. “What makes you say that?”

  “Because I only came to school and I missed you. At least I got to speak to you. She didn’t.”

  I blush, ducking my head. He always knows how to make me swoon.

  “Maybe,” I whisper, then clear my throat and change the subject. “Now, tell me more about your trip. I w
ant to hear everything.”

  I rest my fork down, crossing my arms on the table, and listen to him talk, trying not to fantasise about his lips on mine.

  When it comes to George Banner, I’m totally screwed. Because every time his mouth forms a word or puckers, a tiny sigh escapes my lips.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Being away from my parents’ overbearing and constant snide remarks has already made a difference in my life.

  When Mark and Levi got back from holiday a week ago, I spent the first couple of days walking around on eggshells, waiting for the other shoe to drop. But they never made me feel like I was in the way, an inconvenience, or yelled at me once for getting up for a drink in the middle of the night and waking them up. The night in question, Levi actually stayed and had a cup of tea with me and chatted. He didn’t scream at me for being selfish and waking him up; he didn’t wish I was dead before storming off.

  I think it took that moment for me to realise I wasn’t going to be subject to my parents’ verbal abuse again.

  It felt freeing.

  “Lover boy’s here,” Mark yells through the flat.

  I groan, knowing Banner had to have heard that through the door. I hear the front door open and deep mumbling sounds start up in the living room. I dread to think what Mark is saying to him.

  Not wanting Mark to embarrass me any further, I grab my coat and school bag before heading out of my room.

  My room, which Mark has turned into my new favourite place. I went to my first night class last Wednesday and came back to my room having been redecorated with brand new furniture.

  My grandparents had much to play in it, but it was Mark, Levi and Banner who did all the grunt work.

  I have a large round chair that is so snuggly when you sink into it, I never want to leave. They know how much I hate writing at a desk. It makes me feel like my writing is a job, a chore, and not the release and hobby it’s become. Knowing that, they went out and got me a chair I could lie back in. It’s so huge my legs can straighten in front of me and only my feet will dangle over the edge.