Rock and a Hard Place

by Angie Stanton

  “Please, you have to help me. I’ve talked to people in Milwaukee, at the Department of Family Services, Child Welfare and the foster system. No one will tell me anything. I didn’t know where else to call.”

  His desperation touched her. He was obviously distraught and had exhausted all his options.

  “I’d like to help you, I truly would. Libby was a special student to me, but you seem to already know as much as I do. The only people they’ll release information to are her parents or guardians.”

  She heard his defeated exhale. “You aren’t family, are you?” she asked.

  “No,” his weary voice answered. “I’m her boyfriend.”

  Julie sat up and leaned closer to the phone.

  “What is your name?” she asked, stunned to learn that Libby truly did have a boyfriend.

  “Peter. Peter Jamieson.”

  Julie nearly dropped the phone. “Oh God.”

  “Excuse me?” He asked politely.

  “Libby told me about you.” Guilt overwhelmed her. “You wouldn’t happen to be . . .”

  “In a band? Yeah.”

  “Oh shit.” She dropped her head forward, while grasping the phone against her ear.

  He laughed. “Is that a bad thing?”

  “No, I’m so sorry.” Julie couldn’t believe this. “Libby told me about you a few times, but I didn’t believe her. Her situation is . . . unusual. I was convinced she dreamt you up.”

  “Yeah, we aren’t the most obvious couple. Listen, I really need to know if she’s okay. Do you know where her dad is? Did they find him? Is she with him?”

  “No, they haven’t been able to locate him. I wish they had, I’m sure he’d be worried sick. Since you know she’s been put in the system already, I’m not breaking any rules. But that’s all I know. I’m sure she’s doing fine. It’s got to be better than where she was at.” Julie hoped she spoke the truth. “I wish I could help, I really do. I have no authority to locate her. My hands are tied. There’s just no way I can to get access to her records.”

  A heavy silence weighed between them, his despair palpable.

  “Listen, sometimes we get information, or a student comes back. Libby and I had a bit of connection. It’s possible she might contact me some time. If she does, I can have her get a hold of you. Or if I hear any news, I can let you know.” She hoped this would at least lessen his pain.

  “That would be awesome. Thank you. You don’t know how great that is to hear.”

  “Well, it’s a long shot, I may never hear from her.”

  “But you might, and it’s the best news I’ve heard in weeks.” He gave her his cell number and their manager’s office number too. “We’re on our European tour, so I might not get your call. But leave a message, it’ll catch up to me. Miss Orman, I can’t thank you enough.”

  His spirits seemed much improved and that cheered her as well. At least one other person out there supported Libby.

  “No problem, I’m happy to do anything I can to help her.”

  The school bell rang ending the class period.

  “I’ve got go, but Peter, thanks for calling and good luck on your tour.”

  “Thanks.”

  Julie gently placed the phone back in the cradle and walked into the main office. “You aren’t going to believe this,” she said to the secretary.

  # # #

  The sound check dragged on. Peter sat on a stool mid-stage waiting as the engineers made adjustments. Each minute felt like an hour. He glanced up and noticed Adam and Garrett gesturing back and forth. When they noticed him watching, both froze.

  “What?” Peter asked irritated.

  “Nothing,” Garrett said.

  “We have something to show you,” Adam confessed. “But we don’t want to upset you.”

  “What are you talking about?” he asked.

  “You’ve been about to rip our heads off the past week,” Adam answered.

  “Yeah, well. Sorry,” Peter said, not meaning it. “Can we do it later?”

  “No, we can’t,” Garrett stated, impatient. He spoke into his mic, “Hey Brian, play that video now, will ya?”

  Peter saw concern in both his brothers eyes, as they watched him. Each held an acoustic guitar.

  The lights in the arena dimmed. Garrett and Adam started to play.

  An image of Libby, larger than life, filled the giant screens on each side of the stage. A smile lit her beautiful face, her blue eyes sparkled. Next came a picture of them talking, heads close as if sharing a secret. At first confused, as he’d never seen the pictures before, Peter realized Adam’s voyeuristic ways with his camera finally paid off. A few seconds later another image appeared, this time of him and Libby sitting on the large boulder at Parfrey’s Glen. Her long blonde hair blew in the breeze. Light freckles sprinkled her cheeks and a look of utter contentment shown on her face.

  Transfixed, Peter moved across the stage for a direct view, never taking his eyes off the screen. Photo after photo appeared before him. Many showed the two of them together laughing, all with the beautiful backdrop of Parfrey’s Glen.

  As the images continued to materialize across the screen, his brothers played an achingly familiar tune. The song he wrote for Libby. “Angel Kisses.”

  Peter released a breath. He must have been holding it for days. This was their tribute to her, for him. Garrett and Adam never understood how much he cared about her until she was torn away.

  When the song ended, a final photo filled the screen of the two of them walking through a field at the nature preserve. Her hand held firmly in his, she looked up at him with total trust and admiration. Every emotion was revealed on her face. She gazed adoringly, her love pouring out.

  He missed her with every ounce of his soul, but now he had a bit of her back. Her image remained on the screen after the music ended.

  Adam stepped next to him. “I thought you might like this. We could play your song with this video playing in the background.”

  Garrett stepped beside him and placed a firm hand on his shoulder. “I’ve been a jerk and I realize I was wrong. I didn’t realize how much she meant to you. I guess I was a jealous of how close you two were. I took her away from you and that was wrong. Here’s a little bit of her back. It might give you a reason to want to sing again.” Garrett’s eyes searched Peter’s. Peter saw the heartfelt remorse from his brother, he nodded his forgiveness.

  Peter folded his arms across his chest, one hand covering his face. He hoped he could hold the emotions in, but failed.

  “Yeah, I’d like that,” his voice cracked. Maybe his brothers weren’t so bad after all.

  # # #

  Libby tried to cry for help, but didn’t get a chance. Juanita grabbed her by the hair and slammed her face against the wall. Then she grabbed her arm and twisted it behind her back, causing a piercing pain to shoot up Libby’s arm and shoulder. Juanita shoved her against the sandy textured paint, scraping her face raw.

  “Listen bitch, don’t you ever cross me again. If you say one more word to Scott about me, I’ll break your fuckin’ arm.”

  Libby didn’t doubt it for a moment. Paralyzed with pain she tried not to breathe. She prayed for Juanita to release her. The girl was crazy. She bit back her tears.

  “And when I say something’s mine, you just shut your whiny little trap and mind your own business.”

  Thankfully, Libby saw Scott, their twenty-three year old ‘adult in charge,’ walk around the corner, surprised. He rushed over.

  “Juanita, what are you doing? Let go of her.”

  “Just having a little chat here. Libby had a crick in her back and I’m trying to straighten her out.” Her vise-like grip tightened.

  “Let her go. Right now!” His raised voice brought Darnell and BJ from the kitchen.

  “Shit girl, whad ya do to piss off the Latina lunatic?” Darnell chewed on a Pop Tart as he spoke.

  BJ looked on, a satisfied smirk on his big dumb face.

  “Feeling better
now?” Juanita asked getting up in Libby’s face.

  “Yeah.” She responded through clenched teeth. “Great.”

  “Juanita, I said now!” Scott yelled.

  Juanita stuck her elbow in Libby’s back before releasing her. “Anytime you need a little adjustment, let me know.”

  Libby leaned against the wall for support, unable to bear the pain of straightening her arm. Slowly she relaxed enough for the limb to fall useless at her side. With her other hand she pushed away from the wall, her cheek aching and bruised, the wall marred with streaks of blood.

  “Juanita, you’re killing me here. I thought you weren’t going to allow your temper to get out of control,” Scott said, this situation beyond his limited skill set.

  “Yeah, well, it sneaks out once in a while. I’m sorry, it’ll never happen again.”

  “You’re right about that.” Scott said, shaking his head at her.

  “Damn chica! You goin back to juvie. It’s three strikes and you’re out. Well you’re out baby.” Darnell taunted, happy as a clam.

  “I’m afraid he’s right,” Scott wrung his hands. “I’ve got to call this in.”

  “Yeah, what the fuck?” Juanita spat at Scott. “You’re such a pussy. You need to grow some.”

  “Juanita go sit in the kitchen while I handle this. BJ please stay with her while I talk to Libby.”

  Scott checked Libby for injuries and congratulated her for trying to get a peaceful resolution. Apparently not fighting back or defending yourself qualified as good behavior. He told her to shower and clean off the sand and paint ground into her face. Today she could go in to school late. Yippee. She was sick and tired of being pushed around.

  After her shower, she gave a report to the police about Juanita stealing her Jamieson CD. Narking seemed like a lame reason to be pummeled against a wall, but the CD was one of the few belongings she had left that tied her to Peter. She refused to put up with Juanita’s constant bullying anymore.

  In fact, she was done taking everybody’s crap. She’d spent nearly two years doing what everyone else told her to. She’d been the model orphan child. No more! She’d been lied to, misled, and manipulated. There was no one left who cared about her; they’d all left or been taken away. Feeling sorry for herself wouldn’t help either. It was time to stand up for herself and move forward, not cower in submission as other people made bad decisions for her.

  Today this madness stopped. She refused to sit in this crappy house and get bullied and beat up. She’d been afraid for so long. That ended today. She decided to take back her life. Sink or swim, she’d do it on her own. She knew she could.

  The decision made, Libby moved through her room with purpose. She dumped the schoolbooks and papers out of her backpack and kicked them under the bed. She went to the dresser and surveyed the contents. She grabbed a pair of jeans, three warm tops, a couple pair of socks and underwear, an extra bra. Then she pulled a thick sweatshirt over the one she already wore. She dropped her makeup bag into the backpack, then pulled it back out. It took up too much space. She opened the bag, grabbed blush and mascara, dropped them into the pack and left the rest on the dresser.

  She cushioned the picture of her family by wrapping it inside a t-shirt and then placed it in the middle of the pack. She moved around the room, scanning each item for something she might need in her future life. Nothing.

  Her eyes settled on her narrow bed. Without pause, she went to the far side and reached deep between the mattress and box spring. She pulled out a bank envelope full of money she stashed from her job. She counted one hundred and fifty-three dollars, not nearly enough. She stuffed the cash in her back pocket. She opened the closet and examined the contents, a few shirts, several pair of shoes and the dress from homecoming that Miss Orman refused to take back. She left it all. She needed nothing from this place.

  She looked at Juanita’s side of the room. Clothes littered the floor and the bed was unmade. She hesitated only a moment, then moved to the dresser and worked her way, drawer by drawer.

  Bingo!

  Inside the second drawer, lay her Jamieson CD in its cracked case; she tucked it in her bag. In the next drawer she found an empty cigarette container, inside of which she discovered a thick wad of bills and a couple of joints. She dumped the filthy drugs into the drawer and scanned the bills, a couple hundred dollars. She thought twice about taking the loot, but figured Juanita probably stole it to begin with, or earned it selling drugs. It made sense that dirty money would help her now.

  Satisfied, she checked the hall. She heard Scott on the phone in the kitchen. Libby stepped quietly to the front door and grabbed his warm gloves off the table. She needed these more than he did.

  She exited the front door, pulling it quietly shut. She stood on the front porch and took one long deep breath. Libby Sawyer was finished, dead to her. She walked away from the house and never looked back.

  My life begins, today.

  Chapter 20

  The spectacular view of Paris from the Eiffel Tower was wasted on Peter. The opportunities the band enjoyed were unheard of. They were far from their Pennsylvania childhood. He wandered the world-class restaurant, surrounded by affluent people and checked his phone again.

  One message.

  He punched in his password, hoping this time to hear Libby on the other end. Each message became pure agony as he failed to find her cheery voice.

  “Hi Peter, this is Julie Orman from Rockville High School. Please call me immediately.”

  He held his breath, hopeful. Perhaps this was the call he’d been waiting for, that she’d found Libby. Finally, he felt hope. He checked his watch, calculated the time difference and dialed the number. He moved to the bank of windows on the side of the elegant room, away from the crowd. “Pick up, pick up,” he said to himself as he gazed out at the stunning skyline.

  “Hello, Julie Orman speaking.”

  “Hi Miss Orman, this is Peter Jamieson, I just got your message. Did you find her?”

  He heard her sigh. “Hi Peter, I’m afraid I have some bad news. I wanted to get a hold of you right away.”

  “Tell me, please.” His chest tightened as he braced himself, praying she was wrong and that it was good news. That Libby returned to school and waited for him.

  “Child Welfare Services contacted me this afternoon. They placed Libby in a group home and not with a foster family as we thought.” Her voice sounded sad. “I’m sorry to tell you this, but she ran away ten days ago, and there’s been no sign of her since.”

  “Why would she do that? Are you sure?”

  Miss Orman paused a moment and cleared her throat. “There was an altercation with another girl and Libby got hurt.”

  A silent void occupied the phone line. Peter raised his eyes to the stars that shone above Paris, but only despair rained down on him.

  “Is she hurt bad? Do they know where she went?” His voice became a whisper as he digested the news.

  “I wish I had some answers for you. The authorities are looking, but Libby’s disappeared, she doesn’t want to be found. If she contacts you, please let her know I’m here and want to help.”

  “She doesn’t have my new number. She doesn’t even know how to reach me.” Peter’s heart dropped. “Do you think they’ll find her?” His mind began to reel. Too many possibilities. Too many unanswered questions.

  “She’s fallen off the radar. They’ve all but given up. She hasn’t shown up in her old neighborhood in Michigan, there is no sign of her here in Rockville. I don’t know what to do.” Miss Orman’s voice heavy with emotion. “I pray she’s okay. I’m so sorry. I feel I let her down.”

  Silence hung between them as they both felt responsible.

  “I know, me too. Thank you for calling, I’ve got to hang up,” he said before he broke down. He slid the phone closed. Around him the room buzzed with excitement. The sound became a static white noise in his ears. He saw, but heard nothing. Libby was gone. There was no way to find her. How had life
gone from perfect to this nightmare he couldn’t wake up from.

  Garrett and Adam walked over.

  “Pete, what’s up?” Garrett said.

  He looked up from his stupor. “Nothing. Nothing at all.”

  The other two exchanged a worried glance. He knew they’d been growing more concerned about him.

  “At least nothing you care about.” Peter looked around the room filled with happy friends and colleagues. “I gotta get outta here.” Despair filled his eyes as he searched for the closest exit and took it.

  Garrett nodded to Adam. “You better get Mom. It’s gotta be about Libby.”

  Adam took off, darting through the crowd of VIP attendees who sipped their cocktails oblivious to the crisis. Garrett went after Peter. “Pete, wait up!”

  Peter stopped and turned around. They stood in the staging area of the restaurant kitchen. Around them a busy staff of waiters and chefs looked up from their work, surprised to see the superstar guests of honor in their kitchen.

  “Is everything okay?” He searched Peter’s face

  Peter offered nothing.

  “Come on, dude, what’s going on? What was that phone call about? Is it Libby?”

  “Yeah, it was about Libby.” Peter stood, with his hands deep in his pockets, his voice heavy with emotion.

  Their mother entered the kitchen, and rushed over. “What happened?”

  “She’s gone,” he whispered.

  “Peter, everything is going to be okay.” His mother tried to soothe him.

  “No, it’s not okay. It’s never going to be okay. Don’t you get it? She’s gone. She ran away. No one can find her. Libby’s hiding and the authorities don’t care. She’s already become a statistic.” Garrett, Adam and his mother looked at each other, obviously unsure what to say or do.

  “She’s out there alone and she has nothing!” He screamed, fisting his hands in the air, silencing everyone. “I was all she had. Just me. I was it.” He spoke to no one in particular, his body tense, a sheen of perspiration on his brow. “Everyone in her life has let her down and now you can add my name to this list.”