That's a Relief (Promises, Promises Book 3)

by Victoria Klahr

  Mom looks confused as she stares up at me. “Of course. I’ve been going over to Tony’s house every Sunday. We go to the cemetery and then have dinner.”

  “She’s doing good, then? Better?” I ask. Despite everything she did to me and despite the fact that I’ve vowed to let her go completely, I can’t stop myself from wanting to know how she is. I need to know.

  A couple months ago, she would never have agreed to seeing a psychiatrist. What happened? Was this all too much on her? Is it because I haven’t been there for her?

  Mom’s face falls. “Better.” She nods. “Seth, she always asks about you. She still loves you, baby.”

  I shake my head hard. No. I can’t have these thoughts floating in my head. I need to hate her. I need to let go of her. “Mom, stop. It’s over. She made that real fucking clear.”

  My mom sends me a hard look and I cringe under her scrutiny. “Watch your mouth and listen up,” she says in that voice that demands you to shut up and listen. “You are making a big mistake with her. I don’t give a damn how many times you’ve had to fight for her in the past. I don’t care how many times you two break each other’s hearts. What matters is that you both love each other and that should overcome any and all the bullshit you two put yourselves through.” She sighs and sits back in her chair, the old wood creaking. “Now, she made a mistake. I see it in her eyes every time I look at her. And you’re hurt and you feel guilty. Know what I have to say to that?”

  I raise a brow, waiting for her to continue.

  “Well, I say get the fuck over it. I lost your Dad and I’m not getting him back. I’ll never be able to see him smile or hear him laugh or say I love you again.” She stands and slams both palms onto the table, keeping her gaze on mine. “You almost lost her forever, Seth. You watched her almost die. There is no excuse to keep pushing her away when, by some miracle, she is still alive. Dad wouldn’t want to see this. And I sure as hell don’t.”

  She walks into the kitchen and opens the fridge to grab the sweat tea. “Get our girl back, Seth. Take pictures again. You are alive, so live.”

  Chapter 38

  Josie

  The scar looks angry. Red. Long. Jagged.

  Phantom pain shoots through me just staring at it. The sharp slice that I thought for sure had killed me. Maybe it did—kill me, I mean. Parts of me have died.

  I look at the scar and see every mistake I ever made. I see the baby that should be healthy and growing inside me right now. I see the man Seth had to murder in order to protect me. I see Seth’s blue-green eyes, desperate and afraid as I slip into death’s grasp.

  When I see this stupid scar, I wonder if this was the Universe getting back at me for having an abortion two years ago. Seth would assure me that it had nothing to with that, but I think karma is real.

  But Seth isn’t here. Seth’s so lost in his own depression and anger that I can’t count on him to help me through these melancholy moments.

  Releasing a sigh, I let the dress fall back into place and step away from the mirror. Luckily, the therapy everyone pushed me to go to has been helping me. Every day I force myself to find something beautiful in the world to make up for the ugly things Michael put me through. Every day, I get a tiny bit better.

  “Okay, Dad,” I holler as I run down the stairs. “I’m on my way to Brooke’s house.” Dad walks in from the garage and nods his head. “Geez, Dad. Stop talking my ear off, I’m trying to leave.”

  That gets a smirk out of him. “Have fun and be careful.”

  I give him a big hug. “Tell me one more thing about Daddy first.”

  He lets me go and smiles, picking up my packed bag to bring to my car. “He would kill me if I told you this, but Daddy hated when you started playing an instrument in school.”

  “What? You’re lying. Daddy loved it when I played the violin.”

  Dad barks a laugh. “He used to hide in the treehouse just to get away from you practicing.” I make a face. “He even paid Seth twenty bucks to convince you to quit.”

  “Hey! Seth didn’t … Wait. Hmm. I guess it was Seth that made me quit. He said my violin playing made him want to stab his drumsticks in his ears, and that I should never disrespect music again by touching an instrument.” I purse my lips and glare at my smiling dad. “I cried for a week!”

  He shrugs and closes my trunk. “You asked.”

  “I was hoping for something sweet. Not that.”

  Dad opens my car door for me. “It is sweet. He paid your best friend to break your heart because he could never tell his princess that she had absolutely no future in music.”

  I finally crack a smile and get into my car. “Thanks, Dad.”

  “No problem, Josie Bean.” He gets serious for a moment. “You give that boy hell for me this weekend, okay?”

  I smirk and tip my head in his direction.

  I call Brooke when I get on the highway to let her know I’m on my way over and am disappointed when she gets off the phone quickly.

  I try everything to keep my thoughts away from last night—away from the disgust I saw in Seth’s eyes as he left me thoroughly fucked and alone.

  I don’t believe you.

  I keep vacillating between wanting to punch him in his junk when I see him again and begging for forgiveness. I thought sex would help him see what we are together, but Brooke was right: our relationship is about so much more than sex. We were best friends before anything else, so after crying for a couple hours this morning, I decided I needed to try a different approach.

  I’d be his best friend again.

  Yeah, yeah. Even I’m laughing at myself.

  But the truth is, I have no clue how to fight for him, how to show him I will never love anyone as much as I love him. I don’t know how to reach him when he’s this far gone.

  I turn up the radio and try to let One Direction calm my nerves and anger and fear. By the time I pull into Brooke and Brandon’s driveway, I’ve successfully butchered five songs and made the neighbor’s dogs howl.

  I stick my tongue out at the Chihuahua glaring at me from the next door neighbor’s porch and let myself in. “Brookey-Poo!” I call out, setting my luggage down next to the staircase. “Give me my godson. He is in desperate need of Aunt Josie’s kisses.”

  She hops down the stairs to meet me, sans baby. “I already took him to Joyce’s house.”

  I frown and glare at her. “You are an evil best friend.”

  “It’s an all-adult weekend. Mommy really needs this.” It’s then that I notice the empty margarita glass in her hand.

  “Damn, girl. You wasted no time.” I look at my phone and laugh when I see it’s only three o’clock.

  “With all the drama that’s about to start, you’re gonna be wishing you had a couple of these in you, too.”

  A frown starts on my face, but Brooke gives nothing away as she walks toward her living room.

  I stand still when I see him.

  I close my eyes when I hear his voice.

  I breathe hard when I’m assaulted with the memories of last night.

  His hands, frantic on my body. His breath in my hair. The pure satisfaction he coaxed my body into.

  I open my eyes, and really start leaning toward punching him in his junk.

  “You could’ve freaking warned me,” I mumble to Brooke.

  She sticks a glass of something alcoholic in my hand, and I drink it down as quickly as I can. Surely, I’m seeing this wrong. Seth is not right in front of me with his hands all over another girl.

  Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating. But is it really necessary to be that close when teaching your best friend’s sister how to play an instrument? She’s touching his guitar! He won’t even let me near it.

  “Aw, what’s the fun in that?” she asks, sitting on the edge of the couch.

  Breanna mumbles something too low for me to hear, and I’m instantly jealous when Seth rewards her with one of his famous flirty grins. She’s certainly not immune to it. Her cheeks redden as she
looks back down to where his hands are covering hers on the strings of the guitar.

  “I’m going to rip his balls off,” I grumble.

  Brooke cackles, falling back on the couch and kicking her legs. Seth looks up then and straightens when he sees me. When his eyes travel down my body, I instantly wish I had attempted to do my hair and put on makeup.

  He takes my breath away when he reaches my eyes again. I want to run up to him and slap him. Then kiss him. Then kick him in his balls. But I don’t do any of those things, because he dismisses me just as quickly as he notices me and turns back to Breanna.

  It feels like a punch in the gut. Stomping to the kitchen, I have to take deep breaths to try to calm the fuck down. I pour another drink and down that faster than the first one.

  Fuck being his friend. Fuck all my plans to get him to trust me again.

  No. I will not lie down and let him take his anger out on me, simply because I feel guilty. I have my reasons for what I did, and I will handcuff him to the bed to make him hear me out if I have to.

  “Oh, man. You should see your face right now,” Brooke says, laughing.

  “You really are the worst, Brooke.”

  “Oh, come on! This is gold entertainment. Wait ‘til Brody gets here and sees that. I’ve been dying to watch him lose his cool.”

  I look up at her sharply. “You noticed that, too?”

  Brooke pours herself a glass of wine and looks around conspiratorially. “Oh, yeah. Def. Don’t tell Brandon, though. I’m not sure how he’d react if he knew his brother had the hots for his sister.”

  I cringe at the word-choice. I’m about to remind her that they aren’t technically related when I hear Seth start to sing. A soft, feminine voice joins his and my eyes widen at Brooke.

  “You have got to be fucking kidding me!”

  “Aw. They sound so sweet together,” Brooke says in a sing-song voice. I don’t miss the mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

  “How bad would I look if I ripped the guitar away from her and threw it across the room?”

  Brooke spits out her sip of wine and cracks up. “Oh, man. Please wait until I have my camera ready. I wanna play it at your wedding.”

  My smile vanishes. Will we ever get married now? Can I convince him that I’m worth spending the rest of his life with?

  Brooke’s hand slides over mine. “Hey, if it’s any constellation, he wasn’t anywhere near that close to her before he saw you walk into the room.”

  “Consolation,” I correct. “And yes, that makes me feel a little better.”

  “Please tell me you two are drunk enough to start making out,” Brandon’s voice cuts in. He walks in from the back door and wraps his arms around our shoulders. Brooke grins widely at him, a girl totally in love with her crazy man, then looks at me waggling her eyebrows.

  “We’re getting’ there, baby.”

  Rolling my eyes, I slip out from under Brandon’s arm and turn around to find Brody walking in the back door with his phone to his ear.

  “Call him and don’t get off the phone until I have a signed contract on my desk. No. Under no circumstances do you lower the amount. Get it done, and don’t bother me for the rest of the weekend. I’ll be back in the office on Monday.” Brody ends the call and slips his phone into the pocket of his dress slacks. He sighs and loosens his tie as he looks up.

  He flashes me a devil-may-care grin and picks me up, twirling me around in a big bear hug. “There’s my girl!”

  “My favorite Porter brother,” I squeal.

  “Hey!” Brandon complains, pouting.

  “I missed you,” I say, smiling up at the huge guy who just so happened to become a really close friend. It’s been a couple weeks since I’ve seen him, but we text each other almost every day.

  “How are you feeling?”

  “I’m feeling a lot better since the last time you saw me.”

  The last time he came to see me, I was still contemplating the point of staying alive. In fact, … well, the point is, I am alive. Between Dad, Brooke, and Brody, I finally caved and started seeing a therapist.

  His head jerks up when he hears Breanna’s voice get stronger in the middle of her duet with Seth. I’m not sure how it’s possible, but his grin grows wider, and he looks at Brandon.

  “She’s singing,” he says, stating the obvious.

  Brandon smiles back and nods. “Been a while, huh?”

  Brody closes his eyes briefly, smile still on his face. “Yeah,” he says on a sigh. Wrapping an arm around my shoulders, he steers me right back in the direction I had to escape a few minutes ago.

  I look back at Brooke who smiles giddily and starts skipping alongside us. Seriously. Skipping.

  We all walk back into the living room, my heart pounding painfully against my ribs. I should’ve had another shot before coming back out here. Brody tenses as soon as we get close enough to see Seth and Breanna on that stupidly small piano bench. Really, why is it so freaking tiny? The piano is huge.

  Seth plays the melody on the keys, looking at Breanna as she sings her part of the Green Day song that Seth knows I love so much. I want to hate him in this moment. I want to hate her for being the one who was able to get that look in his eyes. But I can’t. Because he looks so peaceful. He looks happy.

  The darkness and anger is gone. They look into each other’s eyes as they sing the last of the song together—lines that are intimate and hauntingly beautiful. I swallow back the pain suffocating my throat.

  They smile when they sing the last note of “Last Night on Earth”. I hadn’t realized Brody had let go and started making his way toward them until the song ends.

  “What the fuck is this?”

  Chapter 39

  Josie

  Seth and Breanna both turn their head toward Brody’s voice. Seth’s eyes find mine, and his lips twitch subtly.

  Someone is real fucking cocky today, and I’m getting close to following through with destroying his man parts.

  Breanna cringes and wraps her arms around herself, letting her ebony hair fall over her eyes.

  “Dammit,” Brody mumbles under his breath.

  Brooke snickers from the couch, and Brody runs his hand through his long hair. I slide a look at Brooke and notice her sitting cross-legged, a glass of wine in one hand and a bag of popcorn in the other. I swear. Fucking popcorn.

  I shake my head and look back at Seth. The guard he let down with Breanna creeps back up, but he doesn’t take his eyes off me, and I take that as some form of success.

  “I’m so sorry, Breanna,” Brody says, walking up to Breanna and tugging on her hand to pull her away from Seth. He walks her to the opposite side of the room where they sit in a loveseat and talk in hushed whispers.

  “Aw, man,” Brooke groans. She looks at Brandon and pouts. “Can you make them talk louder?”

  Before I realize I’m doing it, I’m sitting next to Seth on the piano bench, our backs to the rest of the room. I trail my fingers along the cool, smooth keys. Seth’s hand reaches out to grab it before I can press down.

  “I really don’t want my ears to bleed today,” he says quietly. Teasingly?

  He doesn’t take his hand off mine at first, and I have to force myself to remember to breathe. It’s ridiculous, really. When did I turn into such a sap? Someone so desperate for this one man’s affection? My heart falls when he pulls away.

  We sit in silence for a few moments. I let my leg fall against his and he doesn’t make an attempt to pull away. “Did Daddy pay you off to get me to quit playing the violin?”

  He tries to hide his grin by dipping his head and playing a soft melody on the piano keys—his long, talented-in-more-ways-than-one fingers gliding against the ivory in a hypnotizing way. “You were really bad,” he says finally, still trying to suppress the tilt of his lips.

  “God, I’ve missed your smile,” I say softly. I’m not sure he heard me until his face falls and a scowl replaces his smile. My hand flies to his leg. “No. Don’t do t
hat, please. I miss you so much.”

  Confusion clouds his eyes and he shakes his head. His music stops abruptly and he bows his head. I watch his lips move in a silent discussion with himself, but get distracted when he starts snapping the rubber band on his wrist.

  I grab his hand and pull it to my chest, my heart breaking. “Seth—”

  He whips his eyes to meet mine and yanks his hand back from my grasp. “Don’t you dare. Don’t pretend like you can make this better when this is all your fault.”

  I don’t want to give him the satisfaction, but I gasp in shock anyway. It’s not like I don’t know I’ve made mistakes, but to hear him come right out and say it like that kills something inside me. Murders the small glimpse of hope I had just a moment ago.

  A cell phone rings in the distance as I look away from Seth’s eyes. Eyes that portray everything he’s feeling inside. I should appreciate his honesty in this moment, but I can’t. I resent him for blaming me and pushing me away.

  I back away from the piano, unsure of what to do anymore. I want to be sympathetic and understanding, but I am so freaking sick of sitting back and letting him show nothing but indifference toward me.

  “Brandon,” Brody yells, distracting me. My foot catches on the leg of the piano bench, and I know in an instant my ass about to hurt something fierce. Before I fall backward, Seth’s arm darts out and wraps around my waist.

  “Thanks,” I breathe.

  His blue eyes search mine for a moment, his chest rising with deep breaths. His fingers dig into my side, and he narrows his eyes. Shrugging one of his shoulders, he lets go and sits back down at the piano. This time, overlooking the living room.

  I turn to Brody who is staring at his phone angrily, typing something onto his screen. “You need to confirm your move date to Seattle with the contractors, or we won’t be able to finalize all the paperwork on time. They won’t move forward until they hear from you first. And I’m really sick of doing your job for you. The whole point of putting you in charge of the Seattle office was so I wouldn’t have to oversee every damn detail.”