That's a Relief (Promises, Promises Book 3)

by Victoria Klahr

  So she gives me that. I cry harder and longer than I’ve ever done before, and I feel the pieces of my heart shatter with every sob. Feel the loss so hard that I struggle to breathe.

  Josie means so much more to me than the flimsy relationships people experience every day. I love her with every breath I breathe. I love her to my core—a deep overpowering feeling that makes me crazy and owned, but also something that keeps me alive and feeling like I’m worth so much more than the pathetic man I would be without her in my life.

  I’ll never be the same again.

  Chapter 27

  Josie

  It’s amazing the things you hear when you become a comatose visitor in a hospital room. When you’re so numb to the world around you that people no longer hold back what they’re really thinking.

  Day one post break-up, the room was a flood of doctors, nurses, and loved ones coming to check on Blake. I kept to myself on my cot, staring out the window overlooking the parking lot as everyone fussed around Blake on the other side of the room.

  Brandon agreed to send Alec and Brooke away until Michael was caught. Breanna and Brody stood as far apart from each other as they could, and Blake pointedly ignored Brody through the whole visit, keeping his affections saved for his little sister. The police came to clarify a few details from the night before and told us there was no update on Michael’s whereabouts.

  I checked my phone every few minutes, wishing, hoping, dreading a message or call from Seth.

  I should’ve been happy there was none.

  I wasn’t.

  Day two post break-up was when conversations started getting more entertaining.

  I laid in my bed for the better part of the morning, staring at the wall and wondering if this was real life. I ignored the tenth call from my dad that day, but kept my phone clutched close to my body. Just in case…

  But there was nothing. And I felt like I became nothing. No one.

  In my state of perpetual pain, I heard the sweet southern voice of a girl I could’ve gone the rest of my life without seeing. Despite the fact that I hate her guts, I didn’t leave the room. Who the hell cares about past rivals when the present is too depressing to care about the future?

  “Goodness, you look worse than the untrained boys that walk into Rage, Blake.”

  “A big-ass piece of metal crushing your bones will do that to you, Alice. And let’s be honest, I’ve messed up some of your guys worse than this.”

  I watched their reflection in the window, a loving smile plastered to her lips, something so genuine and out of character that I almost allowed myself the opportunity to be intrigued by their relationship. Alice placed a tender kiss on Blake’s forehead, and he closed his eyes, a small smile settling on his face.

  For a while, she sat next to Blake and updated him on her father’s underground boxing and training gym, and for someone who has always come off as superficial, high strung, cunning, evil, callous, deceitful—well, you get the point—I was shocked to realize that she genuinely cared for her business.

  “Daddy keeps trying to get me out of there, sending me on pointless errands and setting me up on god-awful dates.”

  Blake shook his head. “I thought he was focusing on getting Wendy hitched.”

  Alice rolled her eyes and tapped her manicured fingernails against her thigh. “Wendy got engaged last week.” She flips her blond hair over her shoulder. “Now I’m even more of a disgrace for not settling down before my little sister. So, Daddy’s trying to take away Rage.”

  “C’mon, Alice. Even he has to know that you will be running that place one day.”

  She shrugged as if it didn’t bother her, but something about the way she looked down made me think it bothered her a lot. “A stinky gym is no place for a woman to make her life.” Before Blake can reply, she hitched her thumb in my direction. I stiffened and closed my eyes, feigning sleep. “Are you two back together? Is that why she’s here?”

  I didn’t have to see Blake to know and feel the regret in his stare. His voice turned soft as he replied, “No.” He paused. “No, she’s always been in love with someone else.”

  “I don’t get it,” Alice said, true bewilderment in her thick southern voice. “Does she have a magic vagina or something? How does she get the sexy best friend to fall in love with her and still have her ex pining after her? Oh. And I heard she’s got Brody wrapped around her tiny stupid finger, too.”

  “Brody’s in town,” Blake said, instead of answering her ridiculous—and quite possibly legitimate—question.

  “I heard that, too,” she said, growing quiet. Imagine—Alice, quiet! “And I heard Bree is, too.”

  They sat in silence for a couple minutes. Silence only the two of them seemed to understand.

  “Josie’s been through a lot. And a lot of that pain is hard to cope with,” Blake finally said, breaking the silence. “She doesn’t always handle it right, but she’s got a much better grip on herself than the situation calls for. She’s beautiful, but not just in a physical way. It’s in the way she throws herself into a charity project for LGBT rights. Or the way she swerves recklessly for a frog in the middle of the road. It’s in the way she finally realized she could love someone without her past holding her back.” He paused and my skin heated with embarrassment at overhearing something he never intended for me to know. “The fact that I’m not that guy is something I’m getting over.”

  “I wish I had fallen for you instead of your brother. Woulda been so much easier.”

  “Who wants easy when the hard and complicated makes for a much better story?”

  I heard movement and opened my eyes to see Alice leaning over and kissing Blake’s cheek. “Thanks for being my only real friend, Blake.

  “Al, don’t thank me for that. People just don’t understand.”

  “Well, anyway,” Alice said, shaking off whatever emotion she had been feeling. “Tell me when you’re ready to start physical training and I’ll set up a room for you at home.”

  Hmm. Maybe Blonde Bitch has an icy-cold heart hiding somewhere in that supermodel body.

  Day three post breakup, Brody came to visit by himself.

  I was sitting up on my cot, knees pulled into my chest, and focusing on the tiny cars pulling in and out of the hospital parking lot.

  I wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but I kept hoping I’d catch a glimpse of Seth. Hoped he ignored my request to stay away and would come back for me—which is so not fair.

  I was successfully ignoring the tension in the room, until Brody’s tone pulled my attention back to the two brothers. Still resting my head on my knees, I turned to face them, Brody’s fists balled tight and Blake shooting his brother a heated glare. The sight was enough to make my body tighten in response.

  “She’s safer there than at his house and you know it.”

  “I didn’t say that, brother. I said you shouldn’t be staying there if she’s there.”

  Brody leaned in and spoke so softly I had to strain to hear him. “When will you fucking let it go? I moved away. I’ve stayed away. She’ll always be part of my life. You can’t expect me to ignore her forever.”

  “You should. You should make it your goddamn mission to never go near her again.” Disgust dripped off of Blake’s words. “Stay away, Brody. I may be in the hospital now, but I won’t be soon.”

  Brody stood up abruptly. “Get off your fucking high horse, little brother. You know nothing. And you’ve never tried to.” He stalked to the door.

  “I don’t need to know anything other than what I saw that day. That was plenty.”

  Brody stilled and shook his downcast head, black hair falling in front of his face. I knew there was hostility between the two, but I had no idea it ran this deep. “If you just took the time, you’d know what I feel is—”

  “Wrong,” Blake spat.

  “Genuine.” Brody ran a hand through his hair. “There’s nothing nefarious about it.”

  “Get. Out,” Blake ground out, teeth
gritted in pure outrage.

  Brody looked my way and I saw the pain and guilt his little brother conjured up in the short visit. He offered a tight smile and walked out.

  Day four post-breakup, there was a new nurse on rotation, and I noticed Blake perking up every time she came in to check his vitals and administer new medications. He was sitting up more and trying like hell to prove he could get up and walk around the room. Luckily, the pretty nurse knew his limits and berated him every time he tried to get out of bed.

  Still suffering through random fits of morning sickness, I found myself tethered to the bathroom floor, vomiting everything I tried to eat or drink. Dealing with sickness all alone got old very quick. I missed the strong hands that used to comfort me and bring me back to health.

  But I gave that up the moment I gave him his ring back.

  So, as I inwardly groaned through the pain laying on the tile floor, I listened to the banter of nurse and patient in the other room.

  “I swear, Mr. Porter, I am not above flicking your casts to keep you in line.”

  I could practically hear Blake’s smirk. “Flick? That’s the damage you’d do?”

  “When you start walking again, you might just find out what kind of damage I can do.”

  “Well, that’s not nice.”

  “Know what else isn’t nice? Having your patient constantly ripping out their IV to prove they can be some macho dumbass.”

  Blake laughed and even I grinned through the growing sickness. Blake was obsessed with snarky women. There was a brief lull in conversation as she tapped on the computer next to Blake’s bed.

  “Is your girlfriend feeling okay?” she asked after I had another gagging fit.

  “If that is your not-so-subtle way of asking if I’m seeing anyone, then the answer in no.” Yep, bruised and immobile, Blake was still playing the field. “She’s just a friend.”

  “Unfortunately for you and your small-minded, egocentric brain, that wasn’t what I was asking at all. I wanted to make sure she doesn’t need to be admitted.”

  “You okay, Jo?” Blake called out.

  “Just peachy,” I muttered.

  “So anyway,” Blake started, satisfied with my miserable response, “When I’m up and running again, how about I take you rock climbing at Chimney Rock?”

  Blah. That’s the type of date he wants to go on? The nurse laughed, and I felt a little bad for Blake, finding another girl who has no interest in anything athletic.

  But then she said, “It’s cute you think you could actually keep up with me.”

  “That so?” Blake said. “Only one way to find out. What’s your name? And stop telling me Nurse Bowen.”

  There was a pause as I heard the door open. Then, just when I thought she had left him hanging, she said, “Echo.”

  “Beautiful,” Blake muttered as she closed the door to his room.

  After a couple minutes, I walked out and plopped down on my cot. Blake was sporting a lazy grin as he stared at the closed door.

  “I think you may have found your reason to get over me,” I mumbled as I got under the covers, ready for another nap.

  Blake’s grin widened, and he leaned his head back to stare at the ceiling. “Yeah. I think so too.”

  Day five post-breakup, Brandon stopped by to check up on Blake and to inform us that the police have no new leads on where Michael might be hiding out.

  Their only assumption is that he had a hideout prepared if he had to run from the police. With his resources, he could be anywhere.

  Brandon pulled me aside once Blake passed out from his pain meds. I knew right away that Brandon was going to say his name—was going to tell me how he was doing-- and I didn’t know if I could keep it together if he did.

  “How are you feeling?” he asked. “How’s the baby?”

  I took a deep breath, and despite trying to stay strong, tears prickled my eyes. Is this Seth asking? Or Brooke? Would he run to Seth and let him know how I’m doing? Would Seth care?

  “I’m fine,” I answered, looking at the floor. “As far as I know, the baby is okay.”

  “Good,” he muttered, shuffling his weight between his feet, as if deciding whether or not he should say anything else. “He’s a mess, Josie.”

  My lip trembled and I refused to look at Brandon—the only friend Seth has right now.

  “I don’t understand what happened, and I might never, but my best friend is in pain, and the only person who can make it better is hiding out in my brother’s hospital room.” The accusation was clear in his voice. He paused and rubbed a hand over his face. “Do you have any idea what this is doing to him? I can’t reconcile the girl from a week ago who was disgustingly in love with him with this one here, cowering in the same room as her ex. It doesn’t make sense, Josie.”

  “I know,” I said, shame burning. Seth must not be doing well at all for Brandon to confront me about this.

  A disbelieving laugh made me look up into Brandon’s pinched face. “It’s amazing that he still manages to come here every day to make sure you’re safe, and you can’t even conjure an ounce of sympathy for the man you ripped apart.”

  My whole body seized. He can’t be here. If Michael finds out, he’ll think Seth and I are still together even though we cancelled the wedding.

  I suddenly didn’t care about playing it safe anymore. My nightmares were on the verge of becoming reality, and I had to do something about it.

  “Brandon,” I croaked in fear. “I can’t explain this to you right now, and I’m sorry, but I need you to make sure Seth is safe tonight.” I swallowed hard and swiped hard at some intermittent tears. “Get him out of here, and … god, just make sure he doesn’t die, okay?”

  Brandon’s brows slanted down. “Is there a reason I should be worried he might die, Josie?” he asked quietly, visibly unsettled.

  “Yes,” I answered in a rough breath. It was the night before our wedding, and the threat was pounding in my skull. Michael might be on the run, but I knew deep down that he would do whatever he could to hurt me. If Seth isn’t keeping his distance like I had hoped, then Michael would kill him. “Make sure he’s safe tonight, Brandon. Please.”

  Brandon left with a nod and a promise to keep an eye on Seth, and I paced Blake’s hospital room trying to figure out what I was doing with my life.

  I needed to stop hiding out in Blake’s room. For so many years, I refused to rely on anyone else to help me get better. I needed to dig deep and find that part of myself again so I could face the coming storm.

  Michael is out there, and I pushed away the one person who had my back. I needed to leave this illusion of safety and prepare for the fight ahead.

  For my life. For Seth’s. For our baby.

  Chapter 28

  Josie

  Today is my wedding day.

  It’s been six days since I decided I needed to break ties with Seth, and every day I wonder if I made a huge mistake.

  I wake up gasping for breath, my hand flying to my heaving chest as I will away the tears from my reoccurring nightmare.

  “You say his name constantly when you sleep,” Blake says quietly.

  I turn to face him and notice how tired he looks. He rolls his head to the side to meet my gaze. “Even before, when we were together, you always said his name. It drove me nuts. I wanted to make a life with you, but I couldn’t even stay the night when I had to hear you whisper his name every time I pulled you in my arms.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  Seth told me once before that I say his name when I sleep. I didn’t realize it was so frequently. Seth and I have been inseparable since we were six years old, though. Any time I was sick, hurt, angry or sad, Seth was there for me, and I was there for him. We created this bond and loyalty that no one can compete with. So, saying his name while I sleep makes sense. I’ve always needed him.

  Blake shrugs at my apology and pulls his gaze away from mine, still looking fragile despite his rapid healing.

  “I’
m not looking for sympathy, Jo. I just want you to understand that no matter how much logic you think you’ve put into a decision, the outcome might still suck. You call for your Seth for a reason. You two function better together than apart.”

  Boy, isn’t that the truth. I feel so lost without him. “I know I could be wrong, Blake. I know I made the biggest mistake of my life the other day. But it’s worth it to have him hate me for giving his ring back than to live in a world where he is dead. He saved me once before. I refuse to risk his life to try and save me again.”

  Blake makes a frustrated sound and turns back to me. “You can’t guarantee anyone’s safety, Josie. Michael is crazy—way worse since he was released from prison. He may be angry right now, but Seth would be devastated if anything happened to you, and he would always blame himself for not protecting you. And honestly? Michael could still go after him. You’re giving up precious time for the unknown.” He gives me a weighted stare. “Your plan sucks, Josie.”

  I don’t know what to say or how to respond, so I opt for silence, picking up my phone and scurrying into the bathroom.

  I’ve gone six days without a text from Michael.

  While a part of me hoped he had given up, the logical part of me understood he was trying to inflict more fear through his silence. What could he be doing? Where is he? Is he going to kill me?

  Anxiety keeps me awake at night. Fear plagues me every time I walk around by myself.

  If his intention last week was to make me live in terror, I’d say he succeeded.

  Today is different. I know before turning my phone on that I’ll be seeing a message from him. The one thing I’ve learned about my rapist this last month is his penchant for words. He likes to talk.

  He wouldn’t let my wedding day pass without saying something. If my nightmares are any sort of reality, then I expect to find a gruesome picture of Seth’s dead body.

  The need to know overwhelms me. I need to know if Seth is safe. If my plan worked, and maybe—just maybe—I may be able to let this nightmare go. I tap the waiting message in my inbox.