The Pink Heist

by Adam El Shalakany

  "You're full of self-interest, self-service and self-protection. But there is little self-respect."

  "They're the same thing you, you tin-man." He paused looking at Zenbot's feminine face and glaring eyes. "I mean tin-person. Get me out of here now." Mr. Qruise's body shuddered in fear. He shuffled close to Zenbot and then held on to her, afraid of the dark. "Please."

  "Up there, we have only a week. But in here," Zenbot tapped Mr. Qruise on his temple, "we have so much more. Up there," she looked past the heavy clouds, "your body will tire, you will starve, you will thirst. You'll feel all of this. Pain in your bones, in your body. But inside here you won't slow down. We have months in here to train. Physically and mentally. Though both are one as you'll find out. If you want to escape, to run, to get out of the dark, then first you have to land one punch, one kick, one anything on me. I'm one of the fighting masters in the 'verse and you won't land a blow if I don't want you to. And Mr. Qruise, I do not want you to." Zenbot's eyes stared into Mr. Qruise's, unblinking. "You'll say 'I don't want to fight'. But you must try, you have no choice. If you do, you'll live, if you don't you'll die of thirst in a few days on the outside. A few years in here." She walked away from Mr. Qruise. Still hanging onto her, Mr. Qruise pawed at Zenbot, holding her white robes in his hands like a life preserver. She tore away from him. He fell into the mud. When he looked up he saw Zenbot bowing. "Now begin." She said.

  "But I don't want to fight." He squealed. His eyes were wild, flitting back and forth from the clouds overhead to the valley below.

  "You must."

  "How?" his voice was thin and raspy.

  "Just try and hit me."

  Mr. Qruise stood up and approached Zenbot. He was much taller than her in there. He made a fist and stood there for a while unsure of what to do. He looked at his clenched hand and finally threw it weakly at Zenbot's chin. All he hit was air and shortly afterwards, from a round house kick by Zenbot, he flew. Lightening flared through the dark heavens above.

  Back in the dojo Mr. Qruise punched Freedman in the face. A red blotch bloomed above Freedman's left cheekbone. "Hey, what the hell do you think you're doing, Qruise? You're not funny. I'll bop you if you do that again." Freedman looked to his master sitting at the center of the mat. "Master, tell him. It ain't right. We're brothers in this thing."

  "He isn't being funny. Freedman. Don't blame Mr. Qruise for hitting you." It was Mr. Qruise who spoke only in Zenbot's monotonous, crisp voice. "I'm in control of Mr. Qruise for the moment." The source alternated every few words between coming out of Mr. Qruise's or Zenbot's mouth. "This'll be your unlucky day. In fact it'll be your unlucky week. I'll fight you now. I won't hurt you intentionally. I'll inflict only the amount of pain required for you to learn."

  "To learn what, Master?" Freedman circled around Zenbot, keeping Mr. Qruise, who was following him, on the other side of the mat. He shifted his attention between his master and his fellow student, uncertain of whom to defend against.

  "To learn that life's a chaotic mess. It's only through self-discipline that you can see through the fog."

  Mr. Qruise's body spread into a praying mantis pose, leg propped out with a bent knee. Both arms stretched out to his sides. He hopped over towards Freedman and flicked him on the nose with a left kick.

  "Hey. Stop that, I said." Freedman held his nose and ran away. "Shouldn't you teach me how to fight first?" Freedman looked back and forth between Zenbot and Mr. Qruise.

  "I am teaching you." Mr. Qruise hopped in front of Freedman and slapped him across the face.

  "Hey!" Freedman ran across the room hiding on the other side.

  Mr. Qruise closed the distance with a jump above Zenbot who was sipping its tea calmly. "What are you going to do Freedman? Are you feeling lucky?" Slap. Slap. Slap.

  Freedman's face was red and bruised. Mr. Qruise's hand descended to slap him once more but Freedman held his hand. He punched Mr. Qruise squarely in the nose.

  Somewhere in the dark recesses of his mind Mr. Qruise's face bloomed in pain even though he could have sworn Zenbot had only kicked his butt.

  Captain Pippy knocked on the holo-deck's door. There was no answer. She popped her head inside. "Hey, you guys mind getting out? I'm looking to get some practice on the minefield schematics."

  Mr. Qruise had Freedman in a strangle hold. He'd just landed a knee in Freedman's gut. Their robes were torn and their weak flabby torsos were exposed.

  "Oh." Captain Pippy said.

  Zenbot, rose quickly from its sitting position and walked over to the holo-deck entrance. "Sorry, Captain Pippy. The holo-deck is reserved for the remainder of the week. We'll see you all after that. Till then no interruptions." It pushed Captain Pippy out and closed the door.

  "Hey. Let me in. Let me in Shen'amn you." She banged at the door furiously. "You've gone and locked the door. I need to train if we're gonna survive the minefield."

  Zenbot spoke from the other side of the door. "Holo-deck's reserved, Captain Pippy. Like you said, there's nothing like the real thing. No point in practicing. See you in a week."

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  The Unlanded Kick

  "Girls," Captain Pippy returned to the lounge and threw her electro-sleeve schematics on the table, "it seems Zenny's gone on a bit of wild one. It's locked itself in the holo-deck with the other two and says it ain't coming out till we arrive at the La2x System."

  "Did you try smashing in the door?" VII asked, sitting at a makeshift desk to the side. Punching code away into a screen.

  "I ain't getting on the bad side of that one." Captain Pippy shook her head. "You want to break into the holo-deck you do it, hon'. I'll just go back to studying my schematics besides, it won't make much of a difference anyhow. Ol' Zenny's right. Ain't anything like the real thing."

  "So you're not going to practice at all?" Mancy twirled around on her chair.

  "I'll study the schematics and wait for those three to finish whatever the hell they're doing?"

  "And what are they doing?" Mancy stopped twirling.

  "I took a peep through the crack in the door and that man Qruise was whaling on the lucky hog, Freedman. Just going at it, the both of'em, like a bunch'a boys. Zenny was sitting drinking its tea, as cool as snowflake. When I popped my head in it came and locked me out."

  Mancy listened intently while VII fiddled away at her small work station. "That's a strange one. Let's take a look at the camera feed." Mancy walked over to the display screen by the door. "Let's just-" She tapped furiously at the small screen. "The bastard's blocked the feed. VII can you join us for a moment?"

  "What is it, boss?" VII stopped tapping at the computers in front of her, rubbing at the bridge of her nose.

  "Can you access the camera feed in the holo-deck?"

  "Sure thing, boss." VII clacked away at the screens again, happy for the end of the distraction. "Sorry, boss. But Zenbot's got it locked down tight in there. It's closed off all access to the holo-deck. They can't even hear the intercom. I could break the code with enough time but it'll eat out of my prep time for the mission."

  "Forget about it." Mancy gestured with her hands. "You just focus on what you were doing. Pippy can you make do without the holo-deck for a while?"

  "That's Captain. Well, hon', need and want are two different things. It'd be better for my peace of mind, and your's no doubt, if I could take a knock at it before the real thing. But it can wait I s'ppose."

  Mancy twitched her mouth, annoyed. "Alright. I just hope whatever they're doing in there is worth it."

  The inky night sky was the consistency of clay. Dark clouds smeared overhead. Mr. Qruise lay down in the mud. His rough scraggily beard had grown back a deep brown, caked in dirt.

  "Shen damn you, you bastard. Leave me alone. Let me out of here." He pushed himself up off the ground but Zenbot kept him down with one foot.

  "I would have thought, Mr. Qruise, that after all this time in here that you would have understood that I won't do that." Zenbot stood over Mr.
Qruise. Lightening flared behind her. "All I ask for is you to lay one punch. One kick. One anything. All I ask for is for you to connect with me. Is that too much to ask?"

  "You're crazy. You're Shen damn crazy. I just want to be left alone. Leave me alone. I just want to go back to Sweetspot and be left alone."

  "If you live in this 'verse you're not alone." Zenbot dug her heel into Mr. Qruise's back. "You'll never be. Accept that, with all its consequences. Ptah." Zenbot spat on the ground, next to Mr. Qruise's face. "Get up." She removed her foot and Mr. Qruise jumped on his feet. "That's better. Your posture's better. See how much can get done in only a day of training? Now, what would you prefer, more sparring or some training?"

  Mr. Qruise scratched at his beard, crazy eyed. "Alright. Alright, you bastard. Training. Train me then." He looked up at the night sky. There wasn't anything to show the passing of time, no moon, no sun and no stars. "Has it only been a day.? It's felt like weeks in here."

  "A day on the outside, Mr. Qruise. In here it's different. Lie down! Now, get up! Faster! Now lie down again. Empty your mind. Stand up. Bend your knees. Now punch the air. With your hips. It's all in the hips."

  Freedman lay battered at the corner of the mat. Mr. Qruise was fiddling with the tea pot, filling it with water. His eyes were distant, his posture straight as a ruler. He walked in a firm, confident but oddly mechanical gait. He returned with the pot and filled Zenbot's cup.

  "Ma…ster. Why? Why-" Freedman croaked. "Why are you doing this?" Freedman's lips were cracked and bloodied. His face was a mottled array of black and blue. Bulging.

  Zenbot sat staring out of the dojo's window, "I do this because I must." It spoke softly. "We're running out of time. Do you understand that nothing's going to save you but yourself? No lucky break. Are you done with pain?"

  "Yes. Shens, yes. Please stop."

  "Good." Zenbot's eye slits flared up a happy blue. "Stand up. Faster now, or I'll send Mr. Qruise to help."

  "I'm up, I'm up. Keep that bastard away from me."

  Mr. Qruise stared blankly into space, drool dribbled out of his mouth. He bent his knees in and out, before punching the air, going through the motions of a kata.

  Zenbot stood up and helped Freedman emulate Mr. Qruise's posture. "Bend your knees. Show me your punching style. Needs work. Needs work, Freedman. Today we train. Tomorrow you spar with Mr. Qruise again. For now, follow him." Zenbot sat back down next to its tea.

  Mancy paced back and forth in the lounge, arms behind her back. She stopped and stood behind VII, who was clacking away at her screens. Mancy couldn't understand the cryptographer's strange language. She resumed her pacing. Captain Pippy lay on the couch, her head hanging from the edge, reading the electro sleeve schematics upside down. "Are they still at it? It's been two days by the Shens. What could they be doing in there?" Mancy asked the room.

  VII, stared at something on her screen. She tried to clean it off with her thumb. "Boss. I think there's something more worrying right now." She kept rubbing at the smudge on her screen. "Computer system's picked someone up on our trail. They've been on our radar for a while. Same ping numbers all the way since the End of the Line. I didn't think nothing of it at first, but there aren't any main trade routes this way we're taking. No reason for there to be neighbors. But neighbors we got."

  "What's the ship's name?" Captain Pippy asked, her face upside down.

  VII removed her thumb, unsatisfied that the lone dot on the screen following the Big Pink's wake, remained glaring back at her. "The Curacao." She said.

  "The Curacao?" Mancy's eyes squinted upwards, trying to remember if she had ever heard of the name before. "It's not one of Daddy's ships. You sure it's been with us since the port?"

  "My job's to be sure, boss. I don't like being traced remember."

  "Pippy?"

  "That's Captain, hon." Captain Pippy removed the electro sleeve hiding her face, giving an upside down grin to Mancy.

  "Maybe you should take control of the ship."

  The Captain jumped up, energized. "That's more like it. Let's take this baby for a spin. I've been waiting a while for this."

  Mancy followed Captain Pippy to the cockpit at the side of the lounge, standing behind the pilot's chair. "Change track. Let's see what happens. If they follow us, can we escape them?"

  "This is a luxury sporting yacht hon'. Ain't much we can escape, but we've got a hell'uv a control. I'm guessing for the mine field an' all. Bad top speed tho'. The Curacao's a regular trans-ship from the looks of it." She looked at the radar screen next to the pilot's chair. "We could probably hide out in the nearest disruption field if we can make it that far. Ain't a sure thing tho'."

  "That'll be the Geminix Nebula, boss." VII said staring at a display on her monitor and shouting over her back to the cockpit.

  "Let's see what happens if we slow down. Let's hope we're just being paranoid and they keep their speed constant."

  Captain Pippy stretched her shoulders as she got acquainted with the controls. "In my experience there ain't no such thing as being paranoid, hon'. Everybody's out to get you sooner or later."

  "Agreed." VII shouted from the lounge.

  Captain Pippy pulled the speed lever back slowing the Big Pink down gradually. "Curacao's maintaining speed. Maintaining speed. You getting the same, VII?"

  "Yo. It's getting close now boss. One parsec away. Nine tenths. Point Eight. Half. Oh. Look's like they're on our trail, boss. They've slowed down."

  Captain Pippy pushed the speed lever all the way forward and the Big Pink shot forward through space. "Geminix Nebula it is. Ladies, I'd hold onna' something 'cause we're about to fly."

  Mr. Qruise and Freedman stood in a defensive stance, looking toward the empty space of the Dojo. Zenbot walked between them, correcting their posture, with quick taps of its hands, bending its pupils' muscles manually.

  The lights dimmed in the dojo and the simulation phased in and out. The dojo disappeared and in its place the sterile black covering of the holo-deck appeared. All three of them were thrown in the air. The dojo, having re-appeared spun around them. The tea formed a misty spray. Before Mr. Qruise and Freedman could hit the wall on the other end, Zenbot caught them gently and placed them softly on the ground.

  Mr. Qruise was falling into the night sky. He screamed quite a bit.

  Zenbot floated quietly next to him as they ascended rapidly in the sky.

  "What the hell's going on?" Mr. Qruise squeezed out between screams.

  Zenbot said something which disappeared into the wind.

  "Whaaat? Speeeaaaak Louder. Cannnnnn' hear youuuu." Mr. Qruise shouted.

  Zenbot raised her voice. "It seems the ship's changed course with rapid acceleration. I can hear you quite well. No need to shout. Please focus on the issue at hand."

  "The issue at hand? The issue at hand is what's going on in here? The ship's changed course, so what? Why are we spinning?"

  "Your body's flying through the dojo as we speak. Don't worry though I'll catch you soon. Have no fear, I take care of my students. You and Freedman are safe."

  "Freedman, is he here with us?"

  "No. He's on the outside. You two have been sparring quite a lot."

  "Have we?"

  "Yes, I've taken it upon myself to train your muscle memory and strength while we're in here."

  "You've hijacked my body as well. That's good of you." Mr. Qruise adjusted to the flight and calmed his flailing body, copying Zenbot's outstretched pose. He looked down at the distant valley and the hill where they'd been sparring. Far from the dark tumult beneath, he calmed down and turned to Zenbot "Any idea how we stop floating in the air?"

  "We wait. Mr. Qruise. Why do you ask?"

  "So you can't fly?"

  "No. Those are not one of my abilities. Not even in here."

  "Good." Mr. Qruise kicked at Zenbot's floating body.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  The Big Pop

  The Big Pink swelled and swayed away from the fast appr
oaching Curacao. The yacht wasn't fast enough to escape and minute by minute their assailers closed in.

  "How far to the nebula?" Mancy gripped the back of the pilot's chair in the cockpit, her hands white with tension.

  Captain Pippy didn't look back. Her hands fiddled with the dials and levers, weaving the yacht away from the Curacao as much as she could. "We're about three hundred parsecs away hon'. We should be there within a day. By my estimates they'll catch up to us in about half that time. Unless our crypto-friend can somehow slow them down. Anything ya can do back there?" She shouted to VII across the lounge.

  "I can try. I'm guessing our time schedule's been thrown out of whack anyway, boss. We'll have to wait until they're in pretty close quarters for me to connect with the Curacao's systems. I'll get started on the program." She swiped one of the screens clean of coding and started typing away at a fresh slate, pulling information about the Curacao from the surrounding screens onto the new page. "The question's who the hell are they, boss?"

  Mancy paced back and forth between the VII and the cockpit to the side. Her arms behind her, one hand rolling her wrist. "Damned if I know, VII. Could be a whole list of people. I've wronged a lot of strangers in my life."

  "Amen, sister." Captain Pippy said.

  Mancy adjusted her jacket in thought. "Could be Daddy. Maybe he's caught wind of our plan. Maybe it's someone else. I guess we'll find out one way or the other. Is your estimate in line with the Captain's, VII? Half a day till they catch up?"

  "A little bit less, boss. What're we gonna do without the Zenbot? I mean if things get… rough."