Shifting Problems

by Jason Paul Rice

  A guilty verdict will be quickly rendered and I’ll face execution. I deserved it. I prided myself on protecting women and now I had gotten one killed. A cancer fighter. My sister. I collapsed into a chair, white as a ghost, and waited for Alayna to send her magical henchmen to deal with me.

  Alayna was the sweetest person I had ever known, she had taken me under her wing when I wanted to die, but she had a job to do. Anyone who violated the rules of the Golden Chamber had to be dealt with.

  I needed confirmation. I stood up and put my hand on Sharon’s shoulder. “What happened?”

  Sharon turned and hugged me. She was sobbing and trying to clear her throat. Once, twice, three times a lady she hacked away. She seemed satisfied and finally said, “Stacy.”

  I knew it. Had I needed to hear it out loud?

  “She’s missing.”

  Missing. Hope shot through my body, snaking out to my extremities and breathing life back into me.

  “She just up and disappeared. No signs of a struggle or nothing. What kind of monster would do this, Mike?”

  I wanted to answer her truthfully. I wanted to tell her that it was a monster well beyond her worst dreams. A monster so hideous, Medusa looked like a supermodel in comparison. A monster that could tear her apart in less than a second. A monster that was probably going to kill me.

  I ignored my inner voice and remained silent, patting Sharon on the back as she hacked up another phlegm ball. Everyone sat down and we started the meeting. Everyone shared. I shared. I don’t remember what anyone said, though, including myself.

  I just wanted the meeting to be over so I could figure out what had happened to Stacy. It sure seemed like everything I had touched in the past few days had turned sour, to say the least. Toward the end of the meeting, a lovely girl entered, and sat down in one of the chairs in the back for listening only.

  She looked familiar. Where had I seen her before? I threw the thought aside and shifted back to saving Stacy. I needed to get a hold of Gretchen and find out if she knew anything about the kidnapping. My heart skipped a few beats and I hoped that Stacy had her medication.

  I couldn’t feel any lower as I stood up to leave the meeting. The gorgeous woman in the back pointed at me and I lowered my head due to my shyness. I’ll admit it, I was intimidated by her looks.

  She kept pointing at me with a confused look on her face. “Where do I know you from? Rocco’s Jamfest?”

  I figured it out. The eyebrow ring. Damnit. I played dumb. “I’m not sure. You do look familiar though.” She just had to say, “I’ll figure it out” and we can both be on our way. I’ll find a new meeting group and nobody will get hurt.

  “Oh my God, you’re the detective that was working with my Mom that one day. Did she tell you about me? What’s your name again?” She talked fast and jittery.

  “Mike Merlino,” I used my Bogart accent like a damned fool. Smooth.

  She squinted her eyes and pursed her lips, confused. “Okay. I’m Satoku, and you already know my last name.”

  “Do I?”

  “I would hope you know my mom’s last name.”

  “Oh right. What was I thinking?” I wasn’t thinking at all. I still got nervous around women, evidenced by the extreme moisture in my palms.

  She laughed and smiled at me. I was in trouble and she seemed to know it. I hadn’t detected magic coming from her but she was giving off a special vibe, perhaps the intoxicating flowery aroma she emitted was covering it up.

  She had a silver eyebrow ring that sparkled next to her moss green eye and long, thick lashes. She wore silver necklaces, bracelets and rings, accentuating her sleek, skinny body. But I couldn’t take my eyes off her glimmering lips.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked.

  She rolled her eyes. She had lovely eyes. They pulled me in and wouldn’t let go. Was she a practitioner? What was going on?

  She said, “I assume I’m here for the same reason as you. Proud survivor.”

  “Congratulations. Full blown?”

  “As of last April.” She smiled.

  I was in big trouble and needed to refocus fast. “That’s awesome. This is a great group. Is this your first meeting?”

  She looked around before answering in a softer tone. “Here, yes. I feel really bad saying this, but I was going to the group downtown, and there was this guy who kept creeping me out. I know it’s awful to say since we’re supposed to be brothers and sisters.”

  I smirked. “Even families have some members that aren’t quite exemplary.” I probably knew that better than anyone. “Welcome to the group and if you need anything, my number is on the list.”

  “I was hoping you’d say that.” She held up a copy of the phone list.

  “Only as support beams,” I clarified.

  “We can see what happens.” She smiled shyly.

  She was clearly cheating with her sexiness, but I needed to stand firm. I didn’t need her mother on my ass. “Before we even hang out as support beams, let’s get a few things straight. Your mother and I…we’re basically partners and there is a certain code between partners. One of those codes is that we don’t hang out with our partner’s daughter if that meeting could even have the possibility of turning into something it shouldn’t.” I clumsily blathered on.

  She laughed. “Mike, are you scared of my Mom?”

  I immediately returned, “No.” Sort of. Yes. “What? What are you talking about?”

  “I can see it. Don’t be scared of her. She’s all talk.”

  “That’s easy for you to say. I’ve seen her shoot people.” I hadn’t, but I needed to find a way out of this before I caved in and offered this woman everything I owned. “Hasn’t she told you about me?”

  “Yes. A little.”

  I interrupted. “Then, why the hell would you want to hang out with me?” I hadn’t assumed Gretchen would be talking me up.

  “Dude, do you even own a mirror? Tall, blond hair, blue eyes. I mean, sure you look a little haggard right now, but scars are sexy, and I’ll bet you clean up nicely. And you can ditch the aw shucks attitude too. I know who you are.”

  She looked into my eyes and I felt like she was staring into my soul. I slammed the doors to my soul shut and her smile faded.

  “Let me in, Mike. We can have a lot of fun.” She lowered her head.

  I felt drunk. Beautiful women had that effect on me, but not like this. This had been something entirely different along the lines of moonshine or grain alcohol. I swore at myself because I couldn’t figure it out.

  I caved just as I knew I would. “All right. Let’s set some ground rules first.”

  “Now we’re talking. Tell you what, why don’t we get out of this room.”

  I turned around and realized we were the final two at the meeting. “Okay. We can talk while you give me a ride home. We can set our ground rules on the way if you want?”

  She stopped in front of her car and peered into my eyes again. “You don’t have a car, do you?”

  “No. How’d you know?” How in the hell did she know that? I squeezed into her Mazda Miata as she profusely apologized for the size of the car.

  “Lucky guess.” Her smirk indicated that it was not a lucky guess.

  I stared at her hand on the stick shift as she threw it in reverse and backed out. She turned the car around, and asked, “Why are you afraid of me?”

  “What?” I asked, and of course, my voice cracked. I should have gone with Bogart’s deep voice.

  “Guys are always intimidated by me, and I always thought maybe it was the cancer. But you shouldn’t care about that, right?”

  I lied. “Look, I’m not intimidated by you, and I’d be lying if I didn’t say you were a great-looking woman…”

  She interrupted my stammering. “Great-looking? Who says that?”

  I took a wild guess and went with nobody in their right mind. She threw the car in third gear, and said, “I mean, beautiful, gorgeous, hot, sexy, those are the words people use,
not great-looking.”

  “It’s basically the same thing. I’m not so eloquent with the ladies.”

  “Okay. Sorry to berate you.” She giggled and it relieved a little tension. “It’s just--great-looking is something you say to an ugly girl to make her feel better about herself.”

  She was Gretchen’s daughter all right. Tough as nails and holding me accountable for every syllable.

  “Trust me when I say, any guy would be Powerball jackpot lucky to land a girl like you.”

  “So then what are we doing playing around like this? I don’t have a boyfriend and I assume you don’t have a girlfriend from this pitiful performance.”

  “That is an accurate assumption, but we aren’t doing anything, remember? You’re taking me home.” I just realized I hadn’t been giving her directions, but she had taken a direct route toward my house. “How do you know where I live?”

  “My mom said you live in Blawnox. Did she lie? And just so you know, she didn’t tell me that you had cancer.”

  Right, good reminder. “That’s because she doesn’t know. Partners don’t share everything. Could we keep it a secret between us please?”

  I watched her think about the prospect of blackmail for a few moments until she came to her senses and remembered the code of the support group. Her eyes shifted and she pushed her lips out. “Deal. We can talk about it more at your house.”

  “At my house? It would be a bad idea to have you in my house. Really bad. Public setting, maybe, but I thought you were just dropping me off. That was the plan.”

  “Plans change. Are you doing what you thought you would three years ago?”

  She totally changed the subject in a rather deft manner, but she had a point. I said, “Not exactly. My house is pretty messy too.”

  She immediately squashed that coverup. “I don’t care.”

  I won’t belt out my cheesy Bogart line, but why this girl? Why right now? Why Gretchen’s daughter? She seemed so perfect. Was this a cruel joke to tease me? Why was she so damn intoxicating? If only I could have said that out loud.

  Had I mentioned that women messed with my head? It wasn’t good for a wizard. We needed to remain sharp at all times, if not for ourselves, for the communities we protect. “I just got a new dog. Honestly, Colossus probably went to the bathroom all over the place so you probably don’t want to get involved with any of that.”

  “Aaawwww. You have a dog. What kind?”

  That backfired rather nicely. “He’s a cocker spaniel.”

  “Why did you name him Colossus? Cool name by the way.”

  “Thank you.” I really appreciated the compliment. I started the long story about rescuing him in the rhododendron until I realized how boring it was. “Just ironic because the Colossus of Rhodes was huge, you know, one of the Seven Wonders of the World, and my new partner is just a wee little guy.”

  “Oh my God. That is so sweet.”

  I looked over at her glossy eyes and realized my plan to drive her away from my house was spectacularly backfiring. However, I made a mental note of the efficacy of cute dog stories on women and stashed it away for future use. It was like a freaking aphrodisiac as the temperature rose in the car.

  “Yeah, so you probably want to get home anyway, huh?” I tried one last time.

  “I just want to hang out with a fellow survivor. Don’t get me wrong, my Mom is great and she is so supportive, but it’s just not the same as hanging out with someone who knows what you’ve been through. You know, the fight.”

  I had known. And she knew that I wouldn’t refuse an offer wrapped like that. “Just for a little bit.”

  “Ack. Yay,” she squeaked.

  “Seriously. And we are never going to tell your mom about this. If you pass out because my apartment is too gross, it’s on you.” I tried my last feeble attempt to push her away.

  “I think I’ll take my chances, thank you.”

  We pulled up to my house and parked across the street. I turned to her with a smile. “Sure you don’t want to call it off. It’s not too late. I won’t be mad.”

  “You know what, forget it.”

  I tried to defend myself and she barked, “Fuck you. Get the fuck out of my car. I’m going out of my way to be nice to you and you want nothing to do with me. See ya.”

  Oh snap, daughter bear had fangs. And I liked it.

  “You have to understand what kind of position this puts me in. In pretty much any other situation possible, I would be all over you. I’d be embarrassing myself, mind you.”

  She giggled. I let out a huge exhale and continued, “You are beautiful. Intoxicating. Even a blind man could see it.”

  She blushed and turned away. I said, “It’s just the situation. I’d love to have you in but we need to keep it on the level.”

  “Okay.”

  I opened the door and stepped out as Satuko fished around her center console for something. I smiled and breathed in a little of the crisp October air. I looked up at the stars to enjoy the night.

  Damnit.

  A red streak crossed the cloudless sky and crashed through the roof of my apartment.

  11

  I opened the passenger door and leaned in.

  She asked, “What the fuck was that?”

  “Yeah, so about that. I’m going to have to take a raincheck on our ren dez vous. Some detective stuff has come up. I’ll explain it all later.”

  The red streak let out a mighty roar that shook the structure of the duplexes. Alayna was going to kill me for that roof damage. If I could just hold it to that, I might be okay.

  She surprised me with her words. “No. I’m not letting you off the hook that easy. You probably planned that.”

  “How the hell could I plan something like that?”

  “Mike, I know you’re a wizard. I know they can do stuff like that.”

  “Is there any way I could make all this up to you?”

  “Yeah. Take me on a date. A full-fledged date.”

  I had two choices. Take my chances with some demon that just flew through the sky, or take my chances with Gretchen Meyer. Neither seemed like a good idea and the direction this train was heading I might have to deal with both just to save my house. The beast in my attic threw a chunk of my roof past my head.

  “You know I can’t do that. How about we discuss it at the next meeting? You’re going to die if you stay here.”

  “No. I said I want a date. And you’re paying now.” She opened her door and got out.

  I lifted my head and smacked the back of it into the top of the doorjamb. I shook my head and opened my jaw to get rid of the pain. “Are you crazy? Get back into the car.”

  Dozens of neighbors had come outside and the beast roared again. Satoku seemed unfazed by the death monster thrashing around my attic. Thrashing around my attic!

  The box.

  “Satuko, I changed my mind. A date it shall be. When is good for you?” I grabbed the house key out of my pocket.

  “I don’t know. You pick.”

  You don’t want me to pick. There wasn’t a good time for me right now. “How about Halloween night? We could hang out for the eclipse?” Remember, the event I had been fired up for until a few days ago.

  “I don’t get off until midnight. And it won’t be a real date, but if you want to get together when I get out of work, we could do that.”

  “Absolutely, it would be my honor. I’ll see you then, or at a meeting before then, if chance should have it.”

  I smiled and ran across the street as she screamed, “Goodbye.”

  I stopped on my sidewalk, turned around, gestured a grand bow, and blew her a kiss. “Goodbye, my dear.” I had a flair for the dramatic, sue me.

  I darted to my front door and shoved the key in. I craned my neck around to see Satoku driving away as I turned the key to open my door. I forced my way in and saw my buddy.

  “Sorry Colossus. I’ll get to you in a few minutes.”

  Reginald banged against the wall. �
��Everything alright over there, Mike?”

  “It’s great, Reg. Whatever you do, don’t come over for a little while. I have to take care of something.”

  I don’t remember if I hit any or all of the steps on my way up. I ripped open the secret door to my attic and almost passed out from the smell. It wasn’t a putrid scent, but it stung my nostrils and made my eyes water. It was sulfuric acid or oil of vitriol if you were a classicist.

  I decided to jump into my attic anyway as I tucked my necklace under all my layers. I couldn’t let this creature get that wooden box. The box could be the key to this entire puzzle. I couldn’t screw anything up more than I already had as I climbed the little ladder and poked my head into the attic.

  A strong wave of magic was swirling around my dark attic as the creature thrashed around, smashing everything in sight. I hoped the floorboards held up to keep the secret box safe. I could only see a red cape until the creature turned to face me.

  She looked like an Empusa, but not the textbook definition. Her thick red hair transitioned into a cape that I assumed acted as her wings. She wore a long, emerald glove to her elbow on one arm and her right consisted of a golden arm and an enormous hand. The tall, thick vampiric demon had pointed ears and exposed four fearsome fangs as she smiled at me.

  Pardon me if I don’t return the courtesy. She wore a tight black suit resembling a one-piece bathing suit and her bronze skin glowed in the starlight. Her right leg was protected by blue armor and she had the hoof of a horse instead of a foot.

  She stopped her thrashing and focused on me with glowing purple eyes. I didn’t feel quite right about fighting a woman, but I’d be damned if I was going to let her get that box. She hissed a mighty hiss and I could feel the wind in my hair. The smell came next. Heavy and thick and stinking of raw game, mainly the organs.

  I screwed up. I should have centered myself so I could access my magic much easier. Instead, I had rushed in unprepared. I used all my faculties trying to get a sense of her power. Oh no.