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Shifting Problems

Page 7

by Jason Paul Rice


  “I understand. Do you mind if we talk inside?”

  The woman let me in and the cordless phone in her hand started buzzing like when you called a wrong number. She pressed a button on the phone and it stopped. “I had pressed nine, one and was ready to press the last one when you showed back up.” She pointed to an oval, two-piece table with duct tape holding the separation together.

  “Do you mind grabbing a little water for my friend here?” I gestured to my new dog.

  She turned her head and screamed, “Suzette, could you bring us some water in a bowl?”

  A female voice called out, “What do you want a bowl of water for?”

  She looked over her shoulder and yelled louder, “Just bring me what I said. It’s for a dog, all right? Happy? Bring it in a cup or bowl, I don’t care. Just bring something that a dog can drink out of.”

  A woman emerged from the back with a handled saucer of water in her hand. She spilled it over the sides as she stomped into the room. Her scowl shifted to a smile when we made eye contact. She pushed her brown shoulder-length hair out of her eyes and tucked it behind her ear as she handed me the saucer.

  “Thank you,” I said, and held the saucer under my new dog’s mouth. My thirsty friend lapped up the liquid.

  “You’re very welcome. Mom, you didn’t tell me a handsome man was in our house.” She shifted her glittering green sleeveless top, but it still presented a lumpy figure. Her thin face didn’t match up with her body. She smiled and her nostrils turned up slightly, giving her face the appearance of a cat.

  Patty said, “I just need to talk to him for a few minutes if you will excuse us.”

  The daughter smiled, turned and went back into the kitchen. I turned my attention to Mrs. Elmhurst as my dog lapped up the water. “I found some pretty disturbing stuff up there. What do you know, ma’am? As in, who goes up there at night?”

  She looked around as if someone might be listening to us. She leaned closer and whispered, “Used to be just some of the neighborhood kids went up there. Then the gays started going up there to do…whatever it is those weirdos do.”

  I hadn’t the time to tell her how ridiculously insensitive her comments were before she continued, “I called the cops, but the stupid cops said there wasn’t anything they could do about it. I could hear them from here, having sex like animals. And I went up one night to yell at them and tell them how big of perverts they were.”

  She paused and took two trembling deep breaths.

  I asked, “And?”

  “I don’t know what I saw, I don’t think.” She buried her head into her hands. “They were naked and doing stuff that God didn’t intend for. With animals. He made men and women so…”

  I cut her off. She could have her homophobic rant at another time. “What did you see?”

  “I don’t even know anymore. No, I didn’t see anything. It was nothing.”

  I tried a different route. “What is it that you want me to find out? Normally people hire me to figure out a case, but if you don’t tell me anything, I can’t really help you out.”

  She waved her hands in front of her chest. “Oh no. I don’t have any money to pay you for anything. I was just being a good Samaritan. After the cops did nothing last time I called them, I figured I would call you. I just wanted to clear my conscience. I’m so sorry about the money.”

  Her daughter came back into the room. Patty shouted, “My daughter. My daughter. You can have her for a date.”

  My eyebrows rolled in a natural reaction. I had not expected to be offered a human being as payment. “That’s quite all right. I’m sure your daughter already has a lovely boyfriend and wouldn’t want anything to do with a guy like me.”

  Patty argued, “Yeah right, you should see the losers she brings around here. You’re quite the prize, I gotta tell you.”

  The daughter bluntly said, “I’d go out with you. You’re pretty hot and you seem a hell of a lot smarter than the guys I’ve been meeting. Plus, you look pretty badass with that blood on your face.” She winked at me.

  I blushed. I didn’t receive many compliments from women my age. I didn’t say anything and wallowed in my shyness.

  She walked over to a desk in the corner and tore a small scrap of paper away from a notebook. She scribbled something on the scrap and walked up to me.

  She extended the folded piece of paper and I took it from her.

  “Suzette,” she said.

  “Mike Merlino.” I didn’t feel quite right about this, but it would be good for me to get out on a date.

  She said, “Don’t call me. Just text me first and then we can go from there.”

  I smiled. “Sounds like a plan.” She lingered, smiling, as I waited for her to leave so I could ask her mother a few more questions.

  Suzette said, “Do you want me to show you out?”

  “I actually had a few more questions for your mother, if you don’t mind.”

  Patty threw up her arms. “No. I’m done with the questions. I told you what I know. I don’t want any more questions.”

  You had to be kidding me. The climax of the story was on the tip of her tongue a few moments ago. The daughter walked me to the door and pinched my ass as I walked through the frame. I turned around and my eyes were met with a dirty smile from Suzette.

  I handed her the saucer, set my dog down and we headed for my house. I needed to get my little buddy something to eat and give him an epic name. I thought about a good name as we walked downhill toward my duplex.

  I wanted a name with meaning. I thought about how I had found him. In a rhododendron plant. Rhode dog? No, that’s stupid. How about Adendron? Kind of cool, but still not there.

  I kept trying to come up with a cool name, but the phrase Colossus of Rhodes kept popping into my head. I snickered thinking about the size difference between the two and tried to find something better.

  The more I walked, the more I couldn’t get Colossus of Rhodes out of my head. Rhodes didn’t sound right and I kept searching for other names only to come back to one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World. I wanted my new friend to have confidence and the name Colossus seemed classy and perfect. Colossus it was.

  We made it to my house and I noticed that the poor fella was exhausted. I saw Reginald on the porch, wearing his leather Pirates jacket.

  9

  He said, “Young buck, how we doing today?”

  “Good. Made a new friend today. Say hi to Colossus.”

  “Hey there, little guy.” Reginald lowered his right arm and opened his huge palm. Colossus ran right into my neighbor’s hand and he scooped the dog up onto his lap. Colossus panted with his tongue hanging out as Reginald stroked the back of his head.

  I asked, “You want to come over for a little?”

  He made the same face almost every time I asked him. He scrunched his nose up and twisted his lips together. “I guess I can for a minute or two.” He used his favorite answer.

  I helped him get his wheelchair around the wooden divider on our porch. He gripped my arm like a bear when I slipped on one of my steps, sending a wave of pain through my injured shoulder. I regained my balance, shoved my good shoulder into the chair and got it up onto my porch.

  We went inside. I grabbed a small bowl of water for Colossus and searched the fridge as the dog started drinking, and Reginald rooted through my bookshelves.

  I barely had anything in my refrigerator. I took some grilled chicken and herb roasted potatoes from a few nights ago and chopped it up. I heated it up, put it in a bowl, and presented it to my new friend. Colossus attacked the food as if he hadn’t eaten in over a week. Checking out his wiry frame, it might have been longer.

  I left the dog to his meal and went into the living room.

  “Where’d you get this guy from?” Reginald asked.

  “Up on the hill. Lady lived right across the street from the ball field.”

  His eyes narrowed. “What? You take someone’s dog?”

  “Nothing
like that.” I shook my head.

  “Cuz I wouldn’t blame you. Those are some big burns all over this dog. Look at the inside of his left ear. Messed up. It’s getting me worked up just thinking about it.” Reginald and I shared the same beliefs on abusing women and animals.

  “Some really strange stuff has been happening around the ‘Burgh, Reg. Really strange. What’s been on the news?” I used Reginald as a pipeline to what the media reported on.

  “They talked about all them murders today. The ones with the G20 in blood. That looked pretty crazy.”

  I took off my hoodie and my T-shirt was soaked in blood.

  Reginald’s head jumped back. “Mike, what the hell done happened today?”

  I tilted my head to the side. “It was a bit of a rough morning. Think you could fix up a couple of little scratches from a kitty-cat? These ones are pretty deep. Deeper than those other ones.”

  “You know it. I’ve always been more of a dog person myself, but I’m willing to make an exception to help you out.”

  “Me too.” I petted my dog on the way to the kitchen.

  I grabbed my first aid kit and one more necessary item. The nerve calmer. I picked up the kit and a glass of whiskey. I walked back into the living room and handed Reginald a rocks glass almost full of Jameson.

  “Much obliged, young blood. What’s that? Blood around your mouth?” He nodded and took a sip. He looked so badass when he drank Jameson or smoked the occasional cigarette.

  I had almost forgotten about the shifter blood and fur. I pulled the plastic ramekin out of my pocket and hovered over it, scratching more crusty blood from my face and mouth as Reg directed me.

  Reginald squinted his eyes.

  I explained, “This is from a werelion shifter.”

  “Yeah, looks like you got some good blood samples there.”

  I remembered something else. “There might be some semen too,” I announced in an excited tone.

  Reginald’s face wrinkled, causing a look of disgust. “Now, I don’t know what you got going on young blood...”

  I stopped him. “Strange things happen in fights. No, it’s…it’s a long story, but, it’s a long story and we’ll leave it at that.”

  I took off my blood-soaked shirt, opened the kit on the couch and Reginald pulled out the equipment he needed. The good doctor put on a pair of plastic gloves, wiped away the blood, and took a closer look.

  “Sweet Mother Mary, what kind of cut is that, young blood? I seen a lot of cats in my day, and none of them had claws like that. That one in the middle’s gonna need some stitching,” he said, and swabbed the cut with some antiseptic.

  “It was a big kitty-cat, I guess. A werelion shifter. Much smaller than the Manticore.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Wrestled him with my bare hands and saw him shift with these two eyeballs. Something dark is going on, Reg. It’s big too. I can feel it.” Ironically, I felt a buzz on my thigh. Not a biblical premonition or anything like that, it was my phone.

  I pulled it out as Reginald took another gulp of Jameson and held his hand up to see if it was steady. Nope. Keep drinking, buddy. He sipped his rocks glass and dug through the medical kit as I checked the text message.

  Unknown number. Maybe it was another prospective job. Hopefully one that paid. I hit the button to see who it was and immediately regretted it. I took the phone number out of my pocket to confirm before reading the message. Suzette must have gotten my number from her mom.

  Hey Kutie…cnt stp thinkin bout ur sexy bod…wut u doin

  I was young, perhaps an old soul, but I hated contraction texting. Either she thought it was kute to intentionally misspell words or she was so busy that she needed to contract everything. Neither one appealed to me. And don’t get me started about the ellipses. “Hey, Reg.”

  “What’s that, young blood?” He looked at me, eyes glazed over, but focused, and I knew he was ready for surgery.

  “You’re pretty good with social media and things like that.”

  He swabbed the wound and picked up the needle. “I know a thing or two about a thing or two, ha ha.”

  He let out his signature booming laugh that usually followed his first glass of whiskey. I smiled. I enjoyed hearing Reginald’s laugh considering the shit he had to deal with concerning his worthless son.

  “If I check a text message, does the other person know that?” I hadn’t done much texting and I only had my business profiles on Facebook and Twitter.

  “Man.” He paused for a moment, nodding, deep in thought. “Probably. You know what kind of phone she got?” He had slid the needle through my skin three times. Reg worked as he talked when I wasn’t under anesthesia to keep me distracted.

  It always worked. I barely felt his precise stitch work. Reginald was not only a former surgeon, but he made medieval-style tapestries with heraldry and family crests. He was currently making me a personalized Merlino family tapestry.

  I hadn’t noticed a phone in Suzette’s hands. “I don’t know what kind of phone she has. Does it matter?”

  “Hell yeah, it matters, ha ha. Everything matters. Here’s the deal. If she got an old phone or she don’t really check her messages or have an obsessive personality then you should be alright. It would have to be a real old phone too. Like yours, ha ha.”

  Save it, Reg. “Indulge me and let’s just agree that she might have an obsessive personality.”

  “Then one-hundred percent she’s gonna check that shit, ha ha. Done. She’s already staring at her phone, shaking her head.” Reg finished the surgery and covered the wound with gauze and medical tape.

  “I can’t see it, but from the pain aspect, bravo, my friend. Bravo.” I sent a simple text to Suzette.

  Thanks.

  My phone immediately buzzed. So whn do u wnt to go out?

  Reg broke my concentration. “My payment’s probably at the bottom of this glass, huh?” He finished off the Jameson and handed me the glass. I knew what to do.

  The dog sprang up from his brief nap, followed me into the kitchen and leaned against the backdoor. I let him out to handle his business and poured Reginald another glass of the good stuff.

  I sent another text. How about tomorrow night?

  She immediately texted back again. K…ill be thnkng bout u

  Oh puke. Sounds good. Let me know if there’s somewhere you want to go?

  I went to put the phone away and it buzzed in my hand. Dn’t wrry…well have fun

  I wasn’t worried but her misuse of punctuation and ellipses made me try to think of an excuse to get out of this. I returned to my living room, handed Reg his payment for another successful surgery, and plopped down on the couch.

  I made small talk while Reginald sipped on his second drink and waited until he had finished more than half of it before I unleashed any juicy details. Reg knew things, and I don’t know how he knew, but his information always checked out. The only problem was Reginald was a little tight lipped due to his days in the service.

  That was where the Jameson came in. He took another drink and I dove right in. “Reg, you heard anything about crazy sex rings in Pittsburgh?”

  “You mean like a cock ring? Ha ha.” Reginald also turned into a comedian when he got drunk.

  I smiled and shook my head. “No. Like a sex club, and before you make a penis metaphor about a baseball bat, I’m talking about a group of people that involve themselves in group sex.”

  “You make it sound so clean and eloquent, young buck. Takes all the fun out of it. You know what young buck rhymes wit’ don’t cha? Ha ha.” He also gets a wee bit unfocused when he was drunk.

  “Reg. I really need you to pull it together. You’re always asking me if you can help, now’s the chance.”

  “You’re right. You’re right.” He looked at me, barely keeping a straight face, trying not to laugh as one eyebrow lowered and the other
raised.

  I couldn’t hold it in and I started bagging up. What can I say, he was a funny guy.

  We caught our breath and Reggie finished his second glass of booze. It was past last call and I wanted some information. “Reg. The sex ring? What of it?”

  “What I been hearing is that the McNights do something like that. But it ain’t illegal or against no one’s will. These people are willing participants from what I know. But that’s all I know.”

  That didn’t help me considering I had already known that. Reginald rambled on about a few things and the afternoon flew by as I kicked back on my couch with Colossus. It was almost time to get to the meeting.

  10

  I got to the building for the support meeting and already felt bad about leaving my dog home alone, especially with that box in the attic. The poor little guy had already been through enough. The past few days had been a blur, and I tried to recap the situation as I walked into the lobby.

  Alayna hated me. Shifters were running wild in Pittsburgh. The demons had my blood. I had the shifter’s fur, blood and possibly other stuff. I had that box that had been radiating dark energy in my attic. I had a date tomorrow, unless I could conjure up a good excuse. And apparently, there were two wild sex rings in Pittsburgh.

  So not too much going on right now.

  I tried to smash everything I knew together with tremendous force and hoped it would come out a diamond. It didn’t work. I looked in my empty palm and hoped some more. At least nobody had gotten hurt, except me, of course.

  I encountered a grim atmosphere when I entered the meeting room.

  Everyone was crying and hugging and that had only meant one thing in the past. I wondered who, as I took a quick check of the room. I hadn’t noticed anyone out of the ordinary missing. Maybe it had been someone from the A.M. Group.

  Then it hit me like a lightning bolt between the eyes. I’m an idiot. A damned fool. They got her. The demons got her. They got her because of me, because of my hoodie, because of my recklessness. That was one of the big rules. Don’t get any innocents killed. I was a murderer who was going to stand trial with the Golden Chamber.

 

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