Jax's Dilemma:Insurgents Motorcycle Club (Insurgents MC Romance Book 2)

by Wilder, Chiah

  She kissed him again as she threaded her fingers through his hair. His hair was soft, and the short strands tickled her as she played with them. He stroked her back, cupping her ass. Cherri jerked a little as his touch lit a fire in the pit of her stomach. Her legs clamped together as she felt a slight dampness. When she arched her back into him, his mouth nibbled her earlobes then her neck.

  “I want you so bad, sweet one. Let’s stop playing games and be together.”

  She stiffened as she pushed back. Clearing her throat, she said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do all this. I was so scared and then relieved… I don’t know, but we gotta stop. Like, now.”

  “What the fuck?”

  Cherri twisted out of Jax’s embrace and stood in front of him, looking down at the ground. She bit her lower lip and fiddled with a few strands of her hair.

  “Nothing. We have to stop before it goes too far, that’s all.”

  “We’ve already gone too far.” He paused, looking at her as though he were trying to get into her head to see what made her tick. “Why have you been ignoring me?”

  “You know why. You and Peaches were pretty cozy.”

  “You never let me explain that to you.”

  “Nothing to explain. You’re just that type of man. You could’ve waited until the sheets had dried, at least.” She drew small designs in the dirt with her shoe.

  “It wasn’t what you thought. I wasn’t—”

  “You don’t owe me anything. I thought—”

  “Will you shut the fuck up, woman? Damn, you piss me off sometimes. I’m gonna tell you how it was, and you’ll fuckin’ keep your mouth shut. Got it?”

  Cherri, seeing the anger in his eyes, nodded.

  After Jax explained to her how Peaches had tricked him into going to Dream House the afternoon he and Cherri spent together, and what she saw was not him groping Peaches, but rather him trying to get Peaches off him, Cherri hung her head.

  “I’m so sorry I misjudged you. If I had known, things may have been different.”

  “I tried to talk to you, but you never fuckin’ gave me a chance to explain. It’s like you didn’t want to hear what I had to say, like you’d already made up your mind I was a piece of shit.”

  “Yeah, I do that, especially where men are concerned. I’ve never had any good dealings with men. It’s like they only want to use or abuse women.”

  “Man, baby, you been hurt so bad in your life. I’d never hurt you. Never.”

  She smiled at him, but sadness whispered around her mouth.

  “You know you torture the fuck outta me by hangin’ with Gunner. Now that we’re good, you can tell him, ‘Adios.’ He’ll get it.” Jax tugged Cherri back into him then kissed her on the lips.

  Cherri pushed back. Looking up at Jax, she said, “I can’t just leave Gunner. He’s been good to me. He’s been solid and dependable.”

  Eyes flashing, anger emanated from Jax. “What the fuck is that supposed to mean? You know goddamned well you only went with Gunner to spite me and make me jealous. Well, it worked. I was jealous as hell every time he touched you or looked at you. Now it’s done, and we can pick up where we left off. You don’t give a rat’s ass about Gunner. You only care about what he can give you.”

  Cherri narrowed her eyes. “That’s not true. I do like Gunner. He is a sweet and kind man. He may not have your good looks, but he sure as hell isn’t fuckin’ different women every night.”

  “You started this shit, sugar, not me. What did you think I was gonna do? Sit around until you decided I’d been punished enough? You don’t fuckin’ call the shots, I do, and you better get that through your pretty head. Sure, I fucked around; what of it? It didn’t mean shit, just warm holes to drain my cock. Don’t try and lay some guilt shit on me. And what, you weren’t fuckin’ the old man?”

  “It’s none of your business what I do with Gunner.”

  “Get your ass over here and give your man a kiss so we can get us back on track.”

  Dropping her voice, Cherri said, “There is no us. I can’t walk out on Gunner just like that. You can’t promise me you won’t screw around on me, can you?”

  “What the fuck does that have to do with this? I fuck pussy, and it’s just that—fuckin’ pussy. It has nothin’ to do with us.”

  “But it does. I don’t want to be waitin’ around for you while you’re getting off with another woman. I couldn’t handle that.”

  “I can’t promise you I won’t stray sometimes, especially if I’m on a run and we’re outta town. I can promise you I won’t fuck Peaches anymore.”

  Cherri smiled wryly. “Thanks, that means so much to me.”

  Jax fixed his eyes on her. Watching him, she suddenly felt weary. She wanted to go home so she could collect her thoughts. Never had she anticipated her day would include making out with Jax in the woods. Her body ached for him, but she wasn’t so eager to jump back into bed with him. Fear of loss and heartbreak clouded her desire for him, and her trust in him wasn’t secure. Gunner was stable and, in truth, if Gunner wanted club pussy, she’d be cool with it. However, if she were with Jax, she’d beat the shit out of any slut who came near her man. She was better off with stable, safe Gunner, who made her life less volatile.

  “I think it’s time we head back. I have to get home,” she said.

  “I want you as my woman. That’s all I know. I’ll treat you right and support you. I’ll have your back and give you respect. I can’t get you outta my mind. The day we fucked is always on my mind, on replay. I want us to be together.” Jax looked at her with soulful eyes which melted her heart.

  “I have to think about all this. I can’t deal with it right now. I wanna go home.”

  He reached out, gripped her arms, and drew her to him.

  “You gonna give me something?” he said while rubbing her back.

  Cherri’s pussy clenched. She wanted him to fuck her hard, on the ground, but she couldn’t face Gunner if she gave in to her body. She had to do the right thing. If she were going to go back with Jax then she would have to tell Gunner. He’d been so good to her she couldn’t bang Jax behind his back. She wasn’t a bad person—just one who had shitty luck for most of her life.

  “It’s getting late. I need to go.” She glanced at the sky. Hues of gold, orange, and purple cast a warm glow across the approaching twilight.

  Rigor replaced the softness on Jax’s face. He stormed toward his Harley, yelling over his shoulder, “Okay, let’s go. Get the fuck on my bike.”

  After she climbed on, Jax floored his Harley and it shot forward, kicking up dirt and twigs. They blasted down the empty road toward Pinewood Springs and her home.

  As they stood in front of her townhouse, the silence was thick between them.

  “Gonna invite me in?” he asked.

  Shaking her head, she patted his hand. He placed two hands behind her head and kissed her hard. He released her and swatted her butt. She yanked away.

  “I just can’t do this. I owe Gunner my respect. He’s been good to me, and he was there for me when no one else was. I can’t do this to him.”

  “I wanted to be there for you, but you pushed me away. You fuckin’ didn’t give me a chance to take care of you. And you let an old man take care of you after you fucked me? You know what, baby girl? You’re so fucked up by your past. You need a daddy, so you ran to the old man. Well, fuck you. Got that? Fuck you. I don’t need your crazy, fucked up shit.” Jax swung his leg over his bike and turned on the ignition.

  Cherri, stifling her tears, ran up the stairs to her home. She heard Jax peel away, and she turned around and watched his retreating figure. Her heart ached when he rode away without even a backward glance.

  Chapter Thirteen

  “Fuck! Of all nights for the strip club to come down with a flu epidemic. Shit, not only are we down four dancers, but Holt’s out sick, too,” Emma shouted.

  Cherri watched as Emma paced around the office, beads of perspiration forming on her forehead
while a deep red flushed her neck and cheeks. She understood Emma’s nerves. Hell, her stomach had been fluttering since the second dancer called in sick. The club had been rented out for a bachelor party, but word was it wasn’t an ordinary guest list. No, this list had all the Pinewood big-shots like judges, lawyers, politicians, cattle ranchers, and oil men. Cherri’s stomach lurched again. All my stomach action better be from my nerves and not the flu. Shit, I can’t afford to be sick. She shivered as her palms grew sweaty.

  “Did you get any dancers to replace the four out sick?” Emma’s eyes darted from Cherri to the door and back to Cherri.

  “Could only get two, but Crystal said she’d do an extra shift, and I’ll dance to replace Ginger. I think we’ve got it covered. Oh, yeah, I did get two bartenders. We should be good if everyone shows up.”

  “Don’t even think that,” Emma said.

  “It’ll be fine. I’ll make sure it goes smoothly.” I hope I can deliver. Now if my damn stomach would just quit churning, I’d be good.

  “Hey, baby doll, you look pale,” Gunner said as he drew Cherri into him, placing a kiss on her forehead.

  “Stressed, is more like it.” She kissed him on the cheek.

  “I’m here officially tonight. Banger wanted a group of us here to make sure everything goes okay with the dancers and all the guys. Are you gonna be busy all night?”

  Hugging him, she said, “Most of the night. Too many dancers called in sick, so I’ll have to dance. It’s gonna be crazy, but everyone’s counting on us to give a good party. I’ll have some time to sit and have a drink with you later, though.”

  “That’s all I want, baby doll. I gotta go and meet up with the other Insurgents. See ya later.”

  Gunner walked out of the office and went to the bar. Cherri followed him until she reached the curtain that shut off the backstage area from the bar. She wondered if Jax was going to be one of the Insurgents at the party. It had been two weeks since she’d last seen him, and he’d left madder than hell at her. She couldn’t blame him; she’d teased him, which definitely wasn’t right. She wished she could’ve told him he was the one she wanted to be with in a romantic way, not Gunner.

  Gunner was a wonderful man, but he was so much older than she was, and she loved him only as a good friend. For her, passion and desire didn’t exist in her relationship with Gunner, only with Jax. When she and Gunner were together, his touches were nice, but they didn’t ignite the fire as Jax’s touches did when they’d consumed each other a couple of months back. Reliving the memory of their time together helped her cope with the loneliness which often crushed her. She wished things could have been different, but they weren’t. Anyway, she planned on moving on, and it would be much easier to say goodbye to Gunner than it would’ve been to Jax.

  Peeking out from the curtain, Cherri saw him, and a wide grin spread over her face as her sparkling eyes took in his fantastic body. It had been too long since they had seen each other. He’d stopped coming to Dream House the past couple of weeks and she suspected he was the indirect cause of her irritability. Clasping her hands over her mouth to stifle her giggles, a burst of energy coursed through her.

  Dark hazel eyes focused on the curtain. Closing it to a sliver, her heart pounded against her chest as she watched him dart his eyes around the room—she liked thinking he looked for her. Smoothing her hair down, she straightened her shoulders and stepped into the bar area. She made a beeline for Jax—she had to say hi to him and hear his voice.

  Peaches bounding over to Jax stopped Cherri in her tracks, though. When Peaches reached him, she circled her arms around his neck and planted a big kiss on his soft lips. His eyes widened and he did a double-take. After realizing Peaches had a hold of him, he untangled her from him and shoved her back, then spotted Cherri. She stared at him, and their eyes locked for a suspended moment in time. She smiled. At that instant, Gunner came over and hugged her to him. Jax, face dark, eyes fastened on Cherri’s, yanked Peaches back to him, kissing her deeply as his hands ran over her body.

  An overwhelming need to flee attacked Cherri as her eyes grew hot and her body felt broken. It sickened her to see Peaches touch Jax’s arms, chest, and lips. Cherri knew too well how good he felt; her fingers had crawled over his taut skin many times. Gunner took Cherri’s hand and led her to his table in the corner, and after sitting down, he dragged her down on his lap. She snuggled her face in his neck, yearning to block out Peaches and Jax.

  Emma tapped Cherri on the shoulder. “I need you in the back.” She walked away, disappearing in a crowd of people.

  “I have to get backstage to make sure everything’s good,” Cherri said.

  “Go on back, baby doll. I’ll be waitin’ here for you when you get a break.” Gunner chugged his beer and ordered another.

  “Whoa, honey, don’t you think you should take it easy with the drinking? The night is long, and you don’t want to get wasted. Slow down a bit.” Cherri wrinkled her brow as she fought to suppress her over-protectiveness.

  Gunner flushed her closer to him. “Now aren’t you sweet, worrying about your ol’ man like that? Fuck, I haven’t had no one care ’bout me in years. Don’t worry your pretty little head off. I can handle my drinking. Nothin’ new—been doin’ it for years.”

  “I know. I’m just saying to slow down a bit, that’s all. Don’t you have to keep an eye out on things tonight? Can’t do it if you’re shit-faced.” She gave him a quick kiss on the lips. “Gotta run.” She dashed off.

  Backstage, some of the dancers lined up for their upcoming dances while others wiped off their drenched bodies as they exited the stage.

  “The guys tonight are generous. We should have private parties with them all the time,” Tiffany, one of the strippers, said.

  “Make sure you circulate for lap dances. You can make two weeks’ salary just by doing lap dances. The house makes money, and so do you,” Cherri said as she went into her dressing room to get changed for her dance number.

  Looking at herself in the mirror, Cherri applied the concealer under her breast to cover the scars. Thankful for the dim lights and the illusions of the night, she doubted anyone could see any hint of deformity on her body. After the makeup dried, she pulled her peach, metallic, one-piece outfit over her body. It had a very low-cut scoop neck that pushed up her breasts, and the middle and side cut-outs showed off her firm body. The outfit narrowed at the crotch, barely covering her mound while a string of fabric fit snugly at her crack, exposing her firm, heart-shaped ass.

  It was not an outfit for a public outing, but was perfect for entertaining a bunch of horny men. The entire spandex piece had a silver sheen which made her blue eyes shimmer like lightning bolts. Crystal charms dangled from her pierced belly button and shone like twinkling stars when they caught the light. She finished her look with large crystal hoop earrings and a three-strand crystal collar necklace.

  Standing by the stage, Cherri waited for her cue. Her hands shook, her mouth was dry, and a dull ache throbbed behind her eyes. Chiding herself for being silly, she wasn’t sure why she had butterflies twirling around in her stomach since she had danced so many times before. Maybe it was because Jax was in the audience with his penetrating eyes. Bending over, she gulped in deep breaths to calm herself. She wanted to dance for him; it would be her gift to him.

  More deep breaths.

  He made her crazy. He invaded her thoughts when she went to bed, when she awoke, and several times during the day. As much as she tried to rid her mind of him, he clung to her, almost mocking her. Her attraction to Jax wasn’t fair to Gunner. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him, but it didn’t seem right for him to be tied to a woman whose thoughts, desires, and heart pined for another man. She had to do the grown-up thing and talk to Gunner about it later that night, after all the festivities died down. She owed him as much.

  The stage went black, Cherri’s cue to go on. The song she picked—“Whore” by In This Moment—blasted out of the speakers. The lights went o
n and Cherri twirled her body around the pole, her strong, long legs wrapping around it as she hung down. Her hair, streaked red by the stage lights, brushed the floor. Her body glimmered from the metallic threads and crystal jewels, which picked up different lights surrounding the stage. As she twisted around on the pole, high above the audience, she saw Gunner transfixed, his red face plastered with a grin as his eyes glowed with affection. Cherri nodded in his direction.

  Hanging upside-down, her hair cascading like a waterfall, she searched for Jax. He leaned against a tall wooden island, his arms crossed and his sexy biceps bulging. Peaches hung onto his arm, but he didn’t pay any attention to her—the only thing he looked at was Cherri.

  Through the low, red lights and the fog machine, she detected the hunger burning in his hazel eyes as they bored into her. After bending her torso back up, she swung around and faced the audience, her eyes locked on his. Together they held each other’s gaze as if no one else was in the room. For Cherri, no one else in the room mattered—she danced only for him.

  Flipping backwards, she landed on stage with her back to the spectators. She bent over, her ass cheeks opening, and placed her head between her legs as her hair touched the stage. Still locked on Jax’s eyes, she noticed he nursed a hard-on while lust and raw desire radiated from him. Spinning back around, she laid on her stomach and wiggled around on the floor, her tits almost popping out of their metallic harness. She puckered her lips and blew a kiss to the hooting and whistling men. Let each of them think it’s for them, but I’m dancing for Jax. From the way he seized her eyes, shifted his weight, and adjusted his denim-covered dick, he knew her dance was for him. She threw him a smoldering, come-fuck-me look. A half-grin softened his face.

  Twirling, swinging, and bending around the pole during her next dance to the music of My Darkest Days’ song, “Porn Star Dancing,” Cherri felt someone watching her. Not Gunner or Jax, but someone else, someone who made her skin crawl. As she slid down the pole, swinging her head around, she scanned the sea of faces. Near the front, he stood there, arms crossed, licking his lips—his beady eyes glued to her.