The Pink Heist

by Adam El Shalakany

  He waited in the queue as the line wormed its way towards the front. Mr. Qruise was finally treated by a nice barista with a bright, flashing smile.

  "What can I get you, sir?" she asked politely.

  Mr. Qruise looked up at the menu written in chalk above the counter. Hundreds of types of beverages were listed in a cursive style of 'versal which he couldn't read. "Do you guys do regular coffee?"

  "A traditionalist, I like it. Course we do, sir. Sugar with that? No. Alright. Would you like anything else?"

  Mr. Qruise shook his head, smiling. The scent of the place smelled right. It was the honest to goodness smell of a proper roast. He was just beginning to think how he deserved a break and a place to put his feet up and how real and comfortable this virtual world was, when the young barista rung up his order.

  "That'll be ten credits, sir." She said.

  Mr. Qruise hesitated. "Oh. Yes, of course. You use money in here. Wow, it's been a while since… well." At that Mr. Qruise inspected the clothes he'd been incarnated in. He was dressed in a white sleeved vest of tightly bound silk, and loose fitting cotton trousers. There weren't any pockets. "Umm…. This is awkward. This is my first time in the game and -"

  "Oh you're new here? No problem, sir. Every new gamer gets a few days credit free, in order to get oriented." The barista winked at him knowingly. "Don't forget to get a job from the ministry otherwise, you know, they'll re-cycle you. A place for everyone and everyone in their place as the Premier teaches." She rung up the order.

  "Oh, yes. Yes. Of course. Speaking of which. Do you know where I can find the 'Rebellion'?"

  The barista pulled back from the credit register and looked around anxiously before leaning in and whispering. "Oh no, sir. We're an honest hard working establishment here. We don't have any dealings with the," she looked around the cafe once more, "Rebellion." Then satisfied she stood up straight and said loudly, "You can pick your coffee up from the counter over there. Welcome to the city state of Woshu and have a good day."

  A moment later the coffee was ready and the same barista handed it to him in a paper cup. Mr. Qruise took his coffee and sat by the window. He placed his legs on the table in front of him and closed his eyes, leaning back on his chair, comfortable and relaxed. He opened one eye to peer outside the window at the view. The suns cast a purple hue over the city as night set in. Stars began to twinkle overhead, large diamonds adorned the sky. He sipped at his coffee slowly, 'ah'ing after every gulp. The coffee tasted good and real.

  Halfway through his cup, a small, oriental looking woman dressed in a colorful flowery dress shuffled up to his table and sat in front of him, placing a small glass of tea on the table. Mr. Qruise opened his eyes to look at the interrupting stranger but didn't take his legs off the table.

  "Hello, Mr. Qruise." The small woman said.

  Mr. Qruise stared at her silently before figuring it out for himself. "Mancy? Shens you look different in here. It took you a while to find me. A man could get used to this. No bombs in his brain, no suicide missions. Just a good old cup of regular coffee," he raised his glass, "and a sunset, and no surprises."

  "I'm Zenbot, Mr. Qruise." The small woman said.

  Mr. Qruise fell off his chair, his coffee spilled over the ground. "Zenbot? But you're, you're…."

  "A human." Zenbot took a sip of tea, nodding to Mr. Qruise as he got off the ground. "I find it educating to simulate biological thought. Your bodies' capacity for pain has meaning. That fall looked like it hurt. Are you alright?"

  "Yes, human, and…. Well… a woman? And so tiny. I…thought. It just doesn't seem like you."

  "Why would you assume I'd want to be a man? One body is as good as another, even better than the other I would say." Zenbot extended her arms and admired herself. "Besides the martial arts do not depend on brute force and the energy generated within. Some practitioners believe so but I don't. It's about the manipulation of energy around you." Zenbot raised a finger, her small eyes lighting up. "This I believe will be the first lesson I will teach you on our path. To start manipulating the energy around us, you must first observe the world around you. Have you observed anything out of place, Mr. Qruise?"

  Mr. Qruise looked around the cafe and the people going about mundane lives in a virtual world filled with endless potential wonder. All of it struck him as out of place, but it didn't seem to him that that was what Zenbot was talking about. He kept looking around the cafe and out of the window until Zenbot put him out of his misery.

  "Your cup, Mr. Qruise. Your cup."

  Mr. Qruise inspected the cup and found a small note scribbled on the side in black marker.

  "The Owl Flies at Midnight"

  "The first lesson on observance of the flows of energy begins now." Zenbot placed her tea on the table and stood up stretching, bending over and extending her arms behind her back.

  Mr. Qruise's mouth fell open as he stared at the scribbled note. "Fu….-" But Mr. Qruise never got to finish that thought. The windows imploded as a squad of heavily clad soldiers broke into the coffee shop. They were armed with fancy looking guns and decked out in black carbon armor. There was even a laser saber or two flashing around in green and red, making those telltale but useless 'whoosh, whoosh' sounds.

  Mancy was dressed in a pink trench coat. Epaulets shone brightly on each shoulder as she walked through a corridor on the top floor of the Central Intelligence Building located in Woshu's downtown area. A retinue of officers clad in black leather coats trailed behind her. A menacing boot step sounded in her wake. Mancy's pink hair was cropped short. An officer's cap lay tilted on one side of her head, a button of a clenched fist emblazoned on the cap's front.

  Mancy spoke to one of the officers in her retinue. "Officer Loveless."

  A smart female officer with long blond hair clicked her heels in attention. "Yes Ober-Kaptain?" Mancy didn't stop walking and Loveless ran to catch up to her.

  "What news of the search for VII?" Mancy asked.

  "None as of yet, sir." Loveless said, keeping pace with Mancy. "There is news of a small skirmish in the middle of the city. At the Kafe Fabuleuze, it's a small coffee shop, downtown, not so far from here. The Rebellion attacked the establishment for some reason. We believe the other two you asked us to keep an eye out for may have been there."

  "How so?"

  Loveless handed Mancy a folder. "Our intelligence report says that an awkward looking fellow entered the cafe. A newcomer to the Game just like you were looking for. The coffee shop's billing information shows he was given a visitor pay exemption. Said fellow was then met by a small woman of oriental descent."

  "Yes."

  "The cafe was attacked by a group of twenty heavily armed personnel, belonging to the Rebellion, a few moments later. The woman of interest, five foot one, disabled them all in under a minute."

  "Disabled?"

  "Yes, bones broken, concussions, bound, tied and gagged, but all repairable and done with the least amount of pain inflicted. None were killed."

  "Yes, that's Zenbot then. And the other?"

  Loveless stopped to make a note on the other folder in her hand, scribbling the word Zenbot on one file, before catching up with Mancy once again. "The other sat staring stupidly according to the reports, he kept snapping his fingers for some reason. Eyewitnesses are clear about that. They thought the interface bots may have damaged his cerebral cortex. Recommended for re-cycling."

  "No, no, that's Mr. Qruise, that's how he is. No re-cycling necessary. What's the information on their whereabouts now?"

  "Unknown, sir."

  "Unknown?" Mancy stopped to look Loveless in the eye. Loveless who'd been running to catch up bumped into Mancy. "Zenbot took out a whole squad of the Rebellion and was able to walk away un-surveilled?"

  "Yes. The asian woman, Zenbot, dragged the Rebellion's squad sergeant and the brain damaged Mr. Qruise," Loveless made another note beneath a picture of Mr. Qruise, "out of the cafe before our forces arrived. We were unable to track them. We'
re bringing down the camera footage as we speak. We'll try to track their trail, sir, but it all happened too quickly for us to respond in time. It's no fault of our men. I…I assure you." Loveless shuddered under Mancy's gaze. Even though Loveless's frame was larger and more muscular, Mancy's unflinching gaze and way of standing, which took up the whole room, intimidated the officer. Loveless's full bodied lips and green eyes twitched beneath her commander's eyes.

  "No matter." Mancy resumed walking down the corridor. "VII remains our highest priority, Loveless. The search for Mr. Qruise and Zenbot is secondary. Should any new information arise, contact me immediately. Understood?"

  "Understood. Sir?"

  "Yes, Loveless."

  "Why the search for VII? Surely Bonecrusher and Skyburner are more important targets, as the leaders of the Rebellion?"

  Mancy stopped in her tracks once more. Loveless didn't bump into her this time. Mancy sighed and inspected her fingernails, "Loveless, are you questioning my orders?" Mancy buffed one fingernail, the pink nail coloring had gotten scratched.

  "No. Of course not, Ober-kaptain. The search for VII is top priority." Loveless bowed in acquiescence. "Ober-kaptain, what should we do with the Rebellion prisoners from the cafe?"

  "Interrogate them and then put a bullet in each of their heads. Let them go and administer MO4 for a while. Dismissed everyone." She entered her office, closing the door behind her.

  "You know Zenbot I still don't understand your interpretation of pacifism." Mr. Qruise said.

  He and Zenbot, with the captured squad sergeant over her shoulders, were in a large abandoned warehouse on the outskirts of Woshu. The warehouse was a large empty space with shuttered windows.

  "What do you not understand Mr. Qruise?" Zenbot placed the hostage on the ground.

  "For a pacifist you unleashed a hell of a lot of violence back there." Mr. Qruise sat down and began massaging his feet.

  "Yes." Zenbot bent down and undid the bindings on the hostage's hands.

  "I thought pacifism was against violence in general. It's not just not killing and all that. I mean you're for peace. It's in the name after all."

  "Yes. I act to reduce violence and pain wherever I can. I don't kill. Back there violence was inevitable so I had no choice but to choose the lesser of two evils. I assure you, the least pain was implemented. Let's ask our friend here." With that Zenbot gave the prostate hostage a nudge with her small feet. "Sergeant Freedman, are you hurt?"

  Freedman rubbed at his thick neck and then at the back of his head, below his buzzcut albino white hair. "Well otha' than my pride, no ma'am. Just a few bruises here and there." He massaged his bruised square set jaw. "My Shen, but I've neva' seen such a fury. You'd make an excellent addition to the Rebellion, ma'am, if I may say so myself. You ever thought of joining?"

  Zenbot stretched. "No, Sergeant Freedman. I have no need for your games. We're here on a mission to find VII. She's needed outside of Woshu. Do you know where we can find her?"

  "No ma'am I'm sorry. But by the Shens it would be my honor to help a woman of your caliber anyway I can. I can take you to my headquarters maybe they'll know there. We're a furtive bunch in general and VII likes to operate from the shadows the most. I'm sho' I can help somehow. I'd like to anyhow."

  "What are you talking about, Zenbot?" Mr. Qruise was staring at the two in front of him in disbelief as Zenbot undid the rest of Freedman's bindings. "You can't trust this man. You've just beat him and his entire crew to a pulp."

  "We'll see Mr. Qruise. We'll see." Zenbot closed her eyes in thought. "It's decided. I'll go with the sergeant. But first Freedman, please sit down. My pupil," she looked at Mr. Qruise, "will make a quick tea and then I'll give him some exercises before leaving. We can't waste all of our time in here after all." She eyed the world around her suspiciously, "He has to learn something whenever I have the opportunity to teach. Tea please, Mr. Qruise." She sat down cross legged in the middle of the warehouse.

  Freedman emulated his new hero, crossing his legs as Zenbot did, though his thick ropy arms and legs couldn't bend fully into the lotus position.

  "What, me make tea? Are you mad? Now don't go getting high ideas, 'ZenBob'. Mancy isn't here and I'm sure as hell not your pupil." Mr. Qruise tapped a finger on Zenbot's chest.

  Zenbot grabbed Mr. Qruise's wrist and jumped over him landing behind his back twisting his arm. Pain shot through Mr. Qruise's body. He fell onto his knees in front of tiny, petite Zenbot.

  "I abhor pain, Mr. Qruise." She said. "I do. But unenlightened organic matter has pain as one of its masters. If I am to be your new master, I must replace it. My role in teaching you will be to free you from the shackles of pain and more importantly the fear of it which fills you up inside. Now I am your master and you're my pupil. Do you understand? Repeat after me, please."

  Mr. Qruise nodded weakly, his face snow white, shaking in pain.

  Zenbot twisted his arm a few inches forward. "Say it, please."

  Mr. Qruise screamed in pain. "You're my master, and I'm… I'm your Shen damn pupil."

  Zenbot immediately released his wrist. "Good. There is a kitchenette at the back of the warehouse." Zenbot pointed towards a small room at the back "There you'll find tea, water and a pot. You'll make a fire and heat the tea by the time I come back. Remember, this is an exercise in observation. Now Freedman, let's go."

  Freedman stood up in awe and followed Zenbot out of the warehouse, his massive frame following at her tiny heels. An audible click signaled the locking of the only entrance into and exit out of the warehouse.

  Mr. Qruise was left alone to lick his wounds and reflect on his exercise.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Heating the Tea

  An old black man sat in a tangled nest of wiring. Some of the wiring was plugged into various sockets located across the curve of the man's spine. Several screens were arrayed before him on his little wheeled chair. His eyes flitted back and forth between the screens.

  His fingers darted over these monitors, pushing and pulling information from each of them when it suited him.

  The man stopped suddenly and leaned forward to stare at one of the screens.

  He sighed and then stood up and prepared himself a cup of coffee from a drip machine hidden beneath the nest of wiring to his side.

  He took a biscuit out of his pocket, broke a piece and placed it on his shoulder. A white mouse appeared from the wiring and climbed up his trousers, then the man's back and finally landed on his shoulder to nibble on the biscuit piece.

  "Algy, it seems that we've got people looking for us. What's that? You wonder why? Why else? To get us into trouble and to get us to do things for them. What else do people wanna do with us? All we want is to be safe here and watch the world and speak with the world and to think, isn't that right, Algy? You bet your bottom."

  "Here let's take a look at this one." A screen showed the inside of the warehouse where Mr. Qruise was staring at the tea pot. Willing it to heat up. "What's he doing, you think?" VII touched the screen and an intelligence report replaced the view of Mr. Qruise. "Report says he ain't right in the head. Scheduled for re-cycling. He's got friends though." VII touched the screen again and it changed immediately to a view of an underground base where men and women in khakis were rushing around importantly, armed to the teeth. Zenbot and Freedman were walking around asking questions. "I like this one," he tapped on Zenbot, zooming in, "she's the one who took out the whole squad of folks down at the old Fabuleuze."

  "And then there's the new Ober-kaptain. She really scares me, just you see, Algy." The screen shifted to Mancy's office where she sat with her legs up on her desk. A large board lay across her chest. Scrawled on it in marker was: "VII WE NEED TO TALK".

  "Told'ya she's scary. Now what are we supposed to do with that, Algy? Here, lets send her a message."

  VII tapped a screen a few times and the lights in Mancy's office flashed on and off. Mancy looked around her office and then took out another board.

&nbs
p; "HAVE A JOB ON THE OUTSIDE"

  The lights flashed off and on again.

  "PAYS WELL"

  "NEW QUANTUM INTERFACE SOTA"

  "Well that's interesting ain't it, Algy? A new state of the art quantum interface. Do you think it's worth it? It never is you know. Those folks expect you to put it all on the line, they'd as soon as throw you away and help you. I know her type. Munch you up and spit you right out."

  Algy's response was to continue nibbling on the biscuit piece on VII's shoulder.

  "Damn right, Algy, damn right. Let's find out more though before we decide to bite the biscuit."

  Mr. Qruise sat in the warehouse staring at the teapot in front of him. He'd filled the pot with water from the sink in the kitchenette and had found a couple of teabags in the back of one drawer. The only missing element was fire.

  Bored after the first ten minutes of being left alone in the vacant warehouse he'd looked for an exit, but he'd found the locked door to be the only way in or out. After another ten minute wait he'd given up on the idea of escape and decided to begin his exercise, mostly because he was thirsty. He'd rummaged through the kitchenette and found it empty of stove tops, bunsen burners or anything that may have been used to prepare a proper pot'a.

  He scrunched his eyes in front of the teapot, in focus. He willed it to heat up, sticking his hand out towards the pot and tensing his muscles. He touched the pot but it was still as cold as ice.

  He tried to incorporate Zenbot's teachings and observe the world around him. All he saw was an empty warehouse, devoid of anything which could be used to make a fire.

  Finally he sat down cross legged and attempted to meditate, closing his eyes.

  "Ohmmmmmm…."

  He breathed in.

  "Ohmmmmm….."

  He breathed out.

  "Ohmmmmm…."

  He breathed in.

  "Zenbot's a giant bugger."