My attention returns to the window. I don’t know what I think. We never talked about it. She never told me what the two of them talked about, and I never bothered to ask. I didn’t want to know.
I know he hasn’t met Bianca yet, but I did hear Spencer mention that she’s planning to introduce the two of them soon. The paternity test confirmed he’s the father, so it only makes sense.
“Have you met him?” Spencer asks.
Since one handshake in the hallway doesn’t count in my book, I shake my head but don’t look his way.
“Well, I have. He seems to be a good guy.”
Yeah, whatever.
“And he only wants the best for my niece.”
And your sister. I keep that part to myself.
“Do you even have any idea what my sister has done for—”
I snap my head around when he cuts himself off. “For what?”
“Nothing.” Spencer wads up the paper and gets to his feet. “Not important.”
If we weren’t sitting on a fucking airplane, I would’ve pinned Spencer to the wall and insisted that he tell me what’s going on. Instead, I watch as he heads toward the back of the plane, then disappears from sight. I lean my head against the plastic beside the window and stare out at the white clouds beneath us.
I don’t need Spencer to point out the fact that I’m having a hard time doing my job because my mind is elsewhere. When I’m with Ellie, I feel invincible. When I’m not, I feel…
Like I’m missing a piece of myself.
And I don’t fucking like it.
Not one bit.
Ellie
“So…” James smiles at me. “How do you want to do this?”
A torrent of butterflies is currently loose in my belly. The more I think about doing this, the worse I feel. Not because I shouldn’t be, but because it doesn’t feel like I’ve thought it all the way through. I talked to Noelle; she says she thinks it’s the right way to move forward. When I asked Spencer’s opinion, my brother told me he trusted my judgment and to know that he would always be there for me no matter what. There might’ve even been a small apology for the way he treated me when I originally told him.
The apology was nice, but neither of those answers helped my decision.
Which is why I’m having lunch with James, contemplating what the next step is. We’ve spent the past month getting to know each other. As far as I can tell, things have been going well. I like him. He’s a really nice guy. Not that I think I would’ve hooked up with a not nice guy, but I was twenty-one when I met him so … anything’s possible.
“You want to go to your place? Or mine?” he asks, leaning forward and putting his hand over the top of mine. “We’re good, Ellie.”
I nod, letting my gaze linger on our hands. “I know we are. I’m just nervous.”
“Are you worried about Kingston?”
I jerk my head so I can look in James’s face. “Why would you ask that?”
James leans back, his hand falling from mine. “Because you’re in love with him.”
I frown.
He smiles.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
He chuckles, then leans forward again. “I’ve been talking to you for a solid month, Ellie. Don’t think I haven’t noticed. Hell, why do you think I haven’t asked you out?”
Okay, now I’m really confused. “What?”
“I haven’t asked you out because I know you’re in love with another man.”
“I’ve never said that.”
“You don’t have to. But I see it, and I respect it. I don’t know him personally, but I know he’s a good guy.”
“That’s a big assumption, don’t you think?” I offer a mirthless laugh. “I mean, he was accused of hitting a woman.”
James stares back at me. “I know his brother, Ellie. Kingston Rush is a good guy. Whatever happened with that woman—”
“Nothing happened,” I hurry to say.
“I believe you.”
When James doesn’t say anything more, I have to say something. The silence is deafening.
“He is a good guy,” I say automatically. “A really good guy.” And it’s true, he is. Since I haven’t seen him in a little over two weeks, I think it’s safe to say we’re through, though. I don’t bother to mention that to James.
“And because of that and the fact that you love him, I agreed to help you find out about that girl.”
“I thought you did that for me.”
“In a way, I did. But not to get in your good graces, Ellie. I don’t want you to think that I would try to manipulate you like that. I want to get to know you because you’re the mother of my child. I want to talk to you because I like you as a person. I think we can be friends and we can raise Bianca together. I missed a lot of time with her and you did all the work. I’d like to help where I can. But I’m not here for anything other than to be a part of her life.”
I honestly didn’t expect that. I don’t have any romantic feelings toward James, and I haven’t since the day I talked to him at the mall. Sure, I might’ve fantasized a couple of times about what might’ve been, but I always seem to go back to Kingston.
Kingston.
My heart announces its painful presence. Ever since James came into my life, Kingston has made it obscenely clear that he doesn’t want to be a part of it. And yes, James is right, I did fall in love with Kingston. However, I know my place. He and I have a pretend relationship. We are keeping it up for appearances. I still go to every home game and I still cheer for him. I haven’t told a soul that we aren’t seeing each other anymore because I don’t want him to have to deal with any fallout.
When he comes to the Penalty Box, I do the casual glances, the not-so-casual touches every now and again. All for appearances. But he’s cold and distant, and he hasn’t said two words to me since the night he called it off. It’s obvious he’s trying not to make it obvious to everyone else, but it’s clear to me that he’s moved on, and I’m the one flapping in the wind, hoping I’m wrong.
Sadly, it can’t come to an end just yet. With James’s help, I’ve managed to track down the best friend of the woman who made the accusations against Kingston. I’m not sure I could’ve done it alone, so I’m grateful for James’s help. He wasn’t lying when he told me he knows a lot of people. Like, seriously. A lot of people. And that worked in my favor.
As soon as he passed along the details, I made the phone call. I’ve left one voice mail for the best friend, but I haven’t heard back from her. It’s only been three days, so I’m not giving up on it yet.
Turning my attention back to James, I make my mouth curve up into a smile. “I think tonight would be a great time for you to meet your daughter.”
His eyes light up as though I just gave him the greatest gift in the world.
“But I think we should go to dinner or you could come by the bar. I want to ease her into it. She doesn’t know I’ve talked to you.”
“Is she still upset?”
I told James about her one Christmas wish. I think he teared up a little when I told her that he was all she wanted this year.
“She’s getting better, but she’s still waiting.”
“Well, let’s put an end to that,” James says softly. “Why don’t you and Bianca meet me at…” His eyebrows lift. “What’s her favorite restaurant?”
“La Fiesta. It’s a small Mexican food place,” I tell him. “Not too far from here.”
“Perfect. I’ll look up the address and meet you both there.” He smiles and his emerald-green eyes sparkle. “Thank you, Ellie. Thank you for doing this.”
I get to my feet and James pulls me into a hug. I hug him back, grateful that this is going to work out for my daughter. She means more to me than anything else. More than my own happiness. I simply want to give her the best life possible.
James pulls back and looks at me. “You need to talk to Kingston.”
“About what?”
&
nbsp; “About what’s going on with you two. Look at this from his perspective.”
“I told you,” I say quickly. “This is an arrangement for the benefit of his career, James. There’s nothing to talk about.”
The way he looks at me says I’m dumber than a box of rocks. However, he doesn’t elaborate, and I have more important things to think about than my nonexistent relationship with Kingston. My daughter is going to meet her father tonight.
I only hope I can make it through the evening without tossing my cookies.
Kingston: Hey. Wondered if maybe we could get together and talk tonight.
Ellie: Can’t. I’m having dinner with James. Well, technically, Bianca and I are having dinner with James.
Kingston: Got it.
Ellie: Got what?
Kingston: Nothing. Have a good time.
51
Ellie
“Who are we meeting?” Bianca asks for the fifteenth time since we left the house.
“A friend,” I tell her.
Her head snaps my way. “Is it Kingston? Is he back in town?”
“Yes, he’s back in town.” I leave it at that. I didn’t say it was Kingston, but maybe she’ll assume and stop asking so many questions. I’m edgy enough as it is. The incessant chatter isn’t helping my nerves.
I pull the car into the parking lot and park next to James’s rental car. Acting as normal as I can, I get out and wait for Bianca to come around and join me.
“We haven’t been here in a while,” she mumbles, shoving her phone into her pocket.
“I thought it’d be nice. It’s your favorite.”
“It used to be,” she says under her breath.
I turn to her. “What does that mean? What’s your favorite place now?”
Bianca shrugs. “I don’t know. I guess I don’t have one.”
“Well, let’s pretend it’s still this one. I like their queso.”
I pull open the door and wait for Bianca to step inside. It’s a very small restaurant, so it only takes a second for me to see James sitting at a table near the back. He’s facing the door, and I can practically feel the emotion rolling off him as his eyes lock on Bianca.
“Two?” the hostess asks.
“Actually, we’re meeting someone.”
The woman nods.
I take Bianca’s arm and lead her toward the back. She has pulled out her phone and she’s typing a message, probably to Gabby. I don’t stop her until we reach the table.
“Bianca,” I say, trying to draw her attention from the phone.
She peers at me briefly. I nod my head and I watch intently as she turns her attention to…
Another one of those suspended-in-time moments occurs. This time, it’s happening to Bianca while I watch. I’m observing from the outside, but I can feel every single emotion that she’s feeling.
Her eyes instantly widen and her mouth falls open. A shocked gasp escapes at the same time her cell phone clatters to the floor. If this were any other day, Bianca would’ve dove to the floor to keep it from hitting the concrete. That doesn’t happen.
Several heads turn. I want to wave them off, to say, “No worries. It’s her dad. She’s seeing him for the first time. Ever. Go back to your enchiladas and empanadas.” I don’t, though. I watch my daughter as her brain processes the man now standing in front of his chair.
I don’t know how in the world she could possibly know who this man is unless she recognizes him because she looks so much like him. Seriously, I noticed, so I could see how she could, too.
Tears spring to James’s eyes instantly. If I were seeing him for the first time, I probably would think it was weird. The guy isn’t small by any means. Close to six three, I’d guess. He’s not built quite like the hockey players I spend so much time with, but he’s on the large size. It’s clear he works out. So, this big guy with the slightly crooked nose—an injury he sustained playing high school football, he said—with tears in his eyes is a little disarming.
It totally meshes with the sensitive man I’ve come to know, so I’m not completely surprised.
“Bianca.” The one word comes out as though he’s been gargling with sand.
“You’re…”
They are both too stunned to move, and I’m at risk of bawling my eyes out, so I swallow the lump in my throat and make the official introduction.
“Bianca, this is James Heron. Your father.”
James is nodding his head as though the spring in his neck is loose. Bianca has tears streaming down her face and sobs are breaking free from her. I glance around and see people curiously staring at us.
“No worries,” I say, waving them off. “Those are happy tears.”
I hope they’re happy tears.
I clear my throat, and James looks my way. It’s as though he only realizes then that we’re in the middle of the restaurant. He immediately pulls out the chair to his right and motions for Bianca to take a seat. I manage to pick up her phone from the floor and take the seat beside her, opposite James. I drop her phone into my purse. She won’t need it for a while.
“You’re even more beautiful than your pictures.” James’s tone is full of wonder. “And I definitely like the blue hair.”
Bianca offers a laugh-sob, then takes a deep, shuddering breath.
The waiter comes over, and I order a Dr. Pepper for Bianca and an iced tea for myself, then add a bowl of queso before he walks away. I figure if these two are going to stare at each other for the rest of the night, I might as well eat.
After all, the calories don’t count on the day your twelve-year-old daughter meets her father for the first time, right?
Bianca
I can’t feel my fingers.
Or my toes.
Or … now that I think about it, I can’t feel my legs.
I don’t know how I got into this chair.
My mom’s hand gently slides over my forearm. “Breathe, honey.”
Easy for her to say. I was beginning to think this day would never come.
I knew the second I looked at him that he was my dad. I don’t know how I knew, but I knew. And when tears came to his eyes … it made me cry. Now, I can’t swallow past the huge lump in my throat. If I open my mouth, I fear more tears will stream out of my eyes, and I’m trying not to let that happen. I don’t want him to think I’m a whiny little kid.
“A friend of mine sent your Facebook post to me,” James says. “He was with me in Las Vegas the year I met your mom. The second I saw her picture, I knew who she was.”
I look over at my mom. She nods her head and says, “He called me back in December.”
I stare more intently at her. “December?”
I can’t believe she waited that long to tell me. I’ve been waiting and waiting and waiting. Didn’t she think I deserved to know? This was my idea, after all.
“Your mom and I have spent the last month talking. I think it’s safe to say she’s pretty protective of you.” He smiles. “Which is not a bad thing. She has told me so much about you, and we’ve been counting down the days until it felt right for the two of us to meet.”
“She tried to keep you away from me?” I blurt. I don’t know why I said that, but it hurts to know that she didn’t mention him before now.
“Of course not,” my mom says. “I was trying to protect you.”
“From my own dad?” I glare at her. “Why would you do that? Why wouldn’t you tell me?”
I rarely see my mother get angry, but something passes across her face that tells me now isn’t the time to go into that.
“Are you ready to order?” the waiter asks, thankfully interrupting.
I glance over at James and stare at him a little longer. He’s very handsome, just like I thought he would be. He’s taller than my mom, probably as tall as Kingston.
“You want the usual, Bianca?” my mother asks.
I nod, still staring at James. I need to get my phone so I can text Gabby and tell her what’s going on. I can’t
believe I’m sitting here with my mom and my dad for the first time in my life. I watch as James glances over at my mom and smiles. I think he likes her.
I look at my mom. She’s smiling, too.
Oh, my God! I hope this is real. I hope I’m not dreaming.
I thought that meeting my dad would be the greatest thing in the world. And it’s definitely great. But I think Gabby’s right… What would be even better is if my mom and my dad would fall in love and get married.
That would be the best thing ever.
52
Kingston
Saturday, February 4th
Tonight’s game was a far cry better than I anticipated.
For us, that is. I can’t say how Heath’s night is going.
Somehow, I’ve managed to block out anything and everything for the past couple of weeks. At least when I’m on the ice. It showed tonight. I’m happy with how things went. Not ecstatic, but I think I’m working my way back to normal. A new normal, that is.
Now, as I sit at a table in the hotel bar watching some of my teammates act like asshats, I can honestly say that I’m breathing a little easier.
“Mount Rushmore?”
I glance over to see a cute little brunette standing beside me. She’s biting her knuckle and twirling her hair with her other hand. She looks all of twenty-one. Maybe. I lift my eyebrows, waiting for her to say something.
“Mind if I join you?”
I glance at the empty seat beside me, then back up to her.
I place my beer bottle on the table and offer a smile. “I was actually heading back to my room.”
For some godforsaken stupid fucking reason, that makes her smile more. As though I offered an invitation. In order to ensure she doesn’t take it the wrong way, I add, “Alone. Good night.”
Without looking back, I head to the bank of elevators, then head up to my floor. The team is heading back to Austin first thing in the morning, and if I’m lucky, I’ll get a good six hours of solid sleep before then.
I swipe my key card in the door, then step inside. After flipping the security lock, I turn to see…
The Season: Rush (Austin Arrows #1) Page 37
