That's a Relief (Promises, Promises Book 3)

by Victoria Klahr

  He looks up to find us all staring at him. Me with wide eyes and slack jaw. Seth, eyebrows raised. I look behind me and see an annoyed Brandon and a shocked Brooke.

  “What?” Brooke shrieks, shooting up from the couch, popcorn spilling onto the carpet. She points her manicured finger in Brody’s direction. “What the fuck is he talking about, Brandon?”

  “You haven’t told her yet?” Brody asks, running a hand through his hair, eyes about as wide as mine.

  “No, asshole,” Brandon mumbles under his breath, trying to reach for Brooke.

  “Brandon,” Brody starts, chastising, “the factory opens the first of the year. You have to leave in a month, and you haven’t made plans to move?”

  While Brody stresses over his business, Brooke freaks out on Brandon and throws her glass of wine in his face.

  “Brooke,” Brandon implores, wiping the red wine from his eyes. “I swear I was going to tell you. With everything going down lately it hasn’t been a good time.”

  Angry butterflies cut into my stomach. Brooke is leaving. The only friend I have left, and she’s about to leave across the country. My godson won’t be a car drive away anymore. My hand flies to my chest and I can’t breathe.

  “Shut up!” Brooke screams. “Shut up, shut up, shut up!” She stomps her foot and screams. Brooke having a fit is not good. Calming her down could take hours. Or days. She marches out of the room and up the stairs, Brandon following closely behind her trying to explain himself.

  In the silence, I realize I’m on the verge of hyperventilating. I can’t catch my breath. My hands shake and I claw at my chest. This can’t be happening! Not after I’ve lost everything else in my life. I can’t lose my best friend, too.

  I turn around and watch Seth play with his guitar as if a bomb hadn’t just landed on all of us.

  “You knew,” I accuse quietly, tears stinging.

  He finally looks up, assessing me silently for a moment before shrugging his shoulders and strumming a few chords on the guitar.

  “You knew?” I ask louder, stepping in front of him. His jaw ticks, but he doesn’t make any effort to explain or acknowledge the fact that my world is falling apart, and he knew the whole fucking time. “Look at me,” I scream.

  He continues to play, but raises an eyebrow, sending me a sarcastic smirk. He shrugs again and I scream in frustration. Before I realize I’m doing it, I’m rushing forward and snatching his guitar from his hands.

  “Would you stop pretending to be so freaking apathetic?”

  “Would you stop pretending like you give a shit?” he fires back, standing and reaching for his guitar. I pull it away and glare at him.

  “I do give a shit. I didn’t survive everything just to sit back and not live life.”

  Seth spreads his arms out in an obnoxious gesture. “I’m living just fine without you, Josie. The best thing you ever did was not marry me. Trust me.”

  I let out another frustrated yell. “Would you fucking stop?”

  He reaches out for the guitar again, but I walk backwards and hide it behind my back. He narrows his eyes and his jaw tightens in obvious anger. “Would you give me back my fucking guitar?”

  “Why wouldn’t you tell me about them moving to Seattle?” My voice is raw and my throat burns. “Why were you always keeping things from me?”

  “Keeping things from you?” he exclaims. “This coming from the girl who was fucking around with another man behind my back! This from the girl who was with another man only a half hour before coming home and fucking me like there was nothing wrong.”

  “If you would talk to me instead of running in the other direction, I could explain it all to you!”

  “I don’t want to hear it!” he roars, face reddening. “I’m so fucking sick of your bullshit and explanations. There’s always something. You always break my heart for a reason and I always forgive you, and I’m fucking sick of it!”

  My body flinches at his words. “Seth, please,” I beg. “Give me one more chance to make this right. I promise I will never hurt you again.”

  “Your promises are worthless to me,” he snarls. “The fact that you can stand there with your head held high demanding answers from me is fucking rich.”

  “We were engaged, Seth. You knew my best friend was leaving, and you didn’t tell me! So much for building this relationship on the truth!”

  “It wasn’t my business to tell! How fucking dare you get in my goddamn face and preach about honesty when you were fucking someone else behind my back!”

  “I was never fucking Blake!” I cry out. So not the place I wanted to have this discussion. “I would never do that to you, Seth.”

  Seth gets closer, chest almost touching mine. “Wouldn’t you?” he asks in a low voice. He leans down, blue eyes hard and searching mine. He licks his lips. “You wouldn’t use me like you’ve done a million times before?”

  “No!” I exclaim, eyes stinging and chest aching. “I love you, Seth.”

  “Don’t say that to me!” he growls, gripping the hair at his head. His eyes look wild and unstable. “You lost that right a month ago.”

  He stands still, watching me and breathing hard. After a moment, the wildness in his eyes settles and in its place is the apathetic asshole from earlier. He smirks, and I immediately want to slap it off his face.

  “Of course, if you’re looking for a good fuck like last night, then I’d be down for that. You fuck so good that even I can’t say no to that sweet—”

  A resounding slap echoes in the living room. I pull my stinging hand away from Seth’s surprised face and start to tremble. Partly from shock and partly from anger.

  “Fuck you, Seth,” I spit. My nerves are like pinpricks against my skin.

  He moves so quickly I don’t even see him coming until his chest is pressed against mine. “Fuck you, Josie. Fuck you and your fucking superior bitchy attitude. You’re not better than me. Definitely no better than any of the other bitches I’ve fucked who thought they could screw their way into my heart.”

  “Ahhh,” I scream, face heating in embarrassment and resentment. I shove his shoulders to push him away from me. I’ve never felt so angry in my entire life. “You’re such a dick, Seth!”

  Anger burning in his eyes, he pushes his way back into my space, menacing and scary. The turmoil in face is so unlike anything I’ve ever seen in him. “And you’re a fucking cunt,” he yells back, wringing a gasp out of me.

  “Hey!” Brody shouts, getting between us and shoving Seth back. Seth would never hurt me physically, but this Seth is so much different from the person I’ve loved for so long. “Both of you need to calm the fuck down.”

  Seth glares at me over Brody’s shoulder. “Give me my guitar back,” he says, his voice rough.

  I roll my eyes. Overflowing with rage, I throw his stupid guitar right at his stupid face. He ducks and I grin in sick satisfaction when I hear a crack in the wood.

  “Are you fucking kidding me right now?” he roars.

  “Josie,” Brody says, eyes wide. He turns my shoulders in the direction of the door. “Walk it off.” He turns to talk to Seth. “Get a fucking drink and calm the fuck down.” To Breanna, who is sitting with her knees pulled to her chest watching us with wide eyes, he says, “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

  He grabs my hand and leads me out the door and into the fresh crisp air. We walk to a nearby bench and I slump into the seat.

  “Well, that was a nightmare,” he says, sitting down next to me.

  I run my hands over my face and start shaking. The laughter bubbles in tiny bursts until it gains momentum and I’m clenching my stomach. Once it starts, I can’t stop. Tears stream down my cheeks and I’m gasping for air.

  Brody looks down at me, thoroughly confused and trying not to smile. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

  I hiccup and try to stop my laughter. When I do, I lean my head against his shoulder. “I’m so messed up,” I admit. “But Seth was fighting with me.” I look
up at Brody and smile. “Fighting. Not ignoring me and walking away. Full-on fighting. And do you know what comes from the two of us fighting?”

  “I don’t know if I want to know the answer to that.”

  “Well, sex, obviously,” I say, rolling my eyes. “But for us? Josie and Seth? It makes us closer.”

  Brody shakes his head and sighs. “Yeah, you’re all kinds of messed up.”

  Chapter 40

  Seth

  The strong amber liquid burns my throat on the way down, the numbness of the liquor welcoming to my aching chest. The fire in my belly kindles and I’m quick to take another drink. I want more numbness. More burn.

  I want less of this anger and resentment Josie stirred inside me.

  How dare she stand there like she’s better than me, begrudging me on honesty?

  I hold the bottle of Jack Daniels in my hand, and contemplate for a moment if I should cut back. Then the sting in my cheek says fuck that and I take another long draw.

  I can’t believe she slapped me. And threw my guitar at me!

  I lean against the kitchen counter and look up at the ceiling. My lips twitch, and I try to bite back the smile. How can I be so pissed at her and still want to laugh that she got so angry that she threw and broke my favorite guitar?

  Damn. That fire in her looked so good.

  It’s what I’ve always loved about her—about being with her. I frown and take another drink of the bottle. But it’s also the thing I’ve tried to stay away from for the past month. Avoiding her makes it easier to hate her. Fighting with her leads to passion which leads to the truth which puts us right back into each other’s arms.

  She’ll never love you like she did before.

  But she still wants me, which means she must not hate me after everything I’ve done.

  Or she wants you because she’s always liked to use you. You’re her security blanket. Nothing more.

  I groan in frustration and chug another gulp of the whiskey. My head becomes disoriented, and the voice grows quiet.

  Brandon walks into the kitchen and steals the bottle from my hand. He takes a good sized drink from it and slams it on the counter next to me.

  “Please tell me that wasn’t full when you started drinking it,” he says, hopping up on the counter across from me.

  “Fuck yeah it was full. After all that, can you blame me?”

  Reaching up into the counter behind him, he grabs a large bottle of Bacardi and takes a healthy swig of that. “Nope. Not today, dude.” We take a drink in unison. He bangs his head against the cabinet and groans. “Man, she is so pissed. I can’t believe Brody just put that shit out there like that.”

  “You should’ve told her sooner. I can’t believe you waited this long.”

  “Not that you care or anything, but she’s been stressed enough about everything going on with Josie.”

  “Josie seems to be doing just fine. In fact, she was just bragging about how she’s living life.” I bring the bottle back to my mouth, but it’s snatched away before I can get a drink.

  Brandon stands in front of me, his dark-brown hair covering half the glare he throws at me. Brandon rarely shows any anger, so I’m shocked to see so much of it directed at me.

  “Josie’s bragging about living life for two reasons, Seth. One, my dad almost killed her and she made it out alive because you saved her life. Two, because she was minutes away from taking a full bottle of painkillers when Brooke and Brody walked in and stopped her.” He slams the bottle on the counter.

  My throat burns and my chest tightens. “What?” I finally say, voice tight. I can’t be hearing this right. My heartbeat roars in my ears.

  Brandon blows the hair out of his eyes. “I wanted to hate her as much as you did when she called off the wedding. But, dude, you didn’t see her after. You didn’t even care. Brooke has been killing herself taking care of Alec and making sure Josie is keeping herself healthy and alive ever since that day.”

  I can’t process anything he’s saying. The only thing I see is Josie’s pale face, eyes dying as death tries to take her from me. My hands ball into fists, and I breathe hard. “She tried to kill herself?”

  Brandon sighs, grabs the rum, and slides to the floor. I sit down next to him, waiting for an answer.

  “Yeah. It scared the shit out of Brooke. She was crying for days after.” He shakes his head. “She had a note written and everything. Brooke thought Josie was doing better. She seemed determined to win you back, but I guess she snapped.”

  Fire burns in my stomach, licking its way up to my throat. Not her. My Josie never would have tried to kill herself. Never would have written a note.

  He takes a deep breath and continues, “It was about a week after the funeral. Brooke and Brody wanted to check on her, and Tony mentioned she had been in the bathroom for a while crying. He couldn’t get her to come out, so Brody broke down the door. They found her lying on the floor, hands filled with pills. Josie had already taken half the bottle, but Brooke and Brody got there before she swallowed the rest. They rushed her to the hospital and Josie agreed to outpatient treatment. She’s been doing a hell of a lot better since.”

  He takes a long drink of the rum, making a face as it goes down. “Brooke’s been a wreck since then. She’s careful with everything she says, not sure if it will trigger another meltdown. Moving is the absolute last thing Brooke needed to know about. I didn’t want her to feel torn between being with her best friend who she almost lost twice in as many weeks, and moving to Seattle for me.”

  “Why the fuck did no one tell me about this?” I ask when he’s done, angry and heartbroken about… everything. I’ve been wallowing in self-pity for weeks, and meanwhile, the girl I love and hate and really fucking love was trying to kill herself. The anguish never fucking ends. My life has become an endless stream of bad news.

  “Well, you haven’t exactly been a ray of sunshine, Seth. And you told me specifically to shut up about Josie or risk getting punched in the face.”

  A roar of some sort works its way through my chest, and I’m seconds from throwing the bottle of liquor across the kitchen. Brandon cradles it in time to save it from my destruction. I want to hit something. To kill this depression clinging inside me and get back to the way things used to be.

  I want to be the guy she used to love and need, but he’s so fucking lost, I don’t know if he’ll ever come back. She deserves so much more than this broken piece of shit sitting on this tile floor. “I want to hate her, Brandon. I want to push her as far away as I possibly can and never look back.”

  He puts his arm around me. “Yeah, I know, buddy. She fucked up pretty bad, but I think you’re fucking it up worse by not hearing her out.”

  I snap the bands on my wrist. Harder and harder, they hit my raw skin. I came to Brooke and Brandon’s house to see her. Even if I would never admit that to anyone else, especially her, it’s the truth. Because even when I despise her, I am so in love with her.

  And I called her a cunt.

  “Man, I’m such a dick,” I mumble, banging my head against the cabinet.

  Brandon laughs. “We don’t hold it against you. You’ve been through a lot. We all handle our grief differently. You like to punch people, drink, and be a dick.” He shrugs and sends me a grin. “We love you anyway.”

  “Why?” I ask. The voice has been quiet since I started drinking, but the lingering words never leave. The blood on my hands never washes away.

  “Why, what?”

  “Why do you still love me? How can you sit here with me in your home and call me your best friend after everything I did?”

  His brown eyes squint in confusion. “I mean, you’re a dick sometimes, but you’re my best—”

  “No,” I say, frustrated. I never wanted to bring this up with him, but I don’t understand his loyalty to me. “No, I mean, I killed your dad, Brandon. To me, he was the fucker who raped and stabbed the girl I love, but to you? He was the man who raised you. And you have his murderer
sitting next to you in your house, drinking your liquor. How is that possible?”

  Brandon crosses his arms over his knees and looks out into the living room. I follow his gaze to find Brody and Breanna sitting on the couch, smiling and talking. Brandon releases a long breath. “First and foremost, Josie is family. She’s Brooke’s best friend, the only one Brooke can really count on, and for that I love her like family. I mean, we’ve all been friends for five years now, so what my father did to her was personal.”

  He looks back at me for a moment and runs a hand through his hair, twisting his lips like he’s not sure how to continue. He turns his gaze on his brother and sister. “But I’ve hated him for a lot longer than I’ve known you and Josie.”

  I get up and grab two beers from the fridge. I hand him one and settle back down on the floor. “You can hate someone and still resent that they’re dead.”

  “Not with him, Seth,” he says, shaking his head. “I wish I had been strong enough to do what you did. I wish I could have done it years ago.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “You think Josie was really the first person he hurt? That the most careful and polished man I’ve ever seen decided one day to take advantage of a random girl?” He nods his head in Brody’s direction. “He doesn’t think I know what he did for us, but I do. Brody took it all so that Blake, Breanna, and I would never have to be molested by our dad.” He takes a deep breath and another long drink of his beer. “Except he wasn’t alone. And when he found out what Dad was doing to Breanna when Brody wasn’t there to stop it, he had everything planned to get her out.”

  “What happened?” I ask, heart pounding like a drum.

  Brandon swallows hard and shoots me a sympathetic look. “Josie happened. Her fate was their salvation. She’ll never know exactly what she saved them from by being another one of his victims.” Brandon sits back and twists, trying to crack his back. “Don’t say anything about that, though. Brody never wanted us to know.”

  “Blake knows too?” Brandon’s told me how much of a dick Blake is to Brody. I don’t have any siblings, but I feel like if my brother took the brunt of a fucked-up father so I wouldn’t have to go through it, I would be kissing his damn feet.