That's a Relief (Promises, Promises Book 3)

by Victoria Klahr

  I want to know why she changed her mind. Why she decided that I’m no longer good enough for her.

  “I can’t,” she whispers.

  My chin trembles despite that I’m trying to stay strong. “So this is it? Blake almost dies, and that’s when you decide he’s the one you want? I mean that much to you? That you can just throw me away?”

  “I have to. This is how it has to be for now,” her voice is soft and resigned, losing its hard edge.

  She plays with the engagement ring I put on her finger seven months ago and starts twisting it off. The ring she promised she would never take off.

  I don’t think I’ll ever be able to breathe right again. The tears start and I have to look away when she slides it off and pushes it in my direction. The pain crawling up my spine is unlike anything I have ever felt; a knife in the gut would be preferable to the agony she’s inflicting.

  “Take it,” she urges, tears of her own filling her eyes.

  The ring looks so small and insignificant in my hand. No longer the symbol of the forever we promised each other.

  “You know what this means, right, Josie?” I ask, voice hoarse and thick. I look at her and she nods her head. “This is it. You give this back to me and I’m done. I will not fight for you again. I will not put myself in this position again.” I place my hand over my racing heart. “Because this feeling—this pain that I’m feeling right now—it’s too much. I never want to feel this way again.”

  I lean down and leave a sliver of space between our faces—close enough that my tears land on her mouth. I’m not sure how I get my next words past the stabbing in my throat. “So, are you sure this is what you want? Are you ready to lose me forever?”

  Her tears mix with mine, and I hear her swallow before she answers. More than anything, I want her to take it all back and tell me she didn’t mean a word she said.

  “I don’t want to lose you forever, Seth,” she cries through on a sob.

  “Of course you don’t,” I say bitterly. “Who would you use when you’re feeling depressed or lonely?”

  Her eyes widen. “Se—”

  “Just fucking stop, Josie! Stop.”

  She shuts her mouth and clenches her jaw. “Fine. Yes, I understand. We’re done. Over.”

  Though I’ve known for the past twenty minutes that this was our fate, the words hit my heart as painfully as a burning poker piercing my skin. I pull back and start pacing in front of her. The nurses have started gathering in the room, looking in our direction, but I can’t get over what’s happening enough to care about our audience.

  I shove the engagement ring into my pocket and point an accusing finger at her. “I trusted you! I trusted you with my heart and you broke it. Again!”

  Footsteps start our way. “Sir, if you don’t calm down, you’re going to have to leave.”

  I whip my head to the security guard and nurse behind me. Sarcasm drips in my laugh. “Yeah, yeah. I’m fucking going.” I start walking away from Josie, who has the audacity to look shocked and hurt. Anger is easier for me to handle so I latch onto it as tight as I can. “Amazing that I’m the one getting kicked out for being heartbroken. When the bitch that just broke my heart gets to live happily-fucking-ever-after with someone else.”

  Brandon walks toward me, shock written all over his face. “Shit, Seth,” he starts, reaching for me.

  “Don’t worry, buddy.” I shoot him a bitter smile and pat his shoulder. “It’s nothing I shouldn’t have expected.” I turn back to Josie and give her a derisive bow. “Here’s to you, my dear Josie. For proving you’re just as cold-hearted as everyone thinks you are. Really. Congrats on convincing me you aren’t worth all this pain.”

  I shove the security guard’s arm off of mine and walk away. I turn around suddenly to face her. Look her in her dark-blue eyes and raise my shaking hand to swipe at my streaming tears.

  I want to hurt her. I want her to break her the way she just broke me. “I want a paternity test when that baby is born.”

  And then I walk away—my shattered heart left behind in the small hands of the girl behind me.

  Chapter 25

  Josie

  I want a paternity test when that baby is born.

  My hand covers my abdomen as I slide down the wall onto the hard carpeted floor. Tears flow more freely now as shock and horror settles in my bones.

  What have I done?

  Brody and Brandon jog after Seth and the room quiets except for the sobs I can’t seem to control.

  What have I done?

  Seth was so hurt. I knew he would be, but seeing it was so much worse than I realized. The way his knees buckled like he couldn’t hold himself up with the weight of my words. The way his hands quivered every time he ran them through his hair. The pure confusion and suffering in his sad blue eyes.

  And the tears. Each teardrop against his trembling lips pierced me in the gut.

  What have I done?

  I look at my hand, devoid of the engagement ring Seth placed on my finger only a few months ago, and the sobbing worsens.

  What have I done?

  What have I done?

  What have I done?

  I hug my knees and rock back and forth. They’re going to admit me into a mental hospital if I don’t pull myself together.

  “Concentrate on your breathing, Josie,” says a soft feminine voice next to me.

  I turn my head and clutch a hand to my chest when my lungs burn from lack of oxygen. Through the blur of tears, I make out Breanna’s long raven hair. “What have I done?” I cry.

  “I know this is hard for you right now. What do you need from me? What can I do to make this better?” she asks.

  Part of me wants to smack her for being so freaking nice to me. She picked the wrong person to help. Seth deserves her kindness. He’s worth it.

  Seth. Tears continue to pour and I rock myself harder. The nausea starts, and with every sob, I gag on nothing.

  “Okay,” she says when I don’t answer. “How about we take deep breaths together? Let’s count through them.” Her hand rests on my back, making slow circular motions and her voice soothes me. Her other hand grabs mine and she places two fingers at the pulse on my wrist. “Can you do that, Josie?”

  I nod absently, my heart racing so fast.

  “Good. You’re doing great. Let’s take a deep breath in.” She inhales the same time I do. When she starts to exhale, I copy her. “One,” she says. Another breath in and out. “Two.” Again and again, until we reach ten.

  Breanna keeps her fingers on my pulse until I’ve calmed down, reassuring me that it’s okay to cry. That’s all that’s left. Silent tears stream down my face, and even though the anxiety attack passes, the pain remains.

  “Thank you,” I say eventually, voice hoarse.

  “It’s the least I could do,” she says, looking away. “I’m almost finished with my nursing degree, so it was good practice.”

  Brody walks back into the waiting room, eyes searching. Breanna’s body stiffens and she sits up straighter. Brody squats down in front of me and lets out a low whistle. “You look awful, sweetheart.”

  “How’s Seth?” My voice cracks on his name, fresh tears surfacing.

  “Not looking much better than you. Brandon was afraid to let him drive home by himself, so he’s taking him back.”

  I nod. That’s good. “He hates me.”

  Brody sits on the floor, crosses his legs, and reaches out to grab my hand. Breanna scoots away. “I think he loves you so much, that the pain of losing you is killing him. But hate? He’s not there yet.”

  “That doesn’t make me feel better.” Knowing he will hate me one day soon, makes everything so much worse. Will he still hate me when he knows the truth? That scares me more than anything.

  “Well shit, sweetheart, you can’t really blame him. He thinks you’re leaving him for my brother, but that makes no sense.”

  How could he think that? How could he really believe I wanted to be with B
lake over him? Why did he jump to that conclusion so quickly? It broke my heart, and I was so shocked, I couldn’t form any words to reassure him that I would never betray him like that. It made no sense.

  Until it did. For the first time in that hopelessly depressing break-up, I realized Seth gave me an out. He handed me a perfectly horrific reason to call off the wedding and to ensure that he would let me go and stop loving me. Whatever it takes to make sure that Michael thinks Seth and I are completely over.

  Though I never admitted that I was choosing Blake, I allowed Seth to think it. To hurt over it. To cry over it. Because in the end, it worked. Seth told me he would stop fighting for me, and he walked away.

  Just like I needed him to do.

  “Josie,” Brody says, demanding my attention. “Please tell me that isn’t true”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  “It does matter. I don’t believe for one second that you could go for my douchebag brother over the guy you were making lovey-dovey eyes with this afternoon at your house.”

  “Brody,” Breanna admonishes softly after Brody calls Blake a douchebag, eyes on the hands in her lap.

  Brody reaches out and tugs a piece of her hair. “Don’t even, Bree. Not after everything …”

  I ignore their cryptic language and focus on what Brody just said. I almost forgot that not even twelve hours ago, Seth and I had company at our house.

  If I hadn’t found that stupid gun, would we be here? Would Blake be in the hospital bed? Would everyone I love be in danger from my vengeful rapist? Could I be in Seth’s arms right now telling him how much I love him?

  Brody swipes my new tears, and I send him a grateful glance, finally taking a look at him. His hair is disheveled and rain drops sprinkle his white dress shirt. He lost his jacket sometime between earlier and now. What’s new is the slight trickle of blood on the corner of his mouth.

  I wipe it with the pad of my thumb, and he winces. “What happened?” I ask.

  Breanna’s focus turns back to us as she pivots her body and leans in to get a better look at Brody’s cut. The worry in her eyes is unmistakable, and through their weird connection she seems to be asking him the same question I did.

  Brody is more concerned by her reaction. He gives her a reassuring smile and touches her hand. “It’s nothing, Bree. I promise.” Turning back to me, he gives me one of his playful winks and touches the skin below the cut. “I may or may not have said something to Seth about finally having a shot with you now that you two were over.”

  “Oh, god,” I say, my face falling into my hands. I’m a little surprised that’s the only damage Seth did.

  “I’m going to go,” Breanna says, starting to get up. Her nose scrunches like she’s in pain, and she won’t meet Brody’s eyes.

  Brody gets up with her and grabs her hand. “Hey,” he says, voice low and only for her ears—and unintentionally, mine. “It was just a joke. You know, Bree. You know.”

  “You don’t owe me an explanation,” she says, equally quiet, pulling her hand from his and walking away. She looks more sad than she is angry. More regretful than jealous.

  “I owe you so much more than that,” he says to her back. I notice the way she falters, but she doesn’t turn around, just clutches her fingers together in front of her. Brody looks back at me and I see an apology in his eyes—the need to go leave me to go after this girl he isn’t supposed to care about more than as his baby sister.

  “Go. I’m fine now. Blake said I could stay here with him.” I’m not ready to go home—the idea of hiding out here until the police catch Michael is becoming more appealing by the second.

  Brody’s eyebrows crease slightly. “Yeah. Okay. Well, if you need me, I’m only a phone call away.” He looks in the direction Breanna left and adds almost as an afterthought, “I’ll probably be in town for a while, anyway.”

  Then I’m alone. The silence like a weight on my chest. A roar that makes my ears split.

  Because I’m supposed to be going to sleep. I’m supposed to be hearing Seth’s light breathing as he dreams and the kick of his heart as I lay my head on his bare chest. But I’m not. He isn’t here, and all I’m left with is a ticking clock and the soft beeping of machines behind the closed doors of people on the brink of death.

  When the tears finally dry and I can’t keep myself awake any longer, I get up and go to Blake’s room. Blake must have pulled some strings with the hospital: a cot is already set up with a blanket and a change of clothes.

  In the years I dated Blake, I learned to stop asking questions about how he was able to pull off thoughtful endeavors. It’s in his nature. He’s always deserved someone who appreciates it more than I did.

  But right now, I’m so grateful for the bed and the security in his hospital room.

  A safe place to hide from what I just did.

  Chapter 26

  Seth

  What did I do?

  Did I really walk away from the person I swore was my soulmate? Did I really tell her I’d give up on her forever?

  I pinch the skin on my hand and force myself to stop thinking that this is my fault. It is not my fault. Josie chose this. She chose to give me up. She chose to throw everything away for another man.

  “You gonna be okay, man?” Brandon asks, pulling me out of my self-infliction. His eyes express his concern as he turns toward me in the driver’s seat. It’s then that I notice he’s parked in front of my parents’ house.

  I’m so tired. Weak. Fragile. The part of me that has only ever let Josie get close, tells me to play it cool and pretend like I’m all right. Make a joke out of it. But I don’t have the energy. I’m so tired. “I don’t think so, Brandon. Not this time.”

  I clamp the skin of my hand harder when I feel the tears stinging my eyes, an onslaught of sadness at the realization that I’ve lost the girl I love.

  “There’s got to be an explanation.”

  I give a harsh shake of my head and a humorless laugh passes my lips. “Yeah. The explanation is that I’ve never been good enough for her. I’ve always been second best to your brother.”

  “No, man. I don’t believe that for a second.”

  I crush my skin until I’m wincing with blissful pain. “Well, fuckin’ believe it,” I grit out. “She saw him today, Brandon. I checked her tracking app when she wasn’t at the house and wouldn’t answer her phone. She went to the house. So either she fell for him all over again or this has been going on a lot longer than I realized.”

  “Josie’s not materialistic, Seth. Come on. Think. She wouldn’t do that to you.”

  “But she did!” I feel my face heating and my breathing turns rough. “She did, Brandon.” My vulnerability is clear in the crack of my voice. “She did it once before, why wouldn’t she do it now? Why wouldn’t I think she’d rather be with a guy like him?”

  “Because I’ve seen her with you and I’ve seen her with Blake. There’s a huge difference. I’m telling you, there’s something off here.”

  I start squeezing the skin on my other hand. Another bruise. “What’s different is she saw her dream library and realized I’ll never be good enough. I’ll never be able to make her dreams come true.” I turn to look at the front of my parents’ house, not wanting Brandon to see me cry again. “I’m worthless. Why would she want me?”

  “Jesus, man, you’re all kinds of fucked up right now,” Brandon mutters shaking his head. “Did she say those words? That she wanted Blake over you? I’m telling you, you’re wrong about this.”

  I’m not. Even if there’s something off with the break-up, her engagement ring is still sitting heavily in my pocket instead of on her finger. If she just wanted some time to think before getting married, I would have given it to her. Instead, she called the whole thing off and gave me the ring back. That was an ultimate betrayal.

  I shake my head and reach for the door handle. “Look, I’m sorry. I thought I could do this … this talking it out shit, but I can’t. I’ll talk to you later.”


  “Hey, wait a sec. I need to tell you something else.” I brace my hands against the car door, impatient for him to say what he needs to so I can be the fuck alone. “Blake wasn’t just in an accident. It was a hit-and-run. Michael was the driver.”

  “Why…?” I take a deep breath and shake my head. “Fuck, I can’t think about this right now, Brandon. I need … I need some time.”

  “Yeah, I know, buddy. I wanted you to know, just in case it means something worse.”

  I slam the door shut and make my way to the front door. “Worse,” I say softly into the dark moist air.

  I stop my thoughts there, knowing I’m already on the brink of insanity and the idea of worse would have me crossing that line.

  “I’ll call you tomorrow! Don’t ignore me!” Brandon hollers out of the window before backing out of the driveway.

  I dismiss him with a wave. He knows as well as I do I won’t be answering that phone tomorrow. He saw me go off the deep end when Josie and I had that final fight in our last year of college. He watched me for weeks as I obsessively painted and wrecked everything that stood in my way.

  More than once, he took a punch from me, for no other reason than wanting to show me that he was sticking around even though I was being an asshole. He knows I need time, but he’ll keep badgering me in the process.

  Mom’s awake and in the kitchen when I walk in, a cup of hot tea steaming in her hand, wearing pink flannel pajamas. I realize now why I came into the main house instead of going to my room.

  “What’s wrong, baby?” Mom asks, worry shadowing her face. She sets her mug on the counter and wraps me in her arms. I tower over her petite frame, but her hug overpowers me still. Her hands reach up to grab my cheeks and her eyes gloss over when she sees the pain in my eyes. “What happened?”

  My mouth trembles against my will, and look over my mom’s shoulder, seeing nothing. “She left me, Mom,” I say. “It’s over.”

  The dam breaks as soon as I utter those words to my mother. I sob into her shoulder and she holds me through it, not asking any questions, fully aware that I just need my mom. Need time to mourn what I’ve lost.