The Pink Heist

by Adam El Shalakany

  He breathed out.

  "Buggerrrrrrrrrrrrr."

  He breathed in.

  Mr. Qruise's mind began to unwind. He went over the events of the past few days. He'd been hiding out in Sweetspot for a few years. Happy to keep his head down and live with his strangeness. His biggest thoughts had been about maybe trying to swindle himself into a dig somewhere in the galaxy, uncovering artifacts and giving himself some entertainment. Collect a few stories along the way which he could sell on the fringes. The meeting with Mancy and her placing the bomb inside his brain passed before his eyes and then the conversations on the Big Pink. Finally he arrived at his 'here and now' and found his mind going empty and solely existing in the present. An ever present whiteness filled the dark void behind his eyes.

  A thought struck him like lighting. He opened his eyes and tore off a piece of his sleeve and walked over to an electrical outlet and kicked at it till the wiring came spilling out. He stuffed the exposed outlet with the rags. He was happy with himself, smiling at his work.

  Smoke began to form.

  "Heh, heh. There's your damned fire ZenBob." Mr. Qruise stared down at his work and the growing wisps of smoke. "That's enough now. Enough. Ow…crap."

  Mr. Qruise pulled his fingers back, as the rags caught entirely on fire, the tongues of which began to lick against the wall. He tried to pull the sleeve out again but electrical sparks lashed out at his hand.

  Sleeveless, Mr. Qruise ran to the locked entrance door. He banged against it hollering for help as the warehouse slowly began to fill with smoke and fire. The fire crept up the walls and lapped at the roof.

  "Open up. Open up you bastard."

  Mr. Qruise fell on his knees in front of the exit, banging at the door hollering for help. The fire reached him and snatched at his feet. He kicked at the fire like a drowning man trying to reach the surface. The heat of the fire burnt at his soles. He tried to persuade himself that death inside the virtual world was not really death, but the realness of the world wouldn't allow the primitive instinctive part of his mind to quiet. He was dying and he was terrified. Smoke filled the warehouse, and through the dense fog he could see the occasional diabolical flame taunting him.

  The roof of the warehouse caved in.

  The door opened with a click and he fell, slobbering and weeping, out into the fresh air. He scrambled the rest of the way out of the door, lying flat on his belly.

  An old black man with a white mouse on his shoulder was looking down at him. He leaned in on his walking cane.

  "Hello there, Mr. Qruise."

  "Mancy?" Mr. Qruise's eyes were pink and teary from the smoke. It took a while for his eyes to adjust to the day light.

  "No, not yet. We're going to go meet her now but I thought I'd come talk to you first. Have I interrupted anything?" VII looked past Mr. Qruise towards the smoke filled warehouse.

  "No, no, not at all. Always welcome Mr….. Who are you then?"

  "I'm known as VII in these parts."

  "Figures. We've been looking for you. At least this means we can get out of this blasted world. I can't believe you're in here for fun. I almost died, you know. It's not a fecking game."

  "It is. It is. I usually stay hidden safe and sound. Just a tip for your next game. As for me coming with you all, well that depends…."

  "On?"

  "On what exactly your boss wants with me." VII grinned down at Mr. Qruise and pulled him up from the ground "Let's go grab a coffee. I hear the Kafe Fabuleuze is up and running again. Idle hands get shot as the Premier says. Come on man. Your tea's burnt anyway."

  "How'd you know I was trying to make tea?" Mr. Qruise asked as they walked in the direction of the coffee shop. Looking behind him at the warehouse one last time, he saw the whole thing come down with a crack.

  Max La2x stood in the bushes wearing a pink shooting jacket and cap. He held a rifle up in his hands.

  "Pull."

  An electro-pigeon appeared, flying from the bushes. Mr. La2x, followed it with his rifle. His shot went wide.

  "Good shot nonetheless, Mr. La2x, the wind's against you, that's all."

  "You think so, Ms. Smirtya? I fear I'm getting rusty. And fat at that." He said pulling at his shirt showing the contours of his belly.

  Ms. Smirtya was dressed in an old-world sari, heavy bangles hanging off her ears. Her dark brown skin contrasted heavily with her yellow cat like eyes. Straight jet black hair fell off her shoulders. Her ruby lips grinned knowingly.

  "It was only the wind, Mr. La2x."

  "No, no. I agree. I'm still a good shot. That pigeon might not agree with you though, flapping happily in the wind. I've gotten soft, Ms. Smirtya. My joints ache, and I'm slow. Too slow." His pink mustache drooped over his mouth as he frowned. "No matter. I've just got to get back in the game." He forced a smile. "Any news on my daughter?"

  "She's currently on MO4. She's made contact with the cryptographer. Nothing to worry about, sir. We're on it."

  "You and Jack and the others are very capable. I know that. I've known that for decades. I rely on you lot quite a bit. I have immense trust in you. I hope you know that."

  "I know that, sir. We know that."

  "Good." Mr. La2x steadied his rifle and aimed out over the bushes, "pull."

  Mr. La2x shot at the rising pigeon and missed again.

  "Oh well. You can't get them all." He stood there for a while, staring at the pigeon fly away over the horizon. "Issue a bounty on my daughter and her ship please, Ms. Smirtya."

  Ms. Smirtya pulled a small thin tablet out of the folds of her Sari and started taking notes. "Very well, Mr. La2x. Open to….?"

  "The general public."

  She tapped at the tablet's screen. "And the bounty?"

  "One favor from me. No limits. Cashable immediately."

  "No limits, sir? That's quite a bounty. You want the entire galaxy chasing her?"

  "Something like that. Alive. No harm should come to my daughter. No matter what, you understand of course."

  "Of course, sir." She tapped on the screen. After she reviewed what she'd written she sent the bounty out. "It may get out of hand, sir."

  "It may. It may. It's a risk she'll have to take if she's going to continue on her present course. Pull"

  This time the pigeon barely peeped above the bushes before it was obliterated into smoke.

  Loveless knocked on Ober-kaptain Mancy's office door. She found Mancy sitting at her desk reading through a pile of reports. Mancy didn't look up as Loveless stood at attention in front of her.

  "Ober-kaptain, we have news of VII's whereabouts."

  "Excellent." Mancy lit a long filtered cigarette. "One of the things I I love about these games, you know, is you can smoke as much as you want and it's just as bad for you as the air."

  Loveless squirmed uncomfortably. "You…You're not supposed. You shouldn't mention the Game, Ober-Kaptain, it's the rules."

  Mancy took a long drag on her cigarette. "Yes. You're quite right. Carry on Loveless."

  "The target was seen entering the Kafe Fabuleuze with the coward. After the last skirmish in in the cafe we left an informant in case any of the Rebellion came back, so the news is quite fresh."

  "The coward? Mr. Qruise you mean? Oh excellent, that is good news. Alright then, gather a squad. VII is to be unharmed. I understand he has a pet, according to this dossier." She tapped at the electro-sleeve on the desk. A drawing of Algy showed up. "No harm comes to the mouse either. Understood? Everyone else is fair game. Oh I meant everyone is fair… it's alright to say the word in that context, isn't it?"

  Loveless squirmed again. "Yes, that's fine, sir. What about the coward, sir? Is he to be harmed?"

  "My orders were clear Loveless, I believe."

  Loveless's heels clicked in confirmation. Mancy returned to perusing her dossier. Loveless remained at attention. "Is there something else, Loveless?"

  "Yes sir. It's just that…Permission to speak openly, sir?"

  Mancy gestured for her to
continue. "Always."

  "I was marked for promotion before you arrived. The previous Ober-Kaptain was bumped up and I was, well I was promised your position."

  "Were you? That's unlucky."

  "I've worked hard for the government and the Premier for years. I've put my time in. You arrived and in an hour got the job. I don't wish to make trouble. It's just that I've worked with my team for years. I care for them. I hope you take care of them, is all."

  "Loveless…"

  "Yes, sir?"

  "Obey or be shot, shoo along now." Mancy didn't look up from the dossier.

  Zenbot and Freedman had been looking for VII in the Rebellion's headquarters for a few hours with no luck. The headquarters were in an old public-transport station deep underground. Cabling and munitions were thrown around in a haphazard and disorganized way. No one seemed to know where the hidden cryptographer was. Few of those they asked were able to even agree on what VII looked like. Some said she was a woman seven feet tall, others said he was a short fat man, or a robot, or a tentacled alien. There was one point of agreement though, VII had a pet white mouse.

  Freedman suggested they start asking for Skyburner, the head of the Rebellion, in the hope that she would be able to tell them where the cryptographer was.

  "Oh Skyburner? Oh yeah. She's right there mates." The small, fat commando with bandoliers of bullets wrapped around his shoulders pointed towards to a large muscular woman standing over a large map of Woshu.

  Lesser generals and officers surrounded Skyburner as pieces kept moving back and forth on the map. Strong ropy dreadlocks wound their way down to her waist. She wore cutoff sleeves and a military beret.

  Zenbot walked up to the commander, and looked down at the map of Woshu. "Excuse me."

  Skyburner cocked a thumb behind her, not looking away from the map. "Enlistment office is over there, recruit."

  "No, you misunderstand. I don't wish to sign up."

  "Then bugger off you coward."

  "I can't do that ma'am. I was hoping you could help. We're looking for VII."

  At that Skyburner did turn around, her face chiseled from stone, grim and grinless. "So you're the ones looking for VII. Heard about that. What's you business with our cryptographer? He's busy, keeping the spies moving. This map is one of his. He can't be wasting time on the likes of you. We're fighting a war here."

  "He's needed in the real world."

  At this the officers surrounding the map gasped in surprise.

  Skyburner bit her lips in worry.

  "The real world? This is the real world you fool. Now shut up and bugger off."

  "I mean topside. Out of MO4."

  "Shut up will you. Shhh….Look come with me." Skyburner took Zenbot off to the side of the large map, away from the others who were staring daggers at Zenbot. "Ok. Now whisper. What are you new to this whole thing? While you're inside you don't talk about the outside. You got to come up with something otherwise you'll take the whole fun out of it. Now what you did right there was a capital offence in most…. In most… simulations. Now, can you come up with a reason for finding VII in context? Ok lets go back. You ruin this for us and we'll have to shoot you. Send you topside."

  Zenbot nodded and walked back with Skyburner to the rest of the group.

  "So, you up for getting recruited Ms.? Hey, what's your name anyway?"

  "Zenbot, ma'am."

  "Zenbot…huh? Heck, wait…. You're not the Zenbot are you?"

  "I believe I'm the only one. I hope one day to become no one but for now, I'm the Zenbot."

  "Oh shit girl. You're famous topside, real famous. Wow."

  "I thought you said not to mention the outside world?"

  "Yeah, yeah. Sorry guys." Skyburner apologized to the others generals. "Sorry." Skyburner took a deep breathe and continued. "Ok and resume. So Zenbot. You're looking for VII? Why?"

  "I need her."

  "Good enough context for me. Right guys?" Skyburner looked at her officers who were all nodding, in awe of the legend. "Today's your lucky day. Usually we have no flipping idea where VII holes himself away. Usually in some rat's nest in some tower somewhere. He helps out here and there, but mostly it's the myth of the man that's more powerful. Some shadow power that intercedes on our behalf, like an all knowing Shen. But we've just received report of the government scum scrambling for some big op downtown. Now, they're saying it's VII but we haven't been able to corroborate the intelligence yet. We're about to send a bunch of boys to intervene out of principle though. You're more than welcome to tag along. Heck, we could use the Zenbot with us. Even if it's for a little while."

  "Thank you ma'am." Zenbot bowed towards the general in thanks. "I'll join the fight after I do something first. I have to go get my pupil, I believe there is another exercise in what's to come. Where will the battle be?"

  "Kafe Fabuleuze, you heard of it?"

  "I have. I will borrow Sergeant Freedman if that is ok with you. He has expressed interest in being my second pupil."

  "Heck, girl," Skyburner said, looking at the besotted sergeant, "by the way he's looking at you he's not mine anymore to lend."

  CHAPTER SIX

  Admin Duty

  "You see that man right behind you, in the black trench coat?" VII asked Mr. Qruise. The two sat in the recently repaired Kafe Fabuleuze. Algy lay on the table between them nibbling on crumbs.

  Mr. Qruise looked behind him. "I do."

  "He's a government informant."

  "He's a bit on the nose. He's…he's staring at us." The man in the black trench coat was reading a newspaper with a cup of coffee in his hands but was staring straight at the two of them.

  "Yes. The government knows we're here. Your friend Mancy is very resourceful. She's coming for a little chat, I believe. But thanks to our conversation I'm a little bit better prepared for her."

  "Should I look away? He's still watching us." The informant was still staring straight at them.

  "Yeah, why not. Look away."

  Mr. Qruise turned back to VII. "Resourceful, that's one word for Mancy. She'll be so annoyed I found you first, it's going to be an enjoyable conversation. I can't wait to see her face." Mr. Qruise rubbed his hands in anticipation.

  "I wouldn't be so sure."

  "Why not?" Mr. Qruise stopped rubbing his hands, his face's muscle memory pulled his smile downwards into the more usual frown.

  "The government isn't known for a soft handed approach to governance. She's on her way with a squad."

  "What the hell for? We've found you. All she's got to do is come and convince you to join and we're out of here."

  "Partly to make sure she holds me down for enough time to convince me to join you, partly because she strikes me as the person who has a flair for the dramatic."

  "Shouldn't we escape?"

  "No need. I want to talk to her Mr. Qruise. And secondly, if you would look at the barista, you'll see she's the same one who scribbled on your cup from earlier."

  "Yes, so?"

  "Damn man. You have a memory of a fish or what? She's the Rebellion informer who brought them on your head the first time. You really should be more observant. We're about to be in the middle of battle."

  "I see. Aren't you worried?"

  "No, I've decided to join you guys already. I just want to see a bit of action before I go. It's going be quite the firefight."

  Mr. Qruise sat silent for a while.

  "I've already been in one firefight here, it wasn't a pleasant experience. How can you enjoy it?"

  "You'll see."

  The cafe's doors were smashed open for the second time that week. Mancy strode in magnificently with menacing intelligence officers in tow. A few shouts from her and the soldiers barricaded the cafe, posting sentries behind the counters. The clientele and employees fled the cafe. Mancy walked over to VII and sat down in an empty seat at the table.

  "VII, I presume." She crossed her legs and shouted for Loveless.

  Loveless stood at attention. "Yes, si
r. I believe congratulations for the troops are in order."

  Mancy ignored her. "A coffee for me please. Any of you want anything?" She asked the two at the table.

  Mr. Qruise shook his head, unsure of what to make of the tall and statuesque Loveless.

  VII raised a hand. "Yeah. I'll have a coffee. A biscuit for Algy would be nice."

  "Of course." Mancy nodded to Loveless, who stood at attention refusing to move. "Were my orders unclear, Loveless?" Mancy asked.

  Loveless's jaw twitched. Her response came out from between clenched teeth. "Crystal, sir."

  "Why don't you move then?"

  "I've been speaking with the other officers and we've agreed to remove you from-" Mancy took out a pistol from her trench coat pocket and shot Loveless in the head. She then placed the pistol on the table, smoke seeping out from the nozzle. The government soldiers barricading the entrance looked back at Loveless's lifeless body and then quickly looked in front of them again.

  Mancy didn't bat an eyelid. "Mr. Qruise, what a pleasant surprise." She said smiling. "All we need now is Zenbot for a little re-union. I hope you've been enjoying the Game."

  "My Shens you're a lunatic. You shot one of your's."

  "Yes, remember that, Mr. Qruise, in the future," Mancy winked, "if you fail to pull your weight on this thing."

  Mr. Qruise raised his hands in innocence. "Hey, I found VII."

  "Yes, yes you did. I'm glad to see you changing your attitude and really getting into the thing. You've been such a miserable mope on the Big Pink"

  "The Big Pink?" VII asked.

  "Yes, Mancy has an obsession with pink. That's her ship's name." Mr. Qruise said.

  VII stared at Mancy's pink trench coat and nodded. "I see. The camera in your office was in mono-colour. Well, Mancy, should we get to it? You have a quantum interface I hear. I'll need two."

  "A quantum interface, what's that?" asked Mr. Qruise.

  "It's an improved interface port for the game." Mancy said. "It allows a faster flow of information between the brain and game. It's commonly used to cheat in-game because you can send commands to the game before the internal logic can determine what the result should be. Why do you need two, VII?"