A Hopeful Heart

by Amy Clipston

  Andrew rushed to the mudroom, where he pulled on his boots. He then hurried out the back door to the porch. “I’m ready!” He stomped down the steps toward the barns.

  “Gut nacht.” Josh followed his nephew down the steps while anger and frustration boiled through his veins. He wondered how he was going to make Hannah forget the Englisher from the hotel. What did he need to do to get her attention?

  “What’s wrong with Mamm?” Andrew slowed and fell into step with Josh. “She looked upset.”

  “She’s fine.” Josh kept his eyes on the pasture. “She’s just upset about something that happened at work, but it’s okay. Nothing to worry about.”

  Andrew climbed up on the split-rail fence and whistled. “Come here, Huckleberry! Come here, bu!” The horse trotted over, and Andrew rubbed his blaze and his neck. “You’re a gut bu. Ya, you are.”

  Josh smiled. Regret filled him as he thought about his conversation with Hannah. Maybe he was too rough on her. He missed Gideon every day, but he had no idea what kind of grief Hannah had experienced after losing him. He needed to be her uplifter instead of her castigator. He looked up at the clear sky, and silently asked God to guide his relationship with Hannah. Even if he never won her heart, he hoped to keep her friendship close.

  Andrew smiled over at Josh while patting the horse. “Isn’t he the best horse, Onkel? I love him so much.”

  “Ya, he is.” Josh started for the gate. “Let’s get these horses in the stable so we can feed them.”

  Andrew trotted behind him. “Okay.”

  “Daniel King is going to start working with us tomorrow. Is that okay with you?” Josh opened the gate.

  “Oh, ya.” Andrew grinned. “Lillian will be froh since she has a crush on his bruder.”

  Josh chuckled. “I guess she will be froh.”

  Andrew started toward Huckleberry and then suddenly stopped and faced Josh. “I love working on the farm with you, Onkel. I hope I can work on the farm with you and Daniel when I’m finished with school.”

  “I love working here with you too, Andrew.” Josh smiled. “This is my favorite thing to do.”

  Hannah watched Joshua make his way down the porch steps behind Andrew. She wished she could tell him the truth—that she’d been upset ever since she told Trey that they couldn’t be friends. But she knew Joshua would only become agitated when he heard she was still thinking about Trey.

  She didn’t even understand why she was so upset. After all, she’d only known Trey a couple of weeks and had only spoken to him a handful of times, but she still couldn’t deny that it hurt. She couldn’t deny she missed their talks and the feeling of his hand holding hers. She missed everything about him—his smile, his voice, and the smell of his aftershave. She had fallen for him, and she knew she was doomed to live with a broken heart after telling him that she couldn’t be his friend.

  She spotted Andrew and Joshua talking near the pasture and she smiled. She loved seeing her children interact with Joshua, and she wished she shared the same romantic feelings he seemed to have for her. Yet she couldn’t force those feelings any more than she couldn’t stop yearning for a relationship with Trey.

  Perhaps I need to pray for God to guide my heart according to his plans.

  She walked through the mudroom and entered the kitchen, where Amanda was sweeping and Lillian was wiping the counter.

  Lillian met her gaze, and her eyebrows knitted together. “Is everything all right, Mamm?”

  “Ya, everything is fine. I just have a lot on my mind.” Hannah sat at the table. “I have news about the farm. Why don’t you sit down with me, so we can talk?”

  The girls sat across from her. Amanda smiled, and Lillian continued to frown. Her girls often illustrated their stark differences through their expressions. Gideon had summed their differences up by saying Amanda was as positive as the morning sunshine while Lillian was as worrisome as storm clouds brewing in the afternoon.

  “Are we losing the farm, Mamm?” Lillian placed her hands flat on the table. “Please tell us everything. We can handle it, right, Amanda?”

  Amanda nodded, her smile fading. “Ya, we’re here for you, Mamm.”

  Hannah smiled. “Maed, we’re not losing the farm. I just wanted to tell you that Daniel King is going to start working here tomorrow. Your onkel spoke with him, and he’s agreed to take the job.”

  “Oh.” Amanda glanced at Lillian and raised her eyebrows. “Maybe Leroy really will wind up working here too.”

  Lillian’s cheeks burned a bright red while she avoided her sister’s look. “Was that all you wanted to tell us?”

  “Ya, that’s it.” Hannah nodded.

  Lillian pushed her glasses up farther on her nose and stood. “May I go read a few more pages before devotions? I’m really enjoying this gut mystery.”

  “Ya. Go on and enjoy the quiet.” Hannah waved off the question. “I’ll call you when your bruder comes in.”

  “Danki.” Lillian disappeared toward the staircase.

  Hannah studied her blond daughter and smiled. “Did you have a gut day, Amanda?”

  Amanda cupped her hand over her mouth to stifle a yawn. “I did.” She tilted her head. “Are you upset that Daniel is going to start working here?”

  Hannah shook her head. “No, I’m not upset about Daniel. I’m glad Joshua will finally have some help.”

  “Are you upset with Onkel Josh?”

  “No.”

  “Is there something else bothering you? Are you angry with Lily, Andrew, or me?”

  Hannah frowned. She knew her daughter wouldn’t stop asking questions until she told her what was burdening her. “I’m not really upset. I’m disappointed, but not with anyone here in this haus.”

  “Oh.” Amanda paused and nodded slowly, as if trying to understand her words. “I hope whatever it is that’s bothering you gets better.”

  “I do too, mei liewe.” Hannah touched Amanda’s hands. “I think it will.”

  Amanda studied her mother. “May I ask you something?”

  “Of course. You know you can ask me anything.”

  Amanda hesitated before continuing. “Do you ever worry you’re feeling something you’re not supposed to?”

  Hannah studied Amanda’s questioning eyes. “What do you mean?”

  “Sometimes I wonder if there’s something wrong with me because I’m not interested in dating any of the buwe in our community. Nancy and Lillian are always talking about buwe and dating, but I’m not really worried about dating. It’s just not important to me right now.”

  “You mean you haven’t found the right bu yet?”

  Amanda scrunched her nose. “That’s sort of what I mean.”

  “Amanda, you’re only sixteen. You’ll meet the right bu when the time is right, and you don’t need to rush dating. You aren’t even baptized yet. Don’t rush God’s plan for you. It will happen when it’s meant to happen.”

  “Right.” Amanda forced a smile, which she always seemed to do when something was bothering her—something she was afraid to share.

  Hannah leaned forward. “Is something wrong, Amanda? You seem to have something on your mind too.”

  Amanda shrugged. “No, I’m okay. Nancy was teasing me about not liking anyone on Sunday, and it’s been bugging me.”

  Hannah smiled. “Does Nancy tease you like you tease Lily?”

  Amanda smirked. “Ya, she does. I don’t mean to upset Lily when I tease her. I’m just joking, but I guess I know how Lily feels now.”

  “Don’t let Nancy bother you. You’ll find the right person someday. My freind Irma married a bu from another district and moved there. Maybe you’ll meet someone from another district too.”

  “Ya, maybe I will meet someone from another district. I have time.” Amanda pushed her chair back from the table and stood. “I’m going to go see if Onkel Josh and Andrew need help. They always tell me I don’t need to help them, but I love working with the horses. They don’t understand my love of animals.
I’ll be back in soon.”

  “Okay. Danki.” Hannah stood and straightened the canisters on the counter while Amanda disappeared into the mudroom. She looked out the kitchen window above the sink and spotted Amanda crossing to the pasture. While she contemplated her conversation with Amanda, Hannah wondered if her daughter was sharing everything that was going through her mind. Amanda was never the child who worried since Lillian did enough worrying for the both of them.

  ELEVEN

  Hannah hummed as she put fresh sheets on a king-size bed in a hotel suite. She’d managed to avoid running into Trey during the past couple of weeks, which was both a relief and a disappointment. She was relieved to not have to make conversation after their last uncomfortable meeting, but she felt disappointment at not seeing him to at least say hello. She missed him. He filled her every thought during the day and her dreams at night. She felt as if a piece of her heart were missing since she stopped seeing him. She wished she could erase the heartache, but it lingered in her mind as well as in her heart, like a dull headache.

  Hannah knew Trey was still staying in the hotel since his belongings were in the room when she cleaned it a couple of days ago. She longed to ask him how his life had changed during the past two weeks. Was he ready to put in a contract on a home? Was he preparing to move?

  After wiping the bathroom counter, Hannah moved to the bedroom area and began dusting. She thought she heard someone calling her name, and she stopped to listen. When she heard it a second time, she rushed to the doorway and found Carolyn running down the hallway toward the room.

  “Hannah!” Carolyn paused to catch her breath and then grabbed Hannah’s hand. “You need to come downstairs now. There’s a phone call for you.”

  “Who’s on the phone?”

  “It’s Lily.” She pointed toward the elevators. “Go now.”

  Her children never called her at work—except for an emergency. Hannah’s heart beat doubletime. “Ach no.”

  “Go on. I’ll finish the room.” Carolyn nudged Hannah toward the door. “Go now.”

  Hannah rushed to the elevator. The short ride to the first floor felt like a lifetime while horrible scenarios ran through her head. She wondered if someone was ill or hurt. Oh no, what if it’s worse news?

  She hurried through the lobby to where Stacey Bradley, the young woman who ran the front desk, stood helping a hotel guest.

  Stacey nodded at Hannah. “There’s a phone call for you on line four.” She motioned toward the office behind her. “You may take it in there.”

  “Thank you.” Hannah made her way into the room and picked up the phone. “Hello?”

  “Mamm!” Lillian’s voice wavered on the phone. “Andrew’s hurt. He’s hurt badly.”

  “Oh no.” Hannah sank into the large leather chair behind the desk. “What happened?”

  “He fell while he was playing around in the barn, and he’s bleeding badly. There’s blood everywhere.”

  Hannah’s heart stopped and her blood ran cold. “What do you mean? Where is there blood, Lillian?”

  “On his head and his face. It’s all over. I’m not certain where he was cut.” A choked sob rang through the phone.

  Tears filled Hannah’s eyes. “Where is he?”

  “Onkel Josh carried him into the house, and Daniel ran across the street to get the veterinarian. Then I ran out here to call you.” She sniffed, and her voice shook again. “Mammi came by to see us and she’s sitting with him now.”

  Hannah’s heart pounded against her rib cage. She needed to get home right away. She had to make sure Andrew would be all right. “I’ll find a way home. Phyllis told me she had some other rides to give today, so I don’t know if she can make it.” Her thoughts churned with a way to find a ride to her farm. “I can ask Stacey to check the bus schedule on the computer too. I’ll find a way to get home, Lily. You just sit tight. Tell Andrew I’m on my way.”

  “Dummle! Bye, Mamm.”

  Hannah dropped the phone into the cradle and then stepped out to the front desk. “Stacey, can you please help me?” Her voice trembled with worry.

  “Sure, Hannah.” She pushed a lock of blond hair behind her ear. “What do you need?”

  “One of my children is injured, and I need to get home right away.” Hannah wrung her hands as she spoke. “Can you possibly see if there’s a bus schedule on the Internet? I need to see if there’s a bus coming by soon.”

  “I can give you a ride,” a familiar voice said.

  Hannah turned and found Trey standing by the counter. His face was filled with concern. “I can give you a ride, Hannah.”

  “Mr. Peterson.” She hesitated for a brief moment and then thought of Andrew. She needed to get home now. Lillian’s voice had quaked with fear, which was unlike her brave and confident Lillian. Something was definitely wrong with her youngest child, and she needed to get there as soon as possible. “Let me grab my bag.”

  She retrieved her bag from the workroom behind the office and then hurried out to where Trey waited at the front door. “Stacey, would you please tell Gregg that my son’s hurt and I had to go home?”

  Stacey nodded. “Absolutely. Don’t worry about a thing. I hope your son is okay.”

  “Thank you.” Hannah hefted her tote bag up on her shoulder and rushed out to the car behind Trey. She buckled the seat belt and then silently prayed.

  Lord, please heal Andrew. Let his injury be minor. Please don’t take him from me. I know your will is always the best, but please, Lord, spare mei kind. I can’t bear the thought of losing one of my precious kinner. Amen.

  The car jolted forward and Hannah opened her eyes. She hugged her tote bag to her chest.

  “What happened?” Trey kept his eyes on the road.

  “Lillian called me. Andrew fell and it sounds like he’s hurt badly. She said there was blood everywhere.” She prayed her daughter was exaggerating, but from the sound of Lillian’s voice, the situation seemed bleak. Her heart lurched in her chest.

  “Oh no.” He grimaced and tapped the steering wheel. “Do you want to take him to the hospital?”

  Hannah shook her head. “I don’t know. I just keep worrying that something awful is going to happen.” She sucked in a breath. She didn’t want to cry in front of him. She had to be strong.

  “I’ll get you there as fast as I can.” He navigated around a curve.

  Hannah gripped her tote bag and continued to pray during the ride to her house. When they arrived, she leapt from the car and rushed into the house with Trey following close behind her.

  “Lillian!” Hannah dropped her bag on the kitchen table and hurried toward the stairs. “Lillian?”

  “We’re in your room.” Lillian’s voice sounded from down the hall.

  “I’ll wait here.” Trey stood in the doorway and studied her.

  “Thank you.” Hannah rushed to her bedroom and found Andrew lying on top of several towels in the middle of her bed. Bloody rags covered the floor and blood stained his dark blue shirt. The sight of the blood caused her to shiver.

  Cameron Wood, the veterinarian who lived across the street, leaned over Andrew while applying a butterfly bandage. Lillian, Barbie, Josh, and Daniel all looked on.

  “Andrew!” Hannah moved to his side, her heart thumping in her chest. “Are you all right?”

  Her son shrugged and his lip quivered. “I’m okay, Mamm.”

  “He’ll be just fine, Mrs. Glick.” Cameron patted Andrew’s shoulder. “It looks much worse than it really is. He has a deep cut above his eye, but I don’t think he needs stitches. Thank goodness he didn’t hit that shovel any lower or he would’ve hurt his eye.”

  Hannah touched Andrew’s hand. “What happened?”

  “I was fooling around with Onkel Josh, and I tripped. It was an accident.” Tears filled her son’s eyes.

  Hannah squeezed his hand. “I was so worried.”

  “I’m sorry I scared you.” Andrew’s voice was soft and shaky.

  “You don’t need
to apologize. I’m just relieved you’re okay.” Hannah turned to the veterinarian. “Thank you for coming over to help us.”

  “You’re welcome.” Cameron picked up a small bag. “I’m glad I was around to help. I had just returned from an appointment across town. I’m going to head home, but please call me anytime you need help.” He nodded at Lillian and Barbie before leaving the bedroom.

  “I’m glad you’re okay, Andrew,” Josh said. “Come on, Daniel, let’s get back to work.”

  As Josh and Daniel left, Barbie frowned at Hannah. “I’m glad you made it home. It was terrible. You wouldn’t believe the blood everywhere. Lillian and I cleaned it all up, except for his clothes and these towels.”

  “I got here as soon as I could.” Hannah touched Andrew’s arm and studied his face. She spotted a bruise forming near the butterfly bandage. “It looks like you really injured yourself. Does it hurt?”

  Andrew grimaced. “Ya, my head hurts, Mamm.”

  “We’ll give you some Tylenol.” Hannah smiled at him despite the worry still coursing through her. What if the injury had been worse? She couldn’t bear the thought of losing her children.

  “I had to call you.” Lillian’s eyes filled with tears. “I was just so worried something bad would happen. We never expected to lose Dat like we did.” A single tear trickled down her cheek.

  “It’s okay.” Hannah hugged Lillian while trying to hold back her own tears. “I told you that you can call me if you have an emergency. You did the right thing. You can always call me if you feel uncomfortable. I’ll never scold you for worrying about your bruder.”

  “Okay.” Lillian nodded and rubbed her fingers under her glasses to wipe her tears.

  “She wouldn’t have to call you if you were here, which is where you should be.” Barbie’s words were sharp.

  Hannah frowned at her mother-in-law as frustration boiled inside of her. “Please don’t make this worse. We’re all upset Andrew was hurt.”

  “I’m not making this worse.” Barbie raised her eyebrows. “I think you’re wrong to leave Lillian in charge of things while you flitter around a fancy hotel like an Englisher.”