A Hopeful Heart

by Amy Clipston

  “Mr. Peterson and I have a lot in common since he lost his family like I lost Gideon.”

  Josh’s stomach tightened. “I’ve experienced loss too, Hannah. I lost my bruder. He was my best freind.”

  “Ya.” She took a step toward him. “I know you have, Joshua.”

  “Mr. Peterson is English, Hannah. He’s not like us.”

  She shook her head. “You don’t understand.”

  “Ya, I do understand.” He paused to choose the right words for fear of causing her to be on the defensive and ignore him. “I’m concerned about you. You’ve been through a lot, and you’re vulnerable.”

  She stood up straighter and glowered. “No, I’m not vulnerable. I’m in complete control of my feelings. Mr. Peterson is just a nice person. That’s it, Joshua. There’s nothing else going on here.”

  Josh lifted his hat and raked his hands through his hair while he groped mentally for something to say to warn Hannah. “Just promise me you’ll be careful.” He wanted to tell her that he was certain the Englisher had feelings for her and that it made his blood boil to see that man look at her with longing in his eyes. But he couldn’t form the words.

  An awkward silence hung between them for a moment like a thick, dense fog.

  Hannah blinked and then shrugged. “I will.”

  “Gut nacht.” He mumbled the words, which she repeated.

  Josh started toward his buggy. His footsteps were heavy with regret twisting around his heart. Why couldn’t he tell Hannah how he felt about her? He’d held his feelings at bay for more than twenty years—ever since he’d laid eyes on her at a singing. Never once had he expressed his disappointment when Hannah noticed Gideon instead of him. He’d quelled his envy, but he never found another woman to take Hannah’s place in his heart. Josh watched from afar as Hannah and his brother fell in love and then married. He rejoiced with them when their children were born.

  Josh climbed into the buggy and waved to Hannah as he guided the horse down the rock driveway toward the main road. He reflected on Gideon as he made his way toward his home located on his parents’ farm a couple miles up the road. When his brother died unexpectedly, Josh vowed to take care of Gideon’s family. Being a father figure to the children seemed an easy task, but he struggled with how to handle his relationship with Hannah. He wished he had his brother’s confidence. If he were like Gideon, he would’ve already told Hannah he loved her and asked her to be his wife. Instead, he stared at her like a coward, praying that the Lord would make the words burst forth from his lips.

  His thoughts turned to Trey Peterson and his stomach soured. Watching Hannah interact with the Englisher had filled him with dread and foreboding. Josh needed to find a way to win Hannah’s hand. He needed to show her that he loved her. He had to learn how to be confident and tell Hannah how he felt before it was too late.

  SIX

  Friday morning, Hannah pushed her cart toward the supply room and hummed to herself. When she opened the door, she heard the sound of someone sobbing amid the shelves of towels and toiletries.

  “Hello?” Hannah called as she stepped into the large walk-in closet. “Is someone in here?”

  “Oh.” Ruth stepped forward and wiped her red, puffy eyes with a crumpled tissue. “I’m sorry. I thought I was alone.”

  “Oh, Ruth.” Hannah touched Ruth’s arm. “Was iss letz?”

  “I was just thinking of my son.” Ruth leaned on a stack of towels.

  “What happened to your son? Is Solomon hurt?”

  “No. My son Aaron. He left fifteen years ago.” Ruth shook her head. “I miss him so much. Sometimes I get emotional. I came in here to pull myself together.”

  “You have a son who left the community?” Hannah tilted her head in question. “I didn’t know that.”

  “Ya, he did. He left before we joined your church district. I’m sorry I never told you about him before, but it was too painful to talk about. I can’t believe it’s been that long. He went to an ex-Amish community in Missouri, and I haven’t heard from him since. I still worry about him every day, and some days are more difficult than others.”

  “I’m so sorry, Ruth.” Hannah touched Ruth’s arm again. “I honestly had no idea.”

  “Ya.” Ruth sighed. “Aaron was only fifteen when he went off on his own. He said the Amish life was too restrictive.” A tear trickled down her cheek. “I miss him so much. Our family isn’t complete without him.”

  Hannah frowned. “I’m certain you miss him terribly.”

  “I just wish I could hear from him. I want to know that he’s okay. I don’t even know if he’s still alive.”

  “Have faith that he’s alive and well.” Hannah hugged her. “I hope you hear from him soon. I will keep Aaron in my prayers.”

  “Danki.” Ruth held Hannah tight for a moment. “I’m so thankful for your friendship.”

  Hannah nodded. “I’m thankful for yours too. May I get you something to drink?”

  “No, danki.” Ruth shook her head. “I’m going to just stay here for a moment and get myself together.”

  “Okay. I’m going to stow my cart here and go get something to drink. I’ll be back to check on you.” Hannah stepped out into the hallway and started toward the kitchen.

  “Hannah!” a voice called as she made her way through the lobby.

  She turned and found Mr. Peterson walking toward her from the elevators. “Hi, Mr. Peterson. How are you?”

  “I’m well, thank you.” He nodded toward the tables and chairs located across the lobby from the desk. “Would you have a cup of coffee with me?”

  Hannah paused. She considered what impression her having a cup of coffee with a guest would make, but she decided a quick break wouldn’t be a problem. Her boss encouraged the staff to be both friendly and professional when they interacted with guests. Having coffee was certainly being friendly while still being professional. “That sounds nice. I was just about to take my break.”

  “Wonderful.” He poured two cups of coffee from the dispensers near the front desk and Hannah followed him over to a table at the far end of the sitting area. “How’s your day going?”

  “It’s going fine.” Hannah sat across from him and added cream and sweetener to her coffee. She thought of Ruth and hoped she was feeling better. She really must go check on her after her break. “How’s your day?”

  “I was just heading out to run a few errands.” He sipped his coffee. “I enjoyed supper last night. Thank you again for inviting me to meet your family.”

  “You’re welcome. I had a nice time too.” Hannah yearned to hear about Mr. Peterson’s move to Lancaster County. “Tell me more about your plans for the bed and breakfast.”

  He rubbed his hand over his goatee and paused. “Well, I was thinking I would possibly offer Amish country tours if the guests are interested, or I would at least give them a map of the area with recommendations for the most authentic places to visit.”

  “What about meals?” Hannah gripped her coffee cup while she imagined herself creating a menu for a bed and breakfast. “I think guests would love to have at least one Amish meal.” She sipped her coffee and found it warm and sweet, just the way she liked it.

  “Oh.” Mr. Peterson raised his eyebrows. “That’s a great idea.”

  “I think it would work well. Tourists love to have authentic Amish food. They want to have the whole experience when they come to visit.”

  “What would you suggest serving the guests?”

  Hannah began counting off the options on her fingers. “When I used to host meals I normally made homemade chicken pot pie, corn or peas, potatoes, pie and cake, and a fruit salad. I sometimes would make beef with carrots or ham instead of the chicken pot pie. Oh, and homemade bread.” She found him studying her with an intense expression that caused her stomach to quiver. “You don’t like my idea?”

  “Actually, I love it.” A wide smile spread across his face. “It sounds like you’ve given this some thought.”

 
; Hannah shrugged. “I guess I’ve always thought about doing something like opening a bed and breakfast.”

  “You have?”

  “When I was a child, my mother hosted dinners almost every week, except for during the dead of winter. Tourists would pay a fee to eat a meal in our home, and we always made a traditional Amish meal. I loved meeting the tourists and telling them about my faith and my life in Lancaster.” She glanced around the lobby. “I enjoy working here, but I had more interactions with visitors when they came to my childhood farm. I like meeting and talking to people. Working in a bed and breakfast would give me the chance to do that again. It’s sort of my dream to work in a place like that.”

  “That’s really great. I bet you met some interesting people from all over the country when you hosted dinners.” Mr. Peterson sipped more coffee. “What else would you recommend?”

  “Have you thought about how you’ll decorate the bed and breakfast?”

  “No, not really.” He glanced around the room. “What do you think of this hotel’s décor?”

  Hannah frowned. “It’s very fancy. I like a plainer look, but that’s probably because of my upbringing.”

  “So how would you decorate the bed and breakfast?” His expression was eager.

  “Well.” Hannah looked toward the main lobby entrance. “I like the grandfather clock here. It has a beautiful elegance, but it’s not too fancy. I think the chandelier is obviously too much for a country bed and breakfast.” She pointed toward candles at the far end of the lobby. “I like simple candles. They are always lovely to have.”

  Mr. Peterson nodded slowly as if taking in all of her suggestions. “What about the paintings?”

  Hannah considered the impressionistic paintings hanging near the elevators. “I prefer simple nature scenes. They remind me of God’s glorious creation.” She contemplated the guest rooms. “I would also use Amish-built furniture. I prefer the traditional look rather than the modern furniture in the hotel rooms here.”

  Mr. Peterson grinned and then reached over and took her hands in his. His hands were warm and comforting. She didn’t feel uncomfortable; in fact, she felt at home. It was as if his touch was natural and familiar. Her pulse raced.

  “Hannah, I love your ideas.” He leaned forward and gazed into her eyes. “I can see the bed and breakfast coming to life while you talk.”

  She nodded, her senses spinning with the enjoyment of his touch.

  “I’m really surprised to hear that you’ve dreamt of owning a bed and breakfast.” He released her hands and sipped his coffee. “I thought you loved the horse farm.”

  Hannah blew out a sigh. “I do love the farm, but it was never my dream. It was always Gideon’s dream, and I wanted him to be happy. He was the head of the household, and he had good business sense. He made a decent living running the farm, and I never considered doing anything else. But that all changed when he died. I realized that I had dreams too.” She rested her chin on her hand. “But it’s not a reality. I can’t open a bed and breakfast.”

  “I’m going to need your suggestions when I’m ready to start decorating the bed and breakfast.”

  “I’d love to help.”

  “I still want to come by your farm in the daylight so I can get a tour.”

  “You’ll need to do that soon.” She glanced at the clock and gasped. “Oh, dear. I need to get back to work. It was nice seeing you.”

  “I enjoyed our coffee break.” He winked at her. “Have a great day, Hannah.”

  “You too.” Hannah started toward the supply closet and felt as if she were walking on clouds. She could feel a strong friendship and also an attraction developing between her and this man. The feelings both excited and scared her. How could she develop feelings for an Englisher? She pushed the thought aside and went to check on Ruth and retrieve her supply cart.

  Hannah stepped out onto the porch the following morning and waved when she spotted Trey’s shiny car bouncing up the rock driveway. She wiped her hands on her apron and walked quickly down the stairs to where his car came to a stop.

  “Mr. Peterson!” She stood by the car as he pushed open the door. “What a surprise.”

  He climbed from the car while holding up a white box. “Good morning! I brought donuts.”

  Hannah took the box from him. “Thank you.”

  “You’d mentioned yesterday that I should come by for a tour of the farm, and I figured there’s no time like the present.” His smiled faded and he clasped his hands together. “I hope this is a good time. I wanted to call first, but I realized I didn’t have your number. If it would be better for me to come back later, I can.”

  “No, no.” Hannah waved off the comment. “Now is just fine.”

  “Hi, Mr. Peterson!” Andrew rushed over from the first barn. “You came back to see the horses.”

  “Hi, Andrew.” Mr. Peterson pointed toward the box. “I brought donuts for everyone.”

  “Donuts!” Andrew looked back toward the barns. “Let me go get Amanda and Lily. They were feeding the chickens.” He ran back toward the barns yelling, “Amanda! Lily! Come and get some donuts!”

  Mr. Peterson grinned and shook his head. “He’s a very enthusiastic boy.”

  “Ya, he is.” Hannah motioned toward the house. “Would you like to come in and sit down? I can make some coffee to go with the donuts.”

  “Oh, no thank you.” Mr. Peterson touched his belt. “I ate too much at the breakfast buffet this morning. I brought the donuts for the kids, really.” He grimaced. “But you’re welcome to one. I didn’t mean to imply that you weren’t welcome to enjoy a warm, fresh donut.”

  Hannah shook her head. “I appreciate the offer, but I think I’ll save mine for a treat later in the day.”

  Andrew hurried back from the barn with his sisters in tow.

  Amanda smiled. “Good morning, Mr. Peterson. Thank you for bringing us donuts.”

  “You’re welcome.” Mr. Peterson gestured toward the box. “I thought everyone could use a donut on a Saturday morning.”

  Lillian nodded at him. “Thank you.” She mumbled her response, and Hannah wondered why her daughter was being so cold and unfriendly to their guest. She made a mental note to discuss it with her later.

  Andrew rubbed his hands together. “Can we take a break and have a donut?”

  “Of course, but you need to wash up first.” Hannah handed the box to Amanda. “Be sure he washes up.”

  “I will.” Amanda led her siblings up the steps toward the kitchen.

  Hannah made a sweeping gesture toward the row of barns and stables and the lush pasture. “Would you like that tour?”

  “I’d love it.” Mr. Peterson scanned the area. “This is a beautiful farm. How long has this farm been in your family?”

  “Gideon’s parents have owned it for a long time. They inherited it when my mother-in-law’s parents passed away. They had tenants on this land until Gideon and I were married. We moved in, and his parents helped him and Joshua start the horse farm.” She motioned toward the stables. “We have twenty-nine box stalls. We normally have anywhere from forty to fifty horses here at one time.”

  “Wow.” Mr. Peterson glanced into the stable at the horses lined up in the stalls. “Aren’t they gorgeous?”

  Hannah nodded. “They are. Gideon loved his horses. He once told me he loved me almost as much as he loved those animals.” Mr. Peterson raised his eyebrows, and she laughed. “He was joking with me.”

  “Oh, I was hoping it was a joke. It sounds like Gideon had a good sense of humor.”

  “Oh ya. It was the best. He loved to laugh almost as much as he loved being with his horses.” Hannah started toward the pasture. “There they are. That’s Gideon’s dream alive and well.”

  They walked together toward the pasture, and Mr. Peterson smiled. “Those are certainly Dutch Harnesses.”

  Hannah motioned toward the pasture. “You’re familiar with the breed?”

  “Oh, yes. My grandparents had Dut
ch Harnesses. My grandpa said he felt a connection to his family back in Holland by keeping the breed alive.” He leaned on the split-rail fence facing the horses inside the enclosure. His eyes suddenly rounded, and he gasped again. “Oh, wow. That horse right there.” He pointed toward a chestnut gelding near the front of the herd. “That one there. He looks just like Snickers. I can’t believe it. What are the chances that I’d see another Snickers?”

  Hannah raised her eyebrows. “Was Snickers a horse you once knew?”

  “He was my favorite horse at my grandparents’ farm. He and I seemed to really relate to each other, as crazy as that sounds.”

  “It’s not crazy. I understand what you mean. That’s actually Andrew’s favorite horse, Huckleberry.”

  “Huckleberry?” Trey grinned. “That’s a great name. I adored Snickers. He was my buddy, especially one summer I spent at my grandparents’ farm. My father was in the navy, and my parents were in the process of moving across country. They sent my sister and me to stay with my grandparents so they could get settled before they brought us to our new home. It was one of the best summers of my childhood.”

  “Really?” Hannah studied Mr. Peterson’s broad smile. He seemed caught up in the moment and the happy memories.

  “My sister, Christy, and I did chores on the farm, and we loved it. We were exhausted and tan by the end of August, but we really bonded with our grandparents and the animals. I wished I could bring Snickers home with me, but we couldn’t exactly keep him in the backyard in a subdivision.”

  Hannah shook her head. “No, that wouldn’t work too well.”

  Trey studied the horses. “Aren’t they the most beautiful animals you’ve ever seen? They’re huge, massive animals, but yet they’re so graceful.” He rested his chin on his fist while leaning on the fence. “Brings back wonderful memories of the time I spent at my grandparents’ farm.”

  “Ya.” Hannah smiled. “They are a great paradox. How can something so big and powerful be so graceful? It’s the Lord’s work. Only God can create something so beautiful.”

  “That’s true.” Mr. Peterson was silent while he continued to stare at the horses.